No Clothes and a Broken Neck

We start things out with a talk about pain tolerance, strength training myths, and how our bodies change as we age. We then bounce from Ren Fair joy and a quest-induced parenting gut punch to BookTok culture and listener questions about nudity, boundaries, and fighting fairly around kids. 

• neck pain, muscle tightness, and why self-treatment feels scary 
• why lifting weights rarely makes you “bulky” and what it actually takes to build muscle 
• protein maxing versus fiber maxing and what we naturally gravitate toward 
• drink of the day debate and how fast cravings can change 
• Renaissance fair recap, costumes, group chaos, and the kids’ quest obsession 
• the long line for knighting, real-life constraints, and the guilt of disappointing a kid 
• Off Campus on Amazon Prime, BookTok’s influence, and why romance shows can feel “written” 
• kismet, ordained, and the unexpectedly heated cursive letter rankings 
• screen childhoods, handwriting skills, and what we’re relearning 
• being a naked parent, body neutrality, and respecting the most modest person in the room 
• how we handle disagreements when kids are awake and why resolution matters 

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

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Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Neck Crick And Pain Thresholds

SPEAKER_01 0:04

This might be the beginning of the end of Joe Johnson.

SPEAKER_04 0:08

What comes next?

SPEAKER_01 0:09

I don't I the ground. Being buried six feet under.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Being what what am I trying to say?

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Deceased?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

No, uh being cremated.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

I don't want to be buried six feet under.

SPEAKER_04 0:25

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Oh, I mean she's ready for the urn. I woke up this morning and I had a like weird crick in my neck. And it it didn't feel good, but it wasn't terrible. And then I went to Pilates and it felt fine during Pilates, but I clearly like fatigued some muscles that were keeping things on the tracks.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

I thought this had I didn't know you had this since you woke up.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Oh yeah. No, I'd had it. We were in our oh my gosh, I am having a hard time even recording because moving my body at all is it's it's so bad. I I woke up this morning and even during our warm-up during Pilates, where we're just doing neck circles, like we're just like warming it up. Uh-oh, that doesn't feel right. And then during the workout, I didn't like everything was fine. And then as we went through our cool down during our workout and stuff, I was like, uh oh. And then Caroline and I went over and grabbed a coffee. And about mid-coffee, I was thinking, oh shit, I'm in trouble. And Caroline gave me some I think tiger bomb is what it was called.

SPEAKER_04 1:38

It's like what is it? Like Ben Gay.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah. And that did help some, but I don't think I'm injured. I think I just have some tight muscles from sleeping weird. Yeah. And then I'm, I don't know, maybe the Theragun.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Which always feels a little crazy to use on your own neck.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Absolutely horrifying.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

Yeah, but it does work. I've used it on some muscles that I'm like, this can't possibly help. This is gonna be a disaster.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

It's not that I don't, I understand that it would help, but the idea of the pain that I could be in doing that, I don't think I could do it to myself. Like I really, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

I feel like I'd have to do it to myself.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

No, I want you to do pretty much anything when I hurt, I want you to do it.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I feel like you have more knowledge about my body than I have about myself.

SPEAKER_04 2:30

I don't feel like you have great knowledge about like how bodies and muscles work together. I don't. Yeah. You've got the ability to use them. You have some skills, at least in the department.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

I have really good body awareness in terms of which is hilarious as I say you're injured, but I feel like form and things like that. I rarely I I can't think of a time I've ever really hurt myself. But right now, I'm like, do people I how how do you survive through this? It's so bad.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

What a charmed athletic career you've had. If you've well, that's not true. Your knees have both like Yeah, but they're structurally deficient to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Right. It was a actual interior problem with how they were formed.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

And then but then once it stopped bothering me, it stopped bothering me.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

I've never had joint or muscle pain from an injury. Because my knees weren't injuries, it's that I had those extra ligaments or tendons or whatever they were running under my kneecap. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

Yeah, you had like bonus parts.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

I had bonus parts in my knees, and the repetitive motion from swimming irritated it, and so they had to remove one. Other than that, they were fine.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Did you have like two ACLs?

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Like could you have been like a No, it wasn't cool. It wasn't anything actually worthwhile.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

You were like a what if you're like a professional football player and like you tore an ACL but you had a backup ACL?

SPEAKER_01 3:59

No, it was not that interesting.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

It wasn't anything cool. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

No. If it was something interesting, I would have never shut up about it. That's that's true. That's literally who I am.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

And yeah, you never talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

So anything that makes me feel cool, I will repeat it a thousand times.

SPEAKER_04 4:13

Fair enough. Yeah, I guess you don't you don't really walk around with injuries.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

No.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

Whereas I are you aware of my my finger injury? No, though just like I think the the tendon in one or both of my index fingers is a little overused.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

From what?

SPEAKER_04 4:31

From lifting, like really heavy stuff. I think pulling on it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Huh.

SPEAKER_04 4:37

It's why remember I was taping it like a couple weeks ago? No, I because it doesn't like bother me when I use it.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

You do weird stuff. I just in one ear out the other a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

You're like you're managing something all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Well, yeah, a little bit. There are times that it's clear something's actually impacting your like if you were feeling how I'm feeling right now, I would be very aware of it. I feel like, don't you?

SPEAKER_04 5:01

No, maybe, maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:04

I don't know how bad you're feeling.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

I don't think I'm moving naturally.

SPEAKER_04 5:08

Like, I feel like it's I feel like I regularly don't move naturally, though.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Yeah, but that's like a tism thing, huh? Right?

SPEAKER_04 5:16

Sure. But also the number of times that I'll do a workout and like can't walk correctly.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah, I don't relate to that.

SPEAKER_04 5:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

I've been in pain, like I've been sore. Yeah, you really don't believe in overusing your absolute I'm not an overload kind of gal.

The Bulky Myth And Muscle Culture

SPEAKER_01 5:31

I actually was talking to my best friend about this this morning after my workout because we were talking about how I don't know what happened in my life, like I wish I remembered my childhood better so that I had a better grasp on how I was introduced to bodies and muscle and taking care of yourself and lifting weights, etc. Because I was telling her a story about in college when a dear friend of mine showed me a picture of, I don't know, some Victoria's Secret model. And that was her inspiration. She said, I want to look like this. And I said, Well, what are you doing? And she said, Well, I'm gonna run and I'm gonna do this, this, and this. And I said to her, You're gonna have to lift weights to look like that, you are going to have to go lift weights. And she had responded and said, Well, I don't want to get bulky. And immediately my response was, What? That's not do you know how hard people have to work to get bulky? And I said to Jay this morning when I was talking to her on the phone, I want to understand why I knew that at 19.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

But like you had spent so much time training. You guys did training, like you did lifting, you were around men and women working out, so you had a much better understanding, and you trained so much too. Yeah, that's a big difference. Okay, is like you did compete in a sport at a high, high, high level. Yeah, and you did it a lot, and so if someone has just casually done sports or you know, at a basic high school level, they may not be around that, especially as a woman. Like as men, it's different because there's so much more emphasis on bulking. Yeah. Um but you were in a semi-strength based on the state.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Yeah, well, it did really well for me because I never really had that fantasy.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

No.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

I always my mom lifted weights my whole well, until she couldn't lift weights anymore. But my mom lifted weights when I was a little girl.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

Yeah, you were ahead of the curve a little bit there.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 7:40

Now it's very in vogue.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

It is very in vogue. People are talking about building muscle.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

And I don't feel like I've ever had to work very hard at protein. Protein maxing. Protein maxing. I'm in my fiber maxing journey.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

That's true. I mean, anyone who's protein maxing should be fiber maxing.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

I'm not protein maxing, to be clear.

SPEAKER_04 7:58

No, you're yeah. I've got to be.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

I've never protein maxed in my life.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

No, you're a fiber maxer, mainly in like you like carbs, and then sometimes carbs come along with fiber.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Pretty much.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

That's your belief button.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

I like to garden, and I feel like in garden season I do take in more fiber because I eat more fresh produce.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Go me.

SPEAKER_04 8:24

Go you.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Anyway, what's what's going on? What's going on? Yeah.

Fresca Versus Red Bull Preferences

SPEAKER_01 8:29

I want you to give everybody actually, we're gonna start with drinks because I want to open my drink, and for some reason, I've created this thing in my head where I can't open my drink until I talk about it. So drink the day. You go first. What do you got?

SPEAKER_04 8:43

I'm drinking a fresca, but the the peach citrus fresca.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

I don't like those, and you keep getting them.

SPEAKER_04 8:49

Really? I thought you really like them.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

I shouldn't say I don't like them. They're okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

They're like harder to get. So I would just get normal fresca if that's what you prefer.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

I I like those, but I want them to be a treat. I you know what? I take it all back. I said I don't like it. That feels extreme. It's just so often I want a traditional fresca. Which is straight up grapefruit. I want those as a treat.

SPEAKER_04 9:13

Got it.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Okay, I'm drinking a Red Bull Zero. Which I at one point told Matt I don't like and I have decided recently is my favorite.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Yeah, we broke that down on the podcast last time you had one.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

So basically, what you just learned from the fresca and from the Red Bull is you can't rely on anything I say.

SPEAKER_04 9:32

I've kind of known that, but it's still I operate on what I hear.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

So well, my taste buds change not change, but what I want changes constantly. Like the orange sherbet was my favorite Alani for a long time. Still like it, not gonna pick it right now. Yeah. Actually, probably not gonna pick an Alani at all. I was really sweet maxing for a while, and now I feel like I'm swinging back to my salty girl era.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

Okay, got it. I mean, Red Bull's not salty, but no, no, no, no. I don't know that. How much sodium's in there?

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Okay, let's flip that can around. How much sodium is in here?

SPEAKER_04 10:04

Find out it's shockingly high in salt.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

30 milligrams. I don't think that's very much 1% of my daily value.

SPEAKER_04 10:10

Yeah, there's more salt in the fresca. 35 milligrams.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Ooh, way more. Night and day.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

That's 2%.

Ren Fair Fun Meets Quest Meltdown

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Matt got to go to a Renfair.

SPEAKER_04 10:22

Uh yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

And he's gonna tell you all about it. He's so excited. Matt had so much fun at the Renfair. He loves a Renfair. Matt is a Renfair boy. Ren fair. Ren affair. Ren Fair.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

I think we were just gonna do chance during the during the intro of it. Yeah, the Renfair. The Renfair is an experience. And it's not necessarily my scene in that there's a lot of people really doing the most. And I'm okay. Like I can respect it. I just I like to be there and I have a hard time participating in it.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

I love passionate people. As long as they're not judging me for not doing it to the same level or correctly, there's honestly not a better environment for me.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

Really? Than a rent fair?

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Yeah. Or anything where people are really fully committing to really anything.

SPEAKER_04 11:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

I'd like to watch people be excited about something.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

I have a hard time suspending the analytical side of it's the same problem I had in Vegas.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I was about to say, it was like the casino all over again.

SPEAKER_04 11:33

I'm like, guys, the math, the math doesn't work here. The math isn't working.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

What about the what math at the Renfair?

SPEAKER_04 11:39

It's not about math at the Renfair. It's just it requires a pretty thorough suspension of disbelief.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

You're like, that is not historically accurate. Your fairy wings, wrong. Those wouldn't get you out of the air at all.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

That's not a real dragon. No. Um yeah. You know, I'm I'm trying to say everything as nicely as I can because I do, I don't want to yuck other people's yum.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Like, I don't go around being like, eh, but I just I have a hard time getting into the spirit of he's chasing after his wife, who has the energy of like Paris Hilton at Coachella at the Ren Fair.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Or chasing my children. So at the Ren Fair, they give the kids a quest.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

And our daughter, bless her heart, is a lot like her dad, and that, especially at that age, you give her a mission, you give her a quest. That girl is on the quest. Everything else, we went to the Omaha Zoo with our family. And the Omaha Zoo has a little pamphlet that you get in one of the exhibits. Yeah. And you get a stamp when you go to the passport. It's called Yeah, it's a passport. But you go to each of the exhibits, and then somebody there has a stamp that stamps your passport. The moment she got that passport, she didn't give a damn about the animals from the rest of the point on. She would go place to place, we'd go to the giraffe exhibit, she'd find the person at the desk, be like, stamp, please, deuces. She's like, let's go to the gorilla. Yeah, she's like, Oh, the next one is the yeah, the gorilla. The aquarium. The aquarium, whatever. But she was done looking at animals that day. And the problem is the Renfair has a similar situation.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

And but we were in a group of 20 adults.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

All quests are canceled from here on out.

SPEAKER_04 13:28

Yeah, we uh we'd have been.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

We need to like make our own.

SPEAKER_04 13:31

We either need to make our own, we need to never start the quest. Like, we need to pre-vet that this quest is gonna consume everything.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I think I'm just gonna be like, oh, this is a sheet of paper that tells us where the bathroom is.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

Look, it's right there. We can get rid of it. Yep. And then any person we see the rest of the day, we're like, you talk about the quest. We're we're you're in charge then. Yeah. She was she was having a blast. The kids had a ton of fun. It was really cool.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I had a ton of fun.

SPEAKER_04 13:59

You had a ton of fun. I was there supporting everyone's fun it with the best attitude that I your outfit was cute. Thanks. Yeah. I I felt good that I was at least in the garb. I wasn't standing out one, like I wasn't doing the most with my outfit, but I wasn't doing nothing.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

But I think you prefer that. One of our really dear friends that was there with us dressed up as a lady knight, and she does not like attention drawn to her, but she looked incredible. And from the time we were walking in, she got stopped, I don't know, three, four times just on the walk into the Renfair. And she immediately said, Oh, I think I have made a mistake. I do not like the attention that is being drawn. Right.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

She got wrapped up into the craft of making something cool. And then people really wanted to acknowledge the cool thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

And she did. She looked really cool.

SPEAKER_04 14:48

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

But I I had a ball.

SPEAKER_04 14:53

Yeah, no, no, it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

I'm already planning my next trip. I would like to go not in Oklahoma.

SPEAKER_04 14:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

I'd like to go in like Texas or I don't know where else has good ones. They have a lot bigger.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

Got it. It'sn't enough for you.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Well, it's not that it's not that. It's just they have a lot more performances and a lot more skilled artisans and things at the bigger show, like Red and Ferry festivals.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

Got it. Our problem that we had is we had a huge group, and then we had kids that wanted to do the quest, but then we were trying to do stuff in between the points of the quest, and we'd have been better off dedicating just two hours right off the bat to knock out the quest. Yeah. Just do the things, get the stamps, move on. But instead we tried to blend them.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

What should have happened is you should have taken off with the child that wanted to do the quest.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

And done the quest in an hour and then map met back up with everybody.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

You know, we learned for next time.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

We did. We learned. So man, and the sad part, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Should we jump to I I can't even talk about it. I'll cry.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

We don't want to make that bad dad mean mom just knock that out early.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yeah, you're right. Okay, bad dad, mean mom. This is horrible.

SPEAKER_04 16:16

It's not horrible. We tried.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

It makes me feel sick to my stomach bad.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

But here's the deal bad dad, mean mom would have been if what we tried to do initially, we pulled off. We I really tried. So, anyway, because we're just gonna never stop talking about this quest. When you finish the quest at four o'clock, they start, it was right, four o'clock, but whatever it was. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

It was four o'clock.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

At four o'clock, they you meet the queen and you get knighted. You get knighted or ladied. Ladied. That's not right. That can't possibly be right. Anyway, but you you go through the whole rig and roll and you're you're legit. You're legitimized as whatever you choose to be. Well, there was a giant line. Even before, so we got there, I don't know, 20 minutes early. There was already a giant line in front of us. And we were like, hey, what if we just buy a toy on our way home? Because everybody else that didn't have kids or that their kids weren't as into the quests, they they were gone. They were leaving.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

They're like, there's absolutely no we're gonna and we are not uh let's just buy a toy kind of people. I don't know that we've ever even tried that.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

No, and it frankly it doesn't work that well. No, it didn't work this time. Like our kid was committed to the quest.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Yeah, she was like, I'd like to be knighted.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

She's like, No, I went ahead and got all the stamps. I will be receiving my final stamp that I get at the very end of this whole thing. So unless you have a stamp at home to stamp this with, which I guess we could have made that up. We probably should just have a very official looking stamp or like a wax seal thing. We could have sealed it at home and she'd been just delighted, could have knighted her.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Well, that's what everybody before everybody our all of our friends went home. Yeah, okay, to be clear. And all of them before they left were like, we could do something when we get home. Like Lane can show up as a knight with her sword, and yeah, but I I digress.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

Nope. I'm doing it the real way. And we tried to we tried to bribe her out of it, and then when she was really wanting it, I was like, you know what? Fine. I'm gonna sit here in line with you. We're gonna do this thing. We made all the trouble. You have been trying to get people to quest with you all day, and it has been a beating for you. I'm gonna wait in line. And we waited in line 40 minutes after four o'clock. So basically an hour. We'd waited in line, got all the way to the start of where you do the actual like ceremony stuff, and then I realized it was probably gonna be another 40 minutes to an hour of the ceremony before we got to the end of that. And I was like, hey, um, everybody left an hour ago. Your mom, though, your mom is out with your brothers, who I don't think are having it anymore. Like when we told our son he could leave and not do the nighting thing, he's like, Deuces, yeah, and I had to at that point be like, Yeah, we're gonna have to do something else because we gotta go home. Not to mention we had to leave for our next trip the day after. So that was a whole other deal. That was the bad dad moment.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Um, yeah, she was really disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

She was, she handled it well, but she was communicating well that she was really disappointed.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

And I I could cry thinking about it. I felt so bad.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

That was a bad dad mean mom for sure. Just took a little bit of magic out of the day.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

But the renver was fun.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I liked getting dressed up. Are you ready to jump into Chronicle Online?

SPEAKER_04 19:51

I'm ready to get out of this conversation for sure.

Off Campus Craze And Lookalikes

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Okay, Chronically Online this week. We are going to talk about the show that is hitting everybody's feed. Everybody's talking about it. Book talks going wild. If you're not following what I'm talking about, it's Off Campus, which is Amazon Prime's new uh hockey romance, college hockey romance show. Yeah. And they're based on the book series Off Campus by L. Kennedy, which I did read in I don't know, 2018. They came out in 2015.

SPEAKER_04 20:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

So they've they've been around. I knew it came out because the day after it came out, I got flooded with DMs from people saying Matt looks like Garrett Graham.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

Garrett Graham.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

So how do you feel about looking like Garrett Graham?

SPEAKER_04 20:43

I feel fine. I I understand that we have like a lot of distinct features that look similar, but I don't totally see how we look alike. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. We do. I understand I don't think I'm good at seeing my own face from a third party perspective, I guess. Like I have a limited experience with my face from different angles. So the comparisons are a little hard for me. But I it's clearly a compliment. He looks great.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

And we did start the show.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

We did start, what are we, three episodes in? Something like that? Show's been good. I'm enjoying the show. Yeah, I but I I don't totally see it. I I understand it.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

That's how I feel about Madeline Klein.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Okay. See, I do see it for you, definitely with her. But people tell me about it. No, it's just like Because you know what made more sense is when we were in high school and Taylor Lautner.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

That never made sense to me.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

Interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

I've never thought you looked like him.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Because I feel like we had such similarly maybe it was more the styling. I don't know what it was.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

You guys were to me, how you're actually Acting about people telling you you look like Garrett Graham in the show is how I felt about people telling you you looked like Taylor Laudner. Because I don't think you ever looked like him. You guys are both just tan with dark hair. Your coloring was the same, and that was it.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it's the features that other people think about with me.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Do you have other celebrities that you've been oh uh De Luca?

SPEAKER_04 22:25

That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

De Luca on Gray's Anatomy. And for me, it's Miss Connecticut. Is it Miss Connecticut? Miss Miss Yeah, I think it's Miss Connecticut. Okay. In Miss Congeniality. Got it. The one that wins.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Okay. I haven't seen Miss Connect.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Always told me I look like her, and that I can definitely see.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

And people tell me I look like Caroline from Vampire Diaries, and that one I've never seen, can't see.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

Alan Rickman.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Oh, that is by far. I mean, we're twins.

SPEAKER_04 22:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

We are twinsies.

SPEAKER_04 23:00

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Alan Rickman and me, we look just alike.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

Well, like several of the distinct features about Alan Rickman. Yeah, we look and he's a very distinct looking person. So to share the distinct features of Alan Rickman.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

It's very hard to like not see.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

No, Alan Rickman and I really, and people, that's another thing that people do get uh hurt for me. Yes. You know, they're like, no, you don't. I'm like, no, we literally like Snape and I, I could play Snape's kid. Yeah. Undoubtedly. Style me up. I am Snape.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Twins.

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Yeah, like we should be looking for shared lineage with Alan Rickman.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Try and make sense in your head, then, of I am Snape's twin, but she looks like Madeline Klein. What? You know, that's why it's hard for me.

SPEAKER_04 23:51

You have to merge Alan Rickman, Madeline Klein. That's Joe.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Sounds hot.

SPEAKER_04 24:00

Hey, and I say this all the time. Young Alan Rickman, kind of a babe.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Kind of a babe.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

But people get really offended when you talk about looking similar to Alan Rickman.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

And I'm like, I understand that maybe you don't want to be compared, not you don't care, but I don't care to be cared to compared to old Alan Rickman. Yes, maybe not the most aesthetically pleasing individual, but younger Alan Rickman was an attractive person.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

Yeah. I don't feel any kind of way.

SPEAKER_04 24:30

No. I don't that's the nice part of not having invested too much of your own self-worth in your looks.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

True.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

So I uh would like to circle back around to off campus though. Got it. How do you feel about the romance world? You know, like romance novels and this book talk thing now translating to film.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Well, some of that's always happened. Like people have always adapted stories.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Totally.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

But I guess specifically the romance genre?

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Well, I feel like, yes, people have always adapted stories, and yes, there have always been love stories told, etc. etc. I do feel like we're in kind of a weird season where book talk has taken a formula and pushed it out from authors in a much more rapid rate, and people are much more locked in and hyper focused on romance novels in a way that they haven't been culturally in the past.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

That's fair. I will say, when watching the show, I was like, this is a book. Like, what's happening in this story is a is a romance book brought to screen and done well, but just the dynamics of it, it's like this this was adapted directly from written. Because I think it's there's things that are easier to execute in writing and harder to execute in writing. And many of the things they're doing, you're like, yeah, that was written exactly like that. I don't know anything about this book, but that had to be written this way. And I'm trying to think of some of it is maybe just how they've styled it too. I think they've kind of leaned into that in some ways.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Well, it's like the limited friend group, there's no extrapolation of friends, really.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 26:09

They'll have parents and whatever, but then they don't have relationships with their parents that are front-facing. So like Thanksgiving comes and they're mostly with their friends for Thanksgiving. And who do you know that you might have a friend that didn't go home for Thanksgiving or whatever, but what group of friends do you know that all 12 of them didn't go home in college for Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_04 26:33

Yeah, there are no like outside pressures or something.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

There's no outside like relationships or outside social groups.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Because they're like your characters aren't everything operates in a vacuum.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

Yeah. Because even in college that doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:50

When you extrapolate past that, yes. People are in and out of things constantly. They'll be at this event, but not the next event. And that doesn't happen as much in books and stories.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

No, it's like the same 20 people at everything.

SPEAKER_04 27:03

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

And then just the extras that are around. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 27:07

Yeah. I I thought it's been good so far. Again, I haven't read the book, but you said the book's good.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

I enjoyed the book.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

You said it's like a super, isn't it like a super popular?

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Super popular.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Yeah. Like it has over a million ratings on Goodreads.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

That seems like a lot.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

It's a lot.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

For a book, a ton. Yeah. And there are four books in this series, and then she has a spin-off series that's four more books. And that's my favorite, I think. And then she did an additional series that is the children of the characters from this book in college.

SPEAKER_04 27:46

Geez, okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

Anyway, that was that's what everybody's been talking about. That's fair. On my for you page. I'm sure not everybody's for you page. I'm on book talk for sure.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

Yeah, book talk and a striking resemblance.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

And a striking my gosh. Get me out of here. Okay. Do we have a word

Kismet, Cursive, And Tech Regrets

SPEAKER_01 28:04

of the week?

SPEAKER_04 28:04

I'm sure we can do a word of the week. Are you familiar with Kismet?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

We did that.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

Kismet?

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

When? What is it then?

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Uh I don't know, but I remember talking about seeing it in books.

SPEAKER_04 28:17

I don't think we've done Kismet. Preordained by a force or fate of destiny.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Okay, maybe we haven't, but I th Okay. No, Kismet. K-I-S-M-E-T.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Okay. Are you sure?

SPEAKER_04 28:35

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Okay. Cosmic.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

Cosmic. What do you what are we doing?

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Does it mean cosmic?

SPEAKER_04 28:43

No, preordained by a force. A fate or destiny.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

What does ordained mean?

SPEAKER_04 28:48

Preordained? Yeah, what like fated.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

What's ordained mean?

SPEAKER_04 28:54

Ordained? Like you can be an ordained minister.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Right. And I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_04 28:59

Like official.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Ordained is our part of the point.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

Fine. We'll look up ordained to get the exact definition. Ordained. To officially invest someone with ministerial or priestly authority, elevating them to clergy. It's used more broadly to mean formally declaring, decreeing, or establishing something by authority.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Okay, so preordained.

SPEAKER_04 29:23

Yeah. It's ordained and established by this constitution. Uh that's a quote.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

What's happening?

SPEAKER_04 29:32

Pretty sure that's from the preamble, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:34

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

To ourselves and our posterity.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Babe, you know they made us memorize that shit and it went in one ear and out the other.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Did you ever properly memorize it?

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Heck no. Okay. I've never properly memorized anything in my entire life other than March of the Gnomes.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

March of the Gnomes.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

It was my competition piece on piano in the third grade.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun ba-da-da-da-dun bum bum bum bum ba da da dum bum bum bum ba da da dum.

SPEAKER_04 30:04

Got it. So what a disaster award of the week. We started with kismet and ended with ordained. Um that's kind of a two for one.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Telling more about kismet.

SPEAKER_04 30:13

Kismet?

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Yeah. Um Should I get Kismet tattooed on me? What?

SPEAKER_04 30:18

Sure. Why not?

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

That's not the worst tattoo I've ever heard. Kismet?

SPEAKER_01 30:23

That's that's what I want to hear. Yeah. No, Kismet is uh it's just kind of a it's like a nice I give it a C. Yeah, it's a You should do it.

SPEAKER_04 30:31

Yeah, it's a noun.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Average, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

It's it's it again, it's like destiny or fate. If you got kismet or destiny or fate tattooed, that would all work.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

I like kismet better than fate. That's a much more fun word.

SPEAKER_04 30:46

Kismet is a more fun word.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

I also like that it has a tall letter, little letters, tall letter.

SPEAKER_04 30:53

Oh, god.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

I think and I love it, I love a cursive M in the middle. Okay, but only in the middle, and only one.

SPEAKER_04 31:01

So only the M is cursive?

SPEAKER_01 31:03

No, they're all cursive, but only like the M's in the middle. I only like the cursive M when it's a singular M and it's in the middle.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

How do you feel about the cursive S?

SPEAKER_01 31:13

Fine.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

Okay. I was just curious. Since it's like not really shaped like an S. Shaped like a little boat sail, you know?

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Yeah, that doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_04 31:22

I was just curious.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Does it how do you feel about it? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 31:24

It's such a specific vision and thoughts on how like every other part of the word was shaped. I was just curious your vibes on cursive S. I don't know if it's something people feel strongly about. I just thought you might have something to say about it.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

I don't got it.

SPEAKER_04 31:37

Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

I love a cursive capital L.

SPEAKER_04 31:42

Cap that well, that is a fun one.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah, it's my yeah, it's my favorite cursive letter.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

I actually hate the uh capital cursive M.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Capital cursive J also is meh. And you know what really is terrible? The worst capital letter? No.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

Okay. Um A.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

No.

SPEAKER_04 32:04

I hate the A.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

Just a big old loop, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:07

Yeah, there are a couple different ways you can do it, but yeah, but the big old one is lame. Yeah, okay. Um no, there's one that's exceptionally bad, like worse than all the rest.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

We have a kid whose name starts with it.

SPEAKER_04 32:22

K?

SPEAKER_01 32:23

No.

SPEAKER_04 32:24

G? Yes. You hate the G? It's so interesting. You like the L, but you like the G. I mean, it doesn't look like a G, and I feel like it's really hard to draw it well.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Yes, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_04 32:34

I do feel like anytime I've done a cursive capital G, they look kind of bad.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Yeah, they look bad every time. I'm terrible at it.

SPEAKER_04 32:42

Got it. Well, you're really good at writing, so not capital G's and cursive. If you can't do a capital G, then yeah, they might just be impossible.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Yep. That's I feel strongly about it.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

I guess anytime I've seen one, even if it's right, it doesn't look the best.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

No, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

I'm understanding, I'm picking up what you're laying down now.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Yeah, I stand by.

SPEAKER_04 32:58

I was like, R R makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

No, R and K's are fine.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

So anyway.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Okay, fair enough. Cursive talk. I mean kids don't even know cursive now, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:08

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

Are we even learning it?

SPEAKER_01 33:09

I don't think they learn it.

SPEAKER_04 33:10

I did hear something recently though that they're trying to make kids learn handwriting and stuff again. Because they basically can't you you don't have all kinds of like fine motor skill and it makes it hard to it's also just a good thing to know how to do. Yeah. Yeah, it turns out we shouldn't do everything on screens.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

No.

SPEAKER_04 33:31

I feel really bad for all the people that have been raised in like a certain window of time.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

Where we just were like trial and erroring all this technology.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

Technology. Yeah. Well, par for the course.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Do we have uh voicemails? Do we have some emails? Do we have some text messages? Yeah, I think we do side note while Matt is doing this.

A Secret Brand Win Tease

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Everybody that's listening, I need you to know that I got a call from a brand that I've been harassing for years and get to do something really exciting with them next week. So I guess one more podcast will come out before I'm leaving for it. And I will be posting content from this very exciting thing that is mostly exciting because of the brand that I'm going with.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

And I need everybody to cheer for me like they've never cheered for me in their life. Yeah. Because I really want to continue working with said brand. So I have to really win them over.

SPEAKER_04 34:33

Can you not disclose the brand?

SPEAKER_01 34:34

I probably could, but I don't know if I can. And so I'm scared.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

You want to make sure everything comes together or what?

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Yeah. I mean it should be together. I'm pretty sure everything's booked, but I I still haven't signed my uh paperwork yet. Got it. I haven't like received it to sign yet. Even though it's booked and proceeding, and so but you never know.

SPEAKER_04 34:55

That's true. But there's flights and hotels.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

In a couple weeks, you haven't seen anything about any brand on my page. Also send me condolences. You'll know though, when you see it, you'll go, oh. It'll make a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Yeah, you'll be like, what brand it is that you're excited about.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:13

All right, here's

Naked Parenting And Body Boundaries

SPEAKER_04 35:14

a text. Joe, after a long hiatus from TikTok, I saw your post about discussing your stretch marks with your daughter. In it, you owned being a naked mom before having kids. One of the things I was most bummed about having to be conscious of was not being naked around them anyway. And I never even considered a side of the world where naked moms were a thing. Can you talk more about this? You're not the first influencer I've seen discuss it. And as someone who is generally very body neutral and wants to instill in my children a positive, respectful relationship with their own bodies and the bodies of others, I'm curious about how to be more comfortable with this practice myself.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

I don't understand the thought process of why you think you need to be clothed around your children when they're little.

unknown 35:54

No.

SPEAKER_04 35:55

Uh I think it's people that feel like they need to be clothed around other people in general, and then they extend that to their children.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

Totally. Sure, I guess I think of children until they are a little bit older or such an extension of you, and they are learning how to engage with and operate their thought processes on their own bodies and their comfortability on their own bodies by watching what you do with yours. And if what you're doing all of the time is treating nakedness like it's something to be covered and it's something to be uh not necessarily self-conscious, but like aware of, it's then training their brains to be very aware of their nakedness. And so my mom was always naked around us, and I I follow a couple accounts that do sex education for kids, like that is their entire platform is talking about how to talk about sex and nudity and bodies and things like that with children. And there was recently a post that they did about when do my children need to stop bathing together. And their answer was something that I think really falls into the category of being a naked parent or naked mom around your kids, which is you want to respect the feelings of the most modest person in the room. So if you have a child that says they don't want to bathe with their sibling anymore or they want privacy, you then have to respect that boundary and give them privacy. And that's how it works. And so when your kids are little, they're not thinking about it. But maybe when our kids start school, they might come home and be like, well, mom, it's weird that you're walking around without your towel on after getting out of the shower. You should put some clothes on. In which case I'll know, hey, I'm gonna shower, you know, and I can communicate with my kids and say, I'm gonna put lotion on or I'm gonna be doing whatever. And so, you know, if you could give me some privacy, if that's more comfortable for you, etc. Uh, we that that's a way to teach children to respect boundaries and to respect how nakedness around them makes them feel and where they need to be, because everybody's different. And I also think that a lot of people I talk to have a really combined view of nudity and sexuality as being one thing, and it's just not a body's just a body, it is, and I think that teaching kids that bodies are just bodies is a really useful thing in making them feel more comfortable about their bodies, and then later in life giving them much healthier, hopefully, sex lives because they have more comfortability with their body just being a body.

SPEAKER_04 38:59

Does that all make sense? I'm basically just like listening and learning here because like it's not a strength of mine for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Well, and I think I was raised by a really incredible example in these regards. Like my mom really handled neutrality with her body beautifully growing up. Uh, and I never really felt shy about my body, but I also was raised to respect other people and you know their boundaries and things like that. I don't know. Yeah, I don't really think about it.

SPEAKER_04 39:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

When I found out other people's mom was just dressed all the time, like they were in a robe, they never saw them shower their mom shower, they never, you know, that blew my mind. Blew my mind. Yeah, that it also makes sense why some moms are really struggling in parenting when they're like, Oh, I never have a chance to shower, like I have a hard time getting away to go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

I'm like, oh, well, I guess if I was trying to never have my child see me or see my body, that would make it really hard.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

I don't know how you'd carry both of those things.

SPEAKER_04 40:18

I don't know. I um I tend to just follow your lead on that whole thing. You've got a much better developed sense of like what works and what doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

And I don't especially at our kids' age, I think they're a lot less locked in on the perception of bodies and everything than well, and I think that kids automatically have what their comfort levels are because I've been surprised we have some one kid that is much more like free to whatever, and we have another kid that is much more wants to be covered and dressed and modest, and uh that's not taught.

SPEAKER_04 41:00

No, you know, it's mostly been that way.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Yeah, we just respect what they want to do and we're mindful to follow through with that.

SPEAKER_04 41:08

Yeah, and it tends to be really specific what they want covered and not covered, and some things they don't care about at all, and some things they're like, yeah, I don't like how this is situated.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Right. And so I I think it's allowing people to become who they are and listen to their bodies and their comfort levels. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 41:27

And I think the less you focus on it, the less you make them continue to think about it. I agree. You let them experience what they're experiencing in that time, and maybe they work through it. Maybe it's something that just is the way it is. And but as long as you're not building it up to be this big thing, the less pressure you can add, especially in that department. I think the better long-term outcomes you're looking at. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

All right, what else? Let's hit one more.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

One more, one

Healthy Arguments When Kids Are Home

SPEAKER_04 41:53

more. Joan Matt, love the pod. I've recently taken a promotion to a director of marketing at a new winery opening up in my area. My husband is the manager of a bar restaurant and works late hours while I'm working early-ish and remote a lot. Our son is two and a half, and I feel like we're finally getting back to normal in our relationship. The only thing I feel like is the only time we have to fight or argue is while our son is awake, which has always been a big no for me personally growing up in an emotionally toxic house. I guess my question is when do you all find the time to have disagreements and how do you healthily do it around your kids? Thanks, guys. Keep it up.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Hmm. This is another one of those moments where I'm like, are we good at this?

SPEAKER_04 42:30

I first and foremost, our two oldest now go to preschool. Preschool.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:37

So they're large swaths during the day, and we work from home together. So we are together a lot. We are, and so we don't have the same restrictions in terms of like limited time together. Now, somehow we still manage to like not see each other for whole days at a time. That's true, but we don't have the time constraints of that.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

But I do feel like we argue in front of the kids. Not, I don't think we get loud or well, we don't really get loud when we're arguing, usually.

SPEAKER_04 43:04

No, if I'm getting loud, things have really gotten out of control.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Yeah. Matt's so dysregulated. It's and I don't have I ever gotten you? I can think of a time. No, I can think of maybe two ever where I've gotten loud.

SPEAKER_04 43:19

Yeah, and I don't think the kids were around.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

No, no, no, no, no, no. Gosh, no. Uh I was thinking two times ever that I yelled ever, ever.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

No.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

I don't really I tend to get scarily calm. The more mad I get, and that pisses me off. The more the more slow I talk and the softer I talk.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

And that really uh that doesn't work for either of us. You don't like it. What do you mean? I think it works for you.

SPEAKER_04 43:48

But it works fine for you. Yeah, it just really doesn't work for me.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

But I uh I don't mind to have disagreements in front of the kids or even to argue in front of the kids as long as they see us come to resolution about it. As long as we're respectfully hearing out one another.

SPEAKER_04 44:02

Yeah, I think it's more about respectfully reaching and making sure that they're not being pulled some direction or the other.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

And I think we talked about this on the podcast last week. But when it comes to having disagreements or arguing or fighting or whatever it is, I really focus on making sure I'm coming from the mindset of if Matt's bringing this to the table to talk about, then that means he's seeking a solution with me, not attacking me. And so I need to also be seeking a solution and listening so that we can resolve. That's the goal. There isn't a goal to win, there isn't a goal to justify, there isn't a goal to defend. The goal is to work together so that we both feel good.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

Yeah. And if you're really trying to fully avoid having the the complete argument or express all aspects of it, it's probably honestly a decent tool in terms of taking time to separate and work out what you're thinking and feeling and come together with it later.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:03

Like maybe you write it down and you you come to a functional agreement in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

The thing is, I don't know that I always have a great answer for things like this because it sounds like you're in a really specific situation where you're not getting a lot of time, just the two of you. And if there is a really serious something that is coming up time and time again, it may be something that you need to set aside an hour at midnight because that's the time that you all get together one night and just know that you're gonna stay up and talk about it one night. You know, obviously that's not an ideal solution most of the time.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

Or you're arranging child care to learn.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Or you're arranging child care to go on a date and talk about go have a fight. Yeah, to go talk about whatever.

SPEAKER_04 45:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Uh I don't know. That's that's tough.

SPEAKER_04 45:49

Yeah. It's so much of it is just a time issue. And if it is something that's recurring, you probably do just need to block out time. If it's individual day-to-day stuff, yeah, focus on keeping everything respectful, making sure that your kid isn't pulled into it or expected to weigh in on sides.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Absolutely not. I think that it's important for kids to see parents have disagreements, though. I think seeing healthy conflict resolution is a really good thing because life without conflict doesn't exist. Yeah. Like and we don't have fully cooked results on parenting, so we could be totally botching. So don't listen too closely. We don't know.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

Yeah. They may one day have their own podcast just talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

Literally is just them listening to each episode of our podcast and then talking about like I remember that.

SPEAKER_04 46:40

It was a disaster. Yeah. That was their parenting win. Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 46:45

Kind of love if they had a podcast together, though.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

That the kids like each other enough to have a podcast together. Yeah, that'd be cool.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

Yeah. Like that'd be kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Yeah. Love that for them that they're buddies.

SPEAKER_04 46:56

What a ridiculous world that would be.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 46:59

Just individually, I'd watch that.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

On that note,

Closing Thanks And Ways To Reach Us

SPEAKER_01 47:02

yeah. Rate, review. Send us an email. Send us a voicemail. All the things. We love you. Bye.