Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Bottle Blunders and Dance Disasters
We begin today's episode detailing an uncanny ability to destroy water bottles and eye health, and get into the critical mistake it was to review old videos of our early social media days. This episode isn't just about clumsy dance moves, though; it's also a candid look at the domestic comedy of our home office antics, complete with trust falls, and a reality check on how our online persona stacks up against our actual selves. And for those pondering the complexities of family life, we dive into heartfelt discussions on the anticipated joy and logistical ballet of welcoming a new member to the clan.
But it's not all giggles and dance routines; we also explore the tender topics of grief and the challenges of infertility and the trying journey of beginning parenthood. Beyond that, we contemplate the art of balanced parenting, emphasizing the importance of ditching rigid screen-time rules in favor of fostering creativity and engagement. So, whether you're seeking a hearty laugh or sage advice, plug in, and let's share this ride together.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies. I'm Joe.
Speaker 2:And I'm Matt.
Speaker 1:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to oversharing.
Speaker 1:Do you want to talk about your water bottle usage? Because?
Speaker 2:OK, well, I've been accused of breaking all the water bottles at that room.
Speaker 1:OK, before we started recording, we started recording just so we could share this with you guys. Ok, matt had his water bottle. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it. It is a hydro flask that he got in October. Ok, yes, it is just a few short months old. And he said man, I wish I would not have dented the bottom of this.
Speaker 2:I dropped it off the counter and it dented one little corner of it. But now that one dent deformed the bottom so bad that it doesn't it rocks. You may use mine, it's OK. Yours has a jacked up top. I mean I could swap the top for your, but it's OK.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's fine, anyway, ok. So then I asked him what is up with you and absolutely destroying water bottles and really just items you carry around with you in general.
Speaker 2:And I just I resent that statement. I don't think that's true. I've dented this water bottle. Tell us about your water bottle. That was before this one. Ok, my one gallon water bottle jug thing. I did dent that, but that's because I was walking on the ice and I slipped and flew into the air and it went flying and that got dented.
Speaker 1:OK, and the water bottle before that.
Speaker 2:That was a plastic water bottle and over a year or two of use the bottom got cracked.
Speaker 1:It was not two years, Do not try and stretch that, it was like 10 months. It was at least a year.
Speaker 2:And you'd used it before that.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:So I will give myself a year.
Speaker 1:I'd like you to know, as you're saying, that you broke yours after a few months and you replaced it with your friends. Your buddy gave you another one.
Speaker 2:My buddy's ex-wife's water bottle. That's what he gave me.
Speaker 1:Right, and that one you broke too.
Speaker 2:It's not broken, it's fully functional. Ok how many water?
Speaker 1:bottles have you had Not? Like you don't hoard water bottles, Like you know how some people just own 800 water bottles. This is going to be Like you are actually going. You know the purpose is to reuse them.
Speaker 2:They are being re. This is such bullshit. That's what I have to say about this. I'm being called out for a crime I didn't commit, and that is reckless water bottling, and it's just not true. Ok, you should be glad I'm using a water bottle, that's what we're going to go with. I don't know why. That's what I landed on. That was horrible. Yeah, it really has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 1:You should be lucky that I see the bar on the floor.
Speaker 2:I do need to be drinking more water. I'm very dehydrated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Matt's had kind of a tough week.
Speaker 2:Well, just weekend mostly. But yeah, my eye still. Can you be so dehydrated your eye hurts?
Speaker 1:I'm sure you can, but I doubt that's it. So you're kind of freaking me out. What do you think it is? Do you have pink eye? No, ok.
Speaker 2:Is my eye pink? Does it look unwell? It's this one.
Speaker 1:Your eyes look unwell all the time. To me, what does that mean? They're just always bloodshot.
Speaker 2:Oh, On YouTube. See if anything looks wrong. Zoom in.
Speaker 1:I don't think that that's how that works, no, ok.
Speaker 2:Always bloodshot? I don't think they're always bloodshot.
Speaker 1:They're bloodshot a lot. Should we start like what am? I trying to say no, should we start diagnosing you via like WebMD?
Speaker 2:But not WebMD, just listeners.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:Listeners, people watching YouTube. Just diagnose me with something that's not ADHD, Because I know I've got that.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I just feel like your eyes can be on the more bloodshot side most of the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're contacts Like I feel, like your eyes are sensitive. I think they are relatively sensitive.
Speaker 1:I don't mean that they're bloodshot all the time, I guess. I mean they are bloodshot frequently If something irritates them, they. They turn red. Yeah, like if you have any kind of irritant, like I don't know that I've ever really seen my eye red quite like yours have been.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I have sensitive eyes and I think I abused them.
Speaker 1:You, for sure, abused them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not a good combo.
Speaker 1:No yeah. So I'm going to say it's probably not the dehydration.
Speaker 2:I don't know that one eye aches. I'm so sorry, I should probably take a contact out where it glasses.
Speaker 1:But we're already in. You should probably go to the doctor.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's time.
Speaker 2:It is time they sent me a text.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they sent me a text too. We should go we should do it. Date day to the optometrist, which reminds us of how, last year, new Year's, we said we were going to go on dates. How many dates did you plan, matt?
Speaker 2:Did I plan one? No, no.
Speaker 1:No, the start of the podcast today. Is you just getting absolutely roasted?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're calling out water bottle habits, date habits. What else am I doing wrong in life?
Speaker 1:Well, I know it's really interesting. Is that the podcast topic? No, absolutely not Stuff.
Speaker 2:Matt does wrong. No, I'm OK with that that feels comfortable for me.
Speaker 1:I'm not OK with that. Ok, I'm immediately uncomfortable. Whatever, it was funny when we were like I was joking and poking fun. Now that it's starting to get serious, I'm getting a little uncomfy. It's Matt accountability hour no.
Speaker 2:No, what was? What were you saying?
Speaker 1:I was saying that we posted a video on TikTok this weekend about your proposal to me. And I was trying to express that. Every time I tell the story of Matt proposing and I tell the whole story I feel like it looks like such a red flag for Matt and that's what everyone has ever told me when I tell them the story in person, that don't follow us online or anything like that yeah, when you have the time to really explain it out.
Speaker 1:Everybody. I tried to point out a few things in the TikTok, like as I'm filming talking in the entire comment section. It's like no Matt's a green flag and like defending you about how it's not a red flag. I don't know how. No matter what I say, you always are a green flag to people.
Speaker 2:I'm the best. That's special. I'm the best. I'm inherently likeable. I think that's what it is. It is, I think the more I talk about it, the less so.
Speaker 1:But you know, yeah, you're not allowed to say that you're likeable.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the more you say it, the less people, I think, agree with you.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think you need to tell people you likeable Like you walk around.
Speaker 2:You're, just like I'm, the most likable person in the world. That person's not likable.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but you're not doing that. No, but if I start. You're just giving me reasons why people are always like no matter what you say, matt green flag, they just assume the best of you at all times.
Speaker 2:I love it. I'm a 6'2 white man. That's a good start. Never hurts.
Speaker 1:Never hurts to be 6'2 male and white.
Speaker 2:Yep college educated generally inoffensive. Yeah, no, I'm the best.
Speaker 1:Gross no that is disgusting. Somebody's going to clip that and upload just that of you and you're going to get absolutely obliterated on the internet. It's fair, it's fair. I think it is fair.
Speaker 2:You earned it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, I guess, that's kind of our motto, isn't it? That's mine for sure. I love stupid games.
Speaker 1:And you hate stupid prizes. Speaking of, do you just want to start with bad dad, mean mom. Bad dad, what's running up? Matt played a stupid game and the last two days he's been winning a stupid prize.
Speaker 2:That's true. It's a bad prize, really a punishment. Yeah, ok, ok. So our toddler got up. What was that? 1030? So we put her to bed at 7 o'clock, 6 o'clock, whatever it was.
Speaker 1:We were still watching a show.
Speaker 2:We were watching a show, but getting ready for bed and she runs out and she's really cute. She cuddled with me and then she wanted me to take her back to bed and I had just started a game of FIFA and so I was like give me 10 minutes here.
Speaker 1:When you say it out loud, does it feel?
Speaker 2:It was dumb at the time. I knew it was dumb at the time I watched it Singing out loud.
Speaker 1:I watched it and said just give me a few minutes and I was like I get annoyed when you ask me to do that. Yeah, she's a toddler, and so I tried to tell her I'll take her back to bed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when she has an idea of who's doing something, in this case me taking her to bed, she doesn't really want to hear other ideas. Any other alternative plans are pretty much the worst thing that's ever happened, and so you saying you would take her to bed further dysregulated her, and then I ended up quitting the game halfway through anyway to take her to bed. So I really should have quit it right away.
Speaker 1:But you waited like a while you tried.
Speaker 2:I gave it a full half in.
Speaker 1:FIFA.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's like five, six minutes, whatever it was. For her to get really undone, and then she got really mad, and then I took her to bed and then Matt got absolutely got his butt absolutely whooped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then for two and a half hours, every 15 minutes, I would get her to bed. She would be laying there with her eyes closed, I would get out of bed and then she would wake up I mean five to 10 minutes later and then run out of her bed and come find me and I think her expectation was that I sleep in her bed. But it's a twin and so we don't really both fit in there very well.
Speaker 1:She again, six to she wanted me to have nothing to do with it.
Speaker 2:No, she wanted dad there the entire time. So that was about 12.30 to 2.45. Every 15 minutes she was getting me, and about the eighth or ninth time I was really not having a lot of patience for it and was very, very, very tired. Yeah, so that wasn't a great dad moment, but then, you know, she woke up at 6.45 or whatever. So I slept from 3 am to 6.45, maybe, and that was not enough sleep and I've been. Yeah, so many things happened, Matt made he played dumb games.
Speaker 1:anyone dumb prizes in unison?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I just got to sit back and giggle.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think it was less funny because I was so out of commission yesterday that it was an active detriment to the entire family.
Speaker 1:but Well, I took the whole family out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it was. Yeah, I was operating as though I had a hangover, except I was just really tired and I had a stomach bug, and so I was tired and became progressively more dehydrated through the day, and so today I'm less tired. I went to bed at I don't know, nine, eight, 30.
Speaker 1:Eight, 30?, eight 30, you've not gone to bed that early since you were 12 years old.
Speaker 2:Like I hate going to bed early.
Speaker 1:Why Wait?
Speaker 2:that's interesting.
Speaker 1:I'd like to get more into that.
Speaker 2:I think it's you know our toddler doesn't like to go to bed early. I continue to feel that way. What do you mean? I don't understand. I don't wanna miss out On what I don't know. It's only us? Yeah, just my time by myself, or just free time?
Speaker 1:Isn't there a name for that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like it's like you don't feel like you're utilizing your time adequately during the day, so you yeah, you're trying to reclaim time by just doing nothing and not going to bed and ruining your sleep. Somebody out there screaming the name of this and I don't remember it.
Speaker 1:But Psychologically, I think it's just a big F you to yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I have a few of those, but yeah, yeah. So I was very tired, went to bed at nine. I'm feeling better on sleep, but I'm still not fully rehydrated and that's why I think my eye is falling out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Also, my legs were completely cramped to death because I did a terrible workout last Thursday Terrible, terrible workout.
Speaker 1:Speaking of workouts, see look this today's flowing we're doing it. We're doing it. We're just, things are hot. Let's talk about how we no longer are.
Speaker 2:We're no longer working out. No, hot, oh no, oh, my goodness, guys, we made the mistake. So here's the problem when you make content online and you've done it for a few years, you can like go back in time, yeah, and see video of yourself, a lot of video of yourself from four years ago and it turns out it was violent, it was not good. So we thought we were aging well and I think we're doing fine.
Speaker 1:We're not aging well.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, no.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's horrible. I thought I looked pretty good. I was pretty content.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's horrible, it turns out we used to be hot, like we used to look really good, and now we just we look good, look all right, but we have not. We haven't aged well.
Speaker 1:Things are not going well for me. I can tell you that. No, I don't even think I look. I don't know that I think I look bad. I just looked so healthy, like that's the big difference. It's not that I look back. I want to note that because you.
Speaker 2:That's a good point.
Speaker 1:You would think that I look back and I go oh my gosh, I was so like. I feel like a lot of people are drawn toward. I was skinny, or I was I liked my hair or my skin, or I genuinely just all around look healthier.
Speaker 2:We looked vibrant. Yes, yeah we were like alive.
Speaker 1:Yes, we don't look that way right now.
Speaker 2:And then we take video. Now we're like, wow, those people look beaten down, they look tired, which I am tired of.
Speaker 1:2024 is the year that we reclaim the vibrancy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think maybe once a week or so we need to look at video of ourselves and be like look at those two happy, healthy people. Let's work on that, it's definitely motivating.
Speaker 1:I ate a very healthy breakfast this morning. I haven't gotten into any fitness today, but Matt and I are planning to learn to dance and I feel like that alone.
Speaker 2:I mean it takes us like an hour, so usually that is an hour of hard work.
Speaker 1:It normally is like quite a bit of movement.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I mean again, and we're not fast. People that you see, do like dances online. I don't think most of them are taking 45 minutes plus, yeah, but we are, and so we are exhausted by the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it usually takes us a good hour to learn it, If people are ever like wow.
Speaker 2:Matt looks really sweaty in this final take of this video. It's because he's done it 15 to 20 times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's not me going, not good enough. I just want to clarify. Sometimes, right, sometimes I don't like how I look.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I don't think there's ever been a time that I've been like yeah, matt, you look bad doing it.
Speaker 2:No, that doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1:You've asked to re-record because you like to commit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, once I've committed to learning the dance, I would like to be the best to ever do it, and that's not really in my bag as a dancer. But I refuse to be truly terrible at it and I have a pretty warped sense of what's good and terrible. So yeah. I demand more out of myself than someone who has no dance training.
Speaker 1:We're definitely not very good dancers.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no.
Speaker 1:But we have a lot of fun. Yeah, we do. I think that is actually one of my favorite things that we do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's a good like just a team building activity. It's a good team, you know.
Speaker 1:We run our house. We run our house called like a corporate office.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a corporate, and now we're going on the ropes course, do you think?
Speaker 1:you guys trust each other.
Speaker 2:We're in business together. We do trust falls, we do. Yeah, I have never once done a trust fall. No, I don't think you trust me enough to trust fall.
Speaker 1:I don't think I could catch you.
Speaker 2:That's a concern. I don't trust myself to catch you. I would commit, I would let you try to catch me.
Speaker 1:I feel like you'd be pretty like heavy, just dead weight, falling backward right.
Speaker 2:I don't know, don't you think that would knock me over? I don't know, how strong are you?
Speaker 1:Not very OK.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe I used to be stronger.
Speaker 1:I have been working out, you have been working out. I have been lifting weights.
Speaker 2:That's true. We did that dance where you had to catch me.
Speaker 1:That didn't go well.
Speaker 2:No, that's because our, but I think that was a personal problem. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think that was a strength issue.
Speaker 2:I think that was just an overall form and Well, it was a technique issue to begin with, but then still catching me, I think was difficult.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like I watched a lot of people do it with a lot smaller women and a lot bigger men, Were they bigger men. Ok, a lot smaller women with comparable sized men. Ok, and they were fine, so maybe they're stronger than me.
Speaker 2:Or maybe they didn't show you all the takes, where they got absolutely obliterated.
Speaker 1:I doubt it.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think it happened out there. People just weren't sharing the evidence.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that it did happen. I'm not stating it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:OK, ok Fine.
Speaker 1:Although our dancing video from last week, people are realizing for maybe the first time ever that you're not small.
Speaker 2:People think I'm small.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I thought people just thought I was like average.
Speaker 1:No, people think you're small, they think I'm small.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, ok, interesting. They think, well, I'm not lying about the 6'2" guys. I actually am 6'2".
Speaker 1:They think I'm small too Like. They think you're like 5'8", 5'9". Ok, I guess average, yeah, yeah, but they think I'm like 5'4".
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:We're just, we're broad.
Speaker 1:But then you standing in front of me for a video, because you always, matt likes to look smaller.
Speaker 2:No. I like to not be the focus of the dancing because I'm not good at it.
Speaker 1:It's not just dancing, it's when we film in general. Ah, I guess so You're always behind me.
Speaker 2:I like to be further away from the camera. I don't like looking at myself in there.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I'm not loving what I'm seeing right now.
Speaker 1:You like to be smaller.
Speaker 2:It's not, I don't it's not about smaller, though it's just like I want to see myself less. It's different, it's different, I promise.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you see? Less Something that is smaller or something that is bigger? Sure.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying the goal isn't for me to be like little. I'm not saying I'm not like I want to see all of me, but little. I want you to make me look tiny.
Speaker 1:I didn't say that.
Speaker 2:No, that's your goal.
Speaker 1:No, we're not talking about me, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Head and nerve.
Speaker 1:No, because I'm at the front of the camera always and you hate it. I no, I don't hate it, I would prefer to look smaller. But I don't get to look smaller. Fine, because you don't like to look at yourself. Yeah, and I have put my preferences aside so that you can always be so that I can be a little bitty A wee-wittle boy A wee-wittle boy in the back.
Speaker 2:Thank you. You're welcome, that's all I've ever wanted.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, it was really-. That dance was exciting for me, being I was like, look, he's not actually the same size as me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have the same size hands. We do, which is odd.
Speaker 1:It is odd.
Speaker 2:They are-.
Speaker 1:Can they see it in the video? I don't know. Turn them.
Speaker 2:That should be good. Turn them out. I was gonna turn them. We've got our hands okay, my arm doesn't go that way. Ow ow, and you went the wrong way. Okay, ow. Well, on that note Now that I've torn my rotator cuff.
Speaker 1:Do we want to update them on anything else from the week? Did anything interesting happen other than your violent bad dad?
Speaker 2:Other than my hangover. That wasn't my hangover, I said violent bad dad like you were violent. Yeah, like I beat my kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were not violent. It was definitely a play dumb games when dumb prizes.
Speaker 2:It was bad. Yeah, I didn't get enough sleep because I messed up. Yeah, what was your bad? Mom, me mom, sorry.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I didn't come to the table. Oh, I have one. You only came prepared with a bad dad. No, no, no, I have one. I forgot to take ours one year pictures. Oh, okay, that was my, because I wanted to do it the day of his birthday and we like it. Just it didn't happen. Yeah, and so then I told myself the last two weeks that every day I was like I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that. And I finally did it this morning. Oh, good job, thanks. Nice. But mean mom didn't get one year picks. It's one year and two weeks.
Speaker 2:We did it during our our Sam's Club trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:She had fun. Good, we had to get dog food, so that was the big agenda.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she loves Sam's Club, she loves shopping.
Speaker 2:She loves the store, which I did too. When I was a little kid, my mom was like whenever you were really dysregulated, she would take me to Target and just walk around the store with me in the cart. That's so funny. Yeah, I loved it there. I loved the things and the stuff and the people. So, as our kid, she's just a little little version of me.
Speaker 1:You still like Target?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I still like going to the stores. Yeah, you don't like shopping, I don't. You hate shopping I a little bit Now. You really hate online shopping, I do.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So if you're going to shop, you'd prefer to shop in person.
Speaker 1:It actually really shocks me that online shopping is as popular. Like you know what I mean. Like all anybody does Like. When people are like, yeah, I get boxes all the time, I'm like I know I do remember the last thing I ordered online. I was like I don't remember the last thing I ordered online. I do Workout clothes. Nope, victoria Paris. I ordered one of the things from her jewelry collaboration collection.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right and that was what I feel like that's a little more specific, though, like you're not going to find that in a store? In the store, no, exactly, but that's the only time I only buy things online if you can't buy them in a store. 100%, just 100% of the time 100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do not thrive, although I have been. We have two very fancy weddings coming up this summer and I need to order dresses and I think I'm going to have to order something online for them and I'm nervous. I want to find something I feel really good in, but after going through all the old footage of us, I'm feeling a little hard on myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when are they?
Speaker 1:Once in.
Speaker 2:May how long do we?
Speaker 1:have About two months in June.
Speaker 2:It's almost March, so we got two months to whip ourselves into shape.
Speaker 1:I'm not trying to whip myself into shape, I'm not doing that. Oh okay, I'm not saying that I'm not going to like. That's something that I have really worked against doing, because I feel like in my early to mid-20s I did a lot of moving to really unhealthy habits and then deciding like that like well, I have two months, I got to get myself into shape and I got to look great and I would spend two months being really extreme but not really changing any of my habits I love extreme and then I would fall off the wagon and like I don't want to be like that, I just want to cultivate a healthy lifestyle that I am content with. That doesn't feel like I'm doing anything special and I really feel like over the last year I have been moving in that direction.
Speaker 2:You've been doing, yeah, you've definitely been doing better.
Speaker 1:Like I don't think that, my, I don't think I look a ton healthier, but I think I feel healthier and I think, in time, as I continue to add small things, I imagine my apparent words, appearance will evolve with that, or evolve. And this is what I look like and that's okay.
Speaker 2:Food's a big part of it. It's something we're we're working on in this household in general improving.
Speaker 1:What's weird is we really don't eat poorly but we also don't eat well.
Speaker 2:No, we don't eat a lot of like good whole foods and we don't have a lot of good routines around food, and so, um yeah, we're not actively eating terrible, but we're not making conscious choices regularly and routinely to eat well. And we have the ability to, so we should.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love extreme routines. You do, I, I, you know. I personally believe you should just be able to change something entirely overnight. Well and forever.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like that serves you? No, not at all.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't either.
Speaker 1:That's. I thought that.
Speaker 2:I was just curious. No, because then you slip up once and you're like well, I'm a complete failure and I'll never be able to do it.
Speaker 1:That's the part I don't get.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you're like well, I tried to change my entire lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Do you think that that's ADHD? It's something.
Speaker 2:It's something chemistry related.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a little extreme black and white thinking. That's a classic ASD symptom. Okay, symptom, is it a symptom Um?
Speaker 1:I don't think symptoms, the word yeah, it's not a disease.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a trait. Yeah, a trait of being on the spectrum can be black and white, thinking Very. And then you're like well, I don't know if this is right or this is right, unless it's feelings, and then those are all gray.
Speaker 1:We talked about this recently. Yeah, yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, my feelings are completely vague. I can't identify any of them and I filter them all through anger.
Speaker 1:And then everything else is black and white.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then every other thing in life is like yes or no. Oh, that wasn't correct. Well then it was wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's something I'm really learning, like we've been married for almost five years and we should do an episode about that. Yeah, maybe we could do like five the five things we learned in five years of marriage.
Speaker 2:Okay, guys, that's gonna be coming up. We should probably write that down.
Speaker 1:I will write it down, I'll put it in the calendar, but I think one of the biggest things I've learned in the five years that we've been married is what you just said, where, if I tell you something's, wait what did?
Speaker 2:you say Like, if something's not right, like hey, I Need you to do this differently.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that what you did was wrong yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my own personal trauma is like oh well, you're a bad person and you did that wrong, and you're, you're bad.
Speaker 1:Right, like if I have a way that I prefer the bed be made and like Matt makes the bed, not that way, like he makes it how he makes it, and I want to come. I'm like, wow, I'm really grateful that he made the bed. I want to communicate to him that I would like the pillows to be in this order, though.
Speaker 2:If you're grateful, part goes right out the window. Yeah, and hear that that doesn't matter. I'm only validating myself internally. And then I hear you made the bed wrong, you stupid son of a bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And then I've always been really shocked because, like, for the first few years you were married. Even now I'm still not great at it. I was really shocked because I would come with something like that. I'm like, wow, thank you so much for making the bed, but you didn't set up the pillows how I do, which is fine. It looks great, but I really would prefer to do it the way that I ordered the pillows. Can I show you and you just like melt?
Speaker 2:like I guess I'll never do the bed again, got it?
Speaker 1:And I'm like what, yeah, just Happened it's not productive. No, I feel like you've really you've come a long way.
Speaker 2:I've I've tried to adjust a lot of that behavior and thinking, but it's still. It still pops up.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like I've come a long way and like Understanding it to. Yeah, like I'm not, as because at the time I was just like it would throw me and then you're like why did you quit like yeah, why have you? Never made the bed again. Like that was so great. You're like well, you told me I was stupid.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, it's like yeah, I can't do it. No, I didn't do it right, so I figured you didn't want me to do it ever again because I'm bad, it's a whole thing. I'm in therapy, don't worry a whole thing.
Speaker 1:All right. Reads of the week. Yeah, what's Gregman reading this week?
Speaker 2:Greg's, your dad. He sends us articles, and this is Greg's reads of the week, and so we rate the article titles, not the articles themselves, on a one to five scale. How much anxiety the titles give us, so lay it on us.
Speaker 1:Okay, number one. We're only doing three titles. Yeah, we've started doing that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we've cut it down to three because there were some people enjoyed it on the whole, but there are people that like please stop reading me anxiety-inducing articles.
Speaker 1:Opinion. Your 401k will be gone within a decade.
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean as a title it's a five, I guess yeah, yeah that's the title is terrible. I can't imagine that that is entirely accurate. Like what is it that 401k accounts are going on a vogue.
Speaker 1:They're trying to like the government going against them because they feel like they're not Getting their theirs. Oh, with taxes on account of the tax right so let's focus on all of our citizens, not the billions of dollars corporations aren't getting taxed on yes, it's important to claw it back from the the citizens, correct and not. Not that the corporations aren't owned and run by citizens, but well, but they're so good it's like spending the money efficiently. Don't you feel like that money it's just all going to all their employees.
Speaker 2:For sure it trickled down. Yeah, that economics it's worked.
Speaker 1:It's always work years right yeah okay, number two I've spent 25 years studying the brain. I never do these four things that destroy our memory as we age.
Speaker 2:Oh, Two out of five. I'm not that worried about it. Whoa, what was that face? Did you read this? No, I didn't. Is it all the things I do literally?
Speaker 1:number one multi-tasking too much. Oh, oh number two, not prioritizing quality sleep.
Speaker 2:So the intro to the podcast got it number three monotonous activities.
Speaker 1:Oh no, number four being overconfident in your ability to remember.
Speaker 2:Okay, so when am I getting dementia?
Speaker 1:Like yesterday already. Yeah, you're gonna have to go read that one because I think that might be a little enlightening to. I actually did learn in reading that that what I do when I like make our photo albums, and I go back and I do all that's really good for my memory.
Speaker 2:That makes sense. Yeah, you're. You're like studying for memory yeah. Not me. I only live in the present.
Speaker 1:I don't know you don't even do you.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, if I am living, I'm living in the present.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so bad like I don't. I don't Think about the future and I don't think about the past, and If I am thinking, I don't feel like like. I think that's true.
Speaker 1:No, I think there are a lot of things I hear you say about how you are that makes me realize that, while I think you're a really good critical thinker when it comes to Everything outside of you, that you might be the least self-aware person of all time Self-critical, not self-aware, yeah. Yeah, oh yeah, we just talked about that. Do you want to tell? Tell everybody about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we, we, we're looking at I have no idea or something.
Speaker 3:Oh it's probably tick-tock.
Speaker 2:I bet it was a tick-tock that you got served About the difference between a lot of people think they're so 90% of people think that they are self-aware and really only 10 to 20% whatever the opposite number is are actually self-aware. Because the difference in being self-aware and of being, what was the word? Self-critical? Was it self-critical? Yes, oh, it was self-intellectualizing. Oh, look at that memory boom.
Speaker 2:I yeah exactly that multi. It's coming in handy? No, yeah. So it's, instead of being self-aware, yourself Intellectualizing, and so that's asking yourself Well, why am I this way? What made me do that? That's not self-aware, that's being critical and trying to make your feelings and make your thoughts strictly logical or reason with them. And self-aware is understanding what you want and Understanding your feelings. Like truly more motivation, wise, and like where you want to go and what you want to do.
Speaker 1:Well, and also how your actions impact others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So self-intellectualizing is asking why, and Self-awareness is more asking what, what do I want, what do I like? Wear, yeah, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Hmm. So, anyway, we talked about it at length.
Speaker 2:Why is not a self-awareness thing?
Speaker 1:Matt decided that he is not actually.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:All I ask myself is why yeah, so I think that I do both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think everyone has Both. I don't know that anyone is perfectly self-aware all the time, but I would say you're all the time. Yeah, all of us. That's why the world's perfect if you think that you might not be self-aware.
Speaker 1:How did a nine to five salary for baby boomers compared to what millennials make today? Question mark.
Speaker 2:Anxiety as an article like a one, because it doesn't.
Speaker 1:Zero out of five. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But as a discussion it tends to crop up a lot of animosity.
Speaker 1:This one, I think, was like an olive branch kind of article, because I did go read it and it was pretty much like, yeah, millennials can't do anything. No no, because it was saying that for baby boomers at age 40, their average salary was $39,000, and the average price of a home, I think, was $19,000. And for millennials that are now age 40, on average they're making $49,000, and the average price of a home is $449,000.
Speaker 2:I was hoping it was at least double the number you said, and I knew what the house was going to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's yeah, not great.
Speaker 1:And so it was really interesting. It talked a little bit about how older generations are very critical of us having iPhones and us like how expensive that stuff is and that we all own it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's because that's the only thing they have to buy now. They already own the houses and stuff, so the only thing their money goes to is consumer goods now.
Speaker 1:Right, but it was critical about. A lot of baby boomers talk to millennials and say they can't buy houses. They can't do these things because they own the iPhone, because they have all these material things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the toast, the avocado toast.
Speaker 1:we all know that yeah, but looking statistically that that's not really the case.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the math doesn't really pan out there.
Speaker 1:But it does give you a fun little thing to fixate on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't make enough avocado toast in a year. If they didn't own all this nice stuff.
Speaker 1:Then they could own homes and it's like, well, maybe some people there might be, you know, yeah, if you're buying bushels of avocado toast a month. But I'm going to say, most of the people that are owning a lot of material goods probably already own a home too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I also take a little bit of an umbridge with the idea that just 40, 50 years ago, everyone was just smarter and better, like just as a whole, like everyone was making better choices just as a generation, as though they also didn't know what they were doing Right and just lived in a time that it was more feasible. But it gets talked about as though like, oh well, we were geniuses and you idiots.
Speaker 2:Well, and we worked harder, yeah we worked harder and we're smarter, and you dumb-dumbs are just spending all your money on phones and toast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's because you guys were in the trophy generation. You just got a trophy for anything and like, from all these participation trophies from us, because we didn't want you to feel bad, to make you feel better because we didn't feel good when we were kids. Now you feel too good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just buy yourself all the trophies in the world. Yeah, good stuff. Like your voice.
Speaker 1:Click that Okay, are we ready for some voicemail? Let's do some voicemails. We didn't order the week.
Speaker 2:Did you come prepared? Are you familiar with the word umbridge? We've probably done it. Umbridge Like Dolores, like exactly, exactly. You know, I just said I take umbridge with that. I'll get a formal definition for you. Yeah, I just used context clues.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I do a lot of context clues. Somebody taught me what context clues meant in like fourth grade and I was like, great, that's what I'm doing the rest of forever and I've never asked what a word meant, ever. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, apologies if we've done umbridge, but I don't think so. The definition is offense or annoyance. She took umbridge at his remarks. It's usually like took umbridge as a phrase.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:So I took offense or I took annoyance.
Speaker 1:That makes sense being Dolores's last name, for sure.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:Is that how it's spelled? Is it spelled the same Can?
Speaker 2:I see U-M-B-R-A-G-E.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it's not.
Speaker 2:Oh, hers is bridge, yeah, hers is umbridge, yeah, yeah, maybe it's a little play on words.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the archaic definition is shade or shadow, especially as cast by trees. Ooh, it's spooky.
Speaker 1:I kind of like that better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't have a use for that in a sentence. There's some real umbridge back here. Yeah, we have umbridge behind our house, yeah. And that sounds super dumb.
Speaker 1:I like that. I'm going to start and that's.
Speaker 2:She's going to start using the archaic definitions of words. People are like, oh no, one's used it that way for 200 years. But that's how Joe's doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, do you think it makes me look cool?
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, very, very cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, very, very cool. Good, I mean, you did learn some Latin, that's okay. So it's right in your wheelhouse.
Speaker 2:Look see, okay, look see, yes. So if anyone just needs to say look see, in Latin, you got it, because that's all she can say.
Speaker 1:Yep, and I'll never let it go. I feel like that's going to end up being like. That was a bit in my sixth grade Latin class and I feel like it's about to be a bit on the bottom.
Speaker 2:It's been a bit for 20 years. Yeah, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Look see, yeah, there was a stick man.
Speaker 2:She remembers it vividly. It's that memory.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because I did the video for our eighth grade graduation and I put EK like the.
Speaker 2:EK man, ek man yeah, that's what we call them. I know it was. Yeah, I remember hearing all about this in high school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's because there was like a group we all talk. I didn't just talk about it that much.
Speaker 2:No, okay, it was like it was an inside joke, if you will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, well, voicemails.
Speaker 2:Let's do it.
Speaker 3:Hi Jo and Matt. My name is Jessica. First off, I wanted to say I love the podcast. I have been an avid listener for a year now and it is my favorite day of the week when the Oversharing podcast comes out. I have two questions for you. A little backstory I am currently pregnant with our second child, our first boy. I am about eight and a half months pregnant, so countdown is on, and our daughter will be 21, 22-ish months old when he is here.
Speaker 3:Two questions for you. One what is the biggest tip you have when transitioning from one to two kiddos? The transition from zero to one was fairly easy for us as we were super ready and prepared for kids and I'm a preschool teacher and all the things. However, the transition from one to two just seems very daunting to me and I just want to know all the tips you have for that transition. Second one what is the biggest difference you see when raising a boy versus raising a girl? Our daughter is the girliest girl you've ever met. She loves playing, pretend, makeup, princesses, all the things. But what is the biggest difference you see in boys versus girls? Thank you so much for your response and I hope you have a wonderful day. Bye.
Speaker 2:Two good questions.
Speaker 1:I don't really have any big tips for going from one to two. I think going zero to one is harder, just because it uproots your entire life. Yeah, a total lifestyle change.
Speaker 2:Like having no kids. One to two for us was definitely easier because it was not. When you have no kids and then you have a kid, you have to change your plans around. Oh, what are we doing?
Speaker 1:with our child. What is?
Speaker 2:that like, if we're going out, do we have a babysitter or whatever? With two kids, you are used to having a child at home.
Speaker 1:I think the biggest thing that we did that was really helpful is prepare and have everything organized at home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially since you've done it once before you've got a better feel for what do you need and what do you not need, and so once you've had a child, you'll know those things for yourself and you can apply them directly to having that. The tough part is that your time is split in half and you're going to have a two-year-old that wants attention and can't always have it from.
Speaker 1:Our age gap was really similar, though around that Ours are 20 months apart and the nice part about them being that close is I feel like our daughter wasn't really phased by adding a brother for her. It's almost as if he was always there. Yeah, it wasn't like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she didn't have a ton of I mean, she had her whole life, but her whole life was a year and a half plus of not having someone else there, and so it wasn't super hard. I know, if you add them older, it can be like, hey, we've always been doing this thing, like you and I, and now this guy is in the mix and I'm not loving it. She was good, she was excited, and so I think some of it is preparing your child that you have now for an added sibling and then beyond that. I don't know, it was not. I don't know if we have great tips.
Speaker 1:No, because it was really smooth for us. I feel like the first couple months were hard, just the being up at night and the nursing schedule and all that. But that's more newborn stuff that you already experienced once. Like I don't think it was harder because we already had a toddler. Like I think that that season is just kind of difficult.
Speaker 2:That's true, you know what. But to that point the hard part, and I don't know how much you can do to really prepare for it. Maybe you can plan some activities or something ahead of time, but with one kid that first newborn phase you don't get enough sleep. You can sleep during the day or you can catch up on things that's harder to do with another kid in the mix that maybe doesn't sleep 16 hours a day, or 18 hours a day, or however many are newborn. That is the part that you have to manage your time better when you have to, for sure, but I don't know if that's really a tip.
Speaker 1:As for the boys versus girls comment, I feel like I'm curious. I don't know that I've ever asked you that, matt, so I'll let you share your opinion after I've shared. But my hot take is I really don't think it's different in the way people talk about it being different, because in my belief of the world, I don't see it as the big difference between being. I don't see the big difference being between being a boy and being a girl. I think it's much more complex than that. I think that there are differences between people as a whole, no matter if we had two daughters, if we have a son and a daughter, and yes, while their sex or their gender can come into play within being one of those factors, I don't think that there are blanket things that I would apply to boys versus applying to girls. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think the biggest difference is, even if you treat them exactly the same, how the world reacts to them will be different. Yes, that's the hard part is managing how family and friends and strangers treat your boy versus your girl. What's okay for them to cry about, what's okay for them to play with, what's okay for them to wear, and so, you know, do your best to depending on whatever your viewpoint on that is, but we've very much encouraged and neutral.
Speaker 1:You have to be somewhere for them to come to, to discuss and openly converse about how the world's going to receive them. Whether you think that's how it should or shouldn't be, it's how it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the reason I said what I said is because you may have girls that are really girly and into princesses or whatever, or you can have girls that are really into trucks and really into things that are considered boyish, whatever, and vice versa.
Speaker 1:I don't think that is as black and white, and I actually had this conversation with my friend this week because she has a daughter who has really swayed toward princess pink and she was very adamant to not push her one way or the other. She's like, but she's just obsessed with it, so maybe those just are girl things. And I said to her I said are they just girl things or are they just your daughter things?
Speaker 1:And that's the point that I've come back to is let them be individuals. I hear a lot from my friends, and this is something that really always is off putting to me and I struggle with it is when friends are like, oh well, he's a boy, that's why he does that. I'm like, well, boys, they're crazy and well, girls, they're sweet. And I'm like why can't she just be sweet because she is a person that's sweet? Why can't he be rowdy just because his personality is rowdy? We don't have to apply those things and say they're that way for those reasons, because I inherently don't think that's true.
Speaker 2:And a lot of that is what ends up reinforcing those stereotypes is because then it's not okay for girls to be rowdy, it's not okay for boys to be emotionally overwhelmed by different things which are all natural responses to being a one year old, a two year old, whatever it is. There's a lot of universal. We haven't seen a lot of differences between our boy and our girl and how they respond to things and how they do a lot of that, what their preferences are. It's very much what's okay by everybody else, and so trying to build an environment that emotional, a burst and everything are acceptable for both of your kids.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing. I don't disagree that there are definitely conversations I'm going to have to have with daughters that I don't have to have, not don't have to have Aren't going to come up as organically or Well, they're not going to be as critical to their safety with boys. I think that I hope that I will have the conversations with both my daughter and my son, because I want my son to be part of the catalyst for change in the way that women are treated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's an important, but it's more for awareness, less for self preservation.
Speaker 1:Well, and I also want to have conversations with my daughter that I would usually have with my son, because I want my daughter to also be a catalyst for change in the way that we treat men Like. I want it to go both directions, because I think that there is just a lot of unhealthiness, but anyway, I just, um, I struggle with that. That's something I really. Yeah, they are different, but I don't know that being a boy versus being a girl is the only big difference and it is by far the most focused on difference, Especially in that first year.
Speaker 2:I can't think of a lot of differences.
Speaker 1:No me either.
Speaker 2:And when they are truly a baby. The difference between being a boy and being a girl um negligible.
Speaker 3:I agree.
Speaker 2:And so I don't know that there's a lot you need to prepare for. There's just you should probably prepare for how the world is going to treat your child. Yeah, One versus the other.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:All right, appreciate the voicemail. We've got a bunch of emails, so let's work in some of those. I joined Matt first. I love your podcast. It's my go to while playing Call of Duty. In fact recently benched the whole series and I'm a little sad I now only get one weekly. I'm curious if you have advice on how to handle a parent's death. My father passed away October 2023 and my mother-in-law January 2024. And frankly, it's caused a lot of issues between my spouse and I, but mostly for our six year old twin boys. I want to be an example of how to grieve in a healthy way, but I know I'm not. My spouse is in the Navy and is deployed, so we just moved to California or, and we just moved to California from Wisconsin and my kids are struggling. So really just looking to see if you guys have advice on how to navigate through this season of life in a healthy manner, just not sure how to grieve and be strong for my kids at the same time. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:Wow, I don't have any personal experience losing a parent, obviously.
Speaker 2:More. Two parents span of a year.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's tough. I think grieving is so complicated, yeah, and I think it is really under discussed and it's under supported and I really, beyond having those opinions, don't know how much advice that I have other than therapy. Like, I think that therapy is so valuable in times like that, to have a third party, to be a safe place to talk to and to like, discuss and to really probably break down a lot of the things that you're struggling with. I think that with a sense of loss comes a lot of what ifs, and I think that continues the rest of our lives, because we wonder what life would be like if that person was still with us and what they would be doing, especially when it's a loss that's unexpected or young.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, no, I mean I think that having a third party you can go to as an outlet for what you're going through is probably the best way to manage it for yourself. As for how you handle it with your twin boys, I think some of it is having a conversation and just telling them that you're having a hard time. I think it's good for kids to know that their parents struggle sometimes to go hey, having a tough time with this, having a tough time dealing with grandma not being there, and so that doing that is probably a good productive outlet. And yeah, going to the feelings doctor which is what we tell our kids that we have to go to the feelings doctor, and so that's a normalized way for us to leave the house and go talk to our people. But, yeah, if you can find somebody to talk to, I think that's the best option for you, and then normalizing it for your kids and making sure they understand that toughing it out isn't always possible.
Speaker 1:Well, I think vulnerability and having an open dialogue within your household of things like that is so pivotal in creating safe spaces for kids to be able to both grieve, celebrate, be embarrassed, misstep all those kinds of things as they get older, because they know that, no matter what their feeling is, it's safe within these four walls and that they have a team of people, their family, that will support them and I think that through really hard times, that is really cultivated.
Speaker 2:Being boys. They're going to have enough emotional things shut down just by culture, which is a lot of what we were talking about earlier, but just through that, so the more it can be normalized with you and your husband.
Speaker 1:Girls too. It's just shut down differently, Absolutely.
Speaker 2:What is shut down and what is acceptable. Totally yeah, I think. Honestly, my best advice is to let them know you're not okay all the time and that you're working on it, but it's up and down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, it's making me emotional. Oh, oh, I'm sorry for your loss.
Speaker 2:Very much so for both of you. Next email that hopefully won't make me cry. Hi, jo and Matt. I've been following along since Jo did plant tips with riffraff and I've loved watching in your family grow. I'm getting to the point where my husband and I are also wanting kids. Something I'm struggling with is the whole idea around timing and conception. I grew up in the Bible Belt where I was taught you'll get pregnant just by having sex Technically possible, but more complicated than you'd think. Obviously, I've had to educate myself about my own body and conception, but I'm having a hard time with being excited every month from trying to find, from trying to find. I'm still not pregnant. I was wondering if y'all did any fertility testing or preparation when trying for kids, or if you can speak on this at all. I know you're supposed to wait a year before getting fertility testing but, pardon me, would rather know if something's up. I appreciate any advice you have on this hard waiting period. I think you're probably the expert on this, more so than me.
Speaker 1:I know and I hate having to answer questions like this, not because the question's not wonderful, but because I got pregnant our first month trying. Yeah, we went off birth control like eight months or so before we started trying and used natural family planning for those eight months. Then, our first month that we did try, we got pregnant. Then same kind of experience after G I got my cycle back. We got pregnant. I had a very early miscarriage. Immediately after that I didn't even get my period back. After that experience I was pregnant with R.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm maybe not always the best person to talk on this just because I didn't have to experience a lot of that waiting period. Now I do have a lot of friends and things that I have listened and walked beside them through the journey that you're going through right now. What I will say is most not all, but most of my friends who were very stressed and in the first couple of months were getting negatives and became very worried something was wrong. Most ended up conceiving naturally with no problem, using ovulation tests and other tools that are at your disposal. I do have a handful of other friends that ended up going the route of getting everything tested because they hit that year mark of not getting pregnant. I think everybody that I can think of now has happy, healthy children.
Speaker 1:I have a few friends that ended up going IUI, some that ended up going IBF Definitely some of them. They were harder journeys than others. I think the thing to relax into and remember is that, while infertility is a really difficult and very scary journey, that there are a lot of people's stories to listen to and there are a lot of hopeful endings to things, that trying to conceive and entering that season of your life is supposed to be enjoyable and fun and it doesn't. I guess. If you can, don't make it high stress until it needs to be, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not an indicator of who you are as a person, even if there are difficulties there.
Speaker 1:It shouldn't be something that defines you and your identity outside of like Outside of that and I want to clarify that when I say don't stress, I'm not saying Don't stress and you will get pregnant, or just relax and you'll get pregnant. That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is it's best to not.
Speaker 1:Fix a fixate and like doom Think yeah cuz I think and I do it too we have a tendency to kind of get in our heads and go, okay, well, what if this is wrong? And what if this is wrong? And what if this is wrong? And what am I gonna do? And all this, and I find it's best to work to Get our full night's sleep. Drink all of our water, take care of our bodies, eat well, you know, do those things that aid in conceiving, because you're focusing on you and taking care of you. If you want to do the ovulation test, do all that kind of testing to try and really Get in touch with what your body is doing, things like that.
Speaker 1:And if you're still having trouble before you start trying to take guesses at what might be wrong, see the professional and go through the tests and really take it step by step, if you can. Now a Lot easier said than done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, if it really is that overwhelming, you can talk to a professional. There's just I don't think there's a lot that they do before a year, yeah, and so If you talk to them, they may not be able to and there's so many layers of things that they do because they'll do.
Speaker 1:Why are words escaping me now? It's because I'm on a mic. They'll start with like a well, I don't know, everybody's different, but they'll do clomid, which is like a fertility drug. That like they'll start there. That's pre IUI, pre IVF, like there's so many Options like and there's so much research done these days that there are a lot of wonderful people out there who are there to help hold your hand in that journey. Yeah, if that is your path, and so I Don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Advice is to take it. You know, don't take it too personally. Yeah and also, if it makes you feel better, learn more about it.
Speaker 1:We actually have a couple friends that this is the case, but one specifics coming to mind that tried for well over a year. They were very worried. They went into get testing done, everything came back normal, and so they kept trying. They ended up getting pregnant with their first, naturally, eventually, and now they have three and they're all like 1415 months apart. Yeah, and so it went like baby, baby, baby after that. And so I, I don't know, the world works in weird ways.
Speaker 2:It does, it does you just never know, it's a tough subject everybody's so different. Yeah, it's very personal.
Speaker 1:So do you have one more email.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have a short one here, short into the point how do you guys handle screen time with your kiddos? Minimal, yeah, keep it, you know, minimized as much as possible, but it's not a.
Speaker 1:We don't have like really structured rules around it, because Something that I told Matt when we had kids was really important to me is to not have rigid rules around Any kind of activity. Yeah, like if they wanted to play outside and it was like a free time for them to be able to go do that, I wanted them to get to play outside. If they wanted to play a video game, I wanted them to get to play a video game because I think in my experience, the things that I was very limited on, like I could only watch 30 minutes of TV every day, so I was very fixated on what my 30 minutes was gonna be or like more than 30 minutes, it can heighten it and the thing is then, when I hit adulthood, I don't even really like TV that much.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just was like, oh well, I can't like. I was very fixated on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it can build, and there's extremes, obviously, like yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if your kid wants to watch nine hours of bluey, that's probably too much, probably, and so it's good to like redirect when it feels like it's been too much or when you're uncomfortable with it, but it's it's. Also. We really try not to demonize activities and Provide them with more power. It's it's more about like okay, why is this getting your attention more than something else? Because, if we found anything out, they prefer activities and stuff. Yeah, it's when we're probably not providing enough engagement that the screen time becomes heightened. Yeah, I agree. Well, in that note. Yeah, I think, I think we're being called.
Speaker 1:Yeah from our dino nuggets for it. Yeah, somebody wants to come in, oh no, so it's we'll go do that.
Speaker 2:appreciate you guys listening yeah talk soon do all the stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, subscribe to all the things. Rate the things. We'll talk soon. Bye.