Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Masterpieces, Motherhood, and the Merits of Me Time
This week on the podcast we talk about embracing the joy our latest attempt to revive our creative sides, as we sat down and laughed through painting each other's portraits with zero experience painting. After sharing our light-hearted critique of each other's masterpieces, we get into our week experiencing some real art, and wrap up with Bad Dad / Mean Mom.
After going through Greg's Reads of the week we talk through your voicemails and emails! We tackle the myths surrounding what it means to be complete, and the significance of nurturing our relationships and personal time. From pondering the unconditional love for our children and furry friends to championing the beauty of being single, this episode is an invitation to applaud every brushstroke in the painting of life — no matter what picture you're working on.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies. I'm Joe.
Speaker 2:And I'm Matt.
Speaker 1:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to oversharing.
Speaker 1:I think I'm going to go on record to say Matt's the happiest I have seen him since we had kids today, today, yeah, ok, tell me more. You just seem joyful. Wow, yeah, look at that, you just woke up, chipper. You were cracking jokes, you were talkative, you were like yeah, it was, I mean chipper, I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, must have been painting last night, you think. You think that did it Probably. Yeah, you got some art therapy. I love art. I've always loved art. I want to be an artist when I was a kid and I just quit doing it at I don't know 16.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah no.
Speaker 2:I've. I did art for a long time. I won a drawing contest in the third grade.
Speaker 1:Wow, eight-year-old Matt was the drawing king. Drawing king, I was pretty good at drawing, you're still pretty good at drawing.
Speaker 2:Well, drawing takes practice.
Speaker 1:I think I've said on the podcast like a lot of times, that Matt used to hand draw all of my cards and he brought back the tradition from Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2:this year I did.
Speaker 1:That was very sentimental and cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I felt like I needed it. You know you needed a boost. Yeah, You've been running lean lately, so I thought we'd whip out the drawing. You know, you know it doesn't take practice painting.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's easy, easy peasy.
Speaker 2:No, actually I'm kidding I think that you're incorrect.
Speaker 1:Really, yeah, I think that we could actually be, you know, okay. So, backstory, if you missed it on our social channels, matt and I did the date night activity where you draw your spouse. So you sit across from one another at a table and you each have a canvas and paints and you draw portraits of one another or you paint portraits of one another, yes, and you have like an allotted amount of time. We did an hour and a half and then you show each other your results.
Speaker 2:And we both did amazing.
Speaker 1:Highly recommend as a date night activity.
Speaker 2:Now, I did have a lot of help in that you mixed my skin tone.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like that's a lot of help, a lot of help. You had a little bit of help. It was a big part, though, like a good skin tone, a good ingredient to your success.
Speaker 2:But a good skin tone makes a solid base for a painting. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't disagree.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you have a bad skin tone, it already starts out not looking like a human being. Yeah. So you need a good skin tone to look like a person.
Speaker 1:I did think about that after, Like I remember in drawing when so for those of you that don't know I was an art major. My first year of college I was a double major with art and business, but our photography program didn't offer a lot of the things that I wanted and so I ended up dropping my art degree and just getting my business degree. But my first year I was in drawing and I remember that we didn't do like it was like I don't remember what the class was called but we did some drawing that it wouldn't be true to color, so, like you, would pick your own color of things in order to just kind of learn about shading, and I thought about that when you showed me your blue skin tone.
Speaker 1:I was like maybe he's going to do like this abstract, like I'm, like it's me and the shading really shows that it's me, but the colors are more representative of like I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I was just that bad at mixing paints. Baruka, whatever from it was a green, it was a pretty olive ish. It turns out a little green goes along. You're talking about my skin tone. That I mixed first, right.
Speaker 1:I thought it was a blue, no no. It's the color of my sweatshirt, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Which is green?
Speaker 1:Oh, I was going to say that it was. I can see what you're saying, but it's like a green blue.
Speaker 2:Interesting, interesting. It has a lot of green.
Speaker 1:Well, green it yes, okay, but if you're talking about color is it's going to lean one way or the other. Did it lean yellow or did it lean blue?
Speaker 2:I mean, I guess it didn't lean yellow Right, okay. Yes, I know what you're saying, your knowledge of color theory is so much better than mine, and it was showing humongously when we were mixing paint.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because, let me tell you, I also was mixing way too much paint.
Speaker 1:Well, what happened was you were mixing your skin tone and you saw me put a touch of blue into my skin tone because my skin tone was looking a little too pink, yeah, and I was like I think I needed to like tone down a little bit. And you saw that and you thought, oh well, mine's red, so what I need is blue. And you put blue in there Like I don't know. Yeah, that was absolutely crazy.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I was. Yeah, you were doing a great job of like using a little bit of paint and then adding just tiny amounts of paint. I was using too much paint and then throwing lots of paint into it. We were going to like to get it out to a skin tone. I had to stop using it because to get it to a skin tone, I was going to need more white than we had.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that bunch of colors you just like. Cast a tube of white, just demolishing colors, on his palette.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I made a whole plate full of that green. Basically, that's why I had to make. I should have done it all around your face in the green. Yeah, because I had so much green.
Speaker 1:Would you like to add a background to yours before I frame it?
Speaker 2:Honestly, I might need to, because yours really pops compared to mine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to frame them in here, so I'm honestly really proud of them. They're horrible, like they don't look like us at all, but I think they'll be hilarious on our gallery wall, yeah, and I think it's kind of fun.
Speaker 2:I mean, even if they don't, if you don't like them, we can get rid of them. They're not a high dollar canvas.
Speaker 1:I don't want to get rid of them, I'm proud, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I was proud of what we did.
Speaker 1:We should sign them.
Speaker 2:That's a good idea.
Speaker 1:Joe Lamont, age 30, age 31. That'll be fun, did your kids do these.
Speaker 2:I was like oh no, we did that in our early 30s, yeah.
Speaker 1:Mom, did I paint this of you?
Speaker 2:No, that was your dad. No, you could never.
Speaker 1:I really did think it was funny. We were working and obviously so we got this idea from TikTok.
Speaker 2:It's very popular on TikTok right now.
Speaker 1:People are doing it and I will say like we've found a lot of fun date night activities from TikTok over the years and this is maybe my favorite that we've done but again and again we saw men either not pay an effort in to like paint their wives or they were really bad, Like I think some of them really did try and just they weren't that good, which is fine, but Matt made a really good point while he was painting.
Speaker 1:Well, one, there are two things that you said last night that had me absolutely cackling, and the first one was we were both staring at blank canvases. Matt and I have never painted before. No Like at all. I have never, ever tried to paint.
Speaker 2:I probably did watercolors 20 years ago A couple of times. Well, I guess.
Speaker 1:yeah, I like painted in like a high school art piece.
Speaker 2:I've never used acrylic paint.
Speaker 1:I don't know that I not like. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I've never painted something like that.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So we're talking about that and Matt looks at me so serious I wish I could like express to you guys how deadpan he was. And he looks at me and goes what if we're like really good at this and it's not funny at all and I wanted to pee my pants. I was laughing so hard like that. That could even be a possibility.
Speaker 2:I should have filmed behind the scenes because I was doing so many bits.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I wanted a beret. I thought that was going to be. I think if I had a beret my picture would have been better.
Speaker 1:At one point I was painting with both hands.
Speaker 2:At another point, I was holding four or five brushes with paint on them at one time. Yeah, I was really doing some things.
Speaker 1:Well, the other comment that really got me is we've been working for probably 40 minutes or so and Matt looked at it and he's like I don't think it really looks like you. And I said, well, that's okay, like it's part of the fun, you know, just like we'll have a good time, it's all good. And Matt said, well, I guess if my strategy isn't to make it look like you, I have to ensure that it's good looking.
Speaker 2:That's the least I can do. Yeah, I do think like if you're trying, you're going to have to make it look good looking. If you try and make a monster, then that's kind of offensive.
Speaker 1:I thought that was really funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but both of them turned out pretty good Really.
Speaker 1:I really think people have a lot to say about what's wrong with mine online.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:People made no criticism really on yours other than they're saying like who they think I look like. But on mine I've had more comments. Not nobody's been mean or anything.
Speaker 2:Yours has a unique style.
Speaker 1:But people have been making comments about like the jawline's wrong, the hair's wrong, I thought the jawline was the skin tone the way I did. The skin's wrong, like different people have said different things and I think wholeheartedly that the biggest error I made is your eyes being quadrupled the size they should be.
Speaker 2:That's true. No one has ever said that I have big eyes and that painting has the biggest eyes you can put on a human being.
Speaker 1:And I had a hard time drawing, like painting them the size that they were. I just don't have, like I'm not doing minute little detail. I gave you small eyes.
Speaker 2:I gave you small face. Your face was 15% smaller than the human face should be on your head.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I made you too big. I ran out of room at the top, so your head goes off.
Speaker 2:I would have been better served doing your glasses first, because that would have given me a better scale for your face, because I would have been able to see that the glasses extended to your temples.
Speaker 1:So I will say that's how I started. I started mine like I would start a sketch.
Speaker 2:I did too, but I didn't do the eye locations, Like I just did eye height, nose height, mouth height, but I didn't do the vertical lines. Okay, are you talking about where you like halfway up ahead is where the eyes are Halfway between there and there is the nose, like halfway between the middle and the bottom is the nose and then halfway between that and the very bottom is the mouth? Yeah, yeah, I made little marks for that so that your scale up and down is solid.
Speaker 1:Like I thought I nailed your face shape. Yeah, you killed it. And everybody keeps like commenting about how my face shape is wrong.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what your painting is? Remarkably not like a photograph Like. You're a surprisingly bad, perfect impressionist painter. You know if we're going to keep you on that scale of like.
Speaker 1:I wasn't sure. I was just trying to paint something that depicted you.
Speaker 2:For a world-class artist, it's not very good.
Speaker 1:Thanks, babe. Just saying Well, you know, you win some, you lose some. Do they think you're a painter Do?
Speaker 2:they think you have like years of classical, like painting, training.
Speaker 1:No, I just think people are looking at it and like saying what they think. Yeah, like he means anything offensive, okay.
Speaker 2:They're ignoring your three years at Juilliard, for Okay.
Speaker 1:I know genuinely people say like, if you're not good at it the first time, never try it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what I say, and look where it's gotten me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, apparently in a painting class, because you think you're phenomenal.
Speaker 2:I was really talking it up when I was making it.
Speaker 1:It was good.
Speaker 2:And then you turned yours around and I was like oh, yours is better than mine.
Speaker 1:No, they're different.
Speaker 2:They are different. They're different strengths. Again, if my face would have been big enough, wide enough, I don't want to try again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like now that we've done it, I'm like, oh man.
Speaker 2:It's like a thing we just do now, like once a week we're competitively painting each other's faces I bet we'd get better oh for sure.
Speaker 1:Eventually we're doing like full portraits scenes, Like you in like a chair with like bogey on your lap and yeah, like you on a horse A little cherub. Yeah, it's you as a centaur, yeah.
Speaker 2:We do like fantasy ones. We're just illustrating a book that's never been written. These are ideas.
Speaker 1:What if we did that for a couple of years and then wrote a book to accompany our two?
Speaker 2:years of painting To make like the art. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like we do, two years of paintings once a week and then our date night becomes writing a chapter.
Speaker 2:Well, most books are illustrated before they're written, correct?
Speaker 1:No, this is not about getting a finished product that's publishable. It is about us having a good time.
Speaker 2:I would think not.
Speaker 1:Like think about how much fun that would be. We sit down once a week after we finish our painting. Then we start writing once a week a chapter.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:At the end. Well, we'll paint from one year.
Speaker 2:At the end we'll have a bad looking and very bad written book.
Speaker 1:We'll paint from one year, or actually you know what? I take it all back Every other week. One week we paint, next week we write the chapter, then we paint, then we write the chapter. Then the fun in that is that like we paint the scenes. Yeah, we don't know where. We think we want it to go, but we don't know what one another thinks, like where we think it's going.
Speaker 2:It's like a choose your own adventure, but choose the other person's adventure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's the same book.
Speaker 2:Okay. Are we writing about ourselves or writing about the other person?
Speaker 1:I don't know. We still have to figure that part out.
Speaker 2:Like is it better to write a story that you've drawn pictures for me, or is it? Am I writing my own pictures why?
Speaker 1:do. I love this idea and I feel like you're making fun of me. It actually sounds like so much fun to me.
Speaker 2:It could be done. Well, I'm concerned about writing an entire chapter in a sitting. That seems difficult.
Speaker 1:Okay, a scene. It's not like.
Speaker 2:Okay. Okay, I was like what are we doing? Sitting down writing, like All we got to do is write 20 pages tonight.
Speaker 1:Well, it's not like we're actually writing something Like. I think that you get a little confused with the fact that not everything has to be like published quality, Like right now you're talking.
Speaker 2:That was my problem painting as well. I was like, well, this is terrible, but also it's like really good for me. But it was good enough that I was like okay, this is pretty good for someone who's never held a paintbrush before. But I also took it way too seriously.
Speaker 1:Like genuinely, right now, as we're talking about this, you're like, well, if it's not going to be the next game of thrones, I don't want to write it.
Speaker 2:No one's going to buy the rights to this book.
Speaker 1:And I'm just doing this as a fun activity that we put on the shelf that our kids in 50 years are like what the hell's this? And we just crack up.
Speaker 2:You're like it's one of the best books ever written. Yeah, and they read in there like that was hot garbage.
Speaker 1:But at least we look back and know that we had a grand Italy time together.
Speaker 2:That is true. I have a real problem with that.
Speaker 1:Taking things a little seriously, Well, you're not here to have fun Competitively no.
Speaker 2:You're here to win. I'm here to snap necks and cash checks. That's always been my lifestyle.
Speaker 1:For somebody that, like, does neither of those things. No, yeah, that has never, yeah, done either of those things. I just want to check.
Speaker 2:I left my job two and a half years ago, so no, two years ago, yeah.
Speaker 1:So right about then, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool Cool. What else have we done this week?
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 1:We went to Crystal Bridges, we did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we went to a museum. We got to go to the press debut of it. So we got to walk through it like just with a handful of other people.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's called Exquisite Creatures. It's going on at Crystal Bridges in Bentonville, arkansas, which is local to us, and it is a temporary exhibit. I think it runs through the end of July. Yeah, another ad, that's not an ad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, crystal Bridges Museum.
Speaker 1:And it's free for members of the museum and then, I think, to get into the exhibit. It's free for kids 18 and under and it's $12 for a ticket for an adult if you're not a member.
Speaker 2:It's worth the price of admission.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the rest of the museum like if you made a trip to go the rest of the museum's always free admission, yeah, to go into, and yeah, that's just a good little tidbit and there's tons of stuff to do outside too. But it is this gallery. It has over 10,000 specimens in it, the artist is Christopher Marley and I believe he's out of Oregon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:He has put together their bugs, spiders, sea creatures, reptiles which when I was reading the description of it I was like I don't know that. This is for me Like.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know that doesn't sound. Oh my gosh, from the moment we walked into this place.
Speaker 2:I thought you saw something in the room.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:The admission was like terrifying to me.
Speaker 1:Well, we walk into this gallery and the first piece you see are these like I don't even iridescent blue, like, like metallic flies, yeah they were like metallic blue. Yeah, yeah, it was insanity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's all these and it's all real. Yeah, it's all real and he talks about it. He's like. Insects are one of our like are a very renewable resource, unless you destroy their habitat, in which case not so much. You can definitely lose species that way, but generally they die all the time and you can use those and that's what he does, is he?
Speaker 1:And they don't kill any of the specimens. They get them through conservationists and ethical breeders or from like zoos, all kinds of things like when those animals pass. I guess they put them in freezers often.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, there's not. Yeah, I think it's kind of tricky to dispose of some of those things. It's like I mean, think about it, If you have a tiger die, what do you do with it? Like I don't.
Speaker 1:The same thing you would do to a person I did and center it. Okay, yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 2:Well, apparently not so much. Apparently, they put a lot of them in freezers, but so that's where he gets stuff is. He has relationships with different animals, people that have animals.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So there's, it's. It's unbelievable. There's everything from insects like tiny, tiny insects all the way up to humongous like sharks and snakes and horseshoe crabs and crazy stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was insane and so everybody should go. Matt and I, like, on our way home we were like how did we get invited to that? That was crazy.
Speaker 2:It was so cool.
Speaker 1:We had such a blast and then we ended up that was on a Thursday, and then that Saturday we had my parents come to Arkansas and I made Caroline and her boyfriend Chris meet us and I got everybody tickets, yeah, and I was like we're going, you have to see this.
Speaker 2:It's yeah, we've told pretty much everything we've met.
Speaker 1:I mean it was spectacular. I can't stop talking about it. I think other people will be equally impressed, like everybody that went with us was like okay, wow, yeah, this is really cool.
Speaker 2:Because it's all in a. It's in an environment you wouldn't expect. It's not like taxidermy or going through a like a museum. And that's where this is the first time it's been displayed in an art museum, not in like a natural or natural history or a science museum, so, but it is very much an art display, like it's all in a very neat, curated form but all these real things it's wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's something else. So if you're local to our area or like are planning a trip to our area sometime in the first half of this year, you have to go. Yeah, have to go.
Speaker 2:He travels with it a lot too, so it's probably going to other places yeah.
Speaker 1:Keep an eye out, I guess. So that was cool. What else, do we have anything else on the on the docket that we did this week? Do you have any bad dad? Mean mom, bad dad?
Speaker 2:Oh, I can't not not off the top. I feel like I've been parenting pretty perfectly this week.
Speaker 1:I have a mean mom.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And that is our toddler has decided that she loves the shower over a tub. Oh Like, she's obsessed with the shower and I like. A big parenting rule that I have is I don't lie, Like I don't lie to my kid. I like I don't mean, I mean like white lights. You know how some parents will like tell their kids something spicy because they don't want them to eat it, or they'll tell them something I don't know. I'm trying to think of an example like that yeah, yeah. We try not to build like or like.
Speaker 2:The park is closing like yeah it's not open today, kind of stuff we try to be. We're not perfect at it, for sure, but we do our very best to answer things truthfully and like nope, we're not going to the park today because we don't have time or because we don't want to. Yeah, we're tired, whatever it is. We're going to be pretty honest about a lot of that and again, not perfect, but we do our best.
Speaker 1:But the difference between the shower and the bathtub is she doesn't get tired of being in the shower, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like a water park in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she thinks it's the best, but we have a huge. Honestly, what I should do I wouldn't have to lie to her if I had her shower in her shower.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would be less exciting.
Speaker 1:So on our bathroom, Matt and I splurged when we renovated the house and got a tankless water heater. So, we have endless hot water in our bathroom, yeah, and so it just never got cold, like there was never any deterrent for her to get out.
Speaker 2:Even our bathtub's not insulated, which we chose not to do. You've had it sometimes in an insulated tub, like. If you don't, the problem is you have to mix the bathtub perfect temperature, because it doesn't cool off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I purposely picked a not insulated tub because I would cook myself. But I had to turn the water to like ice cold on her and I was like, oh, we ran out of hot water because I couldn't get her out of there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're trying to conserve the planet a little bit, the very least.
Speaker 1:So that was my mean mom. It worked yeah.
Speaker 2:But if she found out there's a tankless water heater over here which she will eventually find out.
Speaker 1:And that's the kind of stuff that's why I don't like to like. It's kind of like with the park, like eventually your kids likely going to find out that parks are open seven days a week, during whatever daylight hours, like even if it's all the way into their adulthood. Eventually it's likely that they're going to find out that, like, tootsie rolls aren't spicy you know, and I don't like them to think back and be like wait, were my parents like I don't know? I think that it builds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just so we try to make as few opportunities for our kid to A road. Their trust in us is possible. Yeah, it's not perfect. No, I'm gonna find out we have a tankless water heater and then hopefully not just run our Our utility bill through the ceiling when she finds that out exactly. That's the, that's the hope.
Speaker 1:But no bad dad, though, you're just perfect.
Speaker 2:Oh, we did some gardening outside. I was trying to think of didn't hit her with a rake or anything.
Speaker 2:No no, we had a pretty collaborative week, bed times been going better. So dad quite literally spent last week's therapy session on Learning to regulate better at bedtime because the two-hour bedtimes were getting to him. So, yeah, it's been a bit of much better week for sure. So Should we do Greg's reads of the week then? Yeah, greg's your dad. He reads a lot of news, he sends us some of that news and, and Sometimes those article titles give us anxiety. So we rate those titles one to five, how much anxiety they give us. So what's the first one?
Speaker 1:Realtorcom adds climate change risk features. 40% of the US homes show risks of Interesting articles. What he said.
Speaker 2:Oh, was that a.
Speaker 1:Got it. Show risks of heat, wind, air quality.
Speaker 2:Okay, the full. That's the actual tip. I'm yeah.
Speaker 1:Apple news didn't, and so they the climate change features, or heat factor, wind factor, air factor, and it shows like an air quality index over the last 30 years. It shows the risk of being exposed to wind gusts more than 50 miles an hour and it shows the heat factor, so there's like a heat index of how often they're gonna have whatever days.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know three. Yeah, it's got real anxiety in there. Realtorcom was on a good start.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say like two and a half, because it's just climate scary, like climate change is really really terrifying, yeah, and it feels very out of control. Honestly, I feel like a lot of the things in the world right now that are big, feel very out of my control, like there are a lot of things that I feel like we probably need to be Collaborative as a culture and community in order to advocate for change, and I think we're in such a season where everybody is so divisive.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, yeah and the things that are that make the biggest impact or, in like the least, have the least benefit to the people that really have influence. You know it made. You know it's not in their best interest to prioritize a lot of the things that are important, yeah, and that would make a big difference, yeah, so that doesn't feel good.
Speaker 1:So alright. Article number two Realtors reach historic $418 million settlement upending lucrative Commission system. To I don't know it's. It's not one for me Just because I'm not a Realtor. Realtor and it doesn't impact my day-to-day, it doesn't cause me personally anxiety. I did think it was interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, again, just realtor, all that like it's giving me a little anxiety. Just why? Why is this suit happening? What's going on? Why did they win so much money? Yeah, so okay last one.
Speaker 1:Yep. These nine portfolios can double your lifetime returns. Ah three yeah, three and a half three to four, yeah any like returns portfolio lifetime?
Speaker 2:Yeah, reminding of some more, you know, Mortality.
Speaker 1:I think those are maybe all my trigger words, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I just anything about taxes taxes is a real trigger word.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it doesn't say, I'm just saying there's other trigger words.
Speaker 2:I think it was like the IRS has these portfolio tips to yeah reduce your tax burden until you die. Yeah, that would be a red hot. Five out of five, that's an absolute not for me.
Speaker 1:I would prefer to never honestly hear any of those avoid these portfolio traps, they know yeah by an IRS auditor.
Speaker 2:No thank you, yeah, no, no, thank you see, but it would catch your eye, but that article gets clicks. I.
Speaker 1:I yeah, maybe the war.
Speaker 2:It repels people badly TBD other people probably.
Speaker 1:I don't know what my thing is. I don't like did you grow up? What's weird is, when I say this, I feel like it's gonna make it sound like I had parents that were doing shady things, and my parents are literally the most or at least from my perspective like a very straight laced by the book, like my dad. January 1st, the man's taxes are done, like you know he first in line at the account.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like he is not gonna let something hang over his head. He's getting it done, he's doing it right and, if anything, he is like Probably going over hyper vigilant. Yes For sure. And yet I grew up.
Speaker 2:I think that hyper vigilance Made me think that I need to be like, terrified of the IRS well, I think, if the hyper vigilance doesn't like, isn't your hyper vigilance, you're like oh, this is like crazy serious right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's how you interpret it outside and I, as an adult, just can't seem to get past that. Like it gives me so much anxiety and it is, I think, that tax season is the single-handedly like the most. I'm not really an avoidant person. Yeah, like I don't avoid things across the board, I would really say I'm Somebody. That's about small, consistent steps. I think that that is a reliable way to work out.
Speaker 1:Most things in your life is small, consistent, small, consistent, and For some reason, that is where I just yeah, you really try to like tear things on yeah and that's one that is concerning oh it like I'm just paralyzed, and I don't get paralyzed very often, so Anyway great enda Greg's read the week. I do think that that was like a helpful read it was an interesting read. It was not like when I read it. I wasn't like oh my gosh, this is so scary.
Speaker 2:Just the headline made me go E but that's not what we're about at Greg's reads of the week. No, it's reads of the week is about article titles. Correct because reading is for nerds. Correct. That's what the principle is right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, aren't we hitting emails today Like, yeah, we have a big plan?
Speaker 2:with a bunch of emails that we can get to, but do you want a word of the week?
Speaker 1:Sure yes proviso, proviso that's English.
Speaker 2:That's English proviso proviso Slang no, it's used more in legal.
Speaker 1:Proviso proviso spell that wait. No, let me try to spell it Hold on.
Speaker 2:PRO V IZO that's an S, oh, oh. Oh, okay, proviso proviso no very very so provide, provide, so Proviso that actually makes it better for me.
Speaker 1:I thought you were saying in a Z, not an S, which I know it's not that different, but for like anyway Again yeah. I don't think all this works right for words.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me what it means, proviso proviso is something added to a document or agreement that details the terms. You might agree to buy a used car with a proviso that the fuzzy steering wheel cover is included as part of the sale.
Speaker 1:I like that. Yeah, I like that proviso a proviso proviso.
Speaker 2:Proviso really hammering that ass Sorry. I'm not trying you're, you're taking any.
Speaker 1:It's trying to remind me of how to spell it got it Okay, proviso. I just want you to know that there are people who listen to this podcast that are on your side people Language for a living and they do not appreciate how you berate me. I'm sure they actually they think it's hilarious, but it's their internal monologue.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:Honestly, they haven't said that. They've been very encouraging. Now that you've said that, I like that little drip of insecurity you dropped into me, you're welcome. Okay, we have one voicemail and then we can hop over to emails. All right, let's get another one.
Speaker 2:That sounded so bad.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I just finished listening to your most recent podcast and I was just curious as to what app you guys use that you Do your quizzes on every night. I love your podcast and thanks. This is actually. I was shocked you guys on weekend chats after last weekend's episode, so many of you I had, I think, over 10 people in my weekend chats, which is a ton for the exact same question. Yeah, especially when related to the podcast.
Speaker 2:Because it's very much each audience for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it feels like it. Anyway, I'm so glad all of you are here. I feel like you guys are like my nearest and dearest. Yeah, paired is the one that we use. We actually I subscribed us to two different ones because I didn't know which one was better and Then they both offered me deals and then I Panicked and joined both of them and so you don't need both. But no, we have paired and we also tried official. Official isn't as good. It's still a good app, like I like it, but paired is far superior in my opinion and I really like it. They have a ton of different things. They have like daily conversation recommendations and then they like show the trending quizzes and I can read you yeah, I can read you like what the different categories?
Speaker 2:are. Yeah, I think official has good stuff, but paired is a more intuitive app. Like it's easier to navigate and it like it. It suggests more stuff for you.
Speaker 1:It does more it has a lot more content on it as well. So, unpaired, the conversations by area or communication Conflict sex and intimacy, connection, meaning and growth, money and finances, fun and excitement, home and work, family and friends, and then you can talk about all those different topics through questions, games, exercises, packs and quizzes or the five different like activity categories, and then you can also journal through it and plan date nights and Communicate with one another. And so I at first Thought that it was very cheesy, like the concept. So I kept getting ads for apps like this and I was like I think that's kind of cheesy, you know. And then I don't know how it came up between us, but Did I bring it up? I must have brought it up.
Speaker 1:But I at some point got an ad that worked on me and so I decided I was like, well, we'll download it and see, because Matt and I definitely have a hard time communicating and having new conversations with just us is what I would say we talk, we have a great time together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we can converse, but initiating conversations is not always straightforward.
Speaker 1:And so this was really helpful, because it's almost like having a third party that kind of plans the questions and then both of us are committed to participating.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think that's been really good for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it helps me, since it's not. Sometimes I need a little bit of time or a little bit of space to feel More like to think about the question and really not feel pressured to answering or reacting a certain way.
Speaker 1:Do you know what my theory is also and you can tell me if this is totally off base? But I think it's really helpful to you because I think that if I ask you directly the questions, that you feel like I have an agenda or that I'm looking for a specific answer, but because the question is coming from like a third party, I don't think you have that same pressure of like, oh, she wants me to answer like this or she's looking for this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it definitely.
Speaker 1:Is that? I don't know if that's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's almost the benefit of like therapy and that it's a third party and a prompt that you know everybody's coming to with the same premise, I guess. Yeah, definitely, thoughts. Yeah, I agree with that. Okay, so no, I think it's been good. I'm not as good about remembering to keep up with the app and you get really excited and then you answer like 75 quizzes.
Speaker 1:That is not true.
Speaker 2:No, okay.
Speaker 1:That's, you can look at what dates I've done them. Like I would love for you to go in and look, because it's funny that you just said that, because there were so many and Matt went through a season where he wasn't checking it, but I still went and did it every day because it was a habit for me, and so then Matt felt overwhelmed because he hadn't done it for eight days and he's like you're taking all of these quizzes, but if you look at the dates, I did one a day.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Always, it was one a day, You're right you're right and you can see all the dates.
Speaker 2:You're right.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying that just because you dissociated for eight days doesn't mean that I went crazy. It means you dissociated for eight days.
Speaker 2:Many had another mental health break. It was fine, no big deal.
Speaker 1:No, and it was no big deal. You just did a couple Like you did two a day for four days instead of yeah, try to catch up a little bit at a time. Yeah, to not burn myself out mentally Well, and that's the nice part I think about the app is like it's no big deal if you're busy for a few days and you don't hit it. Yeah, Like they're still there.
Speaker 2:And again, I think it's a great fit for people that like maybe you're on different schedules. We've had a lot of questions like that. They're like okay, we do different things at different times, like these kind of things can give you some that was a small one time. It's on your own time, but it does help you feel more connected.
Speaker 1:For sure it gives you more information about your partner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've been enjoying it.
Speaker 1:All right Emails. Emails.
Speaker 2:We had a lot of them.
Speaker 1:Email inbox. Email inbox.
Speaker 2:There we go. There's a new jingle. All right, you want to read it.
Speaker 1:I guess, yeah, I got it Okay. Hi, joe and Matt, my husband and I got married in the summer of 2023. We went on our honeymoon and got the news that we were expecting our first child, which we are so excited for. We've been talking about starting our family for a long time and are so so feeling so blessed that it happened so quickly for us. We are due in the fall and can't wait to meet our little squish.
Speaker 1:I have two very different questions, so I'll start with the heavier one. First, for backstory, my husband and his brother don't get along and haven't talked for a few years, but still attend family events. His brother is getting married around the same time as our babies do date and therefore he won't be able to make it to the wedding. His brother, and sometimes my husband's entire side of the family, will make a big deal out of things that upset his brother, and I feel he will somehow play the victim card and try to make this will look like it was done out of spite, which it obviously was not, since the chances of conceiving monthly aren't great to begin with.
Speaker 1:We have told his parents and other siblings that he gets along with, that we are expecting, and they are incredibly excited, but we didn't tell them exactly when we were due, mostly because we have yet to get an ultrasound confirming the date, but also because we know that our due date could cause issues between the sibling, because the sibling thinks the world should revolve around them and their events. We haven't told his brother and don't plan until the second trimester. How would you go about navigating that? It's causing me a lot of unnecessary stress, hmm, I.
Speaker 2:You got a spy baby right.
Speaker 1:Well, I also don't think that you know whether it's going to impede you attending an event or not.
Speaker 2:yet yeah, because you can go early, you can go late and especially on your first to be Well and is the wedding local.
Speaker 1:Is it not, like I realize, if you travel, like you're not going to be able to travel, if you're past 36 weeks, like there are things, but I don't know?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Is it a flight? Is it a drive? Is it a yeah?
Speaker 1:I'm not a big believer in stressing about other people's feelings in regards to things you can't control.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you can't control this, and so find out your official due date, let people know and then see how it goes. I mean, like definitely ensure that nobody's making special plans around you for the wedding. But you know like it works out, how it works out. My sister wasn't at my wedding reception.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And for no reason really. Like she just texted me that week and was like, yeah, I'm not down and I was like, okay, and we're still like I don't know. I think that how people react to things like that and the drama like you can either allow it to settle in and really define how you feel about yourself and those family members, or you can let it roll off your back, and obviously that's easier said than done. But you're having a baby, you have enough on your mind. Don't spend time thinking about it if you can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's very little you can change about that. There's not. It just kind of is how it is as much of a platitude as that saying is. In this case you're not. You don't have a lot of influence over which way it goes, and so find out your due date. Again, that's a great point to not like have special plans made around him, but if it's something you can make it to, great, not that's just how it's going to be. Yeah, all right, less serious question.
Speaker 1:Less serious question was our best tips for new parents?
Speaker 2:Best tips for new parents.
Speaker 1:Take lots of pictures, which I know sounds obvious, but even if you have to, like set a reminder, take as many photos as you can, from as many angles and as like of everything you're doing, all of the ugly moments, all of the great, perfect moments, all of the everything. Yeah, because it will become blurrier and blurrier the further you get from it. You don't forget, but it's just not as like crystal clear, and so I think the more you can document and the more you can write about how you're feeling and what you're thinking, the better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're sleep deprived and like going through a lot, so it's tough to recall all that time.
Speaker 1:So that would be my biggest one. Also, the BabyBjorn Bouncer is worth the investment and the other bouncers aren't as good. That's like a super hot. Like I don't have very many takes like that. I'm big on like well, something different. Work, show everybody. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But all of my friends, like my friend Bree, had a baby this past winter and she didn't get the BabyBjorn. She got like a different brand. I don't know if it was more aesthetic or if it was a less expensive one or what. Like some people have gotten more expensive ones that are like way prettier. Some people have gotten cheaper ones that are just, you know, a better price point and everybody always is like gosh, dang it. And Bree ended up going out and buying the BabyBjorn, yeah, and she texted me. She was like you were right.
Speaker 2:It's, yeah, it's the best and your kid can use it for a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's especially in the first little while. Divide and conquer I mean tip for dad is really try and help with anything you can, because there's going to be a lot that you can't do, and so just be, you know, available.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Okay, I picked another email. All right, it starts off with very nice words to us, but I'll skip that part rather than patronizing you guys through. Is that the right? No, that would not, as patronizing would not be right. I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, it's not patronizing. No, what would it be? You guys can't handle those little nice words. That would be like patronizing. Yeah, I know, that's why I was like that's not boring.
Speaker 1:Or boring, I guess. Anyway, okay, her question is when you guys were talking about bringing kids into your life and ready to take that next step, was there a part of you that was sad it would no longer just be Joe and Matt? My boyfriend has been ready for kids for a long time and my path has taken a bit longer. I want to have kids with him and we believe we're as ready as you could be for that next step and as excited as we are. A part of me can't help but feel sad I'm not sure if that's even the right word that at some point in the future it won't just be me and him. I hope that makes sense. I know kids expand your heart and love in ways you can't imagine, and maybe it's because I'm just a giant bag of sentimental goo, but I'm hoping other people have felt the same.
Speaker 2:Hmm, interesting.
Speaker 1:The night before. I'm going to tell the story of the night before we went into the hospital to give birth to Gardner. I bawled the whole weekend before because we got induced at 41.1 and every day I would just cry and cry and cry because I was like it's never going to be like this again. I was like I'm never going to get to cuddle with you ever again, like it'll never just be us ever again, because so many people expressed that to us and as people who have very little help in the traditional sense, like I have never been away from the kids for more than three nights and we've only been away from the kids both of us at the same time, once ever.
Speaker 2:Two nights, three nights.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know, it was two or three, I think it was two nights actually now that you're saying that.
Speaker 2:Two nights, three nights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it was two nights, and I'm about to go on my longest trip ever away from the kids in a couple weeks, and so, like we don't have a ton of alone time, we have some childcare during the day, during the week, and we obviously work together, so we get that time. But I have actually been pleasantly surprised at as long as Matt and I are prioritizing time with one another. Well, there have been seasons where it hasn't been like this. I don't get me wrong, but for the most part we really have gotten time together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those kids going to bed, yep, but we make it a priority and it's not always. No, it's not like it was before. Kids, it's not, you know five hours.
Speaker 2:You're going to have a weekend like a whole weekend to yourself, right, without somebody watching them.
Speaker 1:Which, if you have that privilege, that's absolutely phenomenal.
Speaker 2:We just don't want to assume that you have a ton of external support. If you do, it will be even more possible. You're still going to have to prioritize, yes, like scheduling and getting people involved and making all of that happen. But even if you don't have that kind of thing, you're going to have time together.
Speaker 1:Yes, and also I feel like kids is such a temporary season and I realized that once you have kids there forever like you know you're always going to have obligations emotionally and physically and task related as a parent, but the how demanding it is can really, for the most part, pending healthy kids, you being healthy, like those are obviously all factors here, but for the most part, eventually things free up and there is time for your identity outside of kids, like it's a season. So all of that, to say yes, I very much felt that way prior to having our first. And you know what, sometimes I do look back and think, you know, it would be kind of nice to have waited a few more years in ways, but I don't know that it actually would have been, because I think I would have to know what I know now in order, like it's one of those hindsight 2020 things that I do things differently, if you understood what the future was going to be, yes.
Speaker 2:But you can't, and so you won't do the things that you wanted to have done.
Speaker 1:And I don't even think there's something I could tell past me for her to have. You know what I mean. Like it really comes in the lived experience and I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds like, like I think back on that season and you are, um, you were so work motivated and everything like you would have poured yourself into work and we would had a lot of time together and done a lot of fun things, but you would have continued that path.
Speaker 1:I also want to know what you said Like. I know that people say like kids grow your heart in a way that you're not able to comprehend and it's a love you can't comprehend, and I have a really hot take in that that I don't think that's true in how people talk about it.
Speaker 2:Interesting, okay, expand.
Speaker 1:Maybe you feel differently but, yes, you love your kids in a way that I think you will never love other things. But it's not in quantity, it's not in the broadness of your love. I think that it is just different loving kids and different loving pets and different loving, you know, different family members. Like I just think there are different varieties of everything and it's one more flavor of it and I think something about that. The way people talk about that to me feels really dismissive of people Interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm probably over, like, but I take me like two personally, or like uh.
Speaker 1:I think there's something about it. Like everybody told me something I heard a lot before I had kids, I feel like is oh well, once you have kids, like I feel bad for our dogs because you know our dogs used to be our whole world and now we barely even you know like yeah. I would. You know, I love my kids so much more than my dog and I'm like I don't think I love my dogs less.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:My kids took a different position and a different, like part of my life for sure. But I don't think I love my, my dogs any less. There's still a priority. They're still I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's like having more kids, though it's, it's a time constraint, it's not a it's not a how much you love each thing, it's that you have more time constraints and you have to place your time with Whatever needs to be handled, and your newborn children are going to take a lot more care than adult dogs. For sure. I agree with that.
Speaker 1:I just don't like the way people say it, because I think that it sounds magical. No, no, no, I think it sounds scary. Oh, okay, I think that I think it sounds scary for people that are grappling with like do I want kids, do I not? And I think there's this um, like you're going to miss out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you're less than yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you're never going to experience this love. That's the part I don't like. Yeah, cause I don't think that's. I think how you're describing it is so true is like it's another time commitment, and I think that people who choose not to have kids to fill that space with other things are just as fulfilled and just as like having just as um. This has nothing to do with the question, by the way. I don't think that it does. We've gone completely off course. This is not what you were asking, yeah.
Speaker 2:We're just wrapping now.
Speaker 1:Uh, but I think that there is a depth to those experiences too, that people who chose kids will never know or understand.
Speaker 2:And I, I don't know, I just get uneasy, you're not going to get fulfillment from your kids.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Your kids will not make you feel fulfilled. They can make you feel appreciated. You will love them. What kids do is they throw a mirror up to you, like they make you look at yourself, or they should? I don't think that that's true.
Speaker 1:They don't always, but I mean, I think for a lot of people, kids bring fulfillment because it makes people feel needed, it makes people feel wanted, important, and I don't think that that's how parenting is meant. I don't know meant to be done. I don't know, that's real.
Speaker 2:As experts and class, you know, as child psychologists and therapists of many years, many, many years um.
Speaker 1:I have so many hot takes about that kind of stuff, though For sure I I don't know. What do I know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not going to implicitly get fulfillment from that. You're not going to like. Fulfillment is something you develop internally.
Speaker 1:Anyway, returning to your question, yes, I think it's totally normal to be sad about leaving the time of just YouTube behind, but I encourage you and I am cheering for you, and it is totally okay to feel like that. But also know that there is another side of it, and not once since we had our kids have I been like man. I really wish it was just us too.
Speaker 2:There are days. There's days that are hard, where you're like you know what that's true?
Speaker 1:There there are moments Damn.
Speaker 2:this would have been easier.
Speaker 1:But do you ever like?
Speaker 2:have an extended period where I wish like kids weren't around.
Speaker 1:But even in those moments where I'm like that would be easier, I don't wish it was like that, though.
Speaker 2:The thing is, I don't think that way Like okay, I don't I don't To me. My relationship with time is so weird that I'm not like wow, if I'd have done this different. I'm not thinking.
Speaker 1:I'm just like. This is where I am now. One is a fact and one is a feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:To me, it is a fact that I would have more time than if I didn't have kids, which means getting things done could, in theory, obviously be easier than if I you know, Yep. And so that's a fact, not, but I don't feel like I wish that it was like that.
Speaker 2:Fair. Yeah, that's what I mean. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like yes. Things are different, but I do acknowledge that fact sometime, but I never wish it was the reality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can make time for yourself. You have to prioritize it. You can make time for each other. You have to prioritize it. Yeah, it's all about where you uh and and that stuff is good. I mean, I think the healthier your relationship is and the healthier you are yourself, the better your kids will be.
Speaker 1:And I think it's really hard. Priorities are hard because there's always going to be more you want to do than you have time for, or at least I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's. There's pressures outside of you know, externally, that make you feel a certain way about things that maybe you shouldn't.
Speaker 1:Another email? Oh for sure, another email Email. I've got to stop singing. I don't ever listen to the episodes, because I do that. I can't hear it.
Speaker 2:Hmm, fair enough. Hi, joan. Matt, I want to start off by saying how much I admire you both as individuals, a couple and parents. You're always so well thought out and level headed. Sometimes, joe's emotional maturity is aspirational. That is true Most of the time. Uh, I guess I'm writing this because I value your opinion.
Speaker 2:I turned 30 in a week and my life was just flipped on its head. My partner of seven years and I my partner of seven years and I are splitting up. To make a very long story short, we aren't on the same page. We started trying for children and you realized he wasn't ready and needs to figure out his life. I understand, but I am now left here. We're still very much in love, which makes it more difficult. Now we'll be leaving the city that I love to move back to our very tiny hometown. There will be so many hard goodbyes in the coming weeks. The prospect of being 30 now while navigating this makes it feel more bleak. All of my friends have kids and are married. My question is do you have any advice for surviving this? Not only heartbreak, but starting over? Thanks for being a weekly light in all of our lives.
Speaker 1:Very sweet 30 is so young. True, 30 is so young. Everybody say it with me. 30 is so young. You didn't say it with me.
Speaker 2:No 30 is so young.
Speaker 1:Like I can't voice that enough. And did they say where they live?
Speaker 2:Uh, no Okay.
Speaker 1:I think that's a factor too, of a lot of people that I've talked to, like I have a couple really really tight friends like that. I'm very, very close with ones 30. Ooh, 32. Ooh, I hope that's right. 31 or 32 and lives in LA, nowhere close to married, single.
Speaker 1:Another really close friend of mine from high school, like one of my very best friends, is in New York 31, single. Um, they're doing their careers and they're not worried about it. You know, um, it's very cultural. Yeah, I think that it's such a cultural thing, especially, you know, maybe you don't live any of these places, maybe it's just who you're surrounded with.
Speaker 1:But that's that's the point I'm trying to make is, regardless of where you live, if everybody surrounding you that's your age is married, having kids, doing the things, that's who you're surrounding yourself with, that is not a actual like representation of everybody and you have all the time. Like there is so much, like there's not a deadline on happiness, there's not a deadline on relationships, there's not a deadline on experiences. I know that we get told like time and like time and time again that, oh, you're young, do this while you're young, do this while you're young, the biggest thing you should prioritize when you're young, in my opinion, is finding comfort with being alone, establishing routines that support your health and support your mental health, and like really trying to find what sets you on fire, like and just like may see, feel warm and fuzzy inside and excited to wake up and hit the ground running in the morning. Yeah, those should be your only priorities, yeah.
Speaker 2:You're in the sweet spot of finding out who you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like I realize that probably sounds crazy coming from somebody that's like, yes, I'm 30. I have two kids, I'm married, we, like, are homeowners. Like I realize that that's the path we've gone down, but that doesn't mean it's the right path and it doesn't mean it's the only path, and I wish there was a whole lot less comparing and a whole lot more just celebrating, where everybody is Like I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I mean, yeah, I completely agree. It's um, it's tough, but that time where you're having to figure these things out is it's all about learning who. You are, learning what is important to you, learning what's not important to you, and you have time. You have just tons of time. We can't state that enough.
Speaker 1:I also have a really hot. I keep saying hot, take, I got to stop saying that. Hot take queen I also have an opinion in that all breakups are worthy of celebrating. Okay, I know that that's kind of a weird way to look at things, but I think that breakups are such a time of growth and change and big emotional development and work, and I think that if it happened, that means like it happened. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like I mean, honestly, it's kind of an accomplishment, yeah, if you think about it, because that is a big decision to make, but it means that you both had an understanding enough to be like this, isn't it right now? And to be able to actually make that choice and not just go through the motions and do what's easier is really impressive. It's a huge accomplishment, yeah.
Speaker 1:And that doesn't mean you can't be sad about it, Like two things can exist. It can be a huge accomplishment that you are crying about for a minute. Yeah, Like both of those things can be true and that's okay.
Speaker 2:It can be the right choice and feel terrible. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:But I don't know. I just think that it's such a fresh season and it's raw and it is hard, but there is never a season like that in my life that I look back on. That didn't help shape me into where I am now and the way I think about things now.
Speaker 1:And so in seasons that I'm really hurting and really, really struggling, I feel like I say that to you quite a bit. When I'm really struggling, I'm like, okay, well, like I know this is getting me somewhere, like I know that I'm going to be really grateful for the 180 on this later and to have this low to look back on and base things on. And I don't mean that like in a toxic kind of way where you're like, only time you're feeling like that, don't worry, it's going to get better. It's not necessarily. It's definitely sounding like that, but that's not necessarily what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it might not get better right away.
Speaker 1:No, but I would say, eventually all things ease.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. You've made the right choice for you in this time, at this like point in your life and your development, and so try and take some some comfort in that and just just work on you. It's you time.
Speaker 1:It's you time, baby. I don't have anything else. No, no, was that good.
Speaker 2:I hope so I don't know. We talked a lot. Yeah, we did so.
Speaker 1:All right guys.
Speaker 2:No wonder it takes us so long to answer emails. We take like 15 minutes per email.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well.
Speaker 2:And we answered the question in like 35 seconds. So yeah. Sorry guys.
Speaker 1:You guys know what to do. Subscribe rate review oh wow, Whoa Clip that. And on that note, we love you guys and we'll talk to you next week. Bye, Bye.