Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
AI Dance-offs and the Vegas of the Midwest
Picture this: your favorite TikTok creator, but they're entirely AI-generated! We explore the legal and ethical implications of our likenesses being used without our consent and ponder the hilarity of letting AI handle our dance moves. From the struggles of modern day rom-coms to the inability to tell concise effective stories, we kick this week off with a bang.
This segues into the tale of a harrowing gunpoint encounter, setting the stage for even wilder stories. We recount a weekend getaway gone wrong, from tech mishaps to DMV nightmares, and even an upcoming family vacation to the "Vegas of the Midwest." Finally, we spotlight the struggles of new parenthood, sharing heartfelt listener emails, and emphasizing the need for self-care and open communication during this transformative life stage. Join us for a rollercoaster of laughs, reflections, and genuine moments!
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:I'm terrified of AI.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, tell me more.
Speaker 1:I. It just scares me Like everybody's doing that, that uh trend right now, which I wanted to do with you, where they're taking a picture of your full body and then making you dance and it looks like you really did learn the dance, you know.
Speaker 2:That would save us so much time.
Speaker 1:Then I learned you had to do like a, which makes sense, but it was through like a third party app and I don't know like my likeness is all over the internet internet and yet it's still like if people want to take my likeness, it's pretty accessible.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say there's very few people with as much photo and video like source material on public platforms from which to like.
Speaker 1:I know scrape data, itrape data. It still scares me.
Speaker 2:Totally valid Totally valid.
Speaker 1:Like the deepfake stuff freaks me out.
Speaker 2:But I mean, if we could deepfake ourselves dancing, that'd save us so much time. And learning to dance you know what. You're so right. Why would you See? This is the shortcut.
Speaker 1:You don't have to learn anything. This is the kind of brainstorming we need to be doing. Matt's going to deep fake AIS into dancing wizards.
Speaker 2:We pivot our whole platform to dancing and we don't know how we're just doing it via deep fake.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That'd be really. It'd be funny for a little bit. Then it would be exhausting.
Speaker 1:What about? That would be exhausting.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to start stealing material. Are we going to learn to actually choreograph stuff?
Speaker 1:No, we're going to steal everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fair, that's the bit Okay. We just do everything.
Speaker 1:Kostin Mayer does Love that.
Speaker 2:I'm sure that's not illegal at all.
Speaker 1:It's probably a gray area in terms of like it's like a gray area of super illegal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but it's just like uncharted waters, really no international waters.
Speaker 1:There's no laws I don't think that that's true at all.
Speaker 2:I think stealing is still stealing, yeah I do like the idea that international waters have no laws. I don't think that's totally true.
Speaker 1:It's not even a little bit true, like it is 100% false.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's widely like propagated is that in international waters there's just like no law Like the US law doesn't apply. Sure sure, sure, sure yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that's what you're getting confused.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but international law.
Speaker 1:Just because a specific law you're used to doesn't apply doesn't mean there are no laws. Yeah, I think that that's kind of how you do life, though.
Speaker 2:Me yeah, personally.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, international waters. Well, no, that's not true, you're like, which means anything, I think. True, you know, in lieu of a new substitution. Sure, yeah, I think that totally makes sense. And it isn't painting with a broad brush in any way, shape or form. You're toxic, said while yawning, put some passion into it.
Speaker 1:Okay, sorry, I was trying to make a joke, but I said it too tired.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not even that sleepy, I was going to say we got a full night's sleep last night. We both crushed it in the sleep department, which never happens.
Speaker 1:Like eight and a half hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we both got eight hours. You seem damn right chipper, I haven't gotten eight consecutive hours, or even like eight broken up hours, in a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you seem great.
Speaker 2:I had a two, three week stretch that was a brew, tall, it was four to six hours, never, never, consecutive. Yeah, uh, we had. We had somebody that was really doing a lot at 2am 3am.
Speaker 1:That's my least favorite part of the podcast is every time we get on here and just talk about how we're tired. I think that's stupid.
Speaker 2:That's not good content.
Speaker 1:No, it's terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree, I would be so annoyed by us.
Speaker 1:I think that is part of why I have not felt as passionate about the podcast in the last couple of months. I genuinely feel like I would hate listening to this.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Hate is such a strong word, I know, but I think that there's. That's some. Apparently I have some soul searching I need to do.
Speaker 2:You have a yeah, you have a pretty solid threshold for entertainment as well. Like you, you need to be entertained by your entertainment. You don't tolerate like not very entertaining stuff all that often oh interesting. I'm thinking of you on like TikTokok.
Speaker 1:You're like didn't catch me, bye well, I and I don't like to scroll on tiktok that much, that's fair like I'm not a scroller, not that I never do it, that's not I'm not being like I never scroll, like that's not what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2:I guess counterpoint is books, and you'll read almost anything that isn't just an absolute piece of garbage.
Speaker 1:Well, and I also like TV, but the thing is— you don't watch much TV though. No, I don't.
Speaker 2:So I don't feel like you're taking a broad spectrum of shows. I feel like you're hitting a lot of highlights. Because you don't take in a lot of TV, you can hit mainly hits. Yeah, you're not like. This looks okay, I'll give it a shot, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that's true, although we've done that with some rom-coms recently. Bad, bad rom-coms.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess you did the one by yourself.
Speaker 1:So bad. It was one of the worst Like what has happened to romantic comedies in the last 20 years.
Speaker 2:Speaking of AI. I think they might be written by AI.
Speaker 1:Truly, that's what it was like, and the thing is, the actors and actresses that were in this movie are award-winning, like great actors and actresses that I've seen in things doing a fantastic job and it was terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The writing everything about what's happened. I don't know, man.
Speaker 2:There's some out there where you're like yeah, I get, you didn't want to act in this one. Do you know what I?
Speaker 1:think it is, and I've seen a few things talking about this. I really think that we're living in the first period of time that people do not know how to adequately document how we, as people, communicate with one another in this day and age, because it's really hard to capture the way that conversations take place over a lot of different mediums, because we're not just talking to each other, we're not just talking on the phone, we're not just speaking to one another when we're with one another, like you can be sitting next to your best friend and have a really good time, but you're like DMing each other or you're texting, or you're talking out loud or it's a combination of those three.
Speaker 2:Or you're just close to each other doing different things.
Speaker 1:And so I think that like people don't adequately capture that in movies and it makes it really hard to rom-com. That's why you see so many of the successful rom-coms are like throwbacks to like the nineties two thousands things like that.
Speaker 2:That makes sense. It does make sense that it would be really hard to capture, also because I think so much when we're doing like texts and like not email but I was about to say email, it was like people aren't emailing each other. That's, that's strictly work. If you're, I mean maybe you're emailing your friends if, like, they live, I don't know. I don't think so though. Anyway, um, but there is there's like a break between when things happen so like things aren't happening in real time as much and then a lot of it, I think, is an internal, like people are thinking about what's been said or they're like there's just a lot of internal dialogue happening. I don't personally have an internal monologue, but even then you're still thinking about what's happened.
Speaker 1:I think that that is that's not new.
Speaker 2:No, but it's.
Speaker 1:It's so much based in that side of conversation as opposed to being like well, and that's the thing is like you read something silently and then you think about it you're like oh, what do they mean by that?
Speaker 2:I wonder what I'm gonna have to do about. Yeah, like there's a whole train of thought and so, unless they just have like the characters thinking to themselves, there's just it's hard to depict that and I'm sure there are films I've seen that do a really good job but, I, think, generally speaking, it's really difficult to capture that.
Speaker 1:That's why I think we don't have as many really awesome movies like that now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and just cause stuff doesn't in modern day relate well.
Speaker 1:I think about, like John Tucker must die and mean girls and all those ones that came out when we were younger. They're so. She's the man Like. There are no movies like that now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true, that's true, and.
Speaker 1:I know part of it is that nowadays so much more content's being put out there, and so they're like movies aren't as um iconic per se. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, comedies, I think have they go up and down. But when comedy's in a hard state, I don't think they draw to theaters well, and so it's hard to get them made. As much Now that there's more platforms, I think, but they're lower budget, they don't get produced. The same way, they don't get the attention that they probably used to get.
Speaker 1:But I love it.
Speaker 2:Around the holidays. There have been a few good holiday movies that have come out, I feel like, but I think our standards for holiday movies are lower too, though. I completely agree, I think people are like this is going to be a Hallmark-level, lifetime-level movie and they're okay with it not being the best, but even the movie.
Speaker 1:I watched by myself. If it had been a holiday would have been horrific. Okay, like it really, when you said Do you want to name it?
Speaker 2:No, okay.
Speaker 1:When you said I really do like the people that were in the movie and I feel guilty.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, fair.
Speaker 1:But the the AI thing about like it seeming like it was written by AI is so spot on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot of like. I think a human would say this here, not speaking to any specific character, not speaking to any like, any specificity at all. There's like generic human dialogue, generic human response. Repeat repeat event yeah, so anyway, the mad li.
Speaker 1:No, that's like. It literally was like a Mad Lib.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. I kind of wish I'd have seen it just to see how bad it was, because, again, you are not like a tear, something to shreds kind of girly, you're very much like. Well, I enjoyed this part of it and so to be like the worst film ever made.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't the worst. I have seen worse movies, but it was not what I thought it was. I think it was the worst one you've had recommended to you recently. Yeah, yeah For sure, although I've been recommended some bad books.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But that's the thing is like. I hate calling something a bad book, though, because the thing is, if other people enjoy it, that's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bad. Doesn calling something a bad book, though, because the thing is, if other people enjoy it, that's great. It like it bad, doesn't? I don't know, I don't like to yuck somebody's yum, that's fair. That's fair like you could call.
Speaker 1:I don't know monopoly a bad game, but lots of people enjoy it. Yeah, I like monopoly uh I don't love monopoly so that's okay, a time perspective.
Speaker 2:I think that's the problem with monopoly, is it just takes a long time.
Speaker 1:Well, as you guys know, Matt is just a really time efficient man Nobody hates wasting time, so that he can waste time on his own terms than me. Literally.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't want you to waste my time. I would like to waste my time.
Speaker 1:It drives me insane, it's not a great trait about me, no it's horrible Cause I'm like what better things do you have to do? You're like I don't.
Speaker 2:Not this.
Speaker 1:Not anything you want.
Speaker 2:Nothing, yeah, and you really love that's been a a trope of our communication. The last year probably is. You're like I don't want to hear what you don't want to do anymore. No more like outlining things by telling me well, not that guess and not that thing You're like, just figure out what it is and then tell me that I don't like guessing this.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, quote, end quote Shooting down ideas is not a great way to come up with ideas, guys.
Speaker 1:Well, and that's kind of like. I don't know how you fell into that, but in the last 10 years I remember when we met, like when we were in high school, you were really opinionated and you had lots of things that you really like, liked and thought were cool, and I'm sure part of that is just like being young like, not that people stop having that, like you know how, when you're 16, you're like no, this music like this is my, but the older we've gotten, the more you can't distinguish literally any thoughts.
Speaker 1:You're like sorry, my brain doesn't work and that's a valid excuse Like yeah, does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe I've over uh, over neutralized, yeah, over neutralized myself. That's probably fair. New, new turd no no, I was trying to trying to coin a word on the fly here, guys.
Speaker 1:It's not that you didn't coin that one.
Speaker 2:Neutral Nope, nope, I'll stop.
Speaker 1:Neutralized was just fine.
Speaker 2:No, that is just a regular word, though I thought you know, so it's neutered, I know it was. Anyway, I've neutered myself and so just clip that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, no it's fair, but I think it's hard to start speaking up again. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it is, Because sometimes your wife just yells over you on the podcast. No, People get upset about that and I really don't mind. Like that's just how we talk. We talk that way all the time. Yeah, and we're good with it guys.
Speaker 1:We both do it, I'm good with it.
Speaker 2:I think you're good with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don feel any kind of way about it. No, if we really need to say something, we'll just continue saying it. Sometimes it really annoys me if I'm trying to Never on the podcast. You don't do this on the podcast. But my best friend, jacey, will be in town and she'll be. We love to sit at the island and talk and shoot the shit in the kitchen. We do that a lot when she's here late at night and I'll start to tell a story and matt like can I handle that? I'm telling a story and so he'll cut me off again and again and again, trying to give like context that isn't necessary and finally I'll just sit there in silence until he realizes that he has set the scene for like I don't know uh--huh, yeah Entirely too much detail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like, what about this irrelevant detail, Like she needs to know, like where we were as you're taking a phone call, Like you know, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Matt's not a good storyteller. He's hysterical, but he's not a good storyteller. That's what I would say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't. Um, I have a bad gauge on enough detail versus too much detail. I go one way or the other, but I tend not to ride a happy medium. I feel like.
Speaker 1:Is that true? Yeah, I would say that that definitely is true.
Speaker 2:I'll either be like I got held up at gunpoint the end.
Speaker 1:Oh, somebody DM'd me. Yeah, we've never told that story, I guess.
Speaker 2:We haven't told that on this, or we probably haven't told it in a long time, so I should tell my I was like are you sure we've never told that on the podcast. Huh.
Speaker 1:I feel like we have.
Speaker 2:But somebody. It could have been a year and a half ago. It could have been early, early Last week, when we were talking about phones.
Speaker 1:Somebody said or you were talking through and you were like all the different times that you've destroyed or lost your phone and he said when I was held up at gunpoint, I was like yeah, and we just like breathed past it and they were like okay, wait, I need you to backtrack. So I guess, sorry to anybody that's been listening for the last three years and has heard this story if we have told it.
Speaker 2:We've probably told it somewhere on some platform, haven't we? Maybe, who knows? Probably on live, I bet we've only. Maybe we've only told it on lives maybe matt and I have so many.
Speaker 1:I'm sure everybody's life is like this right where you just have, like the, the main hitter stories, and this is one of matt's for sure this is one of those that. Yeah, it's in the top three stories probably that I've got yeah, in terms of like people want to hear about wild times, it feels appropriate because it was.
Speaker 2:Father's Day.
Speaker 1:This was nine years ago this month.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's so long ago.
Speaker 1:Almost a decade ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this was we were broken up, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how I know, otherwise I wouldn't know what year it was. Yeah, so we weren't together, otherwise I wouldn't know what year it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we weren't together, but I was living by myself in St Louis.
Speaker 1:And this is the only thing. So we were broken up for a year, and this is the only thing I heard about you the entire year. Yeah, we did not Like, the only thing that made it back to me. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not even the grapevine was keeping us in touch. So, um, except for this story. So I lived in St Louis by myself. I lived downtown, so, uh, there were some bars and stuff that I would go to and I wasn't that far from the ballpark down there and so I'm 23, 22, 22, about to turn 23.
Speaker 2:Yeah, About to be 23. I'd been working for a year I don't know. All of these are the irrelevant details that I get into when I tell a story anyway. So I would usually walk to the bars and the bars are up until 3 AM in St Louis, so I'd walk down there, have some drinks, walk home no big deal. Uh, this night I met up with some people downtown and they also lived there, and so after the bars closed I went to their apartment and then hung out there for a couple hours and then it was 5 am. And if you learn anything from this story, if the bars close at three, don't be on the street at 5 am. But I had to learn this lesson by being like oh, I'm only a mile from my house, I'll just walk home Like regularly did that, did that weeks, week after week, and no big deal, because you know when there's people out it's not the same story drips of male privilege.
Speaker 2:It does. It does a hundred percent yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean until it goes wrong. So, uh, I wasn't in a totally um, sober state of mind to begin with. And so I'm walking, walking home, and I'm probably three, four blocks from my place and I'm on my phone doing who knows what, and I see some guys up ahead and but they turn off and so no big deal, and I keep walking and it turns out that they had circled the block on me. I can literally see my apartment from where I got held up, and they stick out the gun and they're like hey, give us your phone. We saw you on your phone. I was like yep, here you go. They're like do you have a wallet? I was like, yeah, I've got a wallet. And so I took the wallet out of my back pocket but I had like a clip on it that held all my cash, and so I was again dripping with male privilege. I was like I'm going to slide all the cash out back into my pocket and then they can just have the cards and whatever, um. And so I was like, okay, here's my wallet. And then I just kind of like start walking off, cause I was like I think this transaction has ended, I'm going to try and get out of here now and they grabbed him and ran off and uh, so I got home this is five 30 in the morning and this is father's day, but this is like five 30 Sunday morning Um, so I grabbed my iPad, cancel whatever my laptop, whatever I was using.
Speaker 2:Grab my iPad, cancel whatever my laptop, whatever I was using. Again, this was a little fuzzy at the time. But, uh, I cancel whatever cards I can remember to log into. And, uh, go to bed because I was tired. I didn't have a phone to like call the police. I also couldn't identify the people that held me up. I was like I didn't. I wasn't trying to get IDs, I was just trying to like not make a lot of eye contact and get out of there. So I go to bed, I wake up probably 11 AM it wasn't a real early but then I'm like, oh, I should probably report at least that my phone was stolen, in case insurance on my phone needs a report of me losing my phone to theft, and so that was the only reason I called the cops.
Speaker 2:And so I had to figure out how to use my iPad as a phone, because I didn't have an iPhone, so it wasn't like all linked together and whatnot. So I had to download some weird app that I'm sure I called the police station and it was like I was calling from who knows just the middle of nowhere, not a real phone number. But I call them up and I'm like, hey, I got held up at gunpoint this morning and they're like when did this happen? And I was like 5 am-ish and they're like wait what? Oh, okay, I guess we'll send somebody over to get a report. A detective came over in a couple hours and I was like cause I called the non-emergency line. I was like this is not an emergency. He came over and I gave him like an absolutely they were between five, six and six three.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't know, yeah, they could have been five, six, they could have been 16.
Speaker 1:They could have been 32.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like I wasn't making a lot of eye contact. They had a black semi-automatic handgun, and that's all I can tell you. And they're like okay, cool, I guess we'll let you know if we find them. I was like cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not going to be any help of.
Speaker 2:Unless you find my wallet on that person. There's really no way to know. And even then, Like again, you could have. Yeah, it could have been two out of three people and I couldn't have picked the two people out. It just wouldn't have happened. So anyway, that was my getting held up at gunpoint. But when I called my parents for my weird sketchy iPad number App, when I called my parents for my weird sketchy iPad number app, my mom did not think that was a very funny story.
Speaker 1:I think your dad thought it was a little funny.
Speaker 2:Well, I was laughing while telling it because I was okay and again, I'm a man, so I just drip with male privilege and just assume my safety is inherent. But I was laughing as I was telling the story because I was like, look how dumb I am. And my mom was like this, how dumb I am. And my mom was like this is not a funny story at all and I'm very worried about you. And I was like, well, I guess that's fair. But uh, here we are. And so it was really inconvenient having to survive off like $40 cash, cause I had all my cards in my wallet, I needed gas, had to figure out some stuff like that. I had to go to the DMV on Monday, which wasn't very fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that stinks.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have used my cash. But again, I don't think I've. I've had this thought where I was like maybe if I gave him my cash I could have kept my ID and stuff, so I didn't have to go to the DMV.
Speaker 1:But I don't think it was a place to be negotiating. I think I have to get a new license in the next couple weeks.
Speaker 2:For your birthday. Is it time?
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:You're aging out. Oh, man it's the year I had to get mine like more recently because I moved here late. I bet you're right. You think it's been 10 years late, I bet you're right you think it's been 10 years. Yeah, I think it has.
Speaker 1:Oh, womp, womp, Womp, womp. This weekend we have our annual Johnson family vacay. Oh yeah, going to the absolute. You know they call it what? The Vegas of the Midwest.
Speaker 2:Somebody might yeah. Omaha, omaha, nebraska yes, yeah, the Vegas of Nebraska maybe.
Speaker 1:I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:Eastern Nebraska.
Speaker 1:I was joking, yeah, yeah, and so we have a wild weekend ahead.
Speaker 2:The Paris of Central East Nebraska yeah.
Speaker 1:The Paris of.
Speaker 2:If you get specific enough, it can be the Paris of about anything.
Speaker 1:They call it the London of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of. You know, if you think about it hard enough.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It's a major city.
Speaker 1:It is a major city but Like it's almost big, it is big. I'm always surprised every time we go I'm like, oh yeah, they live in like a.
Speaker 2:A city.
Speaker 1:A metropolis? Not really.
Speaker 2:The bastion of society. Yeah, truly but there's like highways. Yeah, there are.
Speaker 1:We have highways.
Speaker 2:Highways are a real low bar in the United States.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me clarify. Like they have, like Dallas overpasses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, clarify, like they have like dallas overpasses, yeah, like big major interstates, yeah, yeah, oh, do you have updates?
Speaker 1:no, I just sound like an idiot yeah I don't have any updates. No, I had a great weekend. I came out of photography retirement oh yeah for a day that's right um, and I had so much fun, I have decided okay that if anybody wants me to photograph their wedding, they can hire JC. They can pay double and I'll go for the day. Oh, guest appearance, it's just like Well, you mean your work too, no, I would shoot it, I wouldn't just be there. That's stupid. No.
Speaker 2:I would Just holding a camera.
Speaker 1:I had so much fun, but I don't want to do all the communication.
Speaker 2:I don't like.
Speaker 1:I don't want to do all of that anymore. I really don't. Um it just it wore me out. But I would love to do that with JC three or four times a year, but it's not like financially um doable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I can't go get paid. No, no, it's not $10 an hour or whatever.
Speaker 2:You can, but it wouldn't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:Well, I could, I, yes, I could, but it's not going to pay the bills, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:No, um, that would just be going to. Yeah, that wouldn't cover child care, if I had like.
Speaker 1:Right. Now I'm the child care it would be a Saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it would cover lunch. Yeah, lunch for the fam yeah, lunch and dinner.
Speaker 1:So not that JC would probably pay me better than that.
Speaker 2:Maybe, you never know, it's not Tough negotiation. It wouldn't make sense with the travel and the you had fun.
Speaker 1:I had so much fun. It was the most fun wedding I've ever been to.
Speaker 2:I heard you jumped in the pool, I with a camera.
Speaker 1:I did not jump in the pool with the camera.
Speaker 2:Waited into the pool.
Speaker 1:I waited into the pool with the camera.
Speaker 2:Carefully got in the pool with a camera.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did get up all the way to my neck, um, okay, and I held the camera up, but everybody else was in like soaking wet. I was also soaking wet, but like my hair wasn't wet.
Speaker 2:Got it Worth it.
Speaker 1:It was so much fun. Genuinely Like I, I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that was more fun than that, and I've been to some fun weddings Part of it. It helps when you know people, like when you know you know a lot of the yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I. There were enough people there that I knew personally that that part was fun and just like JC being my person and she's like family to me and so like seeing it be her family and how excited she was for her family, that was really meaningful and impactful.
Speaker 2:That's cool.
Speaker 1:So it was just a blast. I was saying that I don't think I have very many weddings left, but I actually don't think that's true.
Speaker 2:Oh, like in our cause we're, we're in our early thirties, so but I have quite a few friends younger than me. Yeah, but there is. There is kind of an age like your mid to late twenties. At least, you know, in the middle of the U? S here where we live, you, you go through a lot of weddings in this period of time. You're doing four or five weddings a summer at least, a lot of times.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so, but then that tapers off and we're kind of in the tapering period right now.
Speaker 1:It's not going to be ever again where we have like eight or something, not until probably, like it's our kids and their friends and stuff. Shoot, because I talked to like my parents' friends and they have, like they're attending six to eight a summer because they have. You know.
Speaker 2:That would require their friends to like us or want us to be involved.
Speaker 1:Right and maybe they won't, but I hope. Maybe they will. Anyway, we have a few more though, like I would imagine eventually, imagine eventually, like, like you know, I had Reagan's in May and I excuse me, I imagine eventually Caroline would get married maybe. So we'll have hers and anyway, I look forward to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're always fun, so fun. It's fun having weddings older. I feel like there are a lot in your middle like your mid-20s.
Speaker 1:Well, when you have them every weekend, it's hard to show up with the same kind of energy.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, yeah. It's physically a detriment to your health.
Speaker 1:It's physically taxing and it's so expensive.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember being so financially stressed in my mid to late 20s when I had four bachelorette trips I was supposed to go on in a year, or bachelorette trips I was supposed to go on in a year and I had, you know, whatever. All these showers and gifts and dresses and like that was.
Speaker 2:So many things and so few vacation days and I don't politely decline Like I prioritize myself Never. Yeah, that's a family trait of ours. We were just like that sounds really inconvenient for us. We'll be there. Yeah, we won't say the first part out loud, let's be like, oh no well, that's everybody would love that.
Speaker 1:Everybody was so shocked to see me standing in the pool at the wedding and I'm like anybody that knows me is like no no, you love the full. Send you, you tell that girl to do something you don't have to I, I commit yeah, just suggest it yeah same we both.
Speaker 2:We are no shortage of committing no, or peer pressure you're better about.
Speaker 1:I don't give into peer pressure if I don't want to do something, I don't do it oh it doesn't matter you're the peer pressure king. We're lucky. You've lived almost 31, 32 how old are you?
Speaker 2:I was like I am 31, did it? It's all bonus from here, baby yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, no, no, sir Backtrack.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I haven't done too much dangerous lately, right I?
Speaker 1:don't think so. What's the most?
Speaker 2:dangerous thing I've done in the last year.
Speaker 1:That's a really good question.
Speaker 2:Probably could have prepped you for that Lit our yard on fire.
Speaker 1:There's been some fire yeah, there have been a couple different fire circumstances that didn't feel very safe, yep. That's the one that comes to mind immediately.
Speaker 2:That's a great poll and I think that's probably right. Yeah, we had some bad charcoal grill experience oh yeah, that's true, that's what that was that's not what I was. Wait, what were you thinking of? Oh, different fire, but they actually two different fire.
Speaker 1:Uh events, so right okay, yeah, no, it was we've told. I know we told that story when it happened.
Speaker 2:I think we've told both of them, but at least one of them.
Speaker 1:Matt, you did almost explode a thing of gasoline in your hand. So there was that.
Speaker 2:My dad said that that wouldn't happen, that you don't actually burn it back into the can because there's not enough air inside the can to actually ignite.
Speaker 1:So it will sit like a little torch. It will sit like a little torch Whoop-de-doo. It didn't feel safe.
Speaker 2:It didn't look safe, it didn't feel safe when I had it in my hand either. I wasn't about to test the theory. I also hadn't heard the theory yet, but I'm not going to test it later either. Yeah, yeah, yep.
Speaker 1:I had some real attitude toward you about that.
Speaker 2:You did which you thought I was funny but the other people there did not think.
Speaker 1:I was funny it actually. It actually has been an ongoing issue that I told you how stupid you were.
Speaker 2:I was pretty stupid, Like I wasn't going to argue that. I was like wait, I'm making really good choices. Did you see me throw that flaming gas. I'd have to stomp it out in the yard.
Speaker 1:Toddler is like 10 feet from you.
Speaker 2:She was like 50 feet away from me, but she wanted to be closer um and then not really she's not. She's pretty afraid of fire, doesn't like fire.
Speaker 1:I wonder why. And then there was the time that you burned the leaves in our front yard on the day that I insisted, it was too windy and almost set our entire front yard on fire.
Speaker 2:Uh yeah, you burned fire.
Speaker 1:Uh, yeah, you burned out a pretty good patch.
Speaker 2:There was high winds that day and so, I don't know, it rained recently. I felt like maybe it was damp enough, but the wind really got it going. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:We can't live in Arizona, is all I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's true, yeah, More.
Speaker 1:California. Matt'll test it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That.
Speaker 2:You make it sound like we've been barred. They're like you're not welcome. We would be if we lived in Arizona.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd burn down the whole city. They'd be like wildfire takes out all of Phoenix.
Speaker 2:The great Phoenix fire of 24.
Speaker 1:33-year-old man imprisoned for life for annihilating an entire city.
Speaker 2:I'm 31.
Speaker 1:I know I'm imagining the future when you do this.
Speaker 2:Oh, by the time, I'm like arraigned and charged, convicted yes. Yeah, probably it's a good timeline. Thank you, no, it makes sense, you were thinking ahead.
Speaker 1:I was, with your deep knowledge of the legal system.
Speaker 2:I don't think you're 33.
Speaker 1:I think you're 30, but you're not. No, I think I'm 25, but I'm not.
Speaker 2:No, I know you're not. That I don't know. That would be weird.
Speaker 1:I was around a bunch of 25-year-olds this weekend.
Speaker 2:How was it?
Speaker 1:Fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't feel older than them.
Speaker 2:They're kind of your people.
Speaker 1:But then they kept making comments like Ew, you think she's hot, she's a mom. They didn't keep making comments. Somebody made a comment like that.
Speaker 2:I was going to say that sounds like one very specific conversation. Somebody specific conversation, no?
Speaker 1:somebody made that comment about someone and they all know each other, like I don't, and so and I was like hey, now, and they're like what? And we're like there are moms in this car and they're like not like you guys, and I'm like no, no, you're like there's two kids at home right now.
Speaker 2:No, no, sir, rude Ma'am. Anyway, what that ma'am sounded like cover for somebody's identity.
Speaker 1:Ma'am.
Speaker 2:Ma'am.
Speaker 1:I do think it was actually a girl that said it. Really, yeah, rude, it was kind of funny.
Speaker 2:Rude, you want to do your dad's reads of the week?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Reads of the week. Reads of the week.
Speaker 2:Greg's reads of the week.
Speaker 1:We pull my dad's reads from the group text message and then we read the headline.
Speaker 2:I was just going to wait and see how far you went with it. Okay, One to five. How much anxiety does this give you? It's vital that you keep these seven financial documents forever. Here's why.
Speaker 1:One out of five.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:I've never found myself in need of any financial document, ever.
Speaker 2:Everything's digital now yeah, well, you got to keep it somewhere. I guess I I got like a three out of five. Maybe that's just the picture of the man holding up his social security cards oh, I don't know where mine is, yeah, I think, I think I know where yours is.
Speaker 1:You do? Yeah, that'd be good if you found it. I have like a top three places I could look and I think it'd be in those. Oh, it's been missing for years.
Speaker 2:Your social. Yeah, I definitely know where your birth certificate is.
Speaker 1:I have the placard that it like came in, but I don't have the know what happened to it. I used it to get my passport in 2016, 17. And then after that. I don't remember Well at least you got that passport. That's another form of ID, so that's useful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyway, humans may be able to grow new teeth within just six years.
Speaker 1:Man, I really wanted to go read this and wherever I was, the uh, the service wasn't good and I couldn't open it because I want to know what the hell, what? Zero out of five. One out of five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it didn't give me any anxiety either.
Speaker 1:But I was curious. I haven't gotten to read it yet. Did you read it?
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your dad had a comment that should be interesting to see what the anti-vaxxers do, and so I was doubly intrigued.
Speaker 1:No, I know, Me too. I was like what does that have to do with teeth?
Speaker 2:Is it a vaccine for your teeth to grow? I don't know Like Maybe.
Speaker 1:You think?
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Why are we growing teeth?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Do we not have enough teeth, just so you can pop them?
Speaker 1:out.
Speaker 2:I don't it again. Tooth fairy cha-ching.
Speaker 1:Double up. You're so dumb you get paid twice. There's dozens of dollars in there, okay, dozens. That's the retirement plan truly okay.
Speaker 2:Last one the diet that could lead to colorectal cancer in young adults, revealed in new study. Why am I laughing?
Speaker 1:five out of five. Five, yeah, four out of five. I don't know why I started laughing in the out of five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Four out of five. I don't know why I started laughing in the middle of that, but uh, not funny. Not funny Very concerning Um, I, I did read this one just to find out if it was like well, matt, exactly what you eat, you're going to get colorectal cancer. Uh, the really. The recommendation isn't like a specific diet, it's just like make sure you eat enough fiber.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Especially if you're eating a lot of fat, which, like I, eat a lot of fat.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So get that dietary fiber to push it out of your system. I guess that was Greg's reads. There was definitely a little more anxiety.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That week so.
Speaker 1:Not too bad though. No, it was all right. Do you have word?
Speaker 2:of the week. Word of the week. Are you familiar with the word exhume? Like exhume a body, yeah yeah, yeah, okay, well, do you know that one I get really excited when I know them hmm, galling no g-a-l-l-L-I-N-G. Nailed it.
Speaker 1:Galling.
Speaker 2:Galling. Like if somebody has gall the gall.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, what's it mean?
Speaker 2:Causing irritation or annoyance.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:I've heard people say that, but I've never known what it meant. I feel like I haven't heard someone say the gall in quite some time, but it is. It did get used there, for was that a period of time? I don't know.
Speaker 1:It was like trendy.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I don't know. I just felt like I saw it somewhere.
Speaker 1:I don't remember it ever being trendy.
Speaker 2:No, that's what I'm saying. I don't think it's uh Slay.
Speaker 1:Slay Back when we say gall yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, anyway, galling, irritating annoying.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the audacity.
Speaker 1:I find you galling.
Speaker 2:Definitely. Sometimes, yeah, I've got my moments, without a doubt.
Speaker 1:You want to hit some voicemails emails. I don't know if we have any voicemails?
Speaker 2:No voicemails.
Speaker 1:People have quit on us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they said no more. They're like we've heard this advice before we don't like you.
Speaker 1:We don't like you, just kidding. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 2:Um, maybe some of them no, I think it's true that we don't have any true that we have no voicemails.
Speaker 1:I know we've got at least one email, so yeah, we don't have any voice messages right now, if you want us to read them. They'll go right to the top of the pile what's crazy is how many years have we been doing this. Now we we started in 2022.
Speaker 2:Sounds right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this is our third year that we've been doing this and this is maybe one of two times we haven't had any voicemails.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You guys are really consistent that like three or four people a week call in and leave a voicemail?
Speaker 2:Again. You want to get to the top of the pile.
Speaker 1:Now's your chance guys, yeah, now's your chance, yeah, this is like our 79th or 80th episode, something like that. I wanted to let everybody know, though we have had a couple voicemails call in where the audio has not been good. Yes, like we have not been able to hear you because the audio wasn't good. So if we didn't respond to your voicemail and it was something that you're like, wow, I really thought they would respond to that.
Speaker 2:You may want to try calling back, because your audio may have been bad, yeah, and if you had an email I missed? We get a lot of spam to our email also, so I try to manage it decently, but I'm also in managing it and I manage things sporadically.
Speaker 1:Poorly is another word for that Sporadically is nicer yeah, but sporadically was being generous to myself. So I like it. I think you should be generous to yourself. I think that's something that you're not good at and I think sporadically much better describes it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, um, I need to be doing the gentle parenting of myself.
Speaker 1:We love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I I'm a very strict parent to myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, tell us.
Speaker 2:All right Email. Hi guys, I love listening to you talk through issues and I think you guys have a very healthy way of arguing. I'm sorry, I don't have a silly question for you today. I'll try to think of one next time. It's all right.
Speaker 2:My son is currently five months old and I'm struggling hard. I just feel so lonely and secluded. I don't have many friends, and of the friends I do have, I'm basically the first to have a baby, especially with my local friends. My husband was lucky enough to have a decent amount of paternity leave and we were able to be on the same schedule and our relationship was fairly healthy during that time. Since he's gone back to work, so much has changed and I feel like we're so far in the trenches that I'm anxious about our relationship surviving.
Speaker 2:My mental health is shit because I constantly feel like I'm failing at being a mom, wife, homemaker and friend and I don't know how to talk to my husband about it. We've struggled in the past with getting stuck in the roommate phase and since our son, it feels like we're constantly stuck there. No matter what I try or how many times I bring up that conversation, I feel like I'm constantly nagging him about chores and my needs, which I don't want to be doing and I know isn't fun for him. Are we just deep in the trenches of being new parents? Do you have any advice for broaching the subject with my husband or dealing with my mental health postpartum? Thank you in advance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're in the trenches. Don't even try to self-evaluate right now. I think that as new moms, especially in the United States, you hit that six-week mark and you're like, okay, well, now I'm supposed to be totally fine and normal because that's what? The way that our healthcare system, the way that work, the way that leave everything and definitely by the 12 week mark you should be good to go, because you're 12 weeks postpartum, you're golden. That's bullshit. Like you are in the trenches still and I think honestly, the entire first year, you really can't have many expectations for yourself beyond being a really good caretaker for that baby and hopefully doing some caring for yourself. I don't think the idea of juggling any more than that is realistic in any way, shape or form, and I think the people around you should be giving you grace and support in that. That's like my ideal world. I understand that that's not actually how things necessarily work for most people, but and it's not that you're not capable of more, but expecting more than that in this period.
Speaker 1:Yes, I would agree with that.
Speaker 2:Definitely aim for more, aim to be the best you can be, but also just be aware that, like within reason.
Speaker 1:I think sometimes that's. The issue, though, is we? Like the expectations are so high of ourselves that you're disappointed, Even if you like. No, you shouldn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like I don't think you should have that many expectations of yourself. I don't think you should aim for more.
Speaker 2:This is me saying that, and I constantly am disappointed in myself.
Speaker 1:Like I remember at the four-month mark, really feeling like I turned a big cheek with motherhood and being like, oh, I feel so good. And then I hit six months and I was like, oh no, I didn't feel good at four months at all, I feel better now. And then hitting a year and being like, are you out of your mind? Like you were terrible at all those times. You thought things were and I think things were incrementally getting better, but it was still so hard, and so I think that's where you kind of gaslight yourself, because since it's better than like bad, terrible, like you're like it's good, but that's just not the case, and terrible is not the right word.
Speaker 1:Bad is not the right word. It's just like, but that's just not the case. And terrible is not the right word. Bad is not the right word. It's just like you are juggling so much and you are changing so much. Five months is not that much time to adjust to the kind of change that a baby is and your child in that first year is changing so incredibly rapidly. It's unreal. There is no time to get situated.
Speaker 2:And the and the fact you don't have people in your peer group that are also familiar with that experience. It's not. It's going to be tough to relate, or relate to people around you, cause there's really no way to truly understand it, like people can be empathetic for you, um, but the understanding just isn't going to be there.
Speaker 1:No, and that's okay. It is okay. Yeah, I feel like I hit that I'm like trying to think of anything else.
Speaker 2:I would say Like you're just in the trenches. Any tips for communicating?
Speaker 1:And as for tips for taking care of your mental health, talk to your doctor, find a therapist.
Speaker 1:talk with someone I think finding somebody to talk through the things you're experiencing is so, so, so important, and I think so few people take advantage of that, and I know that it's not within everybody's accessibility. But if you have health insurance that covers therapy, or if you have it in the budget in order to go see a mental health professional, do it, you will be so glad that you did, because you are juggling a heck of a lot and you deserve support, and I think that families and husbands and partners deserve a mom in their life that is being supported by people outside of their immediate family unit as well as their family unit, because I think that that's where things can get really hard is if you are leaning all your expectations of support onto your husband or your parents or your partner or whatever. They're not always going to have all the right tools, and so being able to lean a little bit across, you know, multiple support.
Speaker 2:Well, I think one of the biggest utilities of a therapist is to just tell your problems to somebody who isn't directly involved in them. I agree, so often it's like you want to tell somebody your issues, but if you're complaining to your family or your friends and it's things that involve your family or your friends, even if it's not that specific person it's it's a complicated situation for them to be in and they can't offer a totally um, objective assessment of the situation, and sometimes you just have to get it out and they'll help you rationalize what, what the substance there is and what action to potentially take. But so much of it is just communicating to somebody that will listen and guide you through it. So hopefully you can take advantage of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, it is just a period of time that uh is hard. It's just, and so, yeah, talk to your, your doctors, if you can. If it makes sure it's not uh something that is more chemical than situational and I don't know. Good luck, yeah, fingers crossed, thinking of you. Hopefully that was good advice. Hopefully we covered all your bases. If not, email us back, let us know we did a bad job and you want more direction.
Speaker 1:But you did a bad job. I'm not listening to the podcast anymore. Valid. Yeah, probably won't read that if you send it.
Speaker 2:but you know, like on the podcast, We'll read it like in the inbox if you send it. But you know, like on the podcast, we'll read it like in the inbox, We'll read it with our eyes. It feels unnecessary to read out loud. It'd be kind of funny.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, is that our new thing? No, okay, I was going to say that seems detrimental to your health.
Speaker 2:I have, uh, no, you have some thin skin right now.
Speaker 1:I really do, yeah, I really do.
Speaker 2:Big feelers.
Speaker 1:I'm, yeah, yeah, I'm going through some, some big failures.
Speaker 2:I don't think I sounded like that, but okay, no, oh, okay, I wasn't quoting you.
Speaker 1:I was just repeating, like the phrase I, uh, I don't't know. The thing is, I'm really not.
Speaker 2:I'm a weird combination, as are you, of sensitive and not sensitive yeah, like generally not sensitive, with some very sensitive spots, me, both of us oh or generally sensitive, with random like not sensitive at all spots for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say that I was about to say I'd say I'm zones, I'd say I'm generally not sensitive doll spots for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say that I was about to say. I'd say I'm.
Speaker 1:I'd say I'm generally not sensitive.
Speaker 2:Yes, true.
Speaker 1:But I do have like a small handful of things that I just are I'm sensitive to.
Speaker 2:Devastating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, whereas you, I feel like, are sensitive to almost everything, but you have this like part you play that you're not. Oh, yeah, but you have this like part you play that you're not.
Speaker 2:Yo, yeah, I think we can contribute that to toxic masculinity, maybe a little bit masking toxic masculinity. Um, uh yeah, just uh, general denial of self. Yeah, yeah, there's. There's all kinds of cool things going on in there. Wow yeah, weird place to end.
Speaker 1:Weird place to end the podcast. This week's episode's a little shorter than usual, so sorry guys. We normally have more emails and voicemails. That takes up our back half.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we try to leave room for it, but we don't always check if we've got them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So here we are.
Speaker 1:We could have done extra preparing, but yeah, we're glad to be here. Live, laugh, love overshare.
Speaker 2:There, there it is. On that note leave us a voicemail.
Speaker 1:You guys know where to find the link. It is in the show notes.
Speaker 2:I actually think that reminds me, though I'll turn it on for this episode. Our podcast host has like a new way to interact with the show. I think you can text the show or something like there's gonna be a link. Check that out. I don't know how it works, but like I think it's gonna have its own inbox. So just another avenue. But I'm pretty sure you can click it from the like one thing I read on it. You can click it and then you can text it to it and it'll show up in an inbox for the show. So I'll turn that on and then we'll have a new place that I have.
Speaker 2:Uh, you know that I'm managing for emails, but it gives you an easier way even easier to hit us up.
Speaker 1:Okay, text us, email us, voicemail us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, check the notes, that'll have this stuff.
Speaker 1:And subscribe to YouTube. Matt's been uploading shorts.
Speaker 2:Yep, I've actually been trying to be on top of YouTube that we neglected.
Speaker 1:You're doing great and we love you guys, and we'll talk soon. Bye.