Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Episodes available monthly with a weekly option available via Patreon if you're looking for more!
Oversharing with the Overbys
Parenting Hot Takes and Misaligned Star Charts
We jump right into the Chapel Roan controversy, offering nuanced perspectives on her viral parenting comments while sharing our own experiences as content creators balancing family life and work. They explore how cultural context and systemic failures make parenting harder than it needs to be, not the children themselves. Join us as we:
• Discus greenhouse dreams and how life's priorities shift when raising young children
• Examine family planning and the realities of pregnancy versus postpartum experiences
• Break down the Chapel Roan controversy and why her comments about friends with children "being in hell" resonated
• Share our spring break without childcare and how we managed expectations
• Offer hot takes on parenting, including why parenting itself isn't inherently difficult but lacks proper support systems
• Challenge the idea that love between parents and children should be equally unconditional
• Laugh about their astrological incompatibility despite our long term relationship
Join our Patreon to be the first to hear baby news and updates as we head into our brief break before welcoming our third child!
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:What do people think of my dying hydrangeas?
Speaker 2:Um. Those have been around forever.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, we've had them since February.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say, say these.
Speaker 1:I got rid of the ones that weren't. But do you see that in the water it's like propagating itself? It's growing new little hydrangea plants down there?
Speaker 2:Oh, I was noticing the mold.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know there's definitely mold Like they need to be thrown away.
Speaker 2:But it's making new ones too. Yeah, that's cool, that's fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my bad, but didn't uh, didn't have the I had been swapping out the water and doing a nice job.
Speaker 2:Look at all the little gnats in there. Gross, we've got a little habitat they're not alive.
Speaker 1:Maybe they're not gnats, maybe that's just seeds actually yeah they looked like little wings and I was like why I rare something that I will say about me being such a plant person. I rarely see fruit flies or gnats or bugs in our house that you associate with having plants.
Speaker 2:Well, I think anything we've ever gotten that has bugs goes outside. Oh, yeah, and then it is treated and will either live or die Right.
Speaker 1:But a lot of people deal with fruit flies and things like little gnats and stuff is that like a certain kind of plant? No, it can happen. It's because of the soil, and like what moisture and like it's not I didn't know if they were like attracted like I'm sure that there are plants that can attract like an indoor fruit tree, I guess. Yeah, well, that's what happened to my mom and dad got me a lemon tree and it died immediately yeah.
Speaker 1:I put it outside for the summer because it does well outside and it got bugs yeah, that makes sense that was really sad it was, but. I'm not in a place where I'm prepared for people to buy me um exotic not that that's like crazy exotic, but can you grow a lemon tree here? Yeah, absolutely indoors, yeah oh okay, indoors and it'll produce fruit. It's not gonna be. We can't plant a lemon tree outside no we could put them in pots and put them like on rollers. I've thought about doing this with some oh, okay fruit and things like.
Speaker 1:If we do a greenhouse, eventually we could put them on rolling containers and you bring them outside during the warm months and then in the winter you take them inside because they just can't do the freezing.
Speaker 2:No, I was going to say like people have lemon trees in Arizona, where my family is, but we have to heat our greenhouse and stuff, which is, if we ever do that like, that's what I would. Okay.
Speaker 1:I'd want to like, if we're going to do it, I want to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, Okay, fair enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You have to heat greenhouses.
Speaker 1:No, not like not. It depends on what kind of plants you're doing.
Speaker 2:It depends on, like, if you want it to like, stay tropical in there or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like it depends on what you're trying to do with it, that makes sense. And there are a lot of people don't like a lot of times just keeping it protected from wind and frost and you know well and like, they're made out of glass usually so like they heat up right some, but I didn't know it really depends on what you're trying to do.
Speaker 1:From my, I've only done brief, brief research on things good enough a lot of times, in where we are in the country too, people will do like a buried greenhouse, not, no, no, I shouldn't say, people will often do that. But that was like old school. A common thing to do is like they would dig down into the ground like four feet and then like a massive hole and then steps down and then do glass for the remaining four feet of wall and glass top and that helps with the temperature because it's down in the ground sure instead
Speaker 1:of cuts down how much glass you need for sure and it's like a I shouldn't have said like a little prairie dog habitat yeah, I shouldn't have said that's common, because it's not that people do that commonly now, but that was like a gotcha older strategy do people do big ones that way, like, okay, that sounds kind of cool yeah, it is cool and like less material as long as you can dig a giant hole right that's challenging for sure
Speaker 1:but, well, and greenhouses don't have to be massive. No, it can be six by eight, like it can be a small.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just feel like you're going to like build a commercial greenhouse here or something.
Speaker 1:I don't know about commercial, but I really love plants and I would love to be able to dedicate more time to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we keep having kids.
Speaker 1:But we keep having kids, and intentionally, like I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, it's not like ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not an accident, just well, I just I have a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that I want to pursue, but I want to be able to really give it my focus and obviously my number one priority right now is my kids being little.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean like we had a we had a strategy when it came to dogs like that we had. They we came up with like six years ago and I think that we'll still go with that once uh but the kid years have interrupted that.
Speaker 2:Our our plan was that every five to six years we would get a puppy, a puppy, and that way we would never have more than three dogs. Most likely, but very unlikely, they would have less than two, so they would never be alone, but we would never have four or five dogs.
Speaker 1:But we also had kids earlier than the conversation had been True, because when Matt and I started talking about that, so when we had our strategy discussion about the pets, matt and I started talking about that, so when we had our strategy discussion about the pets, it was we were going to get one more puppy before we started having kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'd be starting kids like.
Speaker 1:Now, now Is what we discussed, like when we got married, when we got together, we were 31-ish is when we were talking kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We were not like on a hard timeline, clearly.
Speaker 2:Clearly not. We were not like on a hard timeline?
Speaker 1:Clearly, clearly not. We wanted to get past 30 and some things happened that, like we made the choice to start earlier.
Speaker 2:And here we are.
Speaker 1:And here we are.
Speaker 2:I mean just on the precipice of a third kid. Yeah, so exciting times.
Speaker 1:I was always of the mindset that if I had the privilege of like getting pregnant easily and like all of those circumstances, though that I wanted to knock it out. Yeah, even though all research shows you should ideally give yourself two years between pregnancies, so like minimum kids should really be about three years apart for women to really fully.
Speaker 2:For the women, though not for kids. Where is there? There?
Speaker 1:really isn't there's no. There isn't good study on an ideal age gap for kids because there are too many extenuating circumstances Like um, what am I trying to say?
Speaker 2:Extenuating circumstances.
Speaker 1:And yeah, but that's not the right phrasing. What would that be Like? You can't control Variables.
Speaker 2:Too many variables.
Speaker 1:You can't control any variables and it's dependent on so many different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes sense. Like yeah, It'd be hard to study with any level of control Right. Because you can't have yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I think any of it can be done well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it just depends on what you're up to and you can compare it being done well to someone doing it poorly with a different age.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then, even then, something can happen.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:There can be random acts of whatever, but okay. I wanted my kids close together, like that was something I really, At this point you're just trying to like stop being pregnant.
Speaker 1:I hate being pregnant and I have had. I mean again, let's obviously leave room for different experiences to happen in the future, but I've had really good postpartum periods and I come out of pregnancy Like we're in to go feeling, feeling good, which I think is abnormal and grateful that we've been able to get pregnant and, like had that experience as well.
Speaker 2:Like just to be so clear, but the experience of being pregnant is not fun no well, and I feel like so many of my friends.
Speaker 1:the really hard part for them has been postpartum and the adjusting to another kid, and the really hard part for me has been pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Do you think that's because once we have a kid, they're real to me?
Speaker 1:Um, no, I don't think it's that specifically, but I was going to credit that. The reason one physically, my postpartums are very easy compared to a lot of women like I have because you have a stay-at-home parent with you no, I, I think that's just my body okay well, yes, you, you do recover really well from pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I'm saying, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that I already have that privilege sure on, but even exactly, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm standing by that the whole time because anything can happen.
Speaker 1:But then on top of that and I think this is where the whole I don't know what you have on your outline for today, but I want to talk about Chapel Row, I want to talk about chapel row. Um, I want to talk about the chapel row and comment and that whole uh interview. Have you watched the interview?
Speaker 2:I haven't watched the interview. I've. I've watched a little bit of the clip like that you've shown me.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I was going to ask if you had any like hot takes. You didn't think are actually hot takes today.
Speaker 1:Really Okay. Well, that's good to know, but I bring up the chapel Roan um controversy because I think that even if you are a mom who has the privilege of getting pregnant easily or having an easy pregnancy, or having an easy postpartum recovery, whatever like so let's say you're already set aside, like set ahead, with all of those things On top of that, moms who have active and equal partners are in a. They're playing a completely different game, Sure, and so few moms I know are parenting with equal and hardworking partners.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for a variety of circumstances, like sometimes it's availability, sometimes it's willingness, like it's all over the map, but it is not common for sure.
Speaker 1:I know almost like I don't really know very many that I think of as equitable in any capacity.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I I think that you make it a lot easier for me. Oh, like, I don't think you do Like I'm able to do everything that I do, cause people are always like how are you juggling all that? How are you. Well, Matt.
Speaker 2:Well, again and you get. You get tagged with the misnomer of being a stay at home parent and you are a working parent that works from home.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:In a job that doesn't look like a traditional job. Right, that's a lot of times the difference, cause people often say that, cause they're like, wow, you just like share your life, and they're like well, the job is social media, so it is my work, and I can only do my work to the level I do, especially not sharing the kids.
Speaker 1:I got asked this week too, on weekend chat. Somebody said you know, you always seem like you're being like productive and you're motivated and you're always working on stuff Like um, how do you do that? And I said I wanted to. I try not to always go back to like where I'm saying perspective, guys, perspective, but I wanted to because I'm like my job is to show you guys the things I'm doing, because I'm like my job is to show you guys the things I'm doing. It's not interesting to follow somebody online, not that I ever want to be dishonest or disingenuous.
Speaker 1:I try to be very honest when we're having very chill days or this or that, but there's not a lot to document when we sit on a couch for a whole afternoon, which we absolutely do, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I post, it's a common weekend activity for us on TikTok.
Speaker 1:I post two to three videos a day, which means you're getting anywhere from three to five minutes of total edited footage of my day and then I document through stories and things like that. And obviously doing that takes a lot of time, it takes effort, it takes strategy, but you're also only seeing like even people who pump out a ton of content you're getting three to five total minutes of footage right Like yeah that really needs to be taken into consideration.
Speaker 2:And again, you're not sharing parenting stuff, right, so it's not like you can just have all the time with the kids or without, like whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like that's all woven in the day too, right, so it's a whole thing.
Speaker 1:But Anyway, I just thought that was, um, I wanted to know your thoughts, okay. So I'm going to kind of, um, I wanted to know your thoughts, okay. So I'm going to kind of take it back to the chapel Roan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should probably preface what the chapel Roan.
Speaker 1:So if you missed it, this last week or the week before, I don't know. In recent time, an interview with chapel Roan has come out on call her daddy, where she is talking about parents and she's talking about the parents in her life that she knows. All seem like they're in hell and miserable, and she does. I have seen a clip from the interview now surfacing like going around on. I haven't watched or listened to the whole podcast episode. I don't care to very much Not for any kind of.
Speaker 2:It's not against the podcast, it's not against Chapel Roan, but like also, like I don't. I don't need Chapel Roan's parenting.
Speaker 1:And I don't even think it's about parents. No, anyway, that's just not like the information I'm seeking out.
Speaker 2:I get stuck there a little bit. I'm like, does it matter what Chapel Roan has to say about parenting?
Speaker 1:It's definitely not what the podcast episode is about. No, absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's like I don't know that I care what Taylor Swift has to say about parenting. I don't care what, like, bubba Sparks has to say about parenting. I really don't like it, just doesn't like that. That's not where I'm going for parenting. Like again, we're talking about entertainers.
Speaker 1:Right, but what I was getting at? She says that her friends, that she knows that are her age and she, she gives all of these.
Speaker 2:And she's 25.
Speaker 1:I think she's 27 or 28. Okay, I think she's late twenties.
Speaker 2:Late twenties.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Uh, I'm not. We can look it up. I'm not sure that could be wrong.
Speaker 2:That's fair. We should probably do that she's 27 27 all right, she just turned 27 though great in february, so a fresh 27 um.
Speaker 1:So that's like that borderline of mid to late and she she said all of her friends with children five and under. So let's say she has friends that are her age and she says that are her age yeah they have children that are five. That means they became parents when they were 22 and she gives all of these disclaimers even if your grandfather or men say they're a couple years older.
Speaker 2:I that they got.
Speaker 1:They became parents under 25 yeah, and I again don't agree necessarily with how she says things, often in ways that are really abrasive. But, like I think I'm just not super inclined to get very worked up about other people's opinions.
Speaker 2:Well, and when people are speaking in generalities, it is not a personal like I know people will take things personally, but it wasn't personal.
Speaker 1:No, and it didn't feel personal and a lot of people have been defensive of her friends, have been like well, it would hurt my feelings so much if I'd tried to confide in her and she'd gone on a podcast and talked about me that way and when really I was just having a bad day and I made the statement to people I'm from where chapel Matt and I are from where Chapel Run grew up.
Speaker 1:We are just a few years older than her. It is a completely like. I think that middle America culture is so misunderstood and like, even though there are so many people in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, stood and like even though there are so many people in it. Yeah, I think people don't realize she is from a place where a large portion of people are raised in conservative religion. They are told to be fulfilled is to get married young, to be of service to this world is to have children, and those are the things to be literally of service to their partner right, yeah, um, to be done right, and there isn't a lot of critical thinking and thought into what actually makes them happy yeah um, because they know what's going to make them happy, because they have been told from day one what is right and what is wrong and if it doesn't go according to plan, that's on them that's on them like yeah and so you have this entire group of young parents.
Speaker 1:so you have that nuance, then you also have we're living in a time where things are politically volatile. There's no health care, there's no access to child care in any kind of reasonable fashion or subsidized fashion.
Speaker 2:With the caveat of affordability.
Speaker 1:Right right, right right.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you, being a parent and affluent way easier, much easier, way easier, even if you don't have a village.
Speaker 1:You can, being a parent and affluent way easier, way easier.
Speaker 2:Even if you don't have a village, you can hire a village.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's what it comes down to. Yeah, that's why we're able to enjoy parenting.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Like think about it and anyway. So I'm taking in what she says and I'm like, yeah, Her friends that are parents to kids under five in southwest Missouri that she grew up with yeah, they're probably pretty miserable right now doesn't mean they don't love their kids.
Speaker 2:Her friends who are 25 and don't have kids probably still have trouble with affording things. Yeah, like that's just a reality, and having kids makes that more difficult. Having kids means not only can you not afford things for yourself, you're having difficulty affording things for people you are responsible to.
Speaker 1:Right. Um and I personally that sucks. I think where people are getting it mixed up is they're thinking they're focusing on that being a conversation about the kids and they're focusing on defending the choice to become a parent and children, and I don't think that's the conversation here. I don't think those parents that are miserable, don't love their kids or don't love being a parent.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I think they don't love our culture. I don't think they don't. I think that they don't love where they are situationally and maybe the lack of support and community.
Speaker 2:They don't like struggling.
Speaker 1:Exactly yeah, but I don't think that's the kids' fault.
Speaker 2:No, uh-uh, like it's just a reality, the system we've built. And again, if you want to be like, well, if I was one of her friends, I would be really offended, leave that up to her friends, totally. Like her friends may have a position to be like, hey, I just was having a bad day, like I feel like you really misrepresented us, but I would guess that her friends know her better than that, in which case, like, you don't have to put yourself in these like convoluted positions so that you get to feel offended by that.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what I was thinking too, and like included in that story as. Well, that's what I was thinking too, and like included in that story as much as like it did give me an icky feeling. It was pretty on par with what I've seen of her in interviews and her personality and everything.
Speaker 2:She was being honest and I'm not sure she was being blunt. She wasn't necessarily like giving a full, informed, nuanced opinion, but that's again, not her job.
Speaker 1:And they show. There was a clip that I've been seeing going around now about from later in the podcast, when the interviewer says well, earlier you said your friend, your friends have kids are in hell. And she responds she goes yeah, but my friends that are, um, my friends are in hell because they love their kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she makes that statement and I'm like well, that gives a lot of context right again, they are struggling to try and do their best to provide for kids that they love hard that they feel fulfilled by and especially now.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Anyway, it's just been really interesting seeing all of the feedback on it. I've seen a lot of people talking about an interview I guess Seth Rogen did last year, where he said almost word for word the same kind of thing about his friends that are kids and they're like. Nobody talked about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a conversation at all. No one cared that he said that.
Speaker 2:What's hilarious is Seth is what? Is he? 50? I have no idea. 40s?
Speaker 1:I can look that up too.
Speaker 2:Like here I'll look up how old he is, but that's more of a conversation when you're talking about who Seth Rogen would be friends with Right, like you're talking about people probably in their 40s.
Speaker 1:I have. No, I don't know anything about him.
Speaker 2:In LA, Like yeah.
Speaker 1:But I just also thought that was interesting that people bringing up the 42.
Speaker 2:I wronged them a little bit saying it was 50.
Speaker 1:I just thought that was an interesting point because, I agree, I feel like we're focusing on the wrong things. I do think culturally there's an issue. I do think that systemically there is an issue. You know, I don't love how it was highlighted, obviously.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I also don't know that. I feel it's Chapel Roan's job.
Speaker 2:Why is she being asked that question?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think she volunteered some of that information.
Speaker 1:I have no idea what the question is People and peers.
Speaker 2:Again, I don't know the line I'm questioning. It's just like if you ask that question of Chapel Roan, what are you hoping to hear out of it?
Speaker 1:Right, I that question of chapel roan. What are you hoping to hear out of it? Right?
Speaker 2:I don't even know that it was a question. I don't know anything, or like what. Yeah, it's just, but I hear you you cannot like something that was said and also be like this came from somebody that shouldn't be the person that I'm looking to for this.
Speaker 1:I also think I'm struggling a little bit like. What's come out of it is a lot of moms posting how fulfilled they are in motherhood and posting like montages of positive moments with their kids, etc, etc. And I don't think that it's wrong for moms to celebrate that. I'm all for that, but I also am. It feels a little, uh, this might be strong but gaslighty of like no, it's beautiful, and it's this and it's that, and, and I'm like hey, guys.
Speaker 1:But is you being able to experience parenthood like that because of the resources you have, or is it that good of experience for anybody navigating it right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I think we need to be coming together and being like hey, like no, it can be really hard, and it is hard because we're not taking care of parents.
Speaker 2:You see it in declining birth rates and all this stuff. Like that's all real and it's not for no reason at all. No, it's because people can't afford kids.
Speaker 1:And I don't think it's because of kids.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Like, I think that's the the, the thing that people are trying to fight.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That they're like no, kids are wonderful. I'm like I don't think people are really making any kind of statement.
Speaker 2:Kids these days suck. I don't want to have one of my own.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's a common Well, that's a whole nother conversation about people saying they like kids, they don't like kids and being like well, they're not an object Like pre-baked, like the for the default firmware on kids these days is terrible. Yeah, like well, you're like mostly responsible for that, right like you are the programming.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you do all of that and so like just think about it a little bit so anyway, I just thought that was interesting yeah, yeah, that is any updates on the week or anything that you want to make sure that we we touch on man updates from the week.
Speaker 2:I have a terrible relationship with time. That's going to be just earth shattering for most people listening what has happened this week we had no child. Yeah, we had we had spring break, which like opposite of spring break for us yeah, so our child care was uh unavailable, which was fine we had.
Speaker 2:We actually had a really good week, like we went into it. Now, some of it was managing expectations going in, being like we aren't going to be super productive this week. We aren't going to like have all the time in the world. Well and I'll, I'll set the scene.
Speaker 1:You know we are coming to the end of this pregnancy. We have a lot to do for work. We have a lot of collaborations coming up that I'm really excited about. We have a lot of things to film, um. We have podcasts that we've been trying to stay up on. We've just had a lot of moving parts in these last couple weeks, plus getting the house ready, and we live away from family, so having a baby means that we host a lot, so we're trying to get the guest room ready and et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2:You know all the things that you do All the laundry. Yeah, when you are about to have a baby, finding all of our baby stuff, that we've packed away.
Speaker 1:It was just maybe not the most ideal timing for spring break.
Speaker 2:No Spring break would have been a lot better November.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That would have been a nice time for spring break for us. Very doable, or? Even after he was born I think would have been yeah, early summer break, which is just summer, yeah, yeah, that would have been ideal for us.
Speaker 1:But it was really good we got spring baby and spring break I will say the ideal thing about it is we only have so many more weeks of just us and two kids, and so it was really nice getting lots of quality time. I got to do one-on-one things with each child I got to really invest and spend time and I, like, I really appreciated and valued getting to do that yeah, just like there was a real fear.
Speaker 2:For me personally, at least by Thursday, Friday we were going to be running ragged.
Speaker 1:I was worried about you as a parent more than I was worried about me as a parent.
Speaker 2:I was worried about me overall, because your only task like was not that you don't have other things to do.
Speaker 1:That's not what I mean.
Speaker 2:your only task, like, was not that you don't have other things to do.
Speaker 1:That's not what I mean, but your main task for the week was parenting, which means, like I knew, that your patience with parenting was going to be a lot more depleted than mine.
Speaker 2:And it starts slower than yours anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well that I wasn't going to bring that up, no but it's like.
Speaker 2:The just reality of it is like you are a more patient person, like even in pregnancy, which is your least patient time. I would say you're at an all-time low for patients right now but I still feel like I'm pretty patient you're probably still exceeding me in patients yeah, I was. I was about to say I think I'm like you're used to unlimited I'm used to a very high ceiling of patients and I'm getting like a medium level of patients right now.
Speaker 1:You You're used to no ceiling and I think just having a ceiling is really hard for you, I feel contained. It's interesting because it's that way with me being angry too.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Is you're used to no floor. Is that right yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, very low ceiling.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Of anger. And there's a much higher ceiling of anger now, yeah, and it's still not that you're still not like yeah, just like, just me. I'm used to like how our normal interactions go and now you're like pisses me off and I'm like whoa you're like, I don't like that uh-ohoh, because I am sensitive.
Speaker 1:You are sensitive, but that's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's just navigating it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But anyway we just have a normal balance, and we're not on a normal balance right now. All I was saying is hey we didn't start the podcast with critiques of Matt, so that was cool.
Speaker 1:I don't have anything to critique about Matt.
Speaker 2:Flawless.
Speaker 1:Flawless, flawless week. Matt rocked it. That's not even true. That's what I was getting at, though, is you were coming into it with a hundred percent of your energy was going to parenting this week, whereas mine needed to be split 50, 50 work and parenting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just like I thought we did a pretty good job getting a few things done, like you were able to still make content.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was concerned that, like by the end of the week, it was either going to be like you've had to abandon all work, well, and not only that, we had my parents with us for a good portion of the time and my best friend. Yeah, almost half of it, yeah.
Speaker 1:And my best friend came to town For a few days. She had to work and photograph a rehearsal dinner and a wedding over the second weekend of spring break and she has a three-month-old.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And her original plan had been to have our sitter that we both know to watch her son while our sitter was on spring break. Yeah, so toward the end of this spring break was a evening where we had my family, like my parents, our kids and I was watching a three-month-old yeah, and I'm pregnant and you're very pregnant followed by the next day.
Speaker 1:The only thing I'd wanted to do over spring break with the kids was go, because the farmer's market opened. I really wanted to go, and so all of us packed up and went to the farmer's market, which was great, we had a good time we squeezed everybody in the new car yeah, and then I did a nine hour babysitting shift with both of our kids and we made it, and we did it.
Speaker 2:It was like pretty good.
Speaker 1:I don't really really smooth it was very smooth which again not totally expected no, that was good, so anyway yeah just, we're happy to have chloe back yeah, we made it but it was. I feel like the whole week was good.
Speaker 2:I thought about coordinating the kids to chant her name when she made it back yeah, matt really did want to get a chant going that when she walked in on day one, the kids were just going chloe, chloe more people, like a tunnel or yeah, stream or something.
Speaker 1:I don't have enough kids for a tunnel yet.
Speaker 2:No, we don't. They're also not tall.
Speaker 1:Not yet no.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're tall for their age, but they're, you know.
Speaker 1:It's going to be hard to run through the tunnel. Three feet tops, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's more of a crawl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyway.
Speaker 2:But, yeah. Surviving.
Speaker 1:No, uh, surviving. No, it went really well. I was really I was impressed with you. I thought that you navigated everything really well thanks.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I nailed that, but like that was, that was good. Definitely probably not the week to bring back bad dad mean mom then. So like we yeah, uh, we completely forgot about bad dad mean mom somebody told like we've talked multiple times about bringing it back and then every week I forget to even mention it and then I sit down to like put everything up and I'm like didn't talk about it again.
Speaker 1:I genuinely I don't have anything.
Speaker 2:I'd like to grade us on a curve anyway, so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really, I'm really proud of us. The last few weeks, yeah, I think we've been in a really good groove and I don't think we need to look for ways that we're not nailing it in that, because that will come.
Speaker 2:It does exist.
Speaker 1:We will not nail it again, not to say that it's been a flawless parenting streak. No.
Speaker 2:Patience wears thin on a daily basis but graded especially on the curve, we've done well. Oh, I have mean mom mean mom, oh, okay I oh, I remember mean mom yeah I do have one.
Speaker 1:I thought we were going to the hospital I also.
Speaker 2:I thought, maybe the dentist.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I thought. I thought that I had irreversibly changed the trajectory of our son's life at least his face uh, my, my, oh my okay uh, so r was wearing pants that had a low rise on them.
Speaker 2:They're just a little bit too small.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you discover your kids' clothes are too small after you put them on and see them wearing them around and you're like those don't fit, oops.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they weren't like crazy too small it was just like when we take these off, we're going to.
Speaker 2:Again, it was like a super low rise pair of toddler pants. Yeah, which is not how you want toddler pants. No Like they wear diapers. They need a high rise.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They have to go all the way over the butt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I didn't know they were too small because on the legs they didn't look too small.
Speaker 2:other than the waistband's elastic.
Speaker 1:It fits like they're probably comfortable it just looked like they were falling down and they were they were too small, didn't?
Speaker 2:look like they were falling down.
Speaker 1:They were falling down, I know yeah but?
Speaker 2:but that's the context.
Speaker 1:Yes, they appeared to be I guess earlier in the day, when I'd not been there, matt had discovered this when he tried to give him a little tug up and he had thrown um he.
Speaker 2:He pulled our legs right out from under him when when the rise is too short and you go to raise the pants, you just take the feet off the ground, at which point you're holding a kid by the waistband, and then they just swing around because their center of gravity is way higher than the waistband of their pants. Um yeah, so I learned that on carpet, but you and not finally, I learned that on concrete. Yes, you learned that with him on concrete.
Speaker 1:On like a corner of the concrete. And the noise I heard was a noise I will never unhear, and I don't think I've ever been in fight or flight quite that way as a parent.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I think it was the most extreme. I mean, I was, matt saw it from the front, I was obviously behind him.
Speaker 2:I was just waiting for the reaction. Like I saw it happen, I thought he smoked all of his teeth on the corner and I thought it hit him higher than his teeth. So I'm expecting like staples you thought, yeah, you thought he'd split his forehead open and was like possibly, concussed, broke his nose like it was really stressful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought we were going to the hospital. We didn't have to go to the hospital he didn't.
Speaker 2:He wasn't even bleeding. I don't like I'm still not sure. Like it was an optical illusion, did he like hit his chest?
Speaker 1:I don't understand the sound. It was definitely his face yeah, I don't know he didn't even get a red mark or a bump or and he's very. He is our prone to injury, boy he's a risk taker, yeah yeah, we we definitely have had. Normally, when we bonk, you can see where we've bonked, and that was no shortage of bonkage.
Speaker 2:He also has a flair for drama. He's willing to.
Speaker 1:But he didn't.
Speaker 2:No, I know he made no reaction, really no he was fine. He's like ooh.
Speaker 1:I think he, I think I scared him by how I reacted. Probably tenfold, which I don't normally react.
Speaker 2:I'm normally very good, like we had a strength of ours usually is to be like okay, let's see where we're at.
Speaker 1:We had a pretty big tumble at the park this week. And um, we were both you. You were more, uh, elevated, you were calm, you handled it fine, but you were even more elevated than I. Was about it Because you didn't see the difference.
Speaker 2:I only saw him fall I watched the entire from. I watched the entirety of the crash and so I wasn't, as I literally stopped watching, because I it was like oh, he's got it, yeah, and I was like oh, he fell yeah he it?
Speaker 1:yeah, I looked away and I was like oh, he fell, yeah, he did.
Speaker 2:Whoa, he fell far, yeah, um, but it's laying on his feet.
Speaker 1:Cat like but he didn't like the experience no, and I were really big about them learning, but anyway, this was not a fall this wasn't a learning experience.
Speaker 2:he didn't learn to not get his pants pulled up. Mom curbstomped him a little bit. Yeah, I thought he was going to be missing four teeth minimum. I thought he was just going to have nothing in the middle.
Speaker 1:I looked in his mouth after you said that because I was thinking maybe his teeth got pushed up into his gums. Oh, yeah. Because that can happen too. There was no signs of anything. It's like he bounced off or like that that part of the concrete was like hollow. I don't know. It still makes no sense, but it's mind-boggling I think I get a mean mom medal for that one yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that one was tough I'm so glad he's okay.
Speaker 1:yeah, I had nightmares about it that night, like it was that bad.
Speaker 2:Again in the moment we were so confused, still confused.
Speaker 1:I'm still confused. It was crazy. I'm really grateful, but I feel strongly, yeah. What do we have for Greg's reads?
Speaker 2:Greg's reads we should read. We never got to my question.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:Let's go ahead and get to it. Do you have any hot takes that you don't think should be hot takes?
Speaker 1:um universal health care oh, okay, yeah does that count?
Speaker 2:sure, sure, sure, I might, I can give you mine oh, okay, I was thinking and we've talked some about this before, but just like the idea that, um, you know, unconditional love really should only work one way, like I don't think kids should have unconditional love for their parents I also think that that is how it works what I do think that unconditional.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think it ever works for a kid to a parent no, but I also don't think it's supposed to work that way. No, I agree.
Speaker 2:I don't think a child's love for their parents should be unconditional.
Speaker 1:Do you think that's a hot take?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think a lot of people believe in like family across the board, unconditional love, and there is this like you should love your family, they are like your tribe or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but truly unconditional is wild for a child to a parent because that's not an unconditional.
Speaker 1:Their existence is not. I feel like most parents that expect that do not. I think inherently by expecting that you're not unconditionally loving your child right yeah like I think that automatically breaks the system.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the unconditionality should also include like the downsides of that, like not an obligation. Yeah, just, I've had that thought before and like I had that as a clear, concise, all-in-one thought and I was like I think that would be an unpopular take.
Speaker 1:I think one of my hottest takes is that parenting is not that hard.
Speaker 2:Ah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which that like really triggers people.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:And I understand, because it is a very hot statement, but I think what's hard is the culture we do it in and the lack of resources we have. I don't think it's the parenting part that's hard. Yeah, I think that all of that nuance and all that stuff contributes to it being difficult, but I think that if people had access to all the resources they need, there are hard parts, don't get me wrong. There will always be hard parts.
Speaker 2:I agree with that.
Speaker 1:I think overall it is our lack of support and culture and all kinds of things that way, long before it is the act of parenting. Yeah act of parenting? Yeah, because I think that parenting and children is like a very natural.
Speaker 2:You're made to do it, yeah, kind of thing basically, parenting isn't hard in the right, in a supportive environment, right and with the right mindset.
Speaker 1:Right, some of the environment is you, but right yeah and I think tons of people are in terrible situations and it does make it really hard. But I don't think I stand by. I don't think it's the parenting, I don't think it's the kids. Yeah, I think it's that you've had the misfortune of being in a really hard situation, like I have had times that parenting is really hard, but it's never the parenting part, like when I dig into it I'm like why was that so hard?
Speaker 2:it's almost never something's triggering for me. I'm not well regulated like I didn't have help in a in a situation where I could have really used it. I was overextended, I was yeah, I put my kid in a no-win like position, whatever it is yeah, but like never have I had it where it's like I did everything right and yeah, and I had all the support.
Speaker 1:I got bad results and or that I feel um, it was my kid that made it really hard, or yeah. I mean like I just don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even when it's like wow, they're really doing, it's like where did they learn it from? What has, like, pushed them to that point?
Speaker 1:And in times that I've seen this discussed, there are always people in comment sections being like well, my child is medically complex and this and that, and I'm like exactly that's not the parenting that's. Your situation is difficult which means they have even more needs right that are even more difficult or expensive to attain to me that says that the medic, medical complexities are what are making it hard, not the parenting part, does that?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's not a failure, or maybe I'm like separating things that can't be separated.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Yeah, it's like, I mean it's not a failure of your parenting, or maybe I'm like separating things that can't be separated, I don't know. Yeah, it's like. It's kind of like parenting in a vacuum, right?
Speaker 2:Which.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:You can't breathe in a vacuum.
Speaker 1:Fun fact so it's going to be pretty hard to parent.
Speaker 2:Yep, well, it is and it isn't.
Speaker 1:You know very short.
Speaker 2:That's so funny, funny. But yeah, again, parenting in a vacuum easy anyway well clip both of those.
Speaker 1:See how it goes online oh no, I don't want people's feedback, but I would say that's like one of my really hot takes yeah, yeah, yeah um so some parenting hot takes for the end of the pregnancy here yeah, this will be our last public episode before. Maybe yeah, well, I struggle with hot takes because I think everything's so nuanced yeah and like that's where people get really angry.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't yeah, and sometimes the nuance is like stepping back from these widely accepted black and white. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why. I said sometimes the new, like that's all nuance, that is, the definition of nuance, is less black and white. Yeah, okay, got it great smart. Yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 1:I said sometimes the nuance, that's all nuance. I don't know what the hell that was. That's the definition of nuance.
Speaker 2:Nuance is less black and white. Yeah, okay, got it. Great Smart. I'm a little bit tired, guys.
Speaker 1:I haven't talked about this, he's a brilliant dude Decided not to complain about it on the podcast.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I did not sleep well.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:You know we've had some child sleeping ups and downs. She had some feelings, got her to sleep, woke up again, came to our room Toddler I was asleep. It's great, glad, good for you, because you don't bounce back Until you just said that Forgot, I forgot that't bounce back Until you just said that Forgot.
Speaker 1:I forgot that you were not in our room.
Speaker 2:For a large portion of the night.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 1:Sorry.
Speaker 2:Totally fine.
Speaker 1:I don't even know why. I asked Because to me we went to bed at 11.15 and I was like great.
Speaker 2:I started in bed at 11.15. Bounced back and forth till 2 30 ish. I'm so sorry that I have not checked on you today.
Speaker 1:That's all right. No, you didn't know. No, I literally, now that you're saying that it's coming back to me, because I, I did wake up, but I was, I, I slept, you were out out.
Speaker 2:I have been sleeping hard you either have or you haven't no, but like for the last some nights we're like not at all, and then you've had some night. If you do sleep, you're dead yeah, yeah, like I'm, I'm out yeah so I feel like I'm either awake or asleep. There's not been a lot of like no good sleep and you're normally like a kind of in between, not a light sleeper, but like a yeah. You wake up if something happens.
Speaker 1:Not right now.
Speaker 2:No, no, or if you do, you don't remember it.
Speaker 1:Nope, I didn't.
Speaker 2:So we'll do. Greg's Reads. Greg, your dad reads news, sends us news articles. We read the headlines, sometimes the articles, and then we rate those article titles on this podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell you how much anxiety they give us.
Speaker 2:yeah so number one why it's important to have high self-esteem.
Speaker 1:One to five uh, one out of five.
Speaker 2:That doesn't give me anxiety that's like a three or four out of five for me oh really, I don't have good self-esteem. Okay, that's fair so if it's important, which it is we trust me.
Speaker 1:I know it's important, I which it is. Trust me I know it's important I spent last night reading Matt his horoscope, or his, like Zodiac, that's not the right way to phrase it.
Speaker 2:Star chart or whatever.
Speaker 1:Sorry people who love that His entire like where all of his houses are and everything, which I don't really understand it in any capacity. I'm butchering this, but it was pretty spot on for Matt. Yeah, I thought, but it was pretty spot on for.
Speaker 2:Matt, yeah, I thought yeah, like they're. I know I have feelings about how they're a little bit generalized.
Speaker 1:Well, of course they are.
Speaker 2:Everyone can fit themselves into a lot of the boxes.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like I would have fit in your box at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like if I read it to you and acted like it fit you.
Speaker 1:I would have fought you.
Speaker 2:Maybe, maybe not, I don't know. I just think there's some.
Speaker 1:Whatever?
Speaker 2:There's some fortune teller magic going on there.
Speaker 1:I agree with that, but I enjoy it. Yeah, no, no they're fun.
Speaker 2:I wasn't like this is ruining society and I can't believe people believe in this bullshit. No, I don't. I'm just like I'm not putting a lot of stock in it. Okay, just the idea that our whole life is dictated by, like when you were born, is banana's town to me.
Speaker 1:Really. Yeah, oh see, that makes way more sense than literally anything else to me. I'm not saying that I'm like, yes, this factual run with it, but of all the options I've been given in my life, that by far makes them like most sense. Yeah, okay, I don't necessarily think in the way that people again.
Speaker 2:I think it has like a whole predestination thing that I'm not comfortable with yeah, I agree with you on that like. I don't like the idea that your course is set. I think it just enables people to like I don't think get into grooves it's not, I think that's how people run with it.
Speaker 1:I think you have a problem with how people run with it. I don't think that that's the uh base of it yeah, it's just like.
Speaker 2:Is that setting everyone like kids who were born at the same time, or like geared the same way? No, because it depends on where you were born, geographically too three boys in the hospital, born within five minutes of each other uh-huh we're all gonna like shake out similarly you're like you're missing. See no, but that's not what it is like it's it does.
Speaker 1:It say in there you have to like sports no, it doesn't, it's too general things applied right. It is general, which is why when people take it specific, like how you're saying and the part that bothers you, I agree with you yeah, yeah, I struggle with it.
Speaker 2:It's fun sometimes I just think it's fun yeah, but I'm like I don't know I have to do it, I don't put too much stock into it, because matt and I are literally the least compatible ever. According to that is true anytime we put those in, they're like oh, I wouldn't go there if I were you.
Speaker 1:You're like well, too late our sun signs are fine, like they're like pretty neutral, but then when you put our whole chart in next to each other, they're like well too late. Our sun signs are fine, like, they're like pretty neutral, but then when you put our whole chart in next to each other, they're like you guys might be able to be friends, but definitely don't pursue anything romantic, because this is just absolute zero, terrible Zero Bad vibes guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're like not that you ever would be romantic Like it's impossible, based on your stars, but um you know, if you do, it's not gonna work the stars are not aligned no star crossed for sure. Actually, I think that even that's more positive, where ours are like star, oblivious to each other, not related in any way, okay another article.
Speaker 1:another Another article.
Speaker 2:Another article, Mystery behind Parkinson's has. A mystery behind Parkinson's cause has been solved in life-changing study. Two out of five oh, it doesn't give me any anxiety.
Speaker 1:The anxiety gives me? Is it like going to be something that I feel like I could have made better choices?
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Retroactively, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I think I could have made better choices, like every day, all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fair. And like I didn't so, that is kind of your mindset, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:It's very positive, very self-esteem heavy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You fucked up your whole life, you continue to fuck up and you're going to fuck up until you die.
Speaker 1:That's what the stars say, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm an idiot. Well, they're working on Parkinson's and you should have high self-esteem, Love it. That's what we've learned this week, so Love it love it, let's rock and roll Okay.
Speaker 1:Let's rock and roll.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's get you a word of the week. Word of the week Cha-cha.
Speaker 1:Word of the week. We take a word, we define it to Joe, then she immediately forgets it. I was almost okay and then.
Speaker 2:I really fumbled on immediately.
Speaker 1:Punctilius, okay, punctilius.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let me make sure I'm saying that you know what Nailed it? It sounds like I should hold a wand and go punctilius.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does. It does sound like that, oh wait, wait.
Speaker 1:I want to say what I think would happen when I did that. Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tell me your spell for punctilious.
Speaker 1:I think that if I did that, that it would 2006 era punkify anything I pointed at.
Speaker 2:I thought maybe it would puncture something.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I was thinking like a little hamster with like a really deep side bang.
Speaker 2:The Kia hamster. Is that what you're thinking of?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like really when I, when I A swoop yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a very emo swoop. Yeah, hamster. And some Are you doing this to a hamster? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Like I'm imagining I'm at Hogwarts Got it this to a hamster. Yeah, okay, like I'm imagining, I'm at hogwarts got it.
Speaker 2:I'm in my class. I thought you're making a kia hamsters reference no, no because I think that might have been a little bit. I don't know, it's probably right around then.
Speaker 1:I don't yeah, it was around the same time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're both foundational parts of our yeah adolescence anyway, what does it actually mean? Punctilious. Punctilious person pays attention to details, Like are you always precisely on time or neat.
Speaker 1:I kind of like that.
Speaker 2:That's a punctilious person. Person, person A punctilious person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that Part of.
Speaker 2:Word of the Week is I just screw up words Usually not the Word of the Week, just I feel like you're pretty punctilious oh, I am and I'm not where I am, I am, and where I'm not, you're not, I'm not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say that that's probably true for most people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's like, do you never forget a birthday or a library, like I forget all kinds of things, but but I actually don't think that's a good representation.
Speaker 1:I think that that's how you try to frame things, because you are trying to let yourself off the hook. I think you don't spend any effort in those things. I think there's a difference. I think that if it mattered to you, you wouldn't forget.
Speaker 2:Gotcha have a ton of attention to detail and no follow through you have a ton of attention to detail and no follow-through.
Speaker 1:Right, kindly, we'll think about it, like to me. I think it's really important to me birthdays, like making sure I send a friend yeah but I might miss a birthday here and there because I'm not punctilious yeah, okay yeah, whereas I think I'm a punctilious person and I think birthdays just aren't that important to you, but you instead try to play that off as, oh, I just don't remember.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1:When really you have it all locked up there, which is very frustrating. When you're not a punctilious person, You're like it's all there.
Speaker 2:You have all the tools, you have the hardest part?
Speaker 1:No, you don't. They're both hard parts. It's the tools you have the hardest part.
Speaker 2:No, you don't, they're both hard parts, it's just different. Well, you know, yeah, it is and it isn't. So yeah, you weren't very punctilious about uh outline this week. No, I did not uh do a an outline, just just winged it. But I think we, I think we got through it yeah we talked chaperone. We talked our hot takes.
Speaker 1:Any more hot takes anything you want to close on I don't have anything really good, but this is our last episode before for baby before baby, or I shouldn't say that this is our last, uh public episode before baby if you guys want to be the first to hear about the deeds, all of that, um, you can subscribe to our patreon. We'll be releasing weekly episodes there. I'm not sure what the game plan is exactly for, like a quote unquote maternity leave. I'm guessing that we're still going to put out episodes, that's our current plan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that will be the goal. Barring, extreme circumstances, Barring, you know we have this kid on a Tuesday when we normally publish episode like Tuesday night or whatever you know yeah. There could be a week that we miss out on, but, um, the goal will be to publish weekly.
Speaker 1:Uh, and if, it's a little off schedule. You'll know that we probably were having a kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, and that's really all we got yeah, so if you want to hear about it, check us out yeah, if not, we'll see you.
Speaker 1:See you in May.
Speaker 2:See you in May. Yeah, love you guys. Bye, bye.