Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Balancing Acts and Emotional Facts
A new twist on a Barenaked Ladies song, 2000's music references, and the general chaos of getting back on the bike is how we kick things off this week on Oversharing! We're back from our five-week hiatus and spilling all about our chaotic schedules—Jo's whirlwind travels and Matt holding down the fort. Plus, we're making a big announcement about the direction of the podcast.
This week we’re super excited to be answering questions from Husband PSA’s audience! We address how to keep love alive with jam-packed schedules, setting boundaries post-breakup, the importance of self-care, and the role of emotional intelligence in relationships. Whether you’re navigating parenthood or embracing single life in your 30s, we’ve got stories and advice to keep you inspired and connected. Tune in for a heartfelt, laughter-filled journey through love, life, and everything in between.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing. We're back, baby.
Speaker 1:We're back.
Speaker 2:It's been five weeks. I don't actually know that song, it's been.
Speaker 1:I don't know how it starts now that you're saying it Now that I ruined it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I broke it.
Speaker 1:It's been one week since you looked at me.
Speaker 2:I was going to say that's your song.
Speaker 1:I think it's one week.
Speaker 2:One week sounds good to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, five weeks? It's definitely not five weeks.
Speaker 2:It's been five weeks.
Speaker 1:for us, one week by the bare naked ladies.
Speaker 2:If that's the name of the song, I'm gonna guess it's one week I think it is like I think the song's called one week, then I would bet that it's that it's one week we're gonna have to look that up later.
Speaker 1:It's been. That's like a song that you can recognize right away uh, my friends in high school had a band and at our senior party they performed that live and they, like, knew all the words and it was very impressive. Yeah, we did not which was weird, because it's not like that was a song of our time.
Speaker 2:No At all, not at all.
Speaker 1:Because that's what 90s.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like healthy 90s.
Speaker 2:Pretty sure.
Speaker 1:Or early 2000s, you think?
Speaker 2:My 90s. Knowledge is not strong.
Speaker 1:Mine's not great either for being totally transparent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you've got a blend. You've got an 80s, 90s.
Speaker 1:Not 80s, but I couldn't tell you a song from the 80s. But what was?
Speaker 2:popular in the 90s, was popular with your sisters, and so you got some trickle down yeah.
Speaker 1:You have a slightly older than our age interest pool I definitely don't go younger. No, Well, you do now but not I don't know if that's even true. Okay, like I see, I wasn't, though, into a lot of things that our peers were into, like I wasn't that into like Britney Spears and NSYNC and all of that.
Speaker 2:I also wasn't, but that's because I was listening to like blue oyster coat cassette tapes that my dad had in the basement.
Speaker 1:Yeah. All his CDs got stolen out of his truck my parents listened to modern music, but my mom was more into like Chingy and Beyonce Chingy and she loved Chingy.
Speaker 2:A name I just haven't thought of pretty much ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but when it?
Speaker 2:comes up, it really it has the memories attached.
Speaker 1:So I like the way you do that right there Right there. And we're all chilling at the Holiday Inn. Which other ones did he have? He had quite a few.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:He had some bangers there for a second chameleon air chameleon air wasn't that the album?
Speaker 2:no, that's another artist no, what am I think? Yeah, that's no, that was the same era, but not yeah, chameleon air.
Speaker 1:Uh, oh, what did he sing?
Speaker 2:he said yeah, I can't. It's all all runs together, it's all just like.
Speaker 1:You know who I think about a lot.
Speaker 2:Who.
Speaker 1:Is Mims. I think of Mims a lot in my spare time.
Speaker 2:A lot. Yeah, I do Like how often's a lot.
Speaker 1:Not necessarily, I guess him. But I think about Move If you Wanna. If you Wanna, if you Wanna Move, move Like. I feel like that had such a moment in our high school years.
Speaker 2:What a start to the podcast. This is not where I thought we were going at all, but uh, and also, what other song did he have? That was so big dude you're that wasn't his big song you're the one who needs to like know all this.
Speaker 1:This is why I'm hot this is why I'm hot. Yeah, that was like his, but I didn't think that was his best song by a long shot. He had other songs.
Speaker 2:You were deep cuts only, Mims.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think there are deep cuts, of Mims. I don't think he like, did he?
Speaker 2:keep coming out with music. The Mims the real Mims stands out. They're going to come after you.
Speaker 1:I mean rude. Well, they probably are avid oversharing with the Obereeves listeners.
Speaker 2:There's a ton of crossover. I have no doubt that it's like the Mims and oversharing.
Speaker 1:Mims deep cut.
Speaker 2:Then it's just a circle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2:It's Mims fans only here.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so we've been gone for five weeks. I'm really glad we took the last five weeks off, because it was a really chaotic time for us. I've been back and forth between Missouri and Arkansas. A ton I've been in the car. A ton I drove back and forth between Springfield and here at least four different times this past month. And then I also went up to Kansas City and I went down to Brinkley, down to Brinkley.
Speaker 2:Arkansas. You traveled the state and the state above us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did a lot of car time by myself this month and Matt's been really holding down for it, but I think we're now more into a normal schedule moving into fall. We're excited about getting back on a normal track with the podcast. We listened to all of y'all's advice and we want to go ahead and start today by telling you that we are going to change the way the podcast is structured. We are not changing the branding. We're not changing the cover. You all were really tied to those things.
Speaker 1:We are, however, going to be changing to a Patreon model for the podcast and I'm going to go ahead and just put everything out there right up front, so y'all aren't stressing. It's going to be $4 a month to get the same access of what we've been putting out. So episodes once a week. However, if, for some reason, that is not in your means, the first Wednesday of every month, we will still be having an episode that comes out like normal um, but just to make it more accessible and doable yeah for us to help us pay for the editing of the podcast, to help us I don't know, just like make this work because we really do enjoy doing it.
Speaker 2:I think the goal is actually with with that is that if we can pay for the editing and like make it a more honestly, like just even out the time and resources it takes, we may have more availability to make more content. And so it's like, okay, if we can make, if we can hire somebody to edit it and like that's paid for by the podcast, then maybe we can make more episodes and then we can have a more fleshed out free tier and paid tier. So that's really the goal.
Speaker 1:That's the goal and we're just, we're really open to seeing how it goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We will have that all linked down below, but we will still be here for you guys First Wednesday of every month, yep, and we would love it if you would join us. We tried to make it really accessible um to everybody with the price point for less than two Snickers a month.
Speaker 2:You can hear us.
Speaker 1:That's what Matt keeps saying, which I don't really understand.
Speaker 2:I mean that's a pretty good deal on Snickers, I feel like two for four, like that's not gas station pricing. No, those aren't King size.
Speaker 1:No, no, but it's definitely less than a coffee a month, which was my big thing.
Speaker 2:Um, we're not looking to you know, get rich off of it no, no, definitely not if it happens, that would be awesome, but I don't think it's going to no, if that's the case, we'll rework things and we'll uh we're not looking to do anything. We'll redistribute how it works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if suddenly there are way more of you here than we expect on that paid tier, we'll go back to the drawing board and we will also talk with you guys, because we got lots of great feedback from you all and that's kind of how we came to this conclusion is that was the number one thing. You guys were so supportive and said you guys really enjoy listening every week, you don't want it to go away, you're happy to be a part of a paid subscription, and I know that's not everybody, but it was the majority of feedback that we got and so I really appreciate and value everybody that took the time to DM and talk with me. And we're also excited because today we are working with Husband PSA.
Speaker 2:Hence the hats, I really should have worn my dad's don't babysit hat, like that would have been a primo one for you, saying that I've been watching the kids all month. Yeah, that would have really worked.
Speaker 1:You have Matt's been babysitting.
Speaker 2:A flawless integration.
Speaker 1:No, I, it's funny because that doesn't even cross my mind to say that no, I it's funny because that doesn't even cross my mind to say that. No, but I was really young the first time my sister somebody said that in front of me to my sister of like well, why don't you just have their dad babysit? And my sister came on. It probably wasn't that crazy, but to me she came like unglued, like in my memory of it. Her eyes like bulged out of her head and she like exploded like a bobblehead.
Speaker 2:That just like and I don't know if I was there for that or if I'd just been retold that story enough, probably. It's never been in my lexicon long before we had kids. I knew never to say that I was babysitting our kids, yeah so but like would you ever say that you're?
Speaker 1:you wouldn't though not with any intent, for sure right, like it doesn't feel right to say that, does it?
Speaker 2:no, I mean as a stay-at-home parent. No, like definitely not. But there were there, it could have happened before. It's definitely not gonna happen now, just language wise, yeah. I'm a hyper specific language guy we feel really honored.
Speaker 1:Isaac reached out a couple months ago and asked if we would want to do an episode answering questions from their audience, and we were really excited to do it. I have been long followers of Allie and Isaac. Love them so much. I think Allie has done such a great job documenting her journey into motherhood and really being vulnerable and honest, and I think Isaac has been such a good representation of what it looks like to be an involved dad yeah, and we just don't see enough of that, and so I've been a really big fan of them for a long time. So when he reached out, I was like a little excited.
Speaker 1:And so we have a list of questions they're also just entertaining they are very entertaining in a way that I don't think I could ever be um, they do, they just make me laugh. Yeah, I think ally is one of the funniest people on tiktok. Yeah, hot, take um, she does, she just makes. I think that I just relate to her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to me she says what you're thinking, but in a funny way she says what I'm thinking, and she says it in a funny way, and she also says it honestly and vulnerably, and a lot of times I'm not somebody that will say those things out loud, and so I just always feel very seen by her content. Yeah, so if you guys don't follow Alison Cooch or Isaac um, you should. I'm sure everybody that listens follows them.
Speaker 2:It's familiar with their game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys are probably familiar, but uh, okay, do you want to go ahead and just head straight into questions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should, let's do it.
Speaker 1:So the number one question.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:The first question what are each of our love languages? One question, all right. The first question what are each of our love languages? And do we have a hard time loving each other in our love languages and not like our own? I said that wrong. Like do I?
Speaker 2:have a hard time expressing the other's love language. Yes, I mean, I do, for sure.
Speaker 1:My love language is words of affirmation words of affirmation. For sure, that's probably my number one, and then quality time and acts of service. I would say tie for two.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Uh, and then physical touch. The only one that I'm really not that into is gifts, Really.
Speaker 2:The other four you'll take any of the other four as much as you can, pretty close, as much as you can get them, yeah.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:That's like. As much as that sounds reductive or whatever, it's absolutely true. You're like I will take any of those four love languages. I appreciate all of them and I would like all of them.
Speaker 1:Yes, if they're available. I'd like gifts too.
Speaker 2:Sure, I'd like all of them.
Speaker 1:I don't think that it makes you feel loved. No, I think that that's the one I value the least yeah, um yeah, I think that I value an act of service as a gift yes more than I do a good gift for you would be an act of service.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would be. I did this thing for you. I was thinking of you. Yes, it wouldn't necessarily be like, look at this thing and you'd be like, did you do what I needed you to do?
Speaker 1:yeah, uh, and then mats, I want to like guess quality time quality time's up there and gifts it's become more evident that I think gifts.
Speaker 2:I appreciate gifts I also. They also make me uncomfortable. I don't know what that is, but being loved makes me uncomfortable, but you know what.
Speaker 1:I think that love language. I don't think there is one that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Correct, you don't like any of them.
Speaker 2:Words of affirmation make me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Extremely uncomfortable. Physical touch makes you uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not like.
Speaker 1:I feel like we have a good relationship in terms of, like, intimacy and physical touch yeah, but I don't feel like you're a physical touch person with many other people.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it, like there's a time and a place but it's not a go-to for me, like none of them are instinctual or natural for me. I would say, like acts of service and quality time are the ones that I can do the best for people or that feel the most intuitive. The other one's not as much, but yeah, I think it's quality time and gifts. It feels weird to say I don't love that it's there, but I do appreciate a gift time to time.
Speaker 1:What makes you feel like you don't love that it's there.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It just feels like material materialistic.
Speaker 1:I don't think so, though, because you're not just a gift for a gift. You love an intentional gift.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something I'll use.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Something practical that makes my life easier. So it, yeah, something I'll use. Yeah, something practical that makes my life easier. So it's interesting. I think gifts and acts of service like can kind of overlap with each other love languages have kind of been.
Speaker 1:They're kind of a touchy topic because they've kind of been debunked in some ways. Not that there's not value in the concept, but it's kind of been debunked to say that, like, most people need all of them in order to feel like a full yeah. You can't be without like words of affirmation right, like that will affect you, while a lot of people tend to be good at one of these categories, um and better than others, or like receive them better. Really a good balance of all of them okay, is that checks out?
Speaker 1:good for everyone yeah so do you feel like we struggle? I, I feel like I don't feel like I struggle as much matching your love languages. I feel like you really struggle accepting yeah. Yeah, that's probably true, yeah. But I know I say that, I know that that's really a vulnerable thing to say, but I say that out loud because I think that that is cultural and I think it is a lot of with how we raise men.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, there's definitely not a lot of like well, this is how to express and receive love and gratitude. That is taught and accepted for men. Yeah, that's true and not. I don't feel like my parents did like a terrible job with that. It just is not culturally um accepted like or approved I don't know what the right word for that is but yeah, it's not um prioritized for sure. And so you grow up just kind of in a state of denial until you get into committed relationships and then you're like oh well, I'm gonna have to get better at this or I'm not gonna be in a committed relationship that long yeah so yeah, yeah, there's like it goes in seasons too, but what was the point?
Speaker 2:is it that I'm bad at love languages? Is that a question?
Speaker 1:that's not the point.
Speaker 2:Okay, question number two best advice for newlyweds oh well, I mean we always have the caveat like newlyweds, have you lived together? Because the biggest step to me is not being married. That, honestly, in my opinion, doesn't affect the relationship as much as you might think it would Like you still have think it depends on.
Speaker 1:See, I think that that's a hot way to word it. Okay, because I think that you're dismissing what marriage means to other people okay so for a lot of people, I think it depends on what marriage includes for you. So for us, we lived together before we got married and that's where Matt's going with. This is the moving in together and choosing to combine our lives was a lot harder than the getting married part.
Speaker 1:But, for a lot of people. They choose to wait, to move in together and to make a lot of other big choices until they are married, and so it really depends on those factors, in my opinion. Yeah, because I think that moving in together was a lot harder than getting married. But a lot of people are doing those two things at the same time.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:So my advice stays the same, no matter what, implement a weekly meeting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that does work, like if you're not doing it. I suppose, even if you cohabitate and you're not doing that, it will help you going forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a good call so implement a time each week that you can come to each other with any kind of problems that you're having with your partner and you can bring it to the table with no judgment and like a calm mind. Bring it to the table with no judgment and like a calm mind. Um, I think that that's just really helpful. To not fight and elevate and then start bringing up things to one another. That's never a good scenario, and so having a designated time that you can sit down in a calm atmosphere and say, hey, the dishwasher being X, y, z all of this week is really driving me cuckoo bananas.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah. I waited a year to communicate that I needed time to myself, Especially because I was going to a job to work with people and you were working from home by yourself, so you were like awesome Someone's here.
Speaker 1:I was so excited to see you.
Speaker 2:Like let's spend all of our time together, and I was like I spent all of my time with people already. Like let's spend all of our time together and I was like I spent all of my time with people already. So I would like a couple hours where I don't know anyone else exists in the world.
Speaker 2:And I just like didn't tell you that for about a year, year and a half, and then that exploded. And so don't do that Like just communicate what works for you, because living together is hard. You're going from having your own space and your own time well, and if people don't know that you're having an issue. You can't expect them to resolve it no, especially if you pretend that you're not having an issue right and eventually it will. It will boil over. Just speaking from experience yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Somebody asked how do you manage housework when you both have full-time jobs?
Speaker 2:My job isn't that full-time.
Speaker 1:No, matt works part-time and is helping out around the house, so we definitely have that, but there was a season in our lives where we were both working full-time. And it was a lot, yes, and we really had to dedicate a day on the weekends, I feel like to keep up with stuff, and I also feel like that was when we made the decision to hire somebody to come clean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So when we were both working full time, I think the first time we hired somebody was only once a month.
Speaker 2:That sounds right.
Speaker 1:They came in and deep cleaned because that was really as much as we could stretch the budget. But that was an incredible investment for us because the deep cleaning just was something that neither of us wanted to do and we were both like you do it. No, you do it, you know.
Speaker 2:You know we weren't, but no, it's just like stuff didn't get done. And you're like, hey, did you do this thing that I know you didn't do? And vice versa, and you're like, yeah, I guess just nobody's cleaning toilets right now, so if somebody comes over, we have like toilets no, but like, just that was an example of a thing to me it was more like I cleaned toilets. I will say that yes.
Speaker 1:The bathrooms were always that something I can manage, but it was the dusting and the baseboards and moving the furniture around in order to get underneath.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was things like that that I felt like really yeah, having somebody like deep clean, like the grout.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the toilet got cleaned. That's the easiest thing to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But like I was not taking a toothbrush to the grout, I was just using it as an example.
Speaker 2:I just felt like it wasn't a very good example. Okay, you felt attacked by the example. That's fair.
Speaker 1:Well, because I feel like that's the only thing I always did.
Speaker 2:Okay, fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 1:Because even with us getting the house deep cleaned once a month, I still had to clean the bathrooms like once a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing is like we could do an okay job maintaining and picking up and doing that stuff, and that's where we dedicated time on the weekends, and then we had somebody deep clean once a month to like, really do the stuff that we had put off too long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's a huge asset, but it's different everywhere, cause I feel like, uh, one of our friends put up a TikTok about this, about hiring people to clean, and that it was a lot more affordable than she thought it was, um, and people kind of weighed in from all over the country. It's a lot less accessible in other places. Like for us it's not. I mean it's not inexpensive, but it's not. I think we paid $120 once a month or something like that $150 once a month when we first started.
Speaker 2:And she came for a couple hours.
Speaker 1:And we were in like a much not this home. We were in a. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think our home was around 1,800 square feet at the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 1,900 square feet, I think.
Speaker 2:And it took her two hours or three hours, yeah, and I think she did most of the rooms yeah, yeah. Most of them pretty sure.
Speaker 1:And I don't know. I just voice all of that to say I understand that it may not be as accessible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, and if you're not going to do that, I think it takes actually separating out the tasks and assigning them, like writing it all down, seeing where your strengths and weaknesses lie, and just having committed roles. Yeah, I agree, some level of accountability is good.
Speaker 1:Do you have any advice for bringing intimacy not necessarily sex back to a marriage after having kids, or would you have any advice for a couple trying to spend time together? I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works a graveyard shift.
Speaker 2:Oh, graveyard shift that. Um yeah, we're just up late at night.
Speaker 1:We had this struggle though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. What are you thinking of?
Speaker 1:When I was working weddings and doing photography full-time and Matt was an engineer, our schedules were very opposite. So Matt would get up at six and he'd be out the door by seven, and he would get back at four 30, and at four 30, I'd be running out the door for my first session of the day, um, and I might have a session or two. I'd be getting back at eight, eight, 30. And then I would go ahead and load everything and back it up for um, making sure pictures were protected, and by then it was 10 o'clock and you were getting ready for bed and I was just starting to edit and kind of get a preview out.
Speaker 2:And then you were working the weekends.
Speaker 1:And then I was working on Saturdays and Sundays doing weddings. Yes yep, and so that was pre-kids. Yes, this was pre-kids. Yes, this was pre-kids, so that's a little bit different, but I will say that's when we initiated showering together every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It was during that time, so in what overlap we had, I would load pictures or whatever, but I would go hop in the shower with Matt and we would talk about our days while he got ready for bed and that was a dangerous shower we had a very small shower at our first home, less than three by three and it had a shelf that if you picked something that you dropped off the floor, it it nearly killed us both at different times.
Speaker 1:You could smoke your head on that I don't did I ever hit my head on it did you not? I don't remember ever hitting my head. I smoked my head at least twice on it.
Speaker 2:There was one time you're like I'm worried that you have a concussion. I was like I'm a little bit worried too, but um yeah, we, we had to.
Speaker 1:It's really tough when your schedules are that incompatible and when I say that that wasn't like sexy time, it was just like what's a? Time for us to connect. Get ready for bed together, talk to each other, whatever yeah um and we designed our house around knowing that's kind of like our dedicated time that we always have together. It does not have to be that like there are so many different things that you could do.
Speaker 1:That just worked for us, because I know some people are like stay away from, like they're very touched out by the end of the day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which the way our shower is set up.
Speaker 2:Now we don't, we have space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have, like, our own individual showers and spaces, but, um, I think having the ability to just have 30 minutes, 25, 30 minutes a day, where you're it's just the two of you and you're talking, is an incredible difference yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think with kids like how that would have worked because of bedtime and like all that stuff. I think it would have been fine.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You would have been doing bedtime because I would have been at sessions. Yeah, and then, when I got home from sessions, you would have been done with bedtime.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so, while I loaded, it'd be the same as our schedule right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, different like it is different, but yeah, I think, I think your opportunities are probably around mealtime and then if there's any window after bedtime of like and check-in or like that meeting we were talking about the mealtime part's hard, because with kids like mealtimes are just way more chaotic than they once were, there's no calm, and so it depends on the ages of your kids.
Speaker 1:Like, if you have little kids, like we're in a season, our kids are little, they're three and 18 months and I think you and I are kind of of the mutual understanding of like they're only this little for a little while. Sooner than later they're going to be in school and things are going to look different, so our mornings will be chaotic in a different way. We'll be getting ready for school and taking them and then, once everybody's at school, maybe we can go on a walk in the morning together. Like things are just going to evolve and ebb and flow.
Speaker 2:They get more independent, and so it may just be a season of like if they are little, which is just a total assumption based on nothing. But if they're little, little, it may just take getting through a season to where they can operate a little more independently and you have.
Speaker 1:if you have an opportunity and you have a village of people who can help you, um, don't be afraid to have somebody come watch the kids for the weekend and go on a little staycation somewhere local, like it doesn't have to be crazy. Sometimes it's just about an overnight somewhere local and getting some time just the two of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think scheduling and prioritizing time is probably just the answer.
Speaker 1:Always yeah.
Speaker 2:If, if it has to be on the calendar, that will still help.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Calendar, that will still help. Yeah, I agree. Okay, decided to break up with my boyfriend of four years. We live together and have plans for next month. Help Cancel them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess what are the plans? That's a tough part.
Speaker 1:I don't think it really matters. I think a lot of people go through breakups and they have flights booked or whatever it really matters. I think a lot of people go through breakups and they have flights booked or whatever it is, and I think it's one of those things that I am somebody that I would never. If I'm planning to break up with somebody, I would never be like, well, we'll still go on this trip together as friends. That's not going to go well for me. I will cross that line.
Speaker 2:No, that'll be a problem.
Speaker 1:I will absolutely cross cross that line. I don't have it in me. It doesn't matter how mad I am at that person if I'm like away out like of my life, you know, on a little trip yeah I'm gonna get swept away by that and it's not gonna be good um so endorphins will be flowing exactly, yeah, I'm always team cancel the trip and yeah, like see what your options are to cancel, like what you can and figure out what the cost is going to be to move out yeah, that the living together part is tough, that's probably.
Speaker 2:That should probably be priority one yeah it's like figuring out your living situation, but I wish we had slightly more detail to go off of I know sometimes those shorter questions are hard with stuff like that.
Speaker 1:But okay, how to not hold resentment and keep score when doing things for the house and kids?
Speaker 2:do they have an answer?
Speaker 1:matt's, really this. This is really hard for you. It is yeah, that's.
Speaker 2:Uh. I grew up in a house that kept score Like it wasn't, but just people knew, and so I have a very neurodiverse family and so part of it is just a black and white thinking of like. Everyone has their own little image of how the world should work and it's like, like I said, very black and white yes or no, and so people people know what has happened and what hasn't happened or what feels like it's happened, hasn't happened, and they have reasons why it's happened and not happened. A lot of it is just framing of like we're on the same team, we're trying to get to the same goal. A lot of it is just framing of like we're on the same team, we're trying to get to the same goal. If it is really inequitable, I think the conversation should be had Like like not that you need to keep score one to one, but if the score is like a hundred to two, that's a problem.
Speaker 2:That's the problem that, like there, there is a limit to not keeping score. That, like there, there is a limit to not keeping score, and so that's where actually making sure everybody's involved and on the same team needs to happen.
Speaker 1:Well, I was going to point out somewhere that we really struggle is I think we are both on one another's team and I'm down for whatever, you're down for whatever. One of us does a better job at making plans and taking advantage of down for whatever, and I think that can be frustrating at times yeah even though, like I, I'm somebody that I make plans with my friends. I, I make plans, I go do things, I keep everything on the calendar. We're very communicative about it, um, whereas you are not as frequently making plans.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:When stuff comes up, you always go and we are 100% in each other's corner for that. But I know sometimes that can be.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know, you've never voiced that, but it's something I've thought about.
Speaker 2:No, you think about stuff a lot, though you worry about stuff like that. I want's something I've thought about. No, you think about stuff a lot, though you worry about stuff like that.
Speaker 1:I want to make sure you're happy, yeah.
Speaker 2:To me that's my own responsibility to make sure that happens, and so if I'm not getting enough of something, it's also my responsibility to communicate that, and if I don't, one thing I've been working on is like that's not anybody's fault but mine.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so I think that's maybe the lesson to take out of. It is like communicate what you need and what you lack.
Speaker 1:Well, I say that to a lot of my mom friends that feel like they don't get as much time out of the house as their husbands.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of our friends, I feel like have the opposite problem their their husband makes plans to go golf or go watch the game at the barbecue joint or whatever Like you know they're always making plans with their friends, whereas moms are like well, I just feel like I never have time to do that and I'm like so make the plans and let them know. Hey, wednesday night. Like I mean, don't do it to impede their plans. If their plans are on the calendar, look at where there aren't plans and make your own.
Speaker 1:yeah, um, it's where that shared calendar thing like comes in yeah, it's like if it's not on the calendar and if you both want to go do something, get a babysitter yep we've done that, like there. There are nights where my friends have been doing something on the same night that it comes up that matt's friends are doing something, and it doesn't happen frequently.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:But we'll go get a sitter and that's a priority to us. I think that we kind of dropped the ball there because that's more of a priority than you and I getting to go out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're bad at that.
Speaker 1:Matt and I are not good daters.
Speaker 2:No. No, we're good when we get to go on a date.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have fun.
Speaker 2:We get a lot of time together though. Yeah, we do Like. We live and work together and we spend literally all of our days, for the most part, around each other. Yes, in some capacity. So kind of a weird yeah we're not the best people for advice in all of that.
Speaker 1:How do you make time for ourselves outside of kids?
Speaker 2:For ourselves.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's what we just kind of described.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to be better at it. I'm bad at it, Very bad at it. I have a difficulty prioritizing my own needs, even if me fulfilling my own needs makes me a better parent and partner. I think that is some of the thinking that you're going to have to do, though is one one of the things that has, and I'm still not executing well on it. But if you want your kids to prioritize their own health and taking care of themselves, they are going to have to see you do it themselves. They are going to have to see you do it. They are not going to just listen to you and watch you not fulfill that as much as I'm sure we all listened to our parents and everything they told us, even the stuff that we saw they weren't doing very well.
Speaker 2:That was sarcastic. Obviously, your kids have to see you committing to these things, and so sometimes it's just a mindset of like I want my kids to see me exercise, so I'm going to prioritize making that happen, and doing that makes me feel better. Again, I'm not doing this, so I would like to be better at it, but those are my thoughts.
Speaker 1:I've made mine non-negotiable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like to where I can't quit on them, working out and some other things. Like I've made a financial commitment of like a gym and somebody to help me and like I kind of had to have a financial stake in it. To where I feel like, oh man, I already Ratchets the accountability up. Yeah, like I definitely need accountability in order to do those things that take care of myself, and so that's what I've done.
Speaker 2:And that's where mine's falling apart is like I used to have a group that I worked out with regularly at these days, at these times, and it happened with or without me, and that's on a break right now, and so I have not held myself accountable and made it a priority, and so it hasn't happened.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's hard um my. My best advice is calendar it like yeah, live by a schedule. Yeah, it's really, and the thing is like, you have to learn to not break commitments to yourself. You need to be able to trust yourself.
Speaker 2:Um, and so often, the only people we don't find ourselves responsible to is ourselves yeah, I know, for me it's very much a like well, I'm gonna try and prioritize everybody else. I don't. Me it's very much a like, well, I'm going to try and prioritize everybody else. I don't think that it's really necessary that, like I can figure it out later and I won't, I don't do it, but I deprioritize my own needs.
Speaker 1:Do you believe, if he wanted to, he would? Could other factors like emotional intelligence be a factor?
Speaker 2:other factors like emotional intelligence, be a factor. I think, generally speaking, it's accurate. Like I don't like going the other way of the phrase, I don't like putting too much leeway in.
Speaker 1:I think if he wanted to he would. Yeah and sure. Maybe his emotional intelligence is really bad and so he doesn't know about it. But like, why do you want to be with somebody that hasn't taken the time to develop their emotional intelligence?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because.
Speaker 1:I don't think emotional intelligence is just. It's not like an IQ that when you're a baby like, oh, that baby's just light years ahead of other people's in terms of intelligence. It is. There is a reason. Women culturally have a lot more emotional intelligence, generally speaking.
Speaker 2:Not because, as men, we demand it. You have to, because we're not going to figure it out.
Speaker 1:That's your job right amen and it's through weaponize incompetence. Yeah, I feel like yeah, I again.
Speaker 2:If he wanted to, he would is a little simplified, like there are nuances to that idea, but if he wanted to, he would, and if he doesn't, you should be able to discuss it yeah, and it should be able to improve.
Speaker 1:I think is maybe the the full picture I agree maybe it's not something that he understands now, but he should be able to learn, and if he can't learn, then you've got an issue I agree with that, because the thing I was going to say is maybe you have some specific expectation in your head of like, oh, I want to be with somebody who wants to make me a boo basket in the fall, so October 1st I'm expecting an entire boo basket of I'm like being really specific with goodies and stuff in it, and then October 1st comes and they didn't do it.
Speaker 1:But, this isn't something you guys have ever talked about or whatever. X, y, z.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's a good situation, for if he wanted to, he would. I think that's a situation where you go hey, growing up, my dad always did this boo basket for my mom moving into the fall, and that's a tradition that I'd like to continue. If you feel like you can take on the responsibility of doing this, and then he can go never heard of a boo basket, like what is that? And then yeah, to me the answer then is that, now that you've equipped him with that information, my expectation is this dude is googling boo basket and is like getting really into curating, creating an experience for you to in to continue a tradition that's important and valuable to you. Yeah, I think that's the. If he wanted to, he would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it gets thrown a lot like on videos of like men going over the top on something and like really doing something, maybe extra yeah, and so it's important to know what is performative and what is not, and what is like specific to somebody else's relationship, wellative and what is not, and what is like a specific to somebody else's relationship well and what you value yeah so, for example, not a gift girl.
Speaker 1:So we've never done really gifts for our anniversary. Not that I would like, not appreciate, like I wouldn't be upset if matt got me a gift, but I don't feel like it's a huge drop of the ball. I'm not like. Oh my gosh, if he wanted to, he would.
Speaker 1:He doesn't love me, he doesn't want to, he won't right, whereas for our anniversary every year I've gotten a hand-drawn card with a really sweet note inside, and Matt's been very intentional throughout the day of like creating a really relaxing environment for us and making everything low stress and making sure there's a babysitter, and like we both work to do things for one another for that, because we know what our priority is. So I think that's what it comes down to.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What are your?
Speaker 2:thoughts. It's communication, it's always communication and so again, if he wanted to, he would. I think is a principle that should be applied, but not literally. Yeah, like it should be a. Some communication has to happen there, I agree.
Speaker 1:But if he, just refuses to, then he might suck. Okay, what topics do you wish you discussed with your partner before having kids?
Speaker 2:do you have answers for this?
Speaker 1:I have things I'm glad we discussed. I really genuinely there are very few things in our lives I feel this way about. I feel really good about the choice that we made when to have kids and where we were when we made that choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I feel I don't think there's ever like a right time, but I think we nailed it in terms of for us and what our wants were.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm glad that we talked about finances. I'm glad that we talked about what our expectations were in terms of what we were financially hoping to do for our kids, because I feel like we're already on the same page of what we want to do when they drive, what opportunities we want them to have in terms of extracurricular activities, how we'd like to be able to help them in college or further education or starting their career, pending what they choose. Like, I feel like we're generally on the same page across all those things, yeah, and I'm really glad we talked about that. I'm really glad we talked about the division of labor.
Speaker 2:That was going to be my answer is really discuss the division of labor and what things are going to look like, especially immediately following, and really there's a couple of different things Before you have kids. I think having a really clear discussion of what being a parent is like, what your priorities are as a parent, what your responsibilities are as a parent because, in all honesty, being a parent, your kids don't have no choice in the matter to be here or not be here, and so we're both of the belief that they don't owe us anything Like. At no point did they opt into our family, opt into our life, and so it's our job to make sure that they are prioritized with that in mind. So discussions about division of labor, discussions of what immediately after birth and in those first few months of postpartum are going to look like I think those are really big and then discussions on parenting philosophy and maybe like parenting style I think a big part, like we have.
Speaker 2:Again, we don't have a lot of things we disagree on fundamentally, and so these discussions usually go pretty well for us. But I can imagine if we did have different ideas on discipline, on how we want to handle behaviors, understanding what is normal at ages to handle behaviors. Understanding what is normal at ages um, that's been something that, like I've had to learn over time is like that's developmentally appropriate for your child to be frustrated and have outbursts at this age like do a lot of that. Prep them for what being a parent is going to look like.
Speaker 2:Prep everybody prep yourself yeah, yourself as a dad, prep yourself. It's not your wife's job to do the research and then fill you in on it?
Speaker 1:No, Like that's a huge thing to me because I feel like Matt did a lot of when we were new parents, looking at me and going, well, I don't know what now and he didn't. I don't think you did that in the way of I was the mom, I feel like you did that in the way of.
Speaker 2:I have six nieces and nephews, and I have older sisters. I feel like you're a subject matter expert. Like is this normal and you'd be like look it up, right? Yes, I might know the answer, but you should figure the answer out on your own too.
Speaker 1:I wasn't that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I just I really wanted you to acquire that and be interested enough in it to acquire the information on your own. That was really important to me, yeah, and you did that. You did and you still do, and I really appreciate and value that, because when we come to the table, like when we have concerns or when something isn't going well parenting wise, or we feel like we're not nailing something, and we come to the table, we've both done reading and we both have ideas and generally like it's really good because we can come together and share research and kind of go from there yeah so um, it doesn't feel like just one of our responsibilities no, yeah, division of labor, and what being a parent is, I think, is the biggies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Somebody said do soon with their first. How to tackle newborn days with their husband. I have a really hot take. I have a really hot take.
Speaker 2:Hit us with it.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think dad should always handle nights.
Speaker 2:Okay, In terms of bottles in terms of breastfeeding, like what, how?
Speaker 1:like, let's go logistically here. Okay, I think that if you are doing a bottle in the night, I think dads should be responsible for that bottle in the night sure I think that if you are exclusively breastfeeding, dad should have to get up with mom in the night. The hot take.
Speaker 2:It's fairly hot. I wasn't very good at that.
Speaker 1:No, you're terrible at it no. And I had postpartum rage Bad, and that was really the only time it came out.
Speaker 2:That was not the only time it came out, but that was a bit, that was a consistent time it came out, okay, okay, it's not the only time it came out, but that was a consistent time it came out, for sure, okay, okay, it's not the only time.
Speaker 1:Just every night Wait what was the other time?
Speaker 2:I didn't keep track. Okay, but it was not the only time you experienced postpartum rage. It was in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1:Oh, I feel like that's the only what I remember. I'm not telling you you're wrong.
Speaker 2:That's why I wanted to, but there were plenty of moments of postpartum rage.
Speaker 1:It's so bad I didn't do it with our first one.
Speaker 2:Nope. You had postpartum anxiety. You were just worried that she was going to die.
Speaker 1:Yeah, our first one no postpartum rage. Second one absolute, just rage.
Speaker 2:The first one we were exclusively pumping, yeah, and so you got to get up in the night. Was the lack of sleep it?
Speaker 1:was not great.
Speaker 2:The lack of sleep does not work well for you and the pumping like that worked well for us because we could take shifts. Yeah is if. If the dad can be involved with bottles in the middle of the night, it means you can get two feeding periods for sleep. You both can like if you alternate.
Speaker 1:I just don't function well without sleep.
Speaker 2:You can't do short sleep.
Speaker 1:I don't know what went wrong, because I know a lot of moms do better than me. It's not me.
Speaker 2:My ADHD just operates pretty normally until you get really extremely low sleep.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, I would say dad takes splitting up shifts in any way that you can to where mom can get the most rest possible yeah because it's not. I think the thing for me is it is not. When you have a newborn, mom is doing inherently more work than dad. Period all the time there is no argument about it, even if you're not breastfeeding if you gave birth, you are automatically doing more work because your body's healing.
Speaker 1:You are are breastfeeding, producing milk. Maybe you're choosing to go to formula, but you're working to dry that up, like you're going through all of your own personal health things while also trying to take care of this teeny, tiny baby. Dad's just there, dad's just along for the ride.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep dad's just along for the ride. Yeah, yep, no, it is absolutely. Um, dad should be making it a priority to be involved in every way that they can be and people think that's crazy.
Speaker 1:People are like well, dad has to work during the day, so mom needs to be the one getting up in the night because she just has to take care of a baby all day. And I'm like just has to take care of a baby all day and I'm like just has to take care of a new baby all day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not a good take at all.
Speaker 1:I think you just have to go to work all day. It depends on what you do for work, I guess, If you're operating heavy machinery or there are exceptions, I think to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, even an office job can be mentally taxing, but I will tell you, it is not the persistent need and availability that you have to have when you are a stay at home parent, especially to a newborn that needs everything for them. And so, no, I think it's dad's priority to like diapers. Diapers should be all dad's deal as much as possible. Obviously, if you're not there there, you can't do it, but whenever you're around and it, it needs to be a persistent thought in dad's head, like mom's going through a lot and she's doing everything she can physically and mentally to try and figure this out, and so that's yeah, working on systems to make it happen.
Speaker 1:Just taking any mental labor you can off.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think is huge.
Speaker 2:Because there is this thought like oh well, you have to go to work and so you need your sleep, but everybody needs sleep, and like everybody needs the house to operate and so it's just going to have to be a season, that kind of sucks for everybody. Yeah, like everybody's going to have to sacrifice, but it can't be like I'm not sacrificing at all because I work.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like if all of you put a little bit in, it makes it better for everyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't take a crazy amount of of effort to make a big difference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so effort to make a big difference, yeah, so Okay. Last question for today, all right, how do you navigate your twenties being single and feeling like you'll never find your person? It feels like an uphill, never ending battle.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I, I, I assumed I wouldn't get like married or be like in a serious relationship till I was like 30. So I'm bad at that mindset. I, I kind of always assumed it was going to take time.
Speaker 1:I also don't think that romantic love's the only valuable relationship, and I I just don't think it's necessary for a fulfilling, happy life. No um, no Um. I love you dearly. I think you've brought mass amounts of joy to my life and I'm extremely grateful for where I am and having you as a partner in it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ditto.
Speaker 1:I also think that there is this everything's mindset. I think is what I'm really coming back to. I have tons of friends who are single still in their 30s.
Speaker 2:Yeah or single again.
Speaker 1:Or single again. We have that too. But I have some friends that have never been engaged, never married, and they've dated, they've seen people X, y, z, whatever, but they just haven't met the one and they're thriving, and I don't like this fallacy that you need romantic love in order to be happy and fulfilled. And I think often when you spend your time finding the life you want on your own, that's when you find the relationships and the life that is meant for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the best advice I can give to somebody that is in a season feeling down about that is to make yourself, and really prioritize yourself, the best version that you can be. Make yourself somebody who is a more appealing partner, like make yourself somebody that really knows what they want and what's important to them.
Speaker 1:I don't like that advice for a woman.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I don't like the advice of making yourself a more appealing partner. Yeah To women. That's a really good point because, because yeah I think that makes women focus on what they think men will like, rather than what they like about themselves yes, okay, that's a really good point and I think it has to be funneled like what? I think the number one tip I can give to women in their 20s is to find the version of themselves that they love.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I meet so many people that I think they are caught up in becoming the version of themselves. They think men will love or a partner will love.
Speaker 2:And they have no idea who they are. They have no idea who they are.
Speaker 1:That's a really good they're just a compilation of a bunch of really good qualities that partners generally look for.
Speaker 1:Okay, rather than a really grounded person who is pursuing a life that really they love. And I don't disagree with what you're saying because I think I know the heart behind what you're saying. Is like, when you find yourself and you know how to operate on your own really well, you become a really appealing partner to others. Yeah, because people love somebody who has confidence, knows who they are, knows what they want, um, and it's like just getting after it and enjoying life and looking at things through a really you know yeah, and you'll attract partners that that feel the same and respect that.
Speaker 2:And if you get in situations where you have partners that don't, you'll have enough knowledge of yourself to be like, hey, this doesn't work for me yeah like, the more you can build yourself up.
Speaker 1:I saw a really good video this week. It was a stitch and it was a woman who was like 34, 35, who had just broken up with her partner of four years, and she was very upset and she was like I want kids, Like what the hell am I going to do? And this woman stitched it. That was in her late 30s and she said, you know, this was me a few years ago, Um, and she went on this whole kind of story of her life and how she could have never been prepared when she left that relationship. She just kind of thought, well, maybe kids will never come to me because I'm not going to find my partner. And that's when she really like kind of accepted that and started living things for how she wanted them individually. And within a year she'd met the absolute love of her life and she was like I'm so grateful that as soon as I started living for myself rather than the life I thought I wanted, it all fell into place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm thinking like with kids. I'm thinking of the number of people we know that started having kids in their 40s.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We do. We know a lot of people we don't have a very normal peer group, I think in that way, we got a wide distribution of when people started to be parents, when people got married, when people got remarried Like it can happen at any point in your life. And the more you know who you are, the better position you'll be in to navigate relationships.
Speaker 1:Well, and things can just change a lot quicker than I think people realize. And so the panicking and the living in a sense of dread, of like I'm going to be alone, I don't think that puts you in a position to welcome new things into your life.
Speaker 2:Well, no, no. It focuses on, like, all of the things that just aren't working for you.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so the more you can fulfill yourself, the happier and more confidently you'll navigate your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you want to do Greg's reads before we call? Things this week Greg Greg.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Greg's back is being reattached. So, he's been reading some news he has. This little segment is where Greg sends us news and we read almost exclusively the article titles and then rate them on a scale of one to five, how much anxiety they give us.
Speaker 1:We can't be the only ones with. Gen X and boomer parents that are.
Speaker 2:That are reading news and sending it to you, thinking it's super relevant.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's very relevant.
Speaker 2:Yep, sometimes it's too relevant. Yeah, that very relevant, yep sometimes it's too relevant, yeah so that's where you get the fives yes, yeah, that usually causes the most anxiety. Okay, true wealth is invisible. Looking poor can deeply unimportant. Being rich is to me. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's probably coming from a place of privilege, like knowing my needs are met, but like beyond my needs being met, I don't really have a ton of desire for financial greatness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it takes. Sometimes it takes having your needs met to understand that it does not benefit you beyond that.
Speaker 1:But which is which is absolutely a privilege, which I live in a home that obviously goes well beyond what my needs are.
Speaker 2:I understand that, but but it doesn't make you happier on its own.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Like that. All comes from within, but obviously, if you don't have those things, those are a higher priority and it feels way more relevant because it is. But yeah, one out of five. I I don't know that. I want true wealth. That bad. All right, this one is just 20 somethings are trouble.
Speaker 1:I mean four out of five. Four out of five.
Speaker 2:Three out of five. I guess I'm not a 20-something. We're 30s now, so we're good.
Speaker 1:That hurts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't even really want to open it. It's from the Atlantic. It might be super long. I don't know about that. There's one about our social security records being leaked. I mean that's concerning, but Five out of five. But it also was stolen from places that we can't control. Okay, all right, one more.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:This could increase your risk of Alzheimer's disease more than anything. Study.
Speaker 1:One out of five.
Speaker 2:I think we're all doomed. Oh, okay, is it because we're eating credit cards every week?
Speaker 1:Yeah, like all the microplastics and all the toxic water and all the out, like what have they said? Now, like 40% of water in America has.
Speaker 2:Nanoplastics or something.
Speaker 1:No, no, no no, like some kind of really bad toxin in it oh, that sounds bad yeah, and there's only like specific kind of filters that can filter it out. You'll have to read about it. I I get a lot of that natural, but like it goes back. All right, guys, stop drinking water where diet coke only it goes back to that where people say, well, don't use wooden cutting boards because they can hold bacteria, but don't use plastic cutting boards, but don't use glass cutting boards.
Speaker 2:Well, the answer is to only cut it with lasers.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But don't you think a laser would be bad for some?
Speaker 2:Could potentially irradiate your food. Hard to say.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Maybe I mean there's a way to like have a negative health impact from about anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's kind of where I am, like I'd like to do well, but I'm drinking a Fresca.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like I can't care that much, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because this is aspartame, isn't it? Probably Doesn't that like rot you from the inside out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but everything you know, we're just slowly rotting from the inside out just all the time. Yeah. That's one way to look at it.
Speaker 1:Carbonated water, citric acid concentrated grapefruit juice, potassium citrate.
Speaker 2:Citrate.
Speaker 1:Citrate Aspartame.
Speaker 2:There, you go. Yum.
Speaker 1:That's not good for me Tastes awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Zero calories.
Speaker 1:Right, Zero calories. Just you know, rocking your insides.
Speaker 2:Anyway.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I said, we're just slowly rotting from the inside all the time, with or without poison.
Speaker 1:What a light note to leave things on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, guys, it will all end eventually. Was that too far?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Jeez Guys, stay positive out there, do the thing.
Speaker 1:The Patreon's down below.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We look forward to hopefully seeing some of y'all on there and yeah, keep us posted If you have any questions. We're going to get back to voicemails and stuff next week.
Speaker 2:Yep, we've got a nice stockpile, so I think we're going to stay hot and heavy on answering questions and getting on top of that stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we have some exciting news coming in the next couple of months, and just some like fun things coming up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we really do, so it should be a good, good end of the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love y'all. Q4 for the win Bye, bye.