Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Pregnancy Pull-Ups and Political Parenting
This week we swap stories about our fashion quirks and the hilariously mismatched outfits that make us who we are. From Jo's playful grilling of Matt's love for cozy oversized clothes to tales of "Gumby syndrome" in the family, our conversation offers a humorous take on body image and self-perception. Laugh along as we navigate the complexities of dressing for comfort versus style and attempting pull-ups at 37 weeks pregnant!
Whether we're discussing the art of fitting an access point system in the house or recounting the frenzy of Black Friday shopping, our anecdotes offer a lighthearted glimpse into the joys and challenges of everyday living. Plus, we debate the anxiety-inducing headlines that flood our news feeds and how they shape our perceptions of the world. And we answer questions from the listeners this week, ranging from how to handle different religious and political perspectives in parenting, to how to build community away from home.
Don’t forget to check out our Patreon for more laughs and insights, and keep those questions coming for our future episodes!
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:I've been saving this for the podcast. Why are you wearing only girl outfits? You've been wearing sweatpants with a gray sweatshirt every day for like what feels like the last six years.
Speaker 2:Look bad, play bad.
Speaker 1:But what's going on? Like your clothes look like they're swallowing you. You're wearing your biggest pants and your biggest sweatshirt together at all times. You look like somebody that's on the worst period of their life. Like I don't. That's a great question, uh, I wasn't ready for this hard-hitting um journalism this early in the podcast. Bad per se, it just like is confusing yeah, just an emotional turmoil is that what it is? No, I don't know oh my gosh, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2:What On the podcast?
Speaker 1:What kind of emotional turmoil are you experiencing?
Speaker 2:Not much. I've just been wearing these sweatpants a lot.
Speaker 1:I know, and they're mine, aren't they?
Speaker 2:Well, they're ours.
Speaker 1:I thought they were. They're my Elwood ones, aren't?
Speaker 2:they, they are, they are, they were they're my old ones aren't.
Speaker 1:They are. They are you like? They're huge. They're so big I had to order a size up because they didn't fit me, so thank you sir, oh, okay um these surely fit you yeah, those fit me yeah but I ordered a size below that because everybody talked about how big they are and they were too tight.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I run into that with sweatpants a lot though, fair enough, you have jacked legs. Yeah, it's my jacked legs that are the problem.
Speaker 2:You got like a 600-pound squat. They're not that big, it's like you and Jayla Hertz.
Speaker 1:Like they're supposed to fit oversized. But I have to get them.
Speaker 2:I'm assuming that's why you ordered them bigger though, so that they had an oversized fit they're loose around my, my behind.
Speaker 1:You must have to cinch the drawstring down, though Cause like.
Speaker 2:Even I have to cinch the drawstring down and your waist is way smaller than mine. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I have to like they don't make very. I don't know. I need room in the the wagon, you know.
Speaker 2:Should I stand up so people can really see the grout fit?
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you want to stand up and give a little display of the pants? Look at how big they are, says Matt. I also think a lot of times like I look at your legs and I'm like Matt's legs are huge, like you're very like muscly. And they're big. And then I try on your pants, like I have tried on your pants before, and it's devastating because I'm like are my? I'm actually, I am bigger than you at the hip and in the legs at the quad like, yeah, they're tight around my leg too.
Speaker 2:I think that's more that because your hip is wider, it's leaving you less quad room.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's fine. It is what it is. Sure I don't really struggle with.
Speaker 2:We don't usually share pants.
Speaker 1:No, and I don't struggle with looking in the mirror and thinking I look any kind of way or bad. It's just interesting how all of it is perception, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for a man, I have big legs Because.
Speaker 1:I don't think of myself. This is going to sound unhinged, probably to people.
Speaker 2:I'm excited.
Speaker 1:But when Caroline and I stand next to one another, I don't think of us as very different sizes.
Speaker 2:That is unhinged, you're correct.
Speaker 1:And I think part of it is, I think, that we are just both very healthy versions of our body, fair, so I don't think about it much beyond that.
Speaker 2:That's probably good.
Speaker 1:But we are like extremely different sizes.
Speaker 2:Yes. Like aggressively different sizes you can feel like a Caroline and a half inside of you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Wild.
Speaker 2:It is wild, but that's that's just bodies. Also just to continue this.
Speaker 1:my sister has lost a lot of weight for the second time and, uh, she now has, you know, and she now has, you know, made the switch with all of her clothes. Her clothes are too small for me. It officially happened Devastating. Like we can share some things, but a lot of her stuff's.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She's a lot smaller than me, which we've said since we were kids.
Speaker 2:I was going to say frame-wise, she's smaller. That's what.
Speaker 1:I was going to say is we've always said, frame wise she's smaller than me, but it, uh, it was a not that she's small, but like no, I mean she's taller than me yeah she's 5 10, but she's just not.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't know broad I got bones baby we got yeah shoulders, I got a frame.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's sturdy you and me both yeah, and my sisters neither are like very sturdy yeah, no must be from my mom, your one sister's actively falling apart that's a whole different issue. That's unrelated. Yeah, she's got like a disease that her body's falling apart I think it's like gumby syndrome or something in a way that it's like making it sound so much more cruel, like that you're not being mean, but it sounds like you're being an absolute jerk, I'm not even that far off, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's like her bones are disintegrating.
Speaker 2:Her bones are disintegrating and her ligaments are too stretchy, or something I don't know.
Speaker 1:She's like super stretchy.
Speaker 2:Think of like a inflatable tube man. Um, that's like how she can move.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did like different mobility things at thanksgiving and she could do everything and she's so long and tall and it's not like she's stretching, no, no maybe we don't know she was was a dancer 20 years ago. Yeah, but like maybe that helps. I don't know that it lasts that long, but sure I feel like swimming has lasted me like a lifetime, of my body composition being different, like I think I was already.
Speaker 2:I think you were a good swimmer because your body composition was different.
Speaker 1:I know. But I genuinely think like yeah, I mean like there's no way if I hadn't, even with my body composition, there's no way if I hadn't slammed that, I could still do pull-ups. I want to go try and do a pull-up today.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, why do you only do this when you're pregnant?
Speaker 1:I'm not pregnant enough that I think it's an issue. Do you think I'm pregnant enough that it's an issue. Do you think I already?
Speaker 2:Not yet it's an issue. Okay, do you think I'm pregnant enough that it's an?
Speaker 1:issue.
Speaker 2:Do you think I already not yet I'm wanting to do it when I'm not pregnant, but we always forget until I'm too pregnant and then well, yeah, you also have to wait for a while after you're pregnant or you're gonna like tear something and I can't do it.
Speaker 1:It's already torn right, yeah, you can probably do one I think I could do one right now too I think maybe we could try, if you can get me up on the um the beam outside it feels like a bad idea.
Speaker 2:Like I know it supports you. It supports like the house right I just don't like the idea.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, then we won't do that. Yeah, it's okay. I don't want to freak you out, we can drive to the park go do it in public, like we did last time, wouldn't be the first time what was it?
Speaker 2:how many weeks pregnant were?
Speaker 1:you the first time you tried 37. 37, I was really pregnant. We were going to have a baby within a month.
Speaker 2:I feel like you were super pregnant and you were just so convinced you could still do a pull-up and I was like you don't have any core and you're like I've got this and you hung on that bar. You just hung there and then you're like, wait a second, I do need my core to be able to like activate my lats and everything Like I was so pregnant too, like I'm carrying like 20 pounds off the front.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you might as well have been wearing like a 35 pound vest. Hasn't done a pull up in probably three years. No, that's not true, that's not true.
Speaker 1:One year One year probably. Okay, anyway, not actively training, that's for sure but that's just always been my yeah, my talent party trick I can always pump out five, five to eight pull-ups that's why we don't go to parties anymore shut up. I don't actually whip that out at parties like yeah, because nobody has a pull-up bar.
Speaker 2:I did it, I did I did it at one wedding that's true there were guys, it was a military wedding. It was air force, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:yeah, and the guys were doing pull-ups and I was like I can do that, and they were like yeah and I, I did do it you did it, you crushed it I crushed it what'd you five I don't know.
Speaker 2:Anyway, but I don't think.
Speaker 1:If I had not swam, I don't think I'd be able to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's just. I do think that I am more naturally inclined to be able to build muscle mass in that way. I understand what you're saying, but I just, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Whatever? It's fine, I successfully deflected away from my elephant outfit. So Elephant outfit, I like that.
Speaker 2:If I had a trunk right now perfect elephant outfit.
Speaker 1:It would look like you were. Well, that's the thing about every time I see you.
Speaker 2:I'm like, is he doing an outfit?
Speaker 1:Like I don't.
Speaker 2:Is he?
Speaker 1:dressed up as a gray ghost yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I don't, Is he dressed up as a gray ghost? Yeah, you're normally very fashionable and, like the grays, don't quite match they're so close, but they're not exactly right, but they're not, so it doesn't look like it's like, but on camera it's fine.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't look like a set, you know Like it doesn't look like. It's like they're different weights of fabric.
Speaker 2:Right, this they're different weights of fabric. Right, this is like a super heavyweight hoodie and then like a super lightweight pair of pants, so they don't drape the same way, it is true. No, like if it was a set and you were like In a photo. They look coordinating In real life while they move. They don't.
Speaker 1:No yeah. I'm telling you like a set would be fine. There are a lot of I don't know, but I also there's a dissonance to it. I get it if, for some reason, this is something you've said, to cry for help if you become really passionate about it and you're like I just really want to do more monochrome looks for christmas. I'm going to order you some sets, not whatever this is I'm looking to see how big clothes can get. Yeah, I see that. Yeah, Is it more comfortable on your body?
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I'm not in great shape it does help to have billowy clothes. But I feel like you're billowy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like you're in better shape.
Speaker 2:I was, but then.
Speaker 1:I feel like you're working your way back fairly quickly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's just been a bad few days.
Speaker 1:So you decided to go elephante.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay, when I'm back on the straight and narrow, we'll wear normal clothes again.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can dress like an elephant, I don't care, I just wanted to know. You just want like a better elephant outfit.
Speaker 2:That's what you're saying.
Speaker 1:No, you can wear the bad elephant outfit. I just wanted to have more information fair enough.
Speaker 2:Okay, you wanted some background.
Speaker 1:Like I don't want you to wear this to like a public event a wedding a wedding we're going to a wedding next week. Please don't pack it um like at all. Don't pack it in the bag.
Speaker 2:You can't tell me this isn't a casino fit right here this is this is somebody who, like, is at the casino days at the casino yeah yeah that's not me strung out on drugs at the casino well, if you're gonna be there for days, drugs might help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know anyway, okay, let's, let's give everybody. This is a episode. Everybody's listening to this, so let's give them an update is it 100?
Speaker 2:it's what is it episode 100, or did we have that last time? I?
Speaker 1:have we're right around there I'll check, this might be episode 100 guys I don't have context for that at all.
Speaker 2:Joe hasn't been keeping track hasn't looked at what we're doing. Episodes wise for a year no let's see, let's see episodes. What he he did again it is this is episode 100. Welcome. Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, pew, pew, pew, pew, episode 100. I said it worked out on a public episode. Yeah, happy to have you guys here, century mark Means we've been doing it at least two years.
Speaker 1:You'd think we'd be getting better with the audio.
Speaker 2:We like to wander around. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I thought was it bad last week too.
Speaker 1:No, I think we fixed it last week, Okay cool. But I don't know if it was messed up on the last like first of the month episode. Anyway, irrelevant.
Speaker 2:Who knows?
Speaker 1:November was good. We did a little traveling, we did a little turkey eating, we did a little Thanksgiving at the farm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we took the kids out to the farm. Garty got to drive a tractor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she did, she thought that was awesome.
Speaker 2:They got to go look at like giant horses. Yeah really big. They got to go feed some cows Like drafting horses yeah.
Speaker 1:They like actually work fields with them Work horses literally. And some cutie little cows.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:The fluffy ones, Yep and uh, what else. It was fun they got. We got to spend time with family and we got to help JC, my best friend, prep her nursery and around the house. Matt went absolutely bat shit with a steam cleaner.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was steam cleaning and I was painting, painting like crazy.
Speaker 1:You were light fixturing.
Speaker 2:Yep, wired up some lights. Lights are pretty simple, but yeah.
Speaker 1:That is what looks the most impressive.
Speaker 2:Light fixtures.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Really, people are very scared of electricity, which is fair, like you don't want to.
Speaker 1:Steam cleaning doesn't look as impressive. No, I would say it probably is one of the more impressive things stain treating impactful, like it has the yeah it does make something pop.
Speaker 2:The painting looked really not impressive no, but the before and after was good. Oh, unreal yeah I'm, but I'm.
Speaker 1:I participated in the painting and I was like oh, this looks like I'm doing absolutely nothing oh in terms of work sure you didn't look like.
Speaker 2:It was like exhausting.
Speaker 1:Or that it was like a skill.
Speaker 2:Strenuous yeah.
Speaker 1:Like it was like oh, put the unskilled people on painting the trim, and I was like noted, that's me.
Speaker 2:We did it yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it did look really good when we left.
Speaker 2:I was painting with abandon. You were I was painting anything that got in my way.
Speaker 1:You were. That's true. Anyway, that was fun though, yeah, and now we are back at home for like a microsecond. We're flipping over the house and getting everything clean so that our house sitter can be here with our puppies. We're stocking fridges. I want to come back to a clean house.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, because we're hosting the day that we get back. Oh snap. Yeah, and so I need to get everything prepped and I think we're doing our ornament party the day that we return from our next travels, right?
Speaker 2:on.
Speaker 1:And so we will be. Um, I'm going to prep everything before we leave.
Speaker 2:Cool, okay, well, that sounds good.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's funny you said that that was fun when we were doing the house. My psych literally asked me today. He's like what have you been doing for fun this last month? And I was like projects, like I think that's what I've been doing for fun. Like I installed that network cabinet. I've been building an IT infrastructure over here at this house.
Speaker 1:It's definitely for fun, Like we definitely don't need that.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:No, you really confuse trying to make things abundantly efficient with things we need. Sure Like there are a lot of things that need to get done around the house and you will work on maximizing things that already work.
Speaker 2:fine, You're telling me that a network cabinet with a dedicated router and access point system is not a need.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:Come on now.
Speaker 1:Has our internet not been working at any point?
Speaker 2:It's been fine. It's actually a little worse right now in one corner of the house because I need one more access point.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, I did make it actively where someone said it was yes.
Speaker 2:But it's stable, it's very stable.
Speaker 1:But it was stable before.
Speaker 2:It was okay before. Okay, you demand peak stability. You get pretty annoyed if anything's not working when?
Speaker 1:when was the last time I was annoyed with you about the internet? Not not does not count if it's when you were messing with it to try and make it more efficient no, uh, disney plus.
Speaker 2:I don't know what disney plus's problem is, but when when it goes like we have fast internet and it's just like barely streaming but when was the last time I said that to you?
Speaker 1:two weeks ago and how frequently do I bring that?
Speaker 2:up not very often like it's fine and did I make it into a big deal, or did I just say huh what's going on here and I had to reset it, yeah and it's kind of like I'm realistically, what's happening in here is I am in my pursuit of making something that I never, ever have to deal with, doing massive amounts of work to make something like two percent more reliable well, so that I don't have, and the fix for it being not reliable before was like restarting it, which takes like three minutes while not doing any of the projects that actually need to be done any calling about the parts on our fridge, so that our correct fridge panel can be on that.
Speaker 1:I've been asking for for two and a half years, one project you got.
Speaker 2:That's the one you got uh, I have more.
Speaker 1:Would you like me to continue? Yes the curtains in our bedroom. You said that you were going to get all new hooks for over two years ago, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:They're hanging there right now.
Speaker 1:Would you like me to continue?
Speaker 2:or would you like me to stop Sure do?
Speaker 1:one more. Okay, the hardware in the pantry, our bathroom, my closet, the office.
Speaker 2:I actually have hardware for some of those things Is it on? No, no, I have hardware for some of those things Is it on no, no, you have to be involved in the hardwaring. Like decisions.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, and how hard is it to get me to be involved? Not very, but, but you're using that excuse, hey, I put hardware on a different set of cabinets.
Speaker 2:I know that was progress.
Speaker 1:And yes, it's massive, it's elevated the space.
Speaker 2:I loved it. It's elevated the space. I loved it.
Speaker 1:It's elevated the space, everything's so much easier to use. Yeah, I value and appreciate that you did that so deeply. But, but nothing. It's fine, okay, fine, all I'm saying is there are needs around the house, not just one.
Speaker 2:Okay, I hear you. An access point system is way more fun, though Kind of I Access point system is way more fun, though Kind of I got so mad when I was putting it in. But that's part of the game. Yeah, that's the hustle. Anyway, that's what I've been doing for fun. It's just projects, Not the ones I need to be doing, obviously.
Speaker 1:I haven't been having much fun.
Speaker 2:No, that's usually what I'm like. I don't know I don't do fun.
Speaker 1:Well, I genuinely like generally, I read a lot of books.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I only read three books in November.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's crazy low for you, I've read 96 books in 2024. Jeez.
Speaker 1:And I only read three in November.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if you don't read more than three this month, you're not going to hit 100.
Speaker 1:That's okay.
Speaker 2:You're okay with 99?.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a loser, yeah, wow, I don't have like Accepting mediocrity. How many books did you read?
Speaker 2:this year Matt Absolutely none, Not even an audio book.
Speaker 1:Nope, I don't have like a hard. I set a goal, like my goal and my thing is to read a hundred books, I think. But it doesn't really matter to me, it's something I do for fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I try not to lean in on it. You're not going to read like a little novella like December 31st, if you're right there.
Speaker 1:No, I'd be shocked if I don't read that many books in December.
Speaker 2:Fair enough.
Speaker 1:Because we're flying without yeah, that's true, that's true, a decent length flight, and we also are going to be traveling without kids to an airport.
Speaker 2:Yep, those are all good points and so I to me.
Speaker 1:I'm seeing two or three books getting done in that traveling fair enough alone okay but maybe not then you just need one more for the month and you're good. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So Wild Nothing. Real exciting though, I feel like in November.
Speaker 1:No, just really really busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the busiest time of the year.
Speaker 2:Q4, baby.
Speaker 1:Q4.
Speaker 2:We got terrible sleep over Thanksgiving break. I feel like we're just getting Thanksgiving. It wasn't a break.
Speaker 1:We worked more than ever I slept in this morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like Terrible sleep, so did you.
Speaker 1:But you, you got up without kids. You had solo time this morning.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I got up at 7.
Speaker 1:Like a. You got a decent amount of solo time this morning. Yeah, 35 minutes.
Speaker 2:No, she was up at like 7.45.
Speaker 1:No, are you sure?
Speaker 2:up at like 7 45.
Speaker 1:No, are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure my alarm went off at eight and she was with.
Speaker 2:She was still in bed and she stayed with me till. I must not have been out of bed at seven. I must have been out of bed at 7, 30 okay does not matter.
Speaker 1:This is so irrelevant but you guys really care right yeah, this is the kind of thing they're on the edge of their seat, surely? Yeah?
Speaker 2:surely, but podcasting bros.
Speaker 1:You're part of the bros. What?
Speaker 2:you're part of the bros, yeah, yeah I don't know. Any good Black Friday, Cyber Monday acquisitions.
Speaker 1:No, we know, I'm not a shopper, matt has a good one.
Speaker 2:That's why he asked.
Speaker 1:It's because Matt wants to tell you about what he bought, undoubtedly, but I'll go ahead and tell you the things I bought. I got the kids PJs from Mason Gray, oh, and I bought myself a new. I've been slowly this year, as I'm getting rid of old workout sets that I don't wear anymore. I've been replacing with Vitality, because I found those are the sets that I want to reach for, and I think I have three outfits or maybe four outfits from them, and I bought a fourth or fifth.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:But it was like a new release that they were running their sale nice on um and I think that's all. I got pjs for the kids and that cool I'm trying to think if, oh, and I got a christmas gift for um familia uh for jc's daughter oh, that's right, and then I also got.
Speaker 2:I shopped small business saturday yeah, oh yeah, you were out on saturday with g.
Speaker 1:You guys went out downtown but that's not like really the same. Those aren't like deals. That was just going out and I got holiday gifts and stuff, because I try to shop local and small businesses as much as I can for holiday gifts. So go ahead, tell them. What did you get?
Speaker 2:I got a big rolling toolbox. It's pretty sweet Three tier system. It's got a little tool bag that clips onto the top. It's going to be good. I'm going to set it up. It's going to have all my tools in it. I'll be able to take them anywhere. It's mainly just so that when I do a project and I take all my tools somewhere, instead of leaving them out, I'll have somewhere to put them back into, into the toolbox, although I guess maybe leaving that giant toolbox places isn't going to be more aesthetically pleasing.
Speaker 1:No, but it's easier for me to roll roll a whole toolbox than to just stack all your tools.
Speaker 2:And it's easier for me to find a huge toolbox than it is to find individual tools. I've left throughout the house.
Speaker 1:What I think is funny about it is you have a huge toolbox.
Speaker 2:But I can't take it places Right, I can't take it where I need it, right, and so the idea of this toolbox is I can take it where I'm working.
Speaker 1:If this doesn't work? Yeah, we're not. Toolbox is not the problem. Do you understand? Yes, what?
Speaker 2:The toolbox is not the problem. I've never been going around being like well, I just don't have the proper toolbox for this. I'm like I don't have the proper wiring to do this in my body, my brain.
Speaker 1:I know, but just kind of how we were talking about the efficiency thing earlier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is all about efficiency.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it turns earlier. Yeah, this is all about efficiency.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, it turns into yeah.
Speaker 1:No, if I just get this one more thing, it's going to.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, yeah, Sometimes it just takes an acquisition to get the juices flowing. You know you got to no.
Speaker 1:This doesn't work for you.
Speaker 2:It's about novelty ADHD is like you have to involve the novelty, and so sometimes you need something new to really shake it up.
Speaker 1:I really think that that's just ADHD's spin on consumerism.
Speaker 2:You know it's a chicken or egg situation. I think no. There is a degree of novelty.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist without consumerism.
Speaker 2:It's the cause of consumerism. No, no, no, there is something like. It's not even always about buying, but it's about like something new is more engaging than something old you just want. You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1:I don't think you're crazy, I'm listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm learning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like it's why people start new hobbies and then right, continue them yeah then they start another new hobby and they the old hobby dies. Yeah, but I'm kind of boring yeah, my, I don't know why I agreed with that, so it's okay, that doesn't offend me.
Speaker 1:I don't think boring's an insult. I mean it depends on how it's. You know it could be, but I don't think that was. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:What don't you know what?
Speaker 1:I don't do I don't know, I'm boring. I kind of do the same things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't change it. You like to change careers.
Speaker 1:I love. I don't even know that that's true, though.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Because, tell me this I like to change. Maybe I feel like the core of what I like to do has always been the same.
Speaker 2:Which is.
Speaker 1:Market.
Speaker 2:People.
Speaker 1:And people, and like figuring out how to take something somebody's passionate about, should they want to monetize it, and do it in a way that is practical and valuable, like I think that's what I've liked to do since I was in college and it's still what I like to do.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:I just think it's looked different ways, because my passion is that part, not the service you love building a business.
Speaker 2:You don't like operating a business.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You're a builder?
Speaker 1:Yeah, turn and burn this is the longest you've done anything. I don't like turn and burn. That makes me feel bad. That feels like an insult.
Speaker 2:It's not about burning. It's not about the burning.
Speaker 1:You love turning, I like.
Speaker 2:The burning just happens.
Speaker 1:This is the longest that I've ever done something.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:Is that right? That feels no.
Speaker 2:Has to be. I mean, I guess, photography. You did a long, long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, full-time, I yeah full-time. I did photography, though, from.
Speaker 2:Like you did it in college.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I did it full-time February of 2017 to September of 21. So I don't think we're quite there yet, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're not there yet, but we're close.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we are coming up on it. It's going to be next year.
Speaker 2:And you're already dabbling in the new thing, as you.
Speaker 1:I am, no, I'm saying you were. Oh, like you were transitioning there was a transition period where you're doing both, I feel like oh yeah, for sure, but like absolutely, but it being the thing that I like solely rely on. I graduated college, I went into marketing. I worked that job from june of 2015 until february of 2017 yeah and then february 2017. I took photography full-time until September of 21 yep so well.
Speaker 2:I haven't worked very long no, I feel that way sometimes when I think about my career.
Speaker 1:I did jobs like I always worked, like I worked in high school, I worked in college, but I post-college career type jobs that were full-time incomes that paid my bills. I really don't. I'm like. I really don't feel like I have that much.
Speaker 2:Well, that time just flies, Like it's been 10 years since I was in college and coming up on 10 years anyway, and that feels impossible, but it's true. Getting there, getting older.
Speaker 1:But don't you kind of feel like we're wee little infant babies that?
Speaker 2:feels impossible, but it's true. Getting there, getting older, the last, but don't you kind of feel like we're wee little infant babies?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. No, I still feel like a kid, like I feel like we've been very fortunate to have a lot of success in the handful of things that we've done A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:But we're still newbie yeah, I don't know, it's wild, like at 32 now I still feel 25 mentally yeah it's just. It never changes. From what I can tell when I talk to older people, that doesn't. It doesn't go away either. They're always like yeah, no, and my head I'm 30 or 25 or whatever. But kids have changed perspective. Long term it's definitely changed the stage of life I'm in, but as a person internally I don't really feel different.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just priorities.
Speaker 1:Do we have Reads of the Week?
Speaker 2:Reads of the Week. I'm sure your dad's been reading news, right.
Speaker 1:Greg's Reads of the Week.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's check it out. Let's see what Greg's been doing.
Speaker 2:We take a headline, we read it out loud, then we say how much anxiety.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're doing a little different mix up here, not really. My dad likes to send us lots of articles. We like to read the headlines and say on a scale of one to five how much anxiety that headline gives us oh okay, hit us hit us here we go, we got some good stuff this week okay, good you ready yeah, I'm ready the earth is tilted 31.5 inches. That shouldn't happen three and a half three and a half.
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah, I'll give it a three out of five. I won't lie. 31.5 inches, like makes me. I'm. I'm trying to figure out what that means. Like what if something tilts? However many inches and at which is like a degree of rotation, like because degrees if it was like it's turned one degree, it's, although it's probably like such a tiny amount of degrees that it doesn't feel like if they were like it's turned 0.0001 degrees. That shouldn't happen.
Speaker 1:But I think it has turned enough that that's like a lot of what is shifting.
Speaker 2:I mean the article type says that shouldn't happen. Should we click in? Should we do the rare? I read it. Oh, you read it, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what'd you?
Speaker 2:learn.
Speaker 1:Uh yeah, What'd you learn, If I remember right, because I've read a couple articles about this in the last couple weeks. But it's like the weather and stuff is shifting because of how much the earth has shifted, like where it's warmer, cooler and stuff. I don't really know.
Speaker 2:This is starting off. The bullet points of it are when humans pump groundwater, it has a substantial impact on the tilt of the earth's rotation. So it's I'm guessing it's that we're pulling so much water out of the ground that it's shifting where the weight displaced, like right dispersion, but it's impacting like oh yeah the temperatures of places because they're differently located to the sun. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Wow, now I'm more concerned.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because like we kind of need water For sure. Yeah, you know, Whether we're supposed to get it out of the ground or not. That's kind of we, just that's what we're doing. We got to get it out of the ground or not. That's kind of we, just that's what we're doing. We got to get it. It's where the clean water's at. Oh cool, here's another. Here's another good article why some kitchen utensils could be poisoning you.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Zero out of five. One out of five.
Speaker 1:Don't know, don't care.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm curious to see where your take is on this.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I was like a two out of five.
Speaker 1:Oh really.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:I'm hitting this point and this might be unhealthy that I don't really care what all the things are doing to me.
Speaker 2:Love it Okay.
Speaker 1:Like, not that I don't want to make safe choices. I do try to make relatively educated choices, but I don't let headlines grab me in that regard, because it feels like it's always something Gotcha. Like we use glass storage containers we, you, you know but like we use plastic cutting boards yeah, it's true you know like yeah, yeah, it's true I just feel like it's always been something like it was lead, it was asbestos, it was do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:like yeah, there is like a real uh there they're. Like over time there's been a lot of things that people have consumed.
Speaker 1:That's not great, and I'm not saying I want to, that's not. I'm not arguing like well, we shouldn't try to do better, because it's just always a problem. I'm not trying to go that far either yeah but I just think small, sustainable changes and I'm gonna let my body do what it does yeah, it's as I'm coasting through this article.
Speaker 2:It's talking about all the different plastic problems that you can have.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like the black, it's the the kitchen utensils. One is the black plastic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I saw some videos about that and I saw somebody who does like takes the scientific research and kind of like not debunks but tries to like breaks it down elaborate in order to understand, like, where the information was coming from, and at the end it was pretty much like you don't have to get rid of your black utensils.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you shouldn't eat them either, but no, but I don't know If I was somebody who was peak health. I great care of myself. I wake up every morning, I'm doing manual labor that I feel like is appropriate for my body and I'm eating perfectly balanced, nutritional, and I felt like I was emotionally really well and stable and I had a great community and all those things were. Maybe I would be more concerned, but I'm like I feel like stress and lack of community is going to kill me long before my black utensils.
Speaker 2:Ah gotcha fair enough. Yeah, that's valid you know, yeah, yeah, there's a degree of some of that stuff that it's like okay, it is bad for you, yes, it can increase your risk of cancer, but sometimes, when they talk about the increased risk, it is not a like 500 increase, it is a like 10 increase. And then you also have to be like what are the other habits and everything else?
Speaker 1:there's a lot of like impact that you can have outside of just like there's also a huge issue with a lot of this research that correlation is not always causation.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so they are stating correlations that they're finding, but that doesn't mean there's proof of causation either.
Speaker 2:True.
Speaker 1:And I think about that a lot when you're talking about our food quality and stuff and talking about European countries, our food quality and stuff. And talking about european countries, well, we're also taking into consideration. They have access to health care. They don't have the stressors of knowing they need to pay for health care. Um, they have walkable communities where they are naturally more active because of the way their cultures are built. They have, like there are a lot of their countries.
Speaker 2:Like the, it's significantly smaller. Like the countries are significantly smaller.
Speaker 1:So it's easier to have a variety of perspective and interact with a diverse group of people. Well, in those countries, yeah, their food is more regionally sourced.
Speaker 2:It's it's less diverse. Like you have more food diversity here right because we get food from all over the world.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They have some of that, but like just and broadly speaking, our food diversity is so much larger and we have a lot much larger country. So even within our country the food has to travel significant distances.
Speaker 1:Well and I'm not saying that the points people have don't have legs, like I'm not saying those aren't valid conversations we should be having. I just don't think it's black and white the way that you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I'm with you. We, we very much, are on the same page of like there's a lot of things I could be doing to improve my health long before I'm like these tiny, like pollutants are what's causing all my problems. It's like, well, if you exercise and like eat a more balanced diet regularly, then you know let's. Let's assess the individual tiny things for sure yeah, there's lots of big stuff.
Speaker 1:Stress is also a big one.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I got a choice of two here. Let's parts of your body start aging earlier than others. New research shows.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make me anxious. That makes sense to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all the way down to your organs and cells individually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense to me.
Speaker 2:It doesn't cause any anxiety for me.
Speaker 1:No, aging in general, you know, what's interesting. I feel like a lot of people who grew up around a lot of health issues, like I did, tend to be more anxious about health. I feel like it's kind of it goes one of two ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You either are, you aren't, and I feel like I definitely fall on the side of I'm not going to stress about it until I know I have something to stress about. I'm not going to stress about it until I know I have something to stress about because you can't plan for the unknown. You can prepare for the unknown in some capacity of, like you know, having an emergency savings and having like plans of general contacts and people that you reach out to, et cetera, but the real detailed nuance of all of it you never know until you're in it, and I think I've watched that happen so many times that I'm just not a health stressor. I want to take care of myself. Like lots of studies, one of the biggest things they see is like the more muscle mass you have, the healthier long-term Like. That is a huge correlation for a lot of studies now.
Speaker 1:And so I'm like, okay, I want to make sure that I'm prioritizing muscle mass. You know, in my 30s, and 40s, you know, like things like that. But I just I don't know what are your thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm with you Aging I don't know what are your thoughts. Yeah, I mean I'm with you Aging I don't know. I'm very bad with time and so aging feels like a little high level for me.
Speaker 1:One day, I think it's just going to slap you in the face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one day I'm going to tear my Achilles or something. I feel like that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 1:No, that's so niche.
Speaker 2:Just like a catastrophic. Uh, I hope not. Injury, I hope not either. Like I'm not, I'm not hoping that happens. I haven't had any major injuries in my my career, but uh, I feel like that's what'll catch me off guard at some point. It's getting hurt.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not that I'm doing anything crazy.
Speaker 1:I'm not like yeah, but you definitely max out like oh yeah you're to failure ah yeah, I'm a failure boy you're uh, I'm gonna do this to failure, and that's a great way to get injured well, yeah, I feel like I'm fairly safe with it, though yeah, but that's kind of like being like. I choose race dirt bikes, but I'm a fairly safe dirt bike racer. I guess I hear you, I think there are safer ways to do that, but at some point you still have to acknowledge you're participating in something that is dangerous.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, I still don't think it's that dangerous. That's how you get better or hurt.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Fair enough.
Speaker 1:Fair enough Again, and I don't think, like I don't think, there's anything wrong with dirt biking.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's anything wrong with but I, you just have to. I was cruising through the article and seeing what it was talking about. It's really inconclusive. There's people that make tests that'll tell you like, but none of them are FDA approved and like. The results vary widely. This guy was like. One of them told me I was 20 years younger than my age. One of them told me I was three years older, so that tells me they don't.
Speaker 2:It's very difficult to conclude because people are starting to make like swab tests to compare how your genes compare with other people your age, why, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I feel like to know I know, but don't you think that that's just a measure of us to know, like, where we fall, like it's like we're trying to feel better or like have something to blame, that we're worse than everybody else? Yeah I think that's so silly. I don't think it's beneficial no, but people like it. That's silly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people love metrics.
Speaker 1:I just think that's so crazy, because here's the thing about metrics is there's such a variety of them. You can always be winning and you can always be losing. And let me tell you, you're one of two kinds of people.
Speaker 2:You're either mad Winners or losers.
Speaker 1:Who is always focused on the ways he's losing. It doesn't matter if he's winning 100 out of 101 categories.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:He's like I suck, I'm the worst person on the planet. I'm terrible. I lost this one category, or you're like me, who could be losing 100 and winning one, and I'm like that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a winner, winners and losers.
Speaker 1:And guess who's happier?
Speaker 2:You.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100 winners and losers and guess who's happier?
Speaker 2:You, yeah, A hundred percent. I don't it it.
Speaker 1:Look at me, look at me.
Speaker 2:I'm in a. I'm wearing a gray cloud that's.
Speaker 1:I just really struggle with that. Fair enough, cause, like you, are a person that is so exceptional, truly Like I mean, can do anything, tries anything and is great at it, can be successful with a little work. At anything he tries his hand at, it's very impressive and it's very awe-inspiring to watch. And then I like don't. I'm like no wonder I was made this way, because I would be insufferable. I really would Like I watch talented people do things all the time and I'm like if I could sing, oh, boy oh, thank God, you can't.
Speaker 2:Again, I'm not going to say you can't sing, because for a long time you were told you were like literally tone deaf, which is just not true.
Speaker 1:But I mean if I could, but if you were a talented singer, if I could Broadway Exceptional singer, if I could Ariana Grande.
Speaker 2:Oh God, Like we couldn't be married.
Speaker 1:No, Nobody could marry me. I would be alone. But I'd be fine because I'd be alone with my talent, that's true.
Speaker 2:You'd never stop singing.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Same with any.
Speaker 2:You'd have to be married to someone who was legally deaf.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No somebody would love it.
Speaker 2:You'd have like a musical theater house. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not even like anti-theater, but just like just yeah. But it's not just like any kind of yeah, you'd be insufferable, I would.
Speaker 2:It would never stop, like you already sing through this podcast.
Speaker 1:I like music the whole podcast, would be singing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'd sing everything you had to say.
Speaker 1:I'd have a 60 minute spot everywhere where people could just come and listen to me. Now you're making me sound.
Speaker 2:You would be all over it, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's fair. I'm just saying I, not I don't know. Now I feel like the way we've described it it sounds like I'm trying to put it in other people's faces and it's not about that.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. You would just be so enamored with it, I would be so excited. It'd be for you, it wouldn't be for anyone else.
Speaker 1:And it blows my mind when I listen to you, because you're just good at so many things. I'm like I don't know what you have to be. Which that's invalidating, which that's invalidating? I'm not trying to invalidate the experiences you have either but it is hard for me to understand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I just love to be losing. I know it's a, it's a character flaw. It's really interesting. Yeah, would you say that that falls under like a scarcity?
Speaker 2:mindset. Yeah, okay, for sure For me anyway, like speaking for myself, I don't want to. Does that interest you learning about that Scarcity mindset? Yeah, okay, for sure For me anyway, like speaking for myself, I don't want to.
Speaker 1:Does that interest you learning about that?
Speaker 2:Scarcity mindset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, versus like an abundance mindset.
Speaker 2:What do I need to learn about it?
Speaker 1:Cause I feel like, uh, I Well, you're really good at practicing a scarcity mindset but, if you simplify it into like scarcity versus abundance, would that help you then practice in a different way that may feel more supportive of you and your lifestyle? Hmm?
Speaker 2:That seems uh possible.
Speaker 1:Like, for me it's not really useful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like same with manifesting and all of that stuff. Like when you give it like actual steps and real thoughtful, which I think that's huge and really helpful to a lot of people. But the moment that you do that to it for me, like I get really immature and I'm like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Not when other people are doing it.
Speaker 1:Totally fine, but if I try to do it, it's not effective.
Speaker 2:It doesn't break down for you. Yeah, no, I don't know how much. Learning about scarcity I understand. I have a scarcity mindset. I'm always trying to reduce, not grow. That's something I need a lot of work in is trying to be more, not less, because you run out of room to make less and then you're also not there. That's something I've run into plenty, but no, I don't know. But learning about it, maybe learning tools and things like that, that's much more. I feel like in the phase that I'm in, but understanding it further, I'm like, no, I get it, like I'm trying to be small and I need to be bigger, physically bigger. That's why I'm wearing these huge clothes. One day.
Speaker 1:These clothes are going to fit me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one day.
Speaker 1:And they're going to be huge.
Speaker 2:I would have to be so huge for these. That's like I'm going to be. I'm gonna be six, eight and four hundred pounds. I was gonna say I'd have to be three inches taller and 75 pounds of muscle heavier for these to be like fitted yeah, you got it or maybe just like a hundred pounds of bad weight just keep going yeah one way or the other yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:yeah, maybe if I was just like a soft 325, I could fill these out. I don't think I'm not trying to do that. I can't imagine how terrible I would feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why.
Speaker 2:Being a soft, just like you're not taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel that when I don't like for a week, I can't imagine if Like. I just would not. It would not be good for me. Yeah, I can't imagine if like I just would not. It would not be good for me. Yeah, we're not going to try it, we'll go there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, do we have?
Speaker 2:any emails? Yeah, we got some emails we got some questions, matt's prepared. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:We're going into winter, which during this time our dogs don't normally shed really, and going into summer and going into winter they always shed a little more.
Speaker 2:I have hair on me yeah, well, I also shaved, yeah oh yeah I shaved her, so she's got some loose, some lucys. I washed her but and then I also tried to run the comb through. But they really hate it when I run the, the comb through their hair. Yeah, it's probably because I'm not very patient.
Speaker 1:Give us some emails, my dude.
Speaker 2:Alrighty Emails time guys.
Speaker 2:All right Question is this, provided you're comfortable discussing it, I know you all have talked about having different religious and political views from some of your family and friends, and it sounded like you are all able to have good relationships with them despite this, but I'm curious how you handle it, or think you would handle it, if it hasn't ever been an issue for you when it comes to your kids. Since going through our own deconstruction and having our daughter now 15 months old, my husband and I have become incredibly aware of how many comments are made by our family and friends that encourage Christianity and conservatism as the only right ways. It is so important for us to provide a safe space for our daughter to explore anything and everything that may resonate with her, and we worry that some of our loved ones, even with the best intentions, will be doing just the opposite. Unfortunately, they aren't currently open-minded enough to hear our perspective or be willing to understand the potentially negative effects that they could have, rather than they believe.
Speaker 2:Raising a God-fearing girl I hate this statement is the only way we wouldn't be doing her a disservice. This statement is the only way we wouldn't be doing her a disservice. So how are we balancing having our little ones surrounded by people that love them but may not be the best influences on their developing minds? We'd love to hear your thoughts, love and appreciate you too.
Speaker 1:We do not have that many people. We have a lot of people in our life that have different views. We do not have a lot of people in our life who feel the need to have those views pushed on anyone else. Yeah, like I think that that's a really. And I also would like to say, like we have very few, very few. I can't think of any close friends or family that we have that like we actively didn't align with over like the election or things like that Like close friends, friends, people that we talk to on a weekly or more basis sure.
Speaker 1:I can't think of anybody I can think of, like some people we see a couple times a year, people we've known, like I've known since my childhood, who I have relationships with and things um, and I I have been having conversations with them too, but I don't know that we run into this specifically and I think that also the friends of ours that feel strongly I'm going to let you talk or the family that feel strongly in these kinds of beliefs. I have been very loud in terms of what I believe and what my views are, and so everybody has been very conscious to ask me what I find appropriate and they kind of tiptoe around, like it happened this week, and I'll use this week.
Speaker 1:as an example, my sister had a nativity scene that she was setting up for Christmas at her house. And she was like I don't really know how it like gets set up this and that, and my, my daughter was there and she asked, like what is this? And my sister like looked at me wide-eyed I'm like it's the scene of baby Jesus. Like, like at the like, I'm like you can explain a nativity scene.
Speaker 2:Like you know there's a difference between explaining what it is and like trying to um, I guess, project like a value, right and only way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I think we're big on educating all perspectives, all perspectives, and I think that maybe has to be your, your direction going forward and you may have to, unfortunately, if you have a lot of people in your life that are projecting this as like a this is the correct way. This is the only way that I think the least offensive or like jarring way that you can approach that with people is to say it is okay if you teach this as what you practice. We are trying to teach our child like all of the perspectives, because I think it's unrealistic, especially if you are in a family or in a social situation where you are going to have a lot of viewpoints that are different than yours, that they, your kid, will never be exposed to those. I think it's important to be having open and honest conversations with your kids.
Speaker 1:I also think that if you live in the United States, especially middle America or smaller town America or southern America, like I would say, really across the states for the most part in a lot of areas, I think you're doing your kid a huge disservice to shield them from Christianity and not teach them about Christianity in some capacity, because that is going to do them a disservice, because they are going to engage and interact with a lot of people who are Christians and have that faith, and so I think for me it's been important, like religious studies are important to me. I don't know that my kids are quite old enough yet that I'm diving into anything.
Speaker 1:But this year, like I have talked to her about what Hanukkah is, I have talked to her about what Christmas is, we've talked about, like how there are different beliefs and different stories about how the world began and people practice what resonates with them. Like I talked to her about that stuff Maybe not in the way I just worded it.
Speaker 2:It's very high level for her.
Speaker 1:She's three at this point and so. But I don't think it's a bad thing for her to feel like, oh, the Jesus that they learn all about. They told me that he loves me. I'm like, okay, like that's not. I don't know that I don't find alarming and I think that if the education on those things has come from me first of like, this is what Judaism is, this is what Christianity is, things has come from me first, of like this is what Judaism is, this is what Christianity is, and we've covered some of the religions that she's more likely to encounter and my son's obviously much too young to understand any of it yet.
Speaker 1:He's got a tenuous grasp on the English language at all. I hope that if we've had some of those conversations, they're more likely to come to me to talk about it and break it down further and ask those questions, because at the end of the day, this is maybe a really hot take for people who find themselves in the same place as Matt and I and don't consider themselves religious or I don't know any of like practicing any kind of um formal religion. Yeah, uh, I don't care if my kids in coming years become religious. I hope that they would never become hateful. I hope they would never become closed minded. But I don't think those things are exclusively um, they're not inherent to religion.
Speaker 2:That's what I was looking for Like if you, if you look at the values that are in the Bible, primarily the newer Testament, that's what most people are riding on. Anyway, if you get too old Testament, it gets a.
Speaker 2:Daisy biblical in a very different way, um, but I mean, if you look at the values that are actually talked about in the Bible, it's there. They're mostly about being a good person and generous and kind and, um, forgiving all good things that I think are important for people, religious or not, um, but, like really your, your struggle is going to be with people trying to project more than that, or project how that needs to look, and so, yeah, what I think about is like there's there's going to be a point at some where where our kid is going to learn more about Christianity or she's going to be told about Christianity from a very definite viewpoint of a peer or a peer's parent or something like that.
Speaker 2:And, um, I hope at that point she, she comes to us and asks us about it and I will be very honest about what I believe, without being disrespectful to what other people believe. It's like okay, I don't necessarily believe that as a literal or direct effect on our lives or interpretation, in whatever capacity, but there are people that live this way and that is fulfilling for them and it gives a guideline.
Speaker 1:The beauty of living in America is that we have those freedoms. I mean, that's one of the things about our country, regardless of like where things are right now, regardless of like where things are right now. I'm really proud of living where we live because what it is built on is having those freedoms for people to practice and live how they see fit and what feels right to them. Um, and I think that that is really cool and I, I don't know, I don't think there's protecting your kids from that the same way Like goes both ways. To me, it's the same thing as all of the devout christians in my life who want to protect their children from me because I'm not religious.
Speaker 2:I'm like, well, that's wildly offensive and it's a little funny because we don't have anything to put on them no, not at all um the one thing if we had a wildly different like religion.
Speaker 1:But it is wildly different to them.
Speaker 2:Sure Like it not existing is, but we're just not yeah.
Speaker 1:I know, but it doesn't seem like that big to us. But it's a big difference in general.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I, I don't know, I don't know how helpful this was. I think that it just happens Like you have to be prepared for that to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, if I think, your best bet here going forward as they get older um is that you stress the very good values that are in the Bible. When you're around those people, you stress the forgiveness and the kindness and the charity. All of that stuff bone up on that part of the Bible. Emphasize that and make sure that the people that you're dealing with are using that correctly.
Speaker 2:That they're applying it universally in their life, because that's, I think, going to be a lot better than trying to combat people on religion, because they have God on their side. So that's really tough to compete with, and so you're just going to have to be really good at understanding what's really said in there and what's not really said in there, and so, when it comes to values that you differ on, maybe find some biblical references that don't necessarily mean what people think they mean.
Speaker 1:And as parents to daughters, you cannot protect them from what they're going to be told that they are. You just can't. I know we want to.
Speaker 2:Even without religious projection, it's put on our kid already.
Speaker 1:That's what I was going to say. It is going. She is going to hear that she's only valuable for one thing at some point, from someone in some context. She is going to watch the movies. She is going to go into the gas station and have the cat calling. She is going to have vile things. I hope not.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying I wish any of those things on to anybody's daughter but as somebody who I feel like overall has come out with fairly minor things compared to other friends and who has been in situations that I've been sexually assaulted, I've been in situations where I've been made to feel very uncomfortable by men and I I am somebody who was raised very naive. There were a lot of things that weren't talked about to me not intentionally, like it was, but I just didn't understand. Regardless, they're going to encounter those things, and so it's more about having the conversations and preparing them to navigate them and have the resilience and the strength in themselves to move forward through those things and to be able to process through the feelings and to have safe spaces to come to, to talk to, about it and to be able to decide whether they align with whatever tells them. People, tell them the world should or shouldn't be.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's unfortunate. I don't want it to be that way, but it is, and I don't think sheltering girls from it. Not that that's what you were saying. You were even trying to do in the email but in any regard. That's just where I go with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sheltering your kid from the world is not a long-term strategy.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Because at some point they'll go out on their own and they will be exposed to it, whether you like it or not.
Speaker 1:And it is a world of hurt to have to figure it out on your own.
Speaker 2:On the fly in the real world, yeah.
Speaker 1:It is a world of hurt and eventually you do have to in most cases. I mean sure, I'm sure you can think of it, you know. But is there another email?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know what else to to. I'm now just like jabbering on good luck to you again, I think.
Speaker 2:Stress the good and really break down and evaluate the rest. Um, hey, joe and matt, it's a long one, so bear with me. I'll be moving from college in a few months and moving up to northwest arkansas to live closer to my boyfriend. I'm so excited to finally live near him. We've been long distance since we went to college. I'll be moving from college in a few months and moving up to Northwest Arkansas to live closer to my boyfriend. I'm so excited to finally live near him. We've been long distance since we went to college in 21,.
Speaker 2:But I'm sad about leaving my friends and family behind and I'm nervous, slash scared, about meeting new friends and forming a new community separate from my boyfriend. I don't know anyone other than him in the area and I like to consider myself an introverted extrovert. I love meeting new people, but only when I'm in a comfortable environment and with people I'm comfortable with. Also, without being in school, I won't have a ton of opportunities where I'm constantly interacting with people around my age or in the same life stages as me as I've had for the last 16 years. Any tips for making friends? Post-grad Bonus points, if it's specific to the area.
Speaker 1:So many opportunities here to meet people. There are so many events that go on here to meet people. There are so many events that go on. There are like, if you follow, I'm trying to think of what um, nwa newbies is a good account for new people who've moved here, who share a ton of different events going on in the area and probably other people that follow them would be in a similar boat.
Speaker 1:Definitely Um any kind of events like. It really depends on what your interests are Like if you like to work out, finding a fitness class and going to the same fitness class consistently.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's a really good call.
Speaker 1:I think it's a great way to meet people in the area who have similar interests to you, um, but but that goes for literally any interest, like get involved in a um.
Speaker 2:I know the botanical garden. Right, you're probably gonna be a lot of old people, but like but old people make great old people are great like we have the best, we have the sickest neighbors yeah, they're retired, our neighbors all have kids our age and I would consider all of them friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I very much enjoy their presence and being around them Plus they're like bonus grandparents without the baggage Just out of college pure. Like I would say, fitness classes. Following accounts like NWA newbies, I'm trying to think there are more than that. They're just like not coming top of mind to me and not being afraid to put yourself out there and go to things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Work can be hit or miss, but that's always a. If you are working a job, you'll be around people.
Speaker 1:I have found Northwest Arkansas to be a community full of people trying to build community.
Speaker 2:And it's a lot of transplants because it is a growing area and so especially up in Rogers, bentonville it's it's attracted a lot of people from everywhere, and so you won't be the only person here without roots.
Speaker 1:Also, don't expect it to happen overnight. Like, give yourself time and, you know, try not to make rash judgments over the first year that you've been here of like I feel this way. I feel that way because relationships and community take time to develop and so people that you know only a little bit could end up being some of the nearest and dearest to you. You just don't know it yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it takes time and just, and lots of people already have community and so they're not necessarily looking for it, and so you'll have to work your way in over time. But yeah, clubs, uh, I think there's intramural sports here, like there's um. I don't know if it's called intramural.
Speaker 1:I guess it's an adult but there are a lot of adult league sports um that I think are cool. There are a lot of cool like crafting and um hobby style, regular events and stuff in this area as well.
Speaker 2:I still like workout class. That's just people that have you're going to have a shared experience, whether it's hard or relaxing or whatever, and you get to see each other. Some people just aren't into working out, though. Fair enough.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm always like I don't know about that, but I feel like you made friends in your not close friends, but you weren't looking for close friends, like I think if you would have been in my yoga class in your yoga class yeah, like you had reoccurring people that you saw every week and I think if you were attempting to build relationships, there were probably people there had been a handful of ladies that I'd been friends with, yeah you know what?
Speaker 2:we chopped it up before class yeah, especially as, especially as the only guy that was in, yeah.
Speaker 1:So maybe that's not the best example After about eight months.
Speaker 2:they're like oh, you're like really doing this. Huh, yeah, you're like, yep, just here trying to get flexible Checking to my brain a little. Also, they recommend Fable. You use StoryGraph.
Speaker 1:Oh, I have. This person is letting you know that Fable's a. You use StoryGraph this person is letting you know that Fable's a people have told me a lot about Fable and I know people do book clubs via Fable. I'm really partial to StoryGraph because it is small business, black woman owned and just like really cool, but I should look into some of those other ones that people have recommended.
Speaker 2:I think StoryGraph's really working for you.
Speaker 1:It has worked very well for me.
Speaker 2:I like it a lot Very partial. But maybe there's better ones.
Speaker 1:But Fable has very like I think people use Fable for really different reasons. Like I think people do like book clubs and things like that through Fable which is not how. Storygraph's used.
Speaker 2:It's more like organizing community.
Speaker 1:It's more of a social media, I think okay don't quote me on any of that, you guys, because I have never used the app.
Speaker 2:Sure fair enough, one more one more quick, light question for you. Joe always says she never remembers words of the week except akimbo. Matt, how many words from word of the week do you remember?
Speaker 1:um, we didn't do a word of the week this week we didn't do a word of the week, should we? I think a lot of the words. Part of the problem is they're already in your vocabulary yeah, it's not so much.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I like to pick out a word that I haven't seen and then I'm pretty confident you haven't seen it, but yeah, they don't. That's so hard for me because probably 75 of them, like, are words that if I saw them I would know what they meant. Uh, at the very least in context. But I'm, I'm really bad. I always talk about like I don't have good memory. I don't have good recall. I have good memory. I don't have good recall, I have good memory, I have a very good memory and I have very bad recall. Like, what it takes to prompt a memory out of me has to be very specific, and so, like, if I'm writing something and I need a word that really describes what I'm, I'm looking for, I can probably pull up a word.
Speaker 1:And remember that it was from word of the week.
Speaker 2:Maybe. Yeah, I might remember that I did it in Word of the Week, but like if you asked me to name 10 words of the week, I bet I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1:I couldn't.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, fair, but you're learning the words of the week often for the first time, so I really struggle Words have never, you know, I really struggled with language.
Speaker 1:I started in French when I was 11 years old and it was so hard for me. English was hard for me. I am just not a language gal. I really I'll never stop saying it. I should probably talk to somebody. I really think I might be dyslexic or something like it.
Speaker 2:I really really do.
Speaker 1:Um, the older I've gotten and the things that I struggle with I like, and I know it doesn't make sense because I'm such a reader and I don't have a problem in that regard. So maybe it's not, maybe it's a different word that falls under that same kind of category, but something I'm like auditorily, how I Well, I think it is an auditory issue, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they've.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like the name. I'm trying to think of an example. Like some names are the same to me because they're both five letters and they have an equal number of consonant and vowels, they won't sound anything like each other Interesting.
Speaker 2:But when I?
Speaker 1:see them in my head.
Speaker 2:It's not even the same consonants and vowels. No, because there is a whole thing where, like, the letters in the middle of a word are not very no, no, it's not about it being the same because if you read those like paragraphs where they write all the words and only the first letter and the last letter are the same and all the middle ones are jumbled up like that, read it and well, that has a c in it.
Speaker 1:But like zach and matt, it wouldn't be because you are Matt, but like those would be they have, like, some sort of value.
Speaker 2:that is the same.
Speaker 1:Like they add up to the same in my brain, and so then I can't remember which. And they're not really related to other people in any capacity. It's why, when I was a kid, I used to call a satellite a pilot. Okay, Because something In the sky Like like, no, like a satellite, not in the sky, but like a satellite like a satellite dish. Yeah got it I confused that with the word pilot. Because of what letters?
Speaker 2:it's not going to make sense because it's not a system in the terms of like that I can explain to people.
Speaker 1:but like those two words got mixed up in my head because of when I learned them and then what vowels are in them, it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:The more you talk about it, the less I'm understanding. I know.
Speaker 1:But that's why I think that that has to be some kind of something.
Speaker 2:Just how you process language or sound is horrible, I don't know about horrible.
Speaker 1:There's something wrong, different, different no, there's definitely differently abled in the words it made language when we would do take verbs and we would conjugate them. Is that right?
Speaker 2:sure I'm so bad at like the formal understanding of English.
Speaker 1:Oh, the only reason I have so much of it in my head is because that was something I had to study.
Speaker 2:Gotcha.
Speaker 1:It was so hard for me. Like it was so hard for me. I mean, there are very few subjects in school. I got through chemistry. I got through like not like I was acing or getting 100 things, yeah, but I did not have to, like I could get away with not doing much fair english and french gotcha you would have thought I was an alien had never heard any of these languages you thought it was esl definitely, yeah, definitely not.
Speaker 1:somebody like I was verbal very young, I was reading very young. I don't know. I really do think. Anyway, none of y'all need this much detail on this.
Speaker 2:Well, do you want a word of the week? Sure Eschew.
Speaker 1:Eschew Spell it for me.
Speaker 2:E-S-C-H-E-W. E-s-c-h-e-w.
Speaker 1:Does that look familiar to you?
Speaker 2:oh god, I didn't even hear the words, I was not even seeing after you spelled it I still wasn't it starts with an e, okay, a shoe no idea to avoid something because it is not right, proper or practical.
Speaker 1:Ah, I do a lot of eschewing.
Speaker 2:Eschewing yeah, you eschew things that you find impractical.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Or just inconvenient.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, or hard for me to understand, yeah, or that I feel like are going to embarrass me because I don't properly understand it. Fair enough, which is most social, cultural references funny, unless it's tiktok.
Speaker 2:You're up on those yeah, I am and I'm not yeah, the problem is the people are in our peer groups are not no, definitely not.
Speaker 1:Nobody we hang out with is on social media at all.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Which is actually kind of fun, because I'll talk about my job and people are like what? Yeah, it's fascinating to them.
Speaker 2:It really is.
Speaker 1:Well, on that note, we love you guys, yeah, and if you're wanting if you're missing, seeing us every week instead of you know whatever.
Speaker 2:Once a month.
Speaker 1:Once a month. You can subscribe via the Patreon. Yeah, we love you. We're happy to be back.
Speaker 2:To our Patreon folks. If you have voicemails, emails, texts, all that stuff, hit us up and we'll answer them in the next few weeks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, We'll only have a couple episodes until holiday break and then we're back baby.
Speaker 2:For sure, until holiday break, and then we're back. Baby for sure, all right. And if you're someone who is monthly, just, uh, if you and you have a question, let us know. And, uh, if you want to answer on a monthly episode, we'll make sure it gets done then, yep, talk soon. Bye.