Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Square Patties, Birthday Wishes, and Mastering Parenthood
Join Jo and myself as we navigate the world of square-shaped patties, the emotions of sports fandom, and the bittersweetness of watching little Roy blow out his first birthday candle (kind of).
This episode isn't just about the munchies and memories, though. We get real about the tightrope walk of life, answering a listener's heartstring-tugging question about kindling romance in the face of a demanding new job, and discussing what not so life changing new hobbies we'd like to take on as adults. We're talking skateboards, guitars, and the fine line between eagerness and the practicality of not landing in a cast. We also discuss the art of keeping family bonds tight, the tricky dance of navigating mis-scheduled relationships, and the complicated nature of parent / grandparent dynamics.
So, whether you're juggling the roles of parent, partner, or personal security advocate, we've got insights galore. So grab your Frosty, dial in your loved ones, and let's overshare the hustle, heart, and hilarity of daily life.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies. I'm Joe.
Speaker 2:And I'm Matt.
Speaker 1:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to oversharing.
Speaker 1:This week Matt had his first Wendy's burger.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right. Yeah, Wendy's burger. I used to not eat them as a kid because they were square and uh.
Speaker 1:Which we've said on the podcast before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just. I was a notoriously picky eater. I'm still like a mildly picky eater, but I'm doing better.
Speaker 1:I disagree.
Speaker 2:Okay. About the mild part or the the picky part, the picky part.
Speaker 1:I think that you've grown out of the picky part entirely. I think you have habits and routines.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I need to stop saying I disagree about everything you say about yourself, because I listen to an episode of the podcast and I hate how I interact with you. Why? Because I do that a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what about it?
Speaker 1:I don't like it.
Speaker 2:You don't like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want you to be able to just say what you think you are.
Speaker 2:Well, and then you say what you think I am.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's irrelevant. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Is it? It's in the eye of the beholder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just feel like when you say like, I feel like I perceive that you think picky eating is like a negative thing about you.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:And so when you say I'm still a mildly picky eater, I think I get defensive for you, you do a lot of that.
Speaker 2:You do a lot of like way. Now Don't say that about yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I don't know Anyway.
Speaker 2:Somebody's got to do it, I guess. Well, they don't have to.
Speaker 1:but Well, I just think you've come. I think you'll try anything. Yeah, I think your habits still keep you, like you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll still order the same thing nine times out of 10.
Speaker 1:Right. But if somebody encouraged you to do something different. Or if we pick a restaurant that you don't usually go to, you're cool with that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I won't be like, hey, I'll just not eat.
Speaker 1:And to me that says you're not Well the not eating, I guess isn't.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying that I won't say that.
Speaker 1:Right, you will eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'll find something to eat.
Speaker 1:Got it, got it Sorry.
Speaker 2:I thought we were agreeing, but you're disagreeing with me.
Speaker 1:No, no, I wasn't disagreeing, I just was misunderstanding. You know what? Canceled. That's okay, I'm canceled.
Speaker 2:That's bold. I don't know about that.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:I'm a burger.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I hadn't eaten one, I couldn't tell you. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever eaten one.
Speaker 1:That was. The whole point is that you'd never had one.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, because nine times out of 10, I'll just get chicken at a fast food place, whether that's a chicken sandwich they have great chicken sandwiches there Shout outs to Wendy's, or we just advertising for Wendy's unpaid. Or the nuggets they have great nuggets Like. That's just that's what I've gotten and that's what I get at McDonald's too. Is chicken related products?
Speaker 1:So many people comment and we're like next he needs to try their chicken. Whatever it's so good. I'm like he's had the chicken products.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, the chicken sandwiches. I've had many of their chicken sandwiches, fine chicken sandwiches, and I'm saying chicken and sandwiches so many times. It's starting to not sound like anything to them.
Speaker 1:I don't know that I've ever had a chicken sandwich from a fast food place.
Speaker 2:Wow, is that your series? Are we going to take a video of you eating a chicken sandwich?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I've only had. Well, I don't love a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 2:But you're only doing burgers.
Speaker 1:Well, let me kind of give some background. I don't love a chicken sandwich. Okay, why not? I don't know there's something about it, Because you know Chick-fil-A is like, so popular, yes, and so many people say to me they're like oh, but I know I'm not supposed to go there or whatever, but I just can't stay away. Not hard for me, does not interest me in the slightest. So I think I may just not be a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 2:You're not a fried chicken girl.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely not a fried chicken girl.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, they're fried chicken sandwiches.
Speaker 1:I know, but I don't like their grilled chicken sandwich either.
Speaker 2:Sure Well, the grilled chicken is kind of weird to me. I don't know, it just looks odd, sketchy yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I haven't like fried. I haven't loved fried food since I was a little kid.
Speaker 2:Mmm, nice and out I get.
Speaker 1:I eat it now, like there are some of them that I eat and I love it. A good chicken nugget, but, and I love Slim's chicken Sure, but which?
Speaker 2:is fried chicken. They have their own. It's a pretty seasoned breading.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm getting at. I like there are fried things I eat now, but I think as a little kid it made me sick so often.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, not me. I can eat almost anything and not get sick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a lot of my like dislikes are really.
Speaker 2:About how it makes you feel. Yeah, it's very feeling related.
Speaker 1:Like that's. That's why I'm like yeah, it tastes fine, like, but every time I put it in my mouth, I associate it with being violently ill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the, the. The taste doesn't outweigh the feeling.
Speaker 1:No, that's like me and drinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true too.
Speaker 1:Like I never get to a point that I am like, oh yeah, this is so much fun, I feel good. I get to a point that I'm like, oh, I feel viciously ill yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and alcohol, in terms of taste, is something that you can give up pretty, pretty easily most of the time Right.
Speaker 1:You enjoy a little bit of tequila, but but I also feel like because of that, it makes me sound, which I guess it doesn't. It's not really relevant, but like I'm trying to be like, oh, I don't like this.
Speaker 5:They just don't.
Speaker 1:You're, just Because we have a friend like that who genuinely he doesn't like sweets. Oh, yeah, he genuinely does not like sweets, yeah, and I literally can't handle listening to him talk, so I feel like that's how I'm being right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not really prone to complaining about not being able to gain weight, but also doesn't want to eat any of the food that would make you gain weight. And he's like oh, you know, I just eat lean chicken and. No vegetables no carbs and very few fats. And yeah, I, just I can't gain weight. And you're like well, yeah, you're not eating the stuff that makes you gain weight. Now I'm guessing he wants a healthier weight than like if you just ate lots of donuts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, For those of us that would enjoy a box of donuts irritating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's real things, like I know you have really shrills. Anyway, I am just very self absorbed today.
Speaker 2:Let's get back to your first experience with a square patty, a square patty, yeah, nope, as a kid wouldn't eat them. Ate it, it was good, it was a solid burger. I don't know Again. I don't have a lot to compare it to because I'm going chicken 99% of the time, so it's not like oh.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what we discovered, because I asked you how does it compare to a McDonald's burger for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was like I haven't had a McDonald's burger in a decade, probably, I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know where I never go that I know so popular what Taco Bell Taco.
Speaker 2:Bell, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I honestly I don't get fast food that often, just period. It's mostly when we're on, it's just when we drive. Drive like when we're on road trips and stuff, road trips, but people really love Taco Bell.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, there's some friends that ordered Taco Bell. What.
Speaker 2:Remember we had friends that got DoorDash Taco Bell and they lived like three minutes away from Taco Bell. I don't remember this at all. Anyway, it was a whole story.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 2:So they paid like triple the cost of Taco Bell to get it delivered three minutes to their house.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:That's really when you know you're just Lazy, having a day Same.
Speaker 1:I have lots of days like that. I have lots of days that that would make sense to me. I think my number one cost in life is convenience. Oh for sure, Like by a long shot. Yeah, like other people have, like I don't know, bad habits or interests or that they feel like absorb their Expensive hobbies. Uh-huh, convenience is my hobby.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I think my job to do something is what you are addicted to.
Speaker 3:I am.
Speaker 2:Very much like can they bring it to me? Can it be brought to me extra fast? Yeah, all of those things, let's do that?
Speaker 1:Can it be brought to me already all the work done?
Speaker 2:Yes, I'd like it all done ahead of time.
Speaker 1:And I will happily pay for their time.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you're a big believer in paying for time. I am For sure, without your time, people, because she will pay you for it.
Speaker 1:I will. Well, I will, that's true. Yeah, I want to not do things and you're expecting somebody else to take their precious time to do them. They should be adequately compensated. I don't think that's a crazy ask. No, I don't think so either. Okay. What I really wanted to talk about, though, was our conversation we got into about fries.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, yeah. So I have eaten both McDonald's and Wendy's fries in the last several years and we got into a debate on whether Wendy's fries or McDonald's fries we rate higher. And you said Wendy's fries and I said McDonald's fries.
Speaker 1:I think Wendy's have a higher average. I think McDonald's has a higher ceiling.
Speaker 2:For sure. I think good McDonald's fries are an A, an, a plus, like I think that's some of the peak fries are good McDonald's fries. Now there's a lot more variability. You can end up with bad McDonald's fries and that's a, c, a, d. They can be bad, but a Wendy's fry is consistently a B.
Speaker 1:Maybe a B plus. Like at best they're a B plus, at worst they're a B minus.
Speaker 2:I agree, or like a C plus, but your variability. If you want a safe fry, you can go Wendy's and you're going to get Wendy's. Salt fries you go to McDonald's, you could get anything, but they could be great.
Speaker 1:But they could be great.
Speaker 3:I'm addicted to the chase.
Speaker 1:I love the peak, I'd rather just go to Wendy's. I really would, and I love something about a Frosty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. What about a McFlurry? How does it compare?
Speaker 1:Not comparable, not the same thing. They're not really the same product.
Speaker 2:No, One's ice cream and one is.
Speaker 1:McDonald's has a good chocolate milkshake, but it's still not the same.
Speaker 2:I haven't had a milkshake. The only ice cream I've gotten there is ice cream and McFlurry's, which is just ice cream with stuff mixed in.
Speaker 1:Their milkshake's pretty good. I love a milkshake. Talk about something that you would think would make me sick, but doesn't. Why does that make me sick, or not make me sick, but a fried chicken sandwich.
Speaker 2:I don't know what makes you sick and what doesn't make you sick has never made sense to me, me either.
Speaker 1:I always assume I have to have some kind of weird allergy.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Maybe I think you're just kind of fat sensitive, but not really I know, because you would think a lot of the dairy stuff would get you, but some does.
Speaker 1:I know so your mystery I can't do frozen custard.
Speaker 2:Oh, but you love it. You love it so much.
Speaker 1:I do, but that makes me really sick.
Speaker 2:It is usually yeah, You've consciously made the decision before to go get it with the idea like this will probably be bad for me later. I don't do it often, it's like someone who's lactose intolerant being like, I'm just going to go for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't do it often. It doesn't make me sick, though. The way that people who are lactose intolerant no, I don't know. I think there's a variety. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Let's talk how your body gets sick. Yikes.
Speaker 1:Okay, give a read. Up date of your week.
Speaker 2:My week, roy turned one. We had a birthday party. Oh yeah, Wild birthday party Super Bowl. Our Kansas City Chiefs won the the big game oh.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:That was sad.
Speaker 1:It was sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I. I'm a lifelong Chiefs fan, but I don't think we deserved it. No Well. I mean, I think Mahomes played really well.
Speaker 2:I think that he like fought for the yeah yeah, you know very much but I sure kind of supposed to be there rebuilding years oh. I think they traded away, like some very important offensive players, to be like okay, well, we'll rebuild, and they've won the Super Bowl back-to-back years.
Speaker 1:So well, you can definitely see the rebuilding. Yes, you can. On offense. I don't, I don't know, the 49ers just played so well and the stories were so good, and there's a player that's from Fayetteville, that went to University of Arkansas, who played for the 49ers and yeah, like.
Speaker 2:Taurus Achilles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just getting up off the bench.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what a way to yeah, that was a downer a big downer and so I just like I mean I'm a massive Chiefs fan, but I just feel like it was an ugly season.
Speaker 2:It was like a lot of other teams played they did a lot of winning and they looked really bad doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But hey but I got it done. A wins, a win, wins a win so anyway, I was absolutely flabbergasted by the number of people that DM'd me because I put up on my Instagram story that, oh, what an end to an ugly, ugly season like.
Speaker 1:I feel bad for the 49ers and so many people DM'd me and were like, can you explain this further Because there are so many new people watching football? Yeah, I know anything about football. Yeah, I was absolutely Shocked, like I know that everybody has been saying that that viewership is way up and people are watching things more and All of that. But I hadn't seen it in my day-to-day yet and I probably got 25 DM's from women asking me to explain why I was. What does it mean for me to call it an ugly season and why do I feel sad for the 49ers? Yeah, but I didn't know how to respond. I responded to everybody, but I didn't know how to sum it up in two sentences to people who don't understand that don't watch the game Football.
Speaker 1:yet yeah, cuz I was like well, the 49ers had a really good season. They're like well, what does that mean? I'm like how do I?
Speaker 2:they won a lot and they looked really good winning and they're like but what does it look like? To look good, and I'm like I don't, I don't they made it look kind of easy and then the chiefs made it look really difficult a lot of the Year they made it. They were winning, but you're like man that looked hard. Yeah looks like they really had to pull out all the stops and the Niners kind of cruised to a lot of victories. He's looked very Unbothered doing.
Speaker 1:I think that that's kind of the sign of a really excellent team is it looks easy.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, they just had so many, so many talented players all over, and then the chiefs had theirs crowd into some tighter areas. Yeah like hey, our defense is good.
Speaker 1:Their defense really rocked it.
Speaker 2:We have a good tight end, a decent line. Our wide receivers are Just some guys just doing it. Yeah, so that's American football and American fast food to start off the podcast. So, if you guys didn't know, we live in America. America hard, yeah, big America podcast America thing yes. Yeah, that's what we believe here, so the international listeners Congratulations if you even made it this far.
Speaker 1:I did also get a lot of DMs from people who were international asking Like, can you explain to me what's going?
Speaker 2:and I'm like not really, I don't like I'm not the resource to go to.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that, like football, has been so ingrained in me from when I because my dad loves watching sports, so I've been watching sports since I was such a little kid.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That it's a little second nature rather than yeah.
Speaker 2:You're like that looks right, that looks wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like I don't. It was good, it was a good Activity for me to participate in and thinking you know what do I? I don't know, I guess. Yeah, that's how you know. My opinion is not very valid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not like a sports pundit, for sure. No you're a casual observer for sure.
Speaker 1:Observes often and I like the the social aspect.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, you just like watching people play on a team? I really do. You could watch almost any sport if they look like they're having fun and they're on a team.
Speaker 1:I really good.
Speaker 2:You're like, I don't understand rugby, but they look like they're having a blast out there.
Speaker 1:I told Matt that I I'm just like camaraderie I really do, boys being boys out there. Oh, okay, we took a turn.
Speaker 2:Women being women, I mean it just. You want team sports.
Speaker 1:I do. I love watching people be really passionate about things. It's why I love the Olympics.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like the Olympics are so much fun because you just get to see people who have very passionately dedicated themselves to something and See them compete and be there. But like it's fun yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you. Just she wants to be on a team.
Speaker 1:So badly that and I get really emotional.
Speaker 2:When they lose. I get so sad you cried a lot during the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1:I really did.
Speaker 2:I don't. Even some of them I didn't understand. I missed a couple things.
Speaker 1:Oh, at commercials. Yeah, I was trying to think of when I was like what plays? Was I crying? What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:I think you cried during the singing at the beginning.
Speaker 1:I did.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Probably just cried watching guys stand there for the Anthem and I don't think it was about them.
Speaker 1:I think it was about Reba. Yeah, it was about well, not about her specifically. Single mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, two jobs. Yeah, loves your kid and never stops.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, and, and when else did I cry? There were some commercials that made me cry, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which ones?
Speaker 1:the Commercial about the dad and daughter bonding over sports. Yeah that made me cry.
Speaker 2:I'm saying yeah, I missed 90%. I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1:I cried at the wicked the reveal of the wicked Advertisement. Wow and I'm not the thing. The thing that's funny about this is am I a crier?
Speaker 2:Not typically, but you've picked it up lately. You've acquired some crying.
Speaker 1:I think I'm a crier at Taking in art and media art and media, yeah, I don't feel like I'm a crier in day to day Actually that's probably not true Like if anybody tells me they're pregnant I cry. Yeah, I'm a happy crier.
Speaker 2:You're a big happy crier. You're a big news, life event crier sentimental crier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I Did. I cried a lot. I didn't cry about the 49ers with the confetti raining down on them.
Speaker 2:But just standing out there. Yeah, I'm sad yeah.
Speaker 1:I hate that part though.
Speaker 2:It's the worst. I saw somebody on tiktok being like hey guys, don't you just go into the locker room? Don't keep standing out there for 30 minutes and the other teams confetti, looking sad. It's just gonna get your picture taken just just going back in.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Have that moment in private, not to be put all over the internet.
Speaker 1:It's so true but, maybe they're okay with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I missed. I saw some of the first quarter and then I saw overtime and that was it. Yeah, I was putting our kid to bed and I was picking up your dad from the airport.
Speaker 1:And Then there was overtime dad who works two jobs, this kids and yeah, yeah, I stayed back so I could help out my mom. Yep and Matt wanted me to get to watch the halftime performance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I figured that was you know your job is the internet. You have to see the halftime show. I'm I'm not a huge usher girl he was a little before not totally before our time, like Still had hits, still enjoyed, but he, he was big, big for I think I don't struggle three to five years before us.
Speaker 1:I remember him being huge and I remember people loving us, but I just remember like guys, I I'm so broken. I remember his song Confessions coming out and being like I don't think this is a very nice guy, like why are we all? I don't think he's very nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah like I don't know and we were all just jamming to somebody else's just absolute bad time and not his. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I that was always just just bad behavior and I know a lot of really big artists and creatives that are very popular Are not maybe the most.
Speaker 2:You know, stand up, but some of them are really bad people.
Speaker 1:I know I don't understand it. Yeah like it's really hard for me to wrap my mind around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I think some people, you know, I don't think it's necessarily good for people to be worshiped.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 2:Celebrated on a level that is Extreme. I get that it's tough to reign in an ego when it gets pumped up to that level. But yeah some people are also just very talented. Yeah and so I.
Speaker 1:Get it, I guess, because if I could sing I would be Sufferable, I Really would. I have no doubt in my mind. I would be painfully Incefrable you'd never stop.
Speaker 2:It'd be like I would, everyone would know you'd be theater kid to the max for sure.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, and I don't even like, I'm not a theater kid at all.
Speaker 2:Do you think that that's only?
Speaker 1:because I can't sing. I don't know, maybe I was like, no, don't want anything to do with this, You're not even that bad at singing, but I'm not good though no, you're not a, I was never gonna be.
Speaker 2:An Alicia Keys.
Speaker 1:Definitely no. I was trying to think of somebody way more Attainable. Attainable and it, Alicia Keys, wasn't even on my radar, gotcha.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, gosh, she's incredible, she is, she is. That's why they you know.
Speaker 3:Had her at the Super Bowl yeah.
Speaker 2:I found out something before is that they get paid scale Like. Yeah, you were really interested about that, yeah it was, I think, a big article, Probably a lot of people saw it. But they get paid like the bottom end of Union scale. So I think Usher got paid like $645 or $1,500 for the performance but all the endorsements they, you know they make a lot of money outside of that. Plus the sponsors like pay for the show, the actual production of it. So Okay, that's many millions of dollars to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know about any of that. No, it makes sense, though I think the Union is really interesting with all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't really get how it works, but you know cool, let's just make sure that, like anybody and everybody, everybody and everybody gets paid what they're worth, even if they're at the bottom end of the scale.
Speaker 1:Okay, so. So what's on your mind today?
Speaker 2:Well, should we do? Bad Dad, mean Mom, sure. Some highlights some lowlights, especially in celebration of our second child's first birthday.
Speaker 1:Our big old one-year-old yeah.
Speaker 2:He is a big kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's a big one-year-old, he's a big boy. Do you have a A Bad Dad?
Speaker 2:Bad Dad. What is he? I have a mean mom to start. You have a mean mom, yeah.
Speaker 1:I got the smash cake, but I didn't get the smash cake. So for his first birthday, I was in charge of getting the cake and I, for G's birthday, just the morning of, went and picked up a smash cake from the local bakery rather than getting something custom ordered, and they had all kinds of options, and so I planned to do the same thing. I, because we had family in town Saturday morning rolled around and the day of the party, and I got up and I went and got donuts for everybody and then I went over to the section where they had the cakes and there was one lime green all-chocolate smash cake and nothing else.
Speaker 1:That was the only thing there, you didn't want to do a lime green all-chocolate yeah that seemed it wasn't so much about like an aesthetic as much as it was Imagining his hands and like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:In the combo of chocolate and lime green, Lime green.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like ooh. And so I ended up getting a like party sized like a 12 inch round, because that was the only thing they had. So his smash cake didn't fit on his little thing and I couldn't let him just dig into it because people wanted to have some of the cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was also a 12 inch round, which is a little large for a one year old in terms of quantity of cake.
Speaker 1:That's mean mom is he didn't get the traditional smash cake experience. He still got to smash a cake, but yeah yeah, hey, but then everybody else got cake.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2:He was digging in. He enjoyed the cake. Bad dad. I put off a lot of the party prep until pretty last minute. I was getting the yard ready. I was cleaning the bounce house 30 minutes before the party. Yeah, there was a lot of that. There was a lot of oh, the party is about to happen, let's do all the party prep. So could have done better there. It went fine, but yeah, I think my heart rate was like 15 beats too high by the time the party started. Just fight or flight.
Speaker 1:Did you feel like you really got pushed up against on the time, like why do you feel like you were rushing?
Speaker 2:I think that's a bad habit. Slash proclivity of mine is to wait until the pressure builds to an almost unduable level and then be like, okay, now you have to do it and so that's a wiring issue that I'm working on. Okay, I hate it. It's a reliance on pressure to do things. Yeah, it's kind of an ADHD issue of like you'll do it when it gets bad enough that you have to do it, not when you should do it and make it easy on yourself, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's how I almost failed college, but you didn't Nope Because the pressure got so high that I was like, okay, you can't fail now, Like don't do that yeah that makes sense, yeah, but you got most some of the things done.
Speaker 1:C's get degrees.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some D's, even if you take the class again. But you know.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's how parenting works, just so you know. Nor marriage, like I don't think that C's and D's yeah. Only is that advice for class, healthy kids and happy marriage.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a good point.
Speaker 2:It's good food for thought.
Speaker 1:Voice that to everyone listening.
Speaker 2:Don't apply that universally, don't apply it at all. Actually, be better, be better than me Be.
Speaker 1:Be better, do better. It's our motto I uh.
Speaker 2:Do you have any Greg's reads?
Speaker 1:Only a handful.
Speaker 2:Speaking of parenting.
Speaker 1:We said we were going to only do three.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we're trying to limit the anxiety because Greg is your dad. He reads a lot of news, he sends a lot of articles on things that I don't know if he thinks are relevant to us or if we need to know them or if he found them interesting. Could be any of the above, but we then rate them on a scale one to five how much anxiety they give us, and so that's what this segment is. We read those article titles and give you anxiety as well.
Speaker 1:Well, the first one's actually from mom.
Speaker 2:Oh, whoa, I know but it came Catherine's read of the week.
Speaker 1:The thing is, I wonder if it actually came from mom or if dad was on mom's phone.
Speaker 2:But maybe I'll judge based on the title here.
Speaker 1:Accepting discomfort could help you thrive.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a 50-50 for me. I don't know that could be either one. Now, in terms of anxiety, give it a two, two and a half. I think that's some pretty like that's true.
Speaker 1:Now, I don't love discomfort, so I that doesn't give me any anxiety. I like those kinds of articles.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that's a kind of article that I enjoy a read.
Speaker 2:Something you feel constructive about. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:One out of five for me. The next one is advice. How well do you really know your partner?
Speaker 2:Mmm Three yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a little more for me, like a three is probably pretty no.
Speaker 2:I actually. I mean, I feel pretty good that we know each other fairly well. We're usually on the same team.
Speaker 1:But Usually, you never know.
Speaker 2:You never know, guys, you really don't.
Speaker 1:And then the third article Couple spent zero dollars to launch a business from a tiny apartment. It brings in twenty six point five million dollars a year.
Speaker 2:Oh, how much anxiety does that give me? How do you feel about it?
Speaker 1:It doesn't give me any anxiety and it's actually funny, yeah, uh, because the article that he sent me is actually about somebody that I have followed for years and years and years, okay, and I have a mutual friend with her, oh, and she's awesome, okay, and so it was kind of one of those things that I was like ha ha Small world. That's a small world thing and kind of funny and Anyway, no, that doesn't give me anxiety.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It more catches me off guard, but I don't think it's anxiety inducing. So what do they do? What's the? They have a photo editing app. Oh, building an app. That's smart. Yeah, if you can do it. No, I don't believe either one of us can build an app currently, but I bet you could. I would. It takes some learning, for sure. I'd have to beef up some skills. Do you have a word of the week? Word of the week. Word of the week.
Speaker 1:Word of the week. Word of the week. I really did not nail that tune, that's kind of a minor key. Somebody made a suggestion for what our voicemail song should be in my DMs the other day and it was really good. I don't remember what it was at all and I did not write it down, but Perfect, it's okay, I'll go back, we'll find it.
Speaker 2:We'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:It was good. Whatever it was. It was, you guys are so much more clever and brilliant than I am.
Speaker 2:Much cleverer than us. Okay, what's the word of the week? The word of the week is maledroit, maledroit, maledroit.
Speaker 1:Maledroit.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a little flare on it, maledroit.
Speaker 1:Maledroit, it's an adjective, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, maledroit is an adjective that means incompetent or very awkward. It is usually used in formal speech and writing and often describes people who lack skill in handling situations. They're maledroit, joe is maledroit.
Speaker 1:I should get a shirt and everything.
Speaker 2:She just can't handle anything. Well, yeah, is that the gist?
Speaker 1:Joe is maledroit at existing.
Speaker 3:Yeah At existing, I'm gonna get a shirt.
Speaker 1:I like that, I feel like that Maledroit at existing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there it is. That's the t-shirt. Print them up.
Speaker 1:Don't you feel like the way I used it was kind of maledroit.
Speaker 2:It's fine, you did all right. Lacking skill.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, if anything about me to know it is skill.
Speaker 2:She lacks. I mean, you're running on all cylinders, you're looking refreshed.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:How much sleep have you been getting?
Speaker 1:Not very much. Yeah, no, no. So we've had the joy of having my mom here for what A week.
Speaker 5:Yeah, not quite a week, a part of a week.
Speaker 1:And I sleep a lot less when it's when my dad's not here. I sleep a lot less because I take on everything that he usually does, but then I also have all of my normal stuff.
Speaker 2:And two kids and two kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good. I really do enjoy my mom being here. It's really nice because we get to talk and we get a lot of one-on-one time, which we just don't get a lot of time like that in the season of life. I don't think that that's uncommon when you have kids and you know there's just a lot of stuff going on. So I really enjoy having her here and getting to have conversations and spend time together. But also I did not sleep for what? Four or five, I'm trying to think. So five or six nights.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not very much.
Speaker 1:Five or six nights. I was five hours or less.
Speaker 2:Not all in one sitting, and not all in one sitting, yeah, which is not a good spot for you.
Speaker 1:No, it's not.
Speaker 2:That's more my territory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we've been doing better. Yeah, we can talk about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we went to bed like at a reasonable time last night or 11. Yeah, it was good. It's good stuff. Yeah, I woke up this morning. I was like whoa.
Speaker 1:Did you just what it?
Speaker 2:feels like to like sleep even close to enough.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, because I woke up this morning and I still did not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Great, I don't know Well that's it was probably two hours more than I normally sleep, so well, mine too. I like a game changer.
Speaker 1:I slept way more than I usually sleep, yeah, and I still still wasn't enough. I think I'm all kinds of off across the board. Yeah like I need to re-overhaul my. I Need to overhaul my eating. I need to overall my priorities. I need to overhaul probably just everything I've really let life get away from me. What yeah?
Speaker 2:that's uh, it's tough. You just overhaul your entire life. No big deal, it's just habits.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it doesn't have to be this big makeover of doing things perfectly. It's just a lot of small changes in order to, overall, be doing a little bit better. Yeah, and a little bit better and a little bit Better. I'm not trying to twist and contort to do it perfectly all the time, trying to optimize, sure, okay. No, optimize, optimize, okay. We have quite a few voicemails. I don't know if we had emails or not but I'm sure we do.
Speaker 2:But let's get some voicemails first.
Speaker 1:Boys mails.
Speaker 2:Oh Time.
Speaker 1:I love yep.
Speaker 6:Hey, john, matt, I hope you guys are both well. I don't starting off, I don't have a question, but I just wanted to send in a message to Maybe vindicate Joe a little bit. In the last pod there was a bit of debate around whether crispy was hot or cold and, to be honest, I personally have never heard it being used for cold weather. So just wanted to say that at least in Australia, you would always associate crispy with hot weather and just use it in context. It's like oh, tomorrow is gonna be, and this is degree Celsius, sorry, but tomorrow is gonna be 38 degrees. And you'd be like oh, crispy, like and I know that's confusing because 38 degrees in America is cold, whatever you get the point, it's over a hundred. Also, I find it hilarious that you guys were learning to use winch. I probably use that on a daily basis, so have fun with it. And yeah, go have a bit of a winch. Maybe this is my winch winching about crispy, but yeah, I just wanted to say hi and hope you guys will.
Speaker 1:Oh, sarah blows my mind. You listen to our podcast. So truly, guys, I actually know Sarah in real life and Well, kind of sort of, I feel like we're so connected, but it's like just to just enough degrees separated that I don't know if I'm actually allowed to claim Sarah as one of my friends, but I do in real life, even though she's in Australia.
Speaker 1:Well, but she was always in Australia, you know. Yeah, um, anyway, uh, she went to college in Springfield, missouri, where I grew up with people that I know very well and so we're kind of Connected that way. But that's. I forgot the word winch, yeah, what does it mean? Again to wine. Ah complaining I really do like it. I need to use it more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is definitely a more internationally used.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what a couple other people of our international listeners messaged me and we're like oh, I use Winge all the time. Yeah, and I don't know that I've ever. Maybe it's gonna be cool, maybe it's gonna be the next like it's gonna have a come up.
Speaker 2:Maybe, In American culture, you might also sound like you're trying to be international when she's in cool?
Speaker 1:No, it's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we'll see. Maybe you can use it organically. That's gonna be a fine line.
Speaker 1:I feel like everything I do is uncool, Like if I do it, that's probably a sign that it's not cool.
Speaker 2:This isn't the place to come for cool stuff.
Speaker 1:No, absolutely not. Let it be known. I don't think anybody listening thinks that.
Speaker 2:They're not. You're not here for the latest and greatest cool coolness.
Speaker 1:Not so much.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:Which is fair. Hi Joe and Matt, this is Catherine from Denver, colorado. I have been following you guys for a long time, since before your first pregnancy, and originally it was for plant content. I love all of your plants they're gorgeous. But anyways, I had a question for y'all.
Speaker 4:I recently got my first big kid job as a preschool teacher and I love it so much, but it is taking all of my energy to watch over these little kiddos every day and I have been kind of neglecting the rest of my life, including my boyfriend, who I live with and have lived with for two years, and we just feel kind of disconnected recently and because he's a bartender, so he works nights and I work Monday through Friday all day and I was just wondering if you guys have ever had like job disconnect or a lack of energy to devote to each other and if you have any advice for, like, how to get out of that or how to deal with that. I obviously love everything that's going on in my life and I just wanted all to connect a little better. I love you guys. Bye.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think that first job is just really tough because it's a huge shift in your energy, and so the first thing I'll tell you is, over time I feel like you adjust more and get better at working that traditional nine to five and things will get a little bit easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's on you to make that balanced initially, and it's just something you're not used to and so it's tough. There's very much an adjustment period of how do I do this, where do I go, and I feel like I'm not a good authority because I did only work that schedule for 20 months.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like I got into it and I hated it. It did not work for me. I did like I just I couldn't do it. I mean, if I had to I would, but I very quickly was like you know what, I don't have to do this and I went out on my own doing wedding photography, which is going to kind of take us to the next point of having opposite schedules. We have 100% had that super opposite schedule situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Very much because Matt worked a traditional nine to five and I was doing a white, well self employed photography where I was working on the weekends and I was working in the evenings, and so our schedule was really disconnected for a while. But I also think that for us it kind of like we knew it was a season.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not forever and that's kind of the only thing you can hold on to, I feel like, is we'll work it out, we'll get better at it over time, but that initial period is just kind of rough, yeah, especially. Yeah, yeah, they don't operate bars and preschools at the same time.
Speaker 1:No, isn't that crazy. They really should. I don't know that they should, but Well, if you think about it, that's the time that the parents have childcare.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are you proposing? They open a bar that.
Speaker 1:A child with a childcare situation with a bar.
Speaker 2:There you go. Okay, this is an interesting thought. It's making sense to you.
Speaker 1:I backed the question. Just ignore me. Is time small changes, intentional moments to make sure that you're connecting and good luck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Get things on the calendar and work out how to keep your, your work and your the rest of your life separated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've never known how to do that.
Speaker 2:You haven't had a lot of clearly defined lines. Usually you work from where you live, and that makes it inherently much more challenging.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't disagree.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:Hi Joe and Matt. I am calling in from Texas and I had a question for you both. If you could acquire a life skill or trait that would not significantly impact your life, what would it be for me? I cannot sing for the life of me and I love to sing along in the car, so I'd love to sing at just a mediocre level so I wouldn't hurt the people around these ears. And my partner said that he would love to win nine out of 10 rock paper scissor games. He said that 10 would be too suspicious, but nine would be just enough to mess with people. I would love to hear what you both come up with and hope you have a great day.
Speaker 1:The examples are so appreciated. Yeah, I don't know. Do you have one off the top of your head?
Speaker 2:I think I'd like to be good at like skateboarding.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Mainly because our Todd they're just got a skateboard and I was like I'm not good at skateboarding. I've never been good at skateboarding.
Speaker 1:Well, let's get adult boards, let's get long boards. I don't know why.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm going to badly injure myself.
Speaker 1:Shelby just learned we'll get you pads.
Speaker 2:I don't trust it. I don't trust it. Maybe we'll think about it.
Speaker 1:We can get you wrist guards and everything I boarded when I was a kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Up until like teenage years I did it. Then, as I came into adulthood and got aware of how I can hurt myself, my confidence really took a nosedive, and so now I got scared of life and then all of a sudden you got real scared of doing lots of stuff. Well, that's what's so funny is, sometimes I described myself as a kid and the things I did and I'm like I did what? Because now I'm like I would never even try that because I could die, yes. So where did I develop that? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, I don't know I don't know what you've done it either, but that's a really good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know, because maybe like really good at sewing Okay, not like the world's best or anything, obviously, but just being able to quilt and do some of those like because I can sew but I think there's this level of talent with it that it can be a really useful thing to provide to your friends and family.
Speaker 2:Just a functional proficiency with sewing, yeah, yeah. I would also like that, but, yeah, I feel like skateboarding, something like that, okay, something you can enjoy with your kids. I don't need to be world class.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it would be cool.
Speaker 1:As we're both talking, I'm like these are things we could probably learn. Yeah, we could just go Like she said singing, which I feel like we can't really learn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can practice singing. Okay, like I could do an instrument too, like I would love to be at least a functional guitar player again. There was a period where I was not good by any means, but I could play the guitar. I don't know that I can play the guitar again.
Speaker 1:All right, last voice message for today.
Speaker 5:Hi, joan Matt. I am a 22 year old from Oklahoma and a senior in college. I'm having a hard time making a decision that will impact my future. Right now, my college town is an hour away from my hometown and two and a half hours away from my middle sister who goes to the U of A in Fayetteville. I'll be soon teaching next fall and I want to move to a city that's a couple hours away from both my mom and my youngest sister in my hometown and my middle sister in Fayette. I'm struggling with the concept of being mid distance from my two sisters beyond college. I really love in person time together and struggle being away from them. How do you keep your relationships with your sisters and friends that live far tight knit, even with the distance? I worry that they don't feel prioritized by me when I'm not with them. Any advice would be great. Thank you all so much for everything and for being the best part of my drives to school. Thank you, bye.
Speaker 1:Oh, I've never had in person relationships Like that's how so few of my relationships have started. That it's really all I know. I feel like consistent in person relationships are actually kind of an oddity for my life, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I could see that because my sisters didn't live in the same state as me growing up, so just stay connected with them. I already had to utilize different forms of keeping up with one another and I feel like in college I was really tight knit with some girls and seeing them day to day. But I don't know. I think that relationships can be really good when they're far away, like my best friend and I have not lived in the same place for almost 15 years and we talk on the phone every day, and obviously you're not going to do that with every single one of your friends or both your sisters probably, but we talk on the phone almost every single day and we've just formed really good habits of communicating and talking with one another. We send a lot of texts, we use every form of communication, and so I think it's kind of getting in that habit.
Speaker 1:I feel like seasons of transition, like moving away from your hometown or moving from where you were going to college. It's really about getting over that hump of discomfort, because the start of it is very uncomfortable, because it is not the typical things that you've done for so many years to form those bonds and the things that you know you enjoy. But that doesn't mean that there's not enjoyment to be found and it doesn't mean that things can't be good other ways, so kind of accepting that and trying it out. And the other thing is, if you end up in this new spot and you don't like it, you can always move.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can definitely always move, and something you said kind of stuck out to me is the people around you may not feel prioritized. This is a time in your life where you're gonna have to start prioritizing yourself and getting some practice with that. I think I would get used to that as soon as you can and make sure that everyone kind of understands that this is a phase where you're gonna have to develop and learn a lot of things for yourself, and so don't be afraid to prioritize yourself. Definitely try the best that you can to prioritize other people, but you're starting your career, you're starting a lot of different things, and so it's gonna be.
Speaker 1:Always be your number one in most situations.
Speaker 1:I think that's something I'm kind of learning in my 30s is I think that I think in my teen years and my 20s I was so easy to accept from others that, oh well, things are easy right now because you're a teenager, oh, things are easy right now because you're in your 20s. But what I've learned is no matter where you are, what season you're in, people are always going to tell you how it's easier for you than for Not everybody, but some people are always going to tell you that it's easier for you because of where you are, and so if you listen to them, then you're never gonna be focused on yourself, because you're always going to have someone out there that has it harder. And so in your early 20s, you should absolutely be focusing on yourself and learning how to prioritize yourself and not feel guilty for prioritizing and thinking about yourself, which is easier said than done.
Speaker 2:But the better you can do it now, the easier it will be when you have to make harder choices in the future, when you have a partner and potentially children or whatever else you might have that complicates that, or a more established career. The better you can get at striking that balance and making that balance comfortable with everybody in your life, the more prepared you'll be when bigger and better things come.
Speaker 1:And it's hard. I don't know. I think that season right out of college, for me that was one of my hardest transitional times, just because I don't feel like I had a lot of people prepare me for emotionally entering the real world.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I know that's not really what you asked. You asked primarily about friendships and long-distance friendships, and the thing is, the friendships that are going to be there and, like sisterhood, it's always going to be there, and the people who love you are going to love you through this season and you don't have to do it perfectly, and even by asking the question, that tells me that you're probably doing the right things in considering their thoughts and feelings. Yeah, and so do your best. Give yourself grace where you can't do what you used to be able to do, and work on prioritizing yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right Emails. Hey, joan, matt Just want to say I love the podcast. I listen to it every week while at work and it makes my day go by just a little bit faster. I do have a question, probably more specific to Joe. I'm a 22-year-old single mom and I just recently moved into my first apartment with that two-year-old daughter. I've always lived with family and I'm having a hard time adjusting to being alone. I feel like it's more so a safety thing, with just the feeling of being a young woman by myself, even though I live in a pretty decent neighborhood. Just wondering if you have ever dealt with the same feelings and if you did, what did you do to put yourself at ease?
Speaker 1:Get a dog.
Speaker 2:Get a dog yeah.
Speaker 1:Not that's the solution. That could very much not be the solution for you, but that's what I did, because I remember living alone and, honestly, looking back, I kind of wish I would have been able to get a big dog.
Speaker 2:That's going to say you got a 15-pound dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah but even that, the thing about even a dog, it's having another body with you that is on alert. Because when I lived alone in my apartment, if somebody would have been on my porch or if somebody would have come to my door, boji would have barked, she would have let me know that something was. Do you know what I mean For sure, and I think that made me feel so much more at ease because I felt like I could sleep, I could relax, like knowing that somebody had my back.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so that's kind of my immediate thought process. That's what I did. There are other options Like you can, obviously you can put in security systems, you can do things kind of have those extra layers. But I think, especially like with kids and stuff, my immediate thought is get a dog.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's actually again. I'm not the most qualified to Well there's a six to man. I haven't had the same feelings of insecurity in terms of my physical safety much in my life. So yeah, but I think that's really good advice is get a pet. If you can get a pet, get cameras or get some kind of security measures, just that you have a plan, just so that you have some feeling of preparedness.
Speaker 1:I also wanted to note that there's a lot of statistics out there that say it is less likely for something to happen If you have a pet or dog in the home like there's. I know there's all kinds of statistics that back that up, so you may look into that too, just as a note. That's what guided me there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it comes down to just giving yourself a little bit more of a plan and preparedness. And yeah, I like the dog idea. But if that's not fitting for your situation, totally I'm like taking out of dogs a lot. Yeah, yeah, you're a single mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it just it made me feel so safe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know yeah, okay, one more email and then you got to go. All right. Hi, joe and Matt. First off, love you both so much in the content you provide. Thanks for being highlighted every week. I love your thoughts and feedback on this. We have a 16 month old and we are lucky that my mother-in-law cares for three days a week while we work. From the get go. We've communicated that we are screen free for now. It's very important to us to help entertain our daughter. We've set up my mother-in-law with lots of good toys and other activities, but the other day my mother-in-law admitted that she's been letting her watch Miss Rachel. Sometimes I'm having a hard time with this. I feel a little disrespected because we set a boundary that was important to us and she didn't ask. If she would have asked, I think we probably would have allowed a little with limits. I want to be flexible and not controlling, especially because she's providing free care for our busy toddler. Please let me know your honest thoughts on how to handle this. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, it's so hard for me to have an opinion on this because I don't there's too much of my own stuff in the way to give you an unclouded response, because for me we don't have help from family and stuff, and so my immediate perspective and response to that is oh, who cares? Let her watch a little bit of Miss Rachel and whatever she's trying to do this. And I don't think that's a fair response to you, because I think, if I'm in your shoes and I think that it's totally valid that you feel disrespected in that and I think it's totally valid that you wanted that communicated and I think that I have a hard time giving good advice on that because I'm struggling through my own personal things more than I am anything about her.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, it is really tough because you are getting help and, yeah, it's just a really delicate situation without knowing your relationship with your mother-in-law and how you're back and forth is and how comfortable she is receiving feedback and critiques.
Speaker 1:And I definitely am trying to put myself in those shoes because I understand that there are things that if I asked somebody not to do them, that they did it would really actively hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1:But, I also just think that parenting in general, such a give and take and, like Miss Rachel, is such a proven like, 15 minutes of this, 10 minutes of that here and there, are not going to negatively impact your child. So I think, yes, you've been disrespected and I think that maybe opening the door for some communication about that would be the move. And if you're comfortable with some of that, with some limits, in order to create space for your mother-in-law in that time that she's caretaking, that's great. But I do think that's going to take forgiveness and empathy on your part, because you have been disrespected and, like you know, that's just. That's the fact.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think maybe the way to approach it is just to say, hey, I'd have loved to have been consulted. Here's the limits around screen time we'd like to provide. If that's going to be a tool you have to use because, again, I mean, you're also a parent, you know it can be a lot sometimes. So, yeah, maybe it's. Maybe it's that you approach it and say, hey, don't love that it's happening. If it does happen, I'd like to restrict it to this. Yeah, and less so a critique of them providing care. Maybe you can make it a constructive.
Speaker 1:I think that's the important part is making it clear that you feel disrespected because it was not communicated, and less about like you don't trust your. I guess it depends on how you feel, yeah, but I'm sure that that's where the defensiveness would come from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely, framing it, and like I'm bothered because I wasn't consulted about it. But I really appreciate the help and, like we, understand what you're providing.
Speaker 1:Well, because you guys can work for solutions. Maybe that isn't screen time, like if she's feeling overwhelmed and needs a break or a moment to be able to step away and decompress. There might be other solutions other than screen time to replace with which is I'm sure what you're thinking too, and so go ahead and bring that to the table. I don't know. Yeah, anyway, good luck with that. I hate things like that. It's just so part of life, but yeah, it is mentally taxing.
Speaker 2:It will happen with lots of things, so for sure.
Speaker 1:Well, on that note, I'm rushing off to another appointment, and so love you guys. I'm glad we got to chat.
Speaker 2:Adios, bye, good luck.