Paint, Morals, and Unexpected Texts

What happens when you cross a home DIY project with deep conversations on morality and faith? That's right! This week on Oversharing with Overvies, we tackle our long-ignored garage cabinets and dive into the nitty-gritty of our personal relationship journey. Listen closely as we journey from reconnection to engagement and marriage, with an unexpected text message that set everything in motion. We also share our experiences navigating financial advice, retirement perceptions, and word interpretation.

This week we dive into teaching your children morals without without leaning on religion. One of our listeners posed this question, and we take it head-on. We explore how we frame morality outside of religious doctrines and share how we use stories from movies and books to guide our understanding. We also delve into the broader implications of faith and morality, particularly in a predominantly Christian area. Join us as we unpack these critical discussions.

Finally, we give you a glimpse into the mundanity and chaos of our everyday lives, especially with our garage cabinet project. With a fresh navy blue paint and the reattached doors, we can't help but feel proud of our progress. But, let's be real, it wasn't a walk in the park - think babysitter timings, Google DIY videos, and the very real struggle of organization. It's a labor of love, and we're happy to share every bit of this journey with you. Tune in this week for all this and so much more on Oversharing with Overbys.

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
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Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Progress and Challenges With Garage Cabinets

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies. I'm Joe.

Speaker 2 0:02

And I'm Matt.

Speaker 1 0:03

And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voice mails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.

Speaker 2 0:10

With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.

Speaker 1 0:14

I'd like to go ahead and start the podcast on kind of a serious note. Why are you laughing?

Speaker 2 0:20

I don't know.

Speaker 1 0:21

What? Why are you laughing?

Speaker 2 0:23

How serious is this?

Speaker 1 0:24

Very serious.

Speaker 2 0:25

OK, I'll put on a straight face. I don't know. I can't take this seriously.

Speaker 1 0:29

OK, For over six months we've been talking on the podcast about a certain task and we've said almost every week that that weekend was the weekend. Oh and today I have very big news. Ladies and gentlemen, the garage cabinets are painted.

Speaker 2 0:53

We've done it, we've got them they have doors back on them.

Speaker 1 0:58

It is a beautiful wall of navy blue.

Speaker 2 1:02

Yep.

Speaker 1 1:03

The garage has been tackled. Well, we still have some organizing to do in there but the garage cabinets have been tackled and now we can tackle more of the garage. I feel like that's huge progress. I feel like everybody's going to be really proud of us. It is.

Speaker 2 1:20

I mean, I don't know how proud of us they're going to be.

Speaker 1 1:22

They better be.

Speaker 2 1:23

OK.

Speaker 1 1:23

They are in the podcast vehicle driving along life with us cheering us on, and this is a big deal.

Speaker 2 1:32

Sorry, guys, this is what it takes to listen to this podcast. You're basically signing a verbal contract that you have to be a part of this.

Speaker 1 1:41

An auditory contract.

Speaker 2 1:42

Yeah, verbal, I thought worked.

Speaker 1 1:45

It worked. Yeah, I just was. I was reaffirming no, ok, oh, I wasn't. I don't what, just happened.

Speaker 2 1:52

I just don't usually reaffirm people by changing the words they used.

Speaker 1 1:56

I would like to say that maybe you don't reaffirm people at all.

Speaker 2 1:59

Correct, yeah, but I definitely don't do it that way.

Speaker 1 2:02

No, that's true, Poorly. Yes, oh, my goodness. Updates on the week. The main thing I had was the garage cabinets.

Speaker 2 2:12

That's been yeah.

Speaker 1 2:13

I'm really proud of the garage cabinets. Matt ran out on me. I hired a babysitter so that we could record this podcast and finish the cabinets last night and Matt got 10 minutes into helping me Not even it was like 90 seconds and he looked at me and he said, oh man, I forgot my workouts going on. And he ran out the door. Yeah, and then you were like I told you to you should go yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

Speaker 2 2:43

I wasn't just like bye, have fun.

Speaker 1 2:45

No, of course not, Of course. I would never want you to miss your workout, though.

Speaker 2 2:49

Sure.

Speaker 1 2:50

That's like a very established thing in our household that Matt needs to go to his workout.

Speaker 2 2:57

Yeah, it's mainly for my brain health.

Speaker 1 2:59

Yeah, I think it's really good for you. Yeah, so no, it's never like oh my gosh, I cannot believe he left me. What happened was you had a really consistent workout schedule for years and then you did an eight week period or so that you switched it up.

Speaker 2 3:13

Yeah, we changed days and I got used to the new days.

Speaker 1 3:16

So did I.

Speaker 2 3:17

And then we changed back and I didn't.

Speaker 1 3:19

Now I'm really screwy, yeah, but it's OK, it's all good. I did all the cabinet doors by myself, though what was your thought?

Speaker 2 3:26

You installed all the cabinet doors by yourself.

Speaker 1 3:28

Correct.

Speaker 2 3:29

Not painted.

Speaker 1 3:31

Correct. Yes, yeah, we did all of the painting together. Matt did the majority of the painting.

Speaker 2 3:37

Yeah.

Speaker 1 3:38

I did the majority of the priming. You did all the doors, I guess for everything.

Speaker 2 3:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1 3:43

So, never mind, you really did the majority of the painting.

Speaker 2 3:45

The doors were a lot yeah but anyway, you had a question going in there. All right, here, nor there you did the most painting.

Speaker 1 3:53

Ok, gold Star Matt gets a sticker. What I'm asking is what were your thoughts and I'll tell you my thoughts when you came in at four in the morning and had painted all the doors, very, very excited and proud and thankful, I really do appreciate that.

Speaker 2 4:10

I would hope so.

Speaker 1 4:12

I feel like I didn't tell you that, though verbally. No no because I didn't even realize. You did it until you were telling Gardner because I was asleep.

Speaker 2 4:21

Oh, when was I telling Gardner?

Speaker 1 4:23

You were telling her. When we were walking through the garage you were talking to her. You're like, your dad painted those at three in the morning the other night and I was like oh my gosh, I didn't even put that together.

Speaker 2 4:32

I told you in the morning but you must have not been.

Speaker 1 4:35

I have not been all here, but what I let let's just circle back around real quick and then we can get back to that. What did you think when you pulled in from your workout and all the doors were reattached?

Speaker 2 4:47

I was impressed. I was definitely impressed because I hadn't yet even looked at how to put them back on. So when I saw them back on I was like, oh, she did it and that was a lot of doors and they're big and kind of awkward.

Speaker 1 5:01

You know what I did. What'd you do? I Googled it. I was going to.

Speaker 2 5:05

Google it. I watched one.

Speaker 1 5:06

Well it was like a five minute video, but I just went to the part where they put them back on. It's really easy.

Speaker 2 5:11

Yeah yeah. They weren't complicated to get off either, so I just wanted, but I hadn't. But they are a little bulky.

Speaker 1 5:18

There were a couple that I struggled with, yeah there's some big doors.

Speaker 2 5:20

I had a video of me struggling.

Speaker 1 5:22

I should show you the video of me putting the first one on. Though I get the first one on and you would have thought I scored a touchdown like in the Super. Bowl. I was so excited. I was like I can do this.

Speaker 2 5:32

That's great.

Speaker 1 5:34

Anyway, yeah, we've had kind of a tough week man. It's been a little chaotic, We've been we've had a tough sleep week and so something. I'm sure that this is how most households operate, but ours for sure. When one of us doesn't sleep all for a couple nights, I think we hold down the house pretty well because we're pretty supportive of each other, and we make sure that one that hasn't slept can catch up, and we kind of step into each other's shoes where we need to.

Speaker 1 6:03

When neither of us are getting good sleep, everything crumbles very quickly.

Speaker 2 6:10

Yeah, it's been interesting because we haven't had a time where we've both not slept well. Not an extended time, there might be like a night in which case, like the next day might just be a slow day, but we haven't had an extended. Like everybody is not sleeping, what are we going to do for four days, five days, whatever it's been? So yeah, there's been a lot of mornings have been rough around here.

Speaker 1 6:40

Fuses get short really quick. I feel like mornings have been our hardest time. I feel like as we ease into the day, it gets better, oh, 100%.

Speaker 2 6:47

I've physically had a tremendously difficult time getting out of bed in the morning. If you can just like, tip me out of bed and get me moving, I can feel okay for a little bit. No, I understand that, because you're also asleep, but yeah, the mornings have been rough, rough, rough. And then I'm just sitting there with the two kids like oh okay, don't just watch Dino Ranch, let's not just do that, let's do something together, guys.

Speaker 1 7:18

I feel like you've been doing things with them.

Speaker 2 7:20

I have You've been doing like breakfast, because I don't want to get judged for just plopping the kids in front of Dino Ranch for two hours.

Speaker 1 7:27

I would judge you.

Speaker 2 7:28

I know.

Speaker 1 7:28

But I'm not getting up. Well, that's not true. I every single morning, so three mornings. This week I got up one morning and you've done three, and every single morning that you've gotten up I have not gone back to sleep. I've intended to. I've started working, oh, and so I've checked. I just you've assumed I've been sleeping.

Speaker 2 7:50

I figured, yeah, I based on the tiredness.

Speaker 1 7:53

I have not. Oh no, I've immediately gone into. That's actually not true. I have read a couple of chapters of my book and then worked and then gotten ready before I come out.

Speaker 2 8:06

Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 8:08

I like to get myself, if I can, completely ready before I exit our room and enter kid zone, because the first thing, the first interaction I usually have in the morning is doing G's hair Mm-hmm, asking me to do brush teeth and do hair.

Speaker 2 8:26

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:27

And if I'm not ready.

Speaker 2 8:31

You may not be getting ready. I can't get ready. I can't get ready, yeah.

Speaker 1 8:35

Because she wants to dig in my makeup bag and she wants to really be in it with me.

Speaker 2 8:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:39

And I appreciate that, but it takes triple the time. It's more of like a Saturday or a Sunday kind of activity, not so much a weekday.

Speaker 2 8:46

Yeah, If we've got somewhere to be, it's not. We're not getting there on time.

Speaker 1 8:50

I can get myself ready in 10 minutes, flat, you know.

Speaker 2 8:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1 8:53

With G it's gonna be an hour.

Speaker 2 8:55

Also yeah, and once the baby sees you.

Speaker 1 8:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:00

He's good with me until he sees a better option and then he's like I need to be with that person.

Speaker 1 9:09

I am the best option known to man.

Speaker 2 9:12

To him, to him Right.

Speaker 1 9:14

Yes.

Speaker 2 9:15

You're great.

Speaker 1 9:16

No, that's Just to be clear.

Speaker 3 9:17

Yes.

Speaker 1 9:18

But Thank you.

Speaker 2 9:19

If yeah.

Speaker 1 9:22

G wasn't that way Right now for me and parenting because our first go round of babyhood. She was really cool with both of us.

Speaker 2 9:34

Yeah, she was.

Speaker 1 9:35

You know, like she could go back and forth and she was good to go there. There we went through seasons where it was more me or more you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:43

And there was things that she would go to people for different things.

Speaker 3 9:47

Mm, hmm.

Speaker 2 9:48

There was. There was definitely a period where she would go to you for comfort, probably around this age.

Speaker 3 9:52

Mm, hmm.

Speaker 2 9:53

And if anything ever happened, mom was the best option, but she was good with either one.

Speaker 1 9:59

Yeah, where I have never had this experience, where if I'm in the room it is me.

Speaker 2 10:06

Yeah, yeah, even if I'm with him, like holding him, playing with him.

Speaker 1 10:10

Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:11

He's just like turned looking at mom. Yeah, screaming for mom.

Speaker 1 10:15

Yep, yeah, it's awesome we're learning. Doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I resent that.

Speaker 2 10:23

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 10:25

Because you always said that the first time too, anytime I get picked. And the thing is, now we're past that. I got picked for like two seconds as the main and you always said that and now it's you. Oh, it doesn't actually hurt my feelings that much.

Speaker 2 10:41

It is challenging, though, when I'm trying to watch them, because usually you're trying to get something done or because it is very derailing to what you're doing. It's like I'm trying to watch the kids actively trying, and one of them is not having it.

Speaker 1 10:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:58

It's like no, she can't do something, I'm here.

Speaker 1 11:01

Right.

Speaker 2 11:03

So that part is difficult.

Speaker 1 11:04

That's that work from home thing. That is tough, but anyway, here nor there. We're finally here. We're hot on the mic. We made it. Do you have any big updates or anything exciting that you want to share?

Speaker 2 11:17

No, the garage has been a big project. I'm looking forward to sleeping.

Speaker 1 11:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:22

We're going to be away from the kids for the first time in a minute.

Speaker 1 11:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:26

Well the first time ever? I guess yeah, Because the only time that G hasn't had one of us with her is the night Rory was born.

Speaker 1 11:36

That's not true.

Speaker 2 11:38

Okay.

Speaker 1 11:39

We went to your best friend's wedding One night.

Speaker 2 11:42

You're right, two nights, two nights.

Speaker 1 11:44

Oh, it was two nights.

Speaker 2 11:45

Two nights, no no, two nights total.

Speaker 1 11:47

Oh, okay, got it, got it, yeah, yeah. Rory's birth and my friend's wedding In two and a half years.

Speaker 2 11:53

Yep.

Speaker 1 11:54

Crazy.

Speaker 2 11:55

This will double that.

Speaker 1 11:58

Triple that.

Speaker 3 12:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 12:00

Yeah, so it'll be weird. It'll be weird being away from the multiple nights for sure, because they've always had either dad or mom.

Speaker 1 12:10

Yeah, usually me.

Speaker 2 12:12

I guess I realized this the other day. I haven't been away from one of them for probably over two years.

Speaker 1 12:24

I'd like to clarify. I'm always writing disclaimers for myself. That's not because he's not allowed to go play.

Speaker 2 12:32

Oh, no, no, no, I just have nothing to do. Yeah, no, I'm not required to be there, but I was talking after my workout. Actually I was like, oh, I won't be here next week because we're going to Oregon. And then I was like, oh, I'm sorry, oh, I haven't been away from the kids in two years other than, like I said, the wedding and Rory's birth. So we were pretty occupied. But yeah, I don't know how I feel about it. It's very disorienting.

Speaker 1 13:09

It is yeah. Are you emotional about it?

Speaker 2 13:12

Not super emotional about it, just uneasy Like, hmm, this will be different.

Speaker 1 13:17

I feel that Hopefully it all goes well. I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to be flying, flying, yeah.

Speaker 2 13:24

Oh yeah, I never have that sensation of like what if something happens when we're oh, I do yeah.

Speaker 1 13:33

I definitely do, especially with us when I travel by myself I don't as much, because I know there's you.

Speaker 2 13:39

Sure.

Speaker 1 13:40

But us traveling together makes me very, very anxious.

Speaker 2 13:45

Yeah, I, yeah. That doesn't usually strike me, I know I'll be all right.

Speaker 1 13:51

Yeah, I'm excited, though I think it's going to be good and we're going to get a nice little trip in together and we're going to get to see people for work, which I'm very excited about. I'm getting to finally meet my manager for the first time in real life.

Speaker 2 14:06

I. That would be wild.

Speaker 1 14:07

Yeah, we've never met in real life, isn't that wild?

Speaker 2 14:10

Very.

Speaker 1 14:10

I know it doesn't even make sense, really, because I've been with her for what? Three years now A while.

Speaker 2 14:18

Yeah, because you're in communication like close to every day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 14:22

And so I'm very, very excited about that part of our trip. We're going out to Oregon, we're going to see a bunch of people that we talk to on the internet a lot but don't ever get to see in real life, and we're going to get to focus on kind of the year ahead and planning and work, and it's going to be a nice change of pace.

Speaker 2 14:40

Very much so.

Speaker 1 14:41

I think so.

Speaker 2 14:42

Yeah, I think we'll get used to it right away.

Speaker 1 14:44

Okay, so just to pivot us, I'm going to go ahead and kind of dive into what we're talking about today. I'm trying to figure out how to kind of lay out the episode, because the topic at hand is actually in response to a voicemail. So I want to ask Matt, do you want us to do the voicemail, talk about it and then go to Greg's Reads and Word of the Week.

Speaker 2 15:06

Yeah, yeah, let's run it that way. Okay, totally so. This is what we were talking about, though, guys. If you have anything you want us to talk about, shoot us a voicemail. Shoot us an email, and we're happy to explore it, and if it's something that we can make an episode into, we'll make an episode.

Speaker 1 15:22

You guys came through this week on voice messages by the way. I couldn't believe how good they were.

Speaker 3 15:31

Hi Jo and Matt. My name is Malia and I'm listening from Washington, right near Seattle. I was listening to you guys talk about Matt growing up in the church a couple episodes ago and I found it very relatable because my husband and I were both born and raised in the Mormon church, which obviously, as you know, has very strong culture and standards. We decided to leave the church about three years ago and one of the common narratives told by active members about people who have left the church is that they're abandoning their morals or that they won't have morals anymore. We're going to be having our first kiddo in January and I'm honestly kind of worried about teaching them about morals. Like I feel like I don't know how to teach our kids to be good people without putting it in the same way that I was taught in a churchy way. Do you have any advice or reassurances for me? Thank you for the podcast.

Speaker 2 16:39

Keep up the good work. Love you guys. Bye.

Speaker 1 16:41

Interesting, interesting I got really excited listening to this voice now.

Speaker 2 16:49

You got very fired up.

Speaker 1 16:51

I'm going to actually look up the definition of moral.

Speaker 2 16:54

That's probably a good call.

Speaker 1 16:56

Because I think that's a really good place to start, because, as far as I know, the term moral has no religious tie.

Speaker 2 17:07

No, it shouldn't.

Speaker 1 17:08

Like morals have nothing to do. Your morals can be impacted by your religious belief or your faith practices, but morals themselves are not religious.

Speaker 2 17:21

Yeah, Everyone should have some morals and values.

Speaker 1 17:24

Right. So the definition of moral is concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character. The second definition says holding or manifesting high principles for proper conduct. And then, as a noun, it says a lesson, especially one concerning what is right or prudent that can be derived from a story or a piece of information or an experience. And then the second one is a person's standards or behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.

Speaker 2 17:57

Yeah, so that's really the.

Speaker 1 17:59

That's all of the definition, yeah.

Speaker 2 18:01

But the noun is what we're going to be referencing. Correct. It's like it's not an object I don't know what else to say but it's a noun. Yeah, it's what you hold is right and wrong, and it's kind of interesting that you're right. A lot of it does get framed religiously, but we've had a lot of talks about this and it's really interesting where we grow up or not where we grow up, sorry, where we live.

Speaker 1 18:28

And where we grew up.

Speaker 2 18:29

Well, yeah, I guess we grew up, we didn't grow up far from where we live.

Speaker 1 18:32

We grew up two hours from where we live now.

Speaker 2 18:34

So it's not that much of a stretch, but it's so. Much is tied to religion. We've been asked countless times like you're not religious, how are you good people? You seem like such good people.

Navigating Faith and Morality

Speaker 1 18:49

Well, and that's the story I was going to tell. So I, when I moved to Northwest Arkansas and was in college, a lot of my nearest and dearest friends still to this day are very dedicated to their Christian faith and the practice of their Christian faith. It's very important to them. It's where they find a lot of their personal guidance and their morals and their beliefs. And through those friends I got connected with a woman at one point that had invited me over for coffee to talk about her business and we were sitting and we were chatting and I was learning all about what she was doing at the time and she kind of got to a section of her story where she was really telling me about how she developed her relationship with God and how. That's a very important piece of her story and I was listening. Growing up in the Bible Belt of the United States, I hear people tell their stories of finding their faith or how their faith impacted them. All the time it's something that I'm very comfortable around. I'm very comfortable, I don't know.

Speaker 2 20:04

I'm used to it.

Speaker 1 20:04

Yeah, I'm used to it. I don't even think twice about it. I don't really think of it as something that impacts me, and so I like to hear people's personal stories. And she kind of turned the conversation back around on me and asked me about my faith journey, and that's when I had to be like oh you know, I'm not a Christian.

Speaker 2 20:28

Not so much.

Speaker 1 20:29

And it is not something I practice personally, and I've definitely learned to tiptoe around that statement in and of itself, living in such a Christian area, because the immediate reaction is that of what your voicemail said, which is oh, she's not a Christian, how can she have morals?

Speaker 2 20:55

Yeah, oh, they're not good people.

Speaker 1 20:57

And I'll never forget her face, looking back at me, and what she said, and it impacted me so heavily. She looked at me, her face dropped. She looks at me and she goes wait, you're not a Christian, but you seem like such a good person. And I remember that it hurt my feelings so deeply because I realized in that moment that, because my faith didn't align with hers, that she immediately regarded me as someone who's not a good person.

Speaker 2 21:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:44

And that was really hard for me. Did I call you after?

Speaker 2 21:48

I think you called me on the way home. I know that we talked about it.

Speaker 1 21:51

But I called Matt. I said you will never guess what just happened to me. And the funny thing is this has now happened multiple times since then, but it was that first time was so impactful of hearing but I thought you were a good person. You seem like such a good person.

Speaker 2 22:06

As though it's a prerequisite.

Speaker 1 22:09

Right, yeah, and here's the deal. Here's the thing that I'm here to tell you. No matter what your faith is and what you believe, faith is not the only way to be a good person, and if the only reason you're abiding by morals is because of a higher power you believe in, you need to check what your morals are.

Speaker 2 22:33

Yeah, that's. It's one thing for people to be like oh well, how are you a good person? We've also had why are you a good person?

Speaker 5 22:44

Right.

Speaker 2 22:45

Which is an even wilder question to be like. Oh, you're not religious. Why are you a good person Like you don't have to be a good person. You're not religious and you're like whoa. If that's the only thing making you a good person, I'm very concerned about what you personally believe outside of your faith.

Speaker 1 23:00

Now, I think that faith is beautiful and I think that religion can be such a guiding practice, because there are so many morals to be told through the word of God, and the. Bible and things like that. I think that that's where people find a lot of comfort, and for not, it's very clear. Yeah.

Speaker 2 23:21

It's, it's, it's all written out. And then you know, things can be further interpreted and everybody's got their own sects and whatnot that have their own interpretations, but for the most part a lot of the main rules about how you live as a person, you know don't kill people, don't steal from people, that kind of thing. That's all you know, written out very clear.

Speaker 1 23:44

So and if that resonates with you, great and if it does not, this is how we're going to be teaching our kids and how we guide ourselves. I would say, first and foremost, we're big in trusting our intuition and our gut feelings on things, so that is what we're attempting to teach our children is to trust themselves on a very deep level.

Speaker 2 24:12

As for how we're going to teach our kids about morals and about any kind of I Don't know what's another word, right or wrong, I mean the thing is, I think there is a basic set of human morals mm-hmm, I agree societal Things that I think we've developed, just as human beings, through thousands of years of Right and wrong, very basic right and wrong, like We've developed property, because things are ours and things are other people's and that's divided. And you know we don't kill each other because it's not very Productive for the the group. So I think there's a basic level of right and wrong that is more or less understood. And if you don't have the understanding, there's usually something wrong there.

Speaker 1 25:04

Well, and the other thing I was gonna say is, you know, if you grew up in a church setting, you learned from stories, but if you really spend time thinking about it, those weren't the only stories you were learning from. If you took in Disney movies, if you took in like I'm thinking of, like Charlotte's web, you know yeah some of those books that we all grew up reading Winnie the Pooh.

Speaker 1 25:26

There are all kinds of storytelling, things happening around you that we're teaching you right from wrong, that weren't necessarily connected to faith, and so my biggest focus with our children is to really hone in and encourage them to trust their gut and to trust what resonates best with them. Yeah because I want them to learn From, and feel guided by what stories hit them Most deeply.

Speaker 2 26:04

Yeah, that's a big part of adolescence and growing up is building your own system of beliefs and system of Right and wrong, and so much of it is like you said. There's stories, all all these things, but they're based on how our actions Impact other people mm-hmm how other people's actions impact us.

Speaker 2 26:24

How do we feel about it? Do we feel good, do we feel bad? Is it productive, is it not productive? Is it hurtful? Is it helping all these things? I don't think they're bound by. You know, a religious text. That it's not that they're more or less understood or the results of them are evident and so the stories help us understand them directly, but it's all built on things that we understand, if that makes sense. The more I talked about that, the less it seemed like it made sense.

Speaker 1 27:01

Yeah, you're getting a little Vague, a little big picture and I think that. I think that is when it feels overwhelming to people. Absolutely, it's because you get really big picture, because you're like well, there's right and there's wrong, but why is it right and why is it wrong?

Speaker 2 27:14

You know, but so much of it is your gut, it's, it's going oh, that doesn't feel right and you have to maybe break it down a little bit for yourself and break it down for them, but in the end it's it's what feels right to you, and Are you using a Broad perspective to look at things?

Speaker 1 27:36

and for some people, they accredit that gut feeling to their faith sure Okay so I think that's the confusing part is, if you, I think for you please correct me if I'm wrong. Growing up, people like you were kind of told that that that feeling in your gut was your faith and that didn't connect for you, and so it was kind of easy to break apart from you.

Speaker 2 27:58

Okay, yeah when.

Speaker 1 27:59

I think people who grew up in a really religious setting, who have trauma with that and really deeply believed it and are now trying to Deconstruct that because they no longer resonate with it and are finding it doesn't make sense to them. They still think that connect that gut feeling to their faith and can't trust All of it, okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 2 28:21

What I would say to that is if you feel like you're a good person, if you feel like you have a moral code that Makes sense to you and it works and is effective how you got there, I don't know, totally matters If. If you have a system that you feel good about, like it matters to you, but if you're trying to pass things along, you can pass them along differently than you received them. You don't have to use the same left like the same lessons, the same stories. You will have a feeling of this is right and this is wrong. That you understand now how you pass. That doesn't have to be through religion.

Speaker 2 28:59

Yes, I guess is what I would, and so the question is how?

Speaker 1 29:04

how are you doing?

Speaker 2 29:05

Yes, Okay, oh Questions. That's funny because I don't know that we've talked about how, like I Think we kind of have a like oh, we're gonna know it when we see it, kind of deal, but um.

Speaker 1 29:22

I don't know. Well, Matt and I are kind of guilty of we don't. I don't know that we feel the need to Create a really strong system around things. Because, I think that something we've learned the longer we've been together is we have Extremely aligned Senses of right and wrong and moral. Yeah, and so we don't require a lot of discussion figuring out what we're gonna teach our kids, because we want to teach our kids what we believe to be right and wrong and we want our kids to develop their own beliefs and we both agree on that yeah, okay, and so.

Speaker 1 30:05

I don't think there's a lot of Discussion we need to have in terms of structuring that part of things now. We've been very adamant that we Communicate with them on why we're kind.

Speaker 2 30:23

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 30:24

Why we are kind to ourselves and our bodies.

Speaker 2 30:28

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:30

Why we want to give back to those around us. Mm-hmm you know, those are all things that we're doing.

Speaker 2 30:37

Okay, yeah, no, that's, that's absolutely true. And I think the way that we do that and we, we, you know you have a two-year-old they're gonna do things that you have to explain. You know we can't hurt other people, we can't do these things. We have to talk, we have to, but so much of it is just, and they understand, like is that how you would want to be treated? Is this Safe? Does this hurt people? Does this hurt you?

Speaker 1 31:07

So much of that is just very human and I think, at some level, and I for me it's not human nature to hurt other people. It's not human nature, unless you're in a situation of fight-or-flight needing to protect yourself.

Speaker 2 31:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 31:30

I don't think that we have that, but and so it's having those conversations, so that we've connected the dots of, oh, that behavior that can be hurtful to others, yeah, and and having a really open dialogue Surrounding our behaviors. I don't know.

Speaker 2 31:52

Yeah, right, I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 31:53

She's never been that.

Speaker 2 31:56

Yeah, a lot of the negative sides of that are things that we've learned from negative environments. It's even if people grow up with faulty values on right and wrong, it's because it was reflected in their home life or they got it somewhere Like. I feel like that's kind of. The fear is that you'll pass along morals that are not right.

Speaker 1 32:21

I agree, and I think that that actually helps me wrap up my answer to this question in a more succinct way, and that is whether you teach your morals through your faith or through your personal beliefs. However you want to define what you're teaching. I know people who were taught their morals through Christian values that have really beautiful morals that I completely align with and love, and I know people who learn their morals in the Christian faith who have morals that I absolutely do not align with, that I don't even understand how they got there. I also know people who grew up in agnostic households or atheist households that I align with their moral codes perfectly, and some that I don't. Actually speaking, a moral code is simply your belief of what is right and what is wrong, and in our house, what we're teaching our kids for what is right and what is wrong is we love people to the best of our abilities. We are kind to people to the best of our abilities. We trust ourselves and our instincts first and foremost, and yeah, yeah, value other people, value yourself.

Speaker 1 33:51

That's the line really Value other people, value yourself.

Speaker 2 33:54

Yeah, because people are almost always making decisions for a reason that makes sense to them. People aren't making decisions even if you don't agree with them. They're making them for the reasons that they hold important or, as a you know, to protect themselves or protect people around them.

Speaker 1 34:16

And the way we'll teach those is through the stories we choose, the books that we choose, the movies that we watch, the real life encounters that we have, and discussing them openly and honestly.

Speaker 2 34:28

Yeah, it's. I think that's a really good point as well. It's about fostering an environment that your kids are okay coming to you asking questions because it's going to happen, and it has to be an environment where they feel safe not only having questions but being corrected and being and also an environment where they feel okay when they have that gut feeling of having done wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:54

Coming to you and be like, hey, I think I did wrong. And teaching them how to navigate that, because I don't think anybody on this planet that I've talked to has made it through not screwing up.

Speaker 2 35:08

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 35:09

And I know a lot of people who haven't felt like they have a safe space to go to when they screw up. To be honest and have guidance, and that's really important to me with my kids is that they feel comfortable, not that they're like screw it, I can do whatever I want.

Speaker 2 35:24

It's not like that, it's no rules, I make the rules yeah.

Speaker 1 35:29

Not like that by any means, but more. Hey, when I screw up, who do I call? And those trusted people? My parents.

Speaker 3 35:36

I hope.

Speaker 1 35:37

Yeah, We'll see. I mean again, remember we have a two year old and an eight month old. So what do? We know we're just in the beginning of practicing this and learning it ourselves.

Speaker 2 35:47

Yeah.

Speaker 1 35:48

But? But you're in charge of what stories you tell those things through, and there are a lot of resources out there also, I think for me it's almost even hard to give advice of what you do instead, because I don't really know how you use faith to teach those things.

Speaker 2 36:07

Yeah, yeah, I don't know that I grew up in a like. I didn't grow up in an environment where things were like, where we referenced back to it so much. Like we were in church, but it wasn't like you took those lessons and they were understood, but so much of it was more faith based. It was not like here's good and here's bad, and this is why and this is how.

Speaker 1 36:28

The part that I keep coming back to about the voicemail, though, is I don't know much about the Mormon church or anything. I know a little bit here and there from following content creators that you know or Mormon or grew up Mormon, but the thing that the caller said that really shocked me is that the teaching is that anybody that has left no longer has morals, when really I don't know that there is such a thing as no morals.

Speaker 2 36:59

Yeah, you can have morals that.

Speaker 1 37:01

Don't align.

Speaker 2 37:02

Yeah.

Speaker 1 37:03

It's not like you end up with no sense of right or wrong.

Speaker 2 37:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1 37:06

So I don't know if that was helpful. It definitely got us into a discussion.

Speaker 3 37:11

Sure.

Speaker 1 37:13

If nothing else, but we'll hop into Greg's Reads of the Weeks. Do you have any final remarks, I guess, before we hop into Greg's Reads of the Week?

Speaker 2 37:21

No, no, I think I might have made it worse.

Speaker 1 37:25

I don't think that's true. I feel like that was hard it was a hard question.

Speaker 2 37:32

Yeah, it's more almost a philosophical question.

Speaker 1 37:36

Yeah, and I think it's deeply personal and everybody's a little bit different. I think you got this yeah.

Speaker 2 37:41

You seem. If you're worried about it, usually that's a good sign.

Headlines, Retirement, Word Interpretation

Speaker 1 37:44

I agree, I completely agree. And jumping into motherhoods, a lot and congratulations and all that good stuff. Okay, we're going to jump into Greg's Reads of the Week. Greg is my dad. He sends us lots of articles. We like to read those headlines that he sends us and rate it on a scale of one to five on how much anxiety that headline gave us. So, first and foremost, the number one key to a happier, longer life that younger people don't know, according to the oldest and wisest.

Speaker 2 38:13

It's a long title.

Speaker 1 38:15

Two oh really.

Speaker 2 38:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1 38:17

Zero out of five for me, or one out of five.

Speaker 2 38:20

Yeah, anything where it's like longer life. Never really sure about that.

Speaker 1 38:25

Well, it's the number one key to happier, Happier happier, longer life.

Speaker 2 38:29

I'm just hearing longer life Always consistency. Got it.

Speaker 1 38:33

I didn't read this because he sent it literally six minutes ago, but I feel like it's always consistency. And time is finite. Don't spend it regretting things. Oh regret. That one's about regret. No regrets, no regrets. I feel like we're pretty low-regret people.

Speaker 2 38:56

Yeah, I can't remember the past. Does that mean we're going to?

Speaker 1 38:57

live forever, anyway, okay, no it does not. I've always ignored my dad's money advice until I watched him use a four step dot dot dot business insider, it seems a little pointed Three. No anxiety for me, one out of five. I read this one Okay.

Speaker 1 39:15

I. Here's the thing that is infuriating about retirement articles and I talk about it week after week. I feel like and that is all of the articles Like I read this and it was like the four step system is to live under your means and save money consistently from the time you're young. But the thing with that is, in order to save money from the time that you're young, I just don't think that a lot of these money articles, I don't know, I don't know if it's geared toward me. I'm sure dad's trying to be like you're doing it right, like great job kids, and I appreciate that, but I actually find articles like it a little bit Patronizing hmm, because you're either doing it, and so you're already doing it, or I don't know very many people that can do it.

Speaker 1 40:05

Yeah that are actively choosing not to I think it's a lot more relevant than you I think it's a lot more relevant than you. That's right. In my personal experience, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I just.

Speaker 1 40:17

I think it used to be a lot more relevant, like for their generation. Yeah, I think it was much more relevant in the 90s, in the 2000s, to Choose, not to save or like, and I think there's a lot more information out there now. It's much more accessible to all people and I think you're either, I think that a lot of people aren't making enough to do it. They're not doing it right, but I think that's a good point.

Speaker 1 40:40

How much do I actually need to retire? Fidelity wants you to save 10 times your income by age 67.

Speaker 2 40:48

I don't know.

Speaker 1 40:48

Four five out of five. I'm so tired hearing about retirement dad.

Speaker 2 40:54

We're not gonna make it.

Speaker 1 40:56

No, like I love you dearly, but Whew, okay, I'd like some articles, not about money.

Speaker 2 41:05

He's already there. He's already retired, so he can stop reading about it if he wants.

Speaker 1 41:10

Maybe he just thinks that retirement is so good. He's just really excited about it for us. Maybe that's it, you know, last one for today, 68 year old, who started 50 businesses, how I built a 40 million dollar egg company.

Speaker 2 41:22

I don't know that. Four again. Oh really 50 businesses. That seems like too much.

Speaker 1 41:30

One out of five. I won't lie, I don't really care. I'm just at this point that I don't.

Speaker 2 41:38

I don't know that other people's you don't have room for like 48 more businesses, or what.

Speaker 1 41:44

No, I just I don't. I think I've taken what I can take From other people's journeys, like I'm at a point in my life right now when I don't want to take in too many other stories, I just want to live mine.

Speaker 2 41:56

Yeah, you want the opportunity to Get your own story going.

Speaker 1 42:00

You know you're picking up what I'm throwing down.

Speaker 2 42:02

Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 42:06

I don't know, I'm just not that Don't care. Right now I care about that human. I don't think that you know.

Speaker 2 42:14

I don't know, I don't care that much.

Speaker 1 42:18

Right. But like I'm saying that, I think that their story is valuable and I'm glad that their story is getting told. I'm just not sure that I'm the person that values it in this moment.

Speaker 2 42:28

I'm pretty confident.

Speaker 1 42:30

Okay, I'm pulling another voicemail for our Word of the Week.

Speaker 2 42:33

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 42:34

Do-do.

Speaker 5 42:36

Hi Matt and Joe. Me and my boyfriend Are calling in from Texas. I listen to Elsponkis every week and Love the Word of the Week section. It's always one of my favorite things to listen to, and me and my boyfriend Were sitting here tonight and I told him that his memory was construed and he told me that that wasn't a word and, since he had a college degree, that he knew better. That's exactly right. So we googled the word and it is in fact a real word and I think that my meaning behind it is correct, but he thinks that it's not. So I wanted your expert opinion and maybe this could be your Word of the Week.

Speaker 2 43:12

Thanks, Mmm, construed. I'm familiar with misconstrued, so that's misunderstood basically. So I would think construed is Basically.

Speaker 1 43:26

I'll look it up for you.

Speaker 2 43:28

I don't know that I've ever heard Construed used on its own. Really, that's one of those that I wouldn't be 100% confident. I would need the context of the sentence To really.

Speaker 1 43:41

His words could hardly be Construed as an apology.

Speaker 2 43:44

Okay.

Speaker 1 43:46

To interpret a word or action in a particular way.

Speaker 2 43:49

Okay yeah. Okay, so understood in a Specific Manor.

Speaker 1 43:56

Yeah, so I'm not sure that it applies Into the sentence like his memory was construed. Well, I don't know. It really depends on what you were trying to say it's hard for us to judge yes or no.

Speaker 2 44:07

Yeah, what was his memory doing? Yeah or was it that he didn't remember things? Is that what it was?

Speaker 1 44:10

I don't know. Construed To interpret a word or action in a particular way Construed, construed, yeah, okay, that's all I'm trying to Really read into this and I'm giving it too much Attention. I've heard the word construed.

Speaker 2 44:31

Again.

Speaker 1 44:31

I've almost always heard Misconstrued is something that I hear more, but it makes sense to me that Construed would be a word of reasoning Because it would be no different than like understood Versus misunderstood, correct.

Speaker 2 44:42

Yeah, that's exactly how I backed into it. I was like misconstrued I'm very familiar with, so I'm assuming construed is the opposite.

Speaker 1 44:48

Yeah okay, well, from there, we got our word of the week. We got our. We're rocking, we're rolling. Do we want to jump into some voicemails?

Speaker 2 44:56

Yeah, let's run it.

Speaker 1 44:58

Voicemails. I really wish we had a voicemail song. Is there anybody that listens that? It's a Musician or a singer or a DJ or I don't know.

Speaker 2 45:08

Yeah, do you want to make?

Speaker 1 45:09

a, a rapper, like how fun would that be, like a little word of the week beat, a little Greg's reads the week beat. And a little like voicemails beat yeah put some more clips in. We really make it easy. We're like a. Just so everybody listening Understands when Matt and I record, it's so smooth and we just go from start To finish and we definitely haven't had To get up a dozen times during this recording Because our babies aren't sleeping. That was not a baby that you just heard talking In the background.

Speaker 2 45:40

That's just background noise yeah, hope that came through. That's the only one I hope came through, but uh, yeah, yeah, it's been a recording. Usually it goes pretty well. Today has not been that day.

Speaker 1 45:56

Usually we don't record after Bedtime, but our week has been tight so alright. We're gonna jump into voicemails.

Speaker 4 46:04

Hi Jo and Matt. My name's Alina, I live in Washington and I love to travel with my family and explore new cities and states. So my question is when is the best time to visit Northwest Park and Sock and what are some places that you recommend To see or like places to eat? And I do have a year and a half old daughter, so what are some fun kid places To do around your area? I would love to hear your answer and I love your guys' podcast. Thank you for doing this Every week.

Speaker 1 46:35

Yeah, Rory loves your question. I deeply. I have strong feelings about this. I think the best time to visit Northwest Arkansas is the last week of October or the first week of November.

Speaker 2 46:46

I was gonna say it was like 72 degrees today. You should be here today. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 46:50

Okay, the reason I think it's great during that time Is that's when the trees usually turn. And it's very beautiful here On good fall months. Totally fair and there's really good hiking and I feel like hiking when the leaves are beautiful Is really, really fun.

Speaker 2 47:05

I'm with you there.

Speaker 1 47:06

I was also gonna note May Like early May. I really that's like my favorite time of year Late April, early May. Now the trick there is that you can really catch some rainstorms. And that's just spring, not that early usually.

Speaker 2 47:20

Hopefully not. No, not late April, usually Early May.

Speaker 1 47:22

I don't feel like it's usually hot then, yeah, you gotta go early though, but again I'm gonna go back to the same activities.

Speaker 1 47:29

There's a lot of really good hiking Like Kings River, kings River Falls, devils, den, hawksville, crug. I also think it's really fun If you come in the holidays Like all of the squares in our area Do big light shows and there's a lot of like winter activities that are really fun, I think, with the kids. But I don't know that I'd want to like vacation. That's more like a hallmark If you live here, kind of thing maybe.

Speaker 2 47:52

Yeah, cause that you would do that, and then it would just be Gray.

Speaker 1 47:57

Right, exactly. So I'm gonna say last week of October, first week of November or late April, early May.

Speaker 2 48:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1 48:04

And I like I think Late April, early May is my Personal favorite time of the year Because nothing brings me alive more Than everything starting to turn green and getting first blooms of the season and I just that weather is really fun and we have a ton. If you came at either of those times, airship Coffee has a really cool Coffee shop Locally that you walk to. You can't drive there and so you can go Park at the Outside of the mountain Viking and walking trails and you walk in and it's this little spot in the middle of nature and that's really, really fun. We've done that with the kids and it's a blast. There's the Amazium, which is a museum Specifically for children, an activity center and stuff. We have crystal bridges and the momentary, which are incredible museums. And they always have.

Speaker 1 48:58

Really cool things going on there and I feel like Northwest Arkansas Always has really cool events going too. There's also all kinds of local Restaurants and businesses and artisans Both times that I've named would be great To go to the farmers market on Saturday and Fayetteville or Bentonville. There's all kinds of fun stuff Doing Rogers. If you can catch a live performance At the amp, we have a lot of really cool Musicians that come in and the amp's. A really cool venue to go to. Okay, what about you? Do you have anything?

Speaker 2 49:29

I think you've covered it all In much greater depth Than.

Speaker 1 49:32

I would ever get to.

Speaker 2 49:35

Do you have a time of your thought? Yeah, I think fall, I think fall's the best, but I mean you gave such a specific fall. I think that's ideal.

Speaker 1 49:43

I just feel like people a lot of times Come for the leaves and then are disappointed and the leaves like it's so short-lived.

Speaker 2 49:49

Yeah, it's a narrow window to try and hit yeah, but in the fall, there's always stuff going on. There's football and everything. Apple ordered pumpkin patch.

Speaker 1 49:58

Okay, you can go to an SEC football game.

Speaker 2 50:00

Yeah, like there's just, there's a lot.

Speaker 1 50:04

Summer's fun here too, because you have the lake. I don't know. There's always something to go do. It just kind of depends on what part You're looking to explore and what you're into.

Speaker 6 50:14

Can you say For sure?

Speaker 1 50:16

Okay, last Voice mail.

Speaker 6 50:22

Hi Jo and Matt. I have kind of a Kind of a Timeline question, I guess. So I was listening to the last podcast when Jo was discussing how in your mid-20s so many things could change and how she was dating Matt and not dating Matt and then you guys were engaged and all that and it kind of gave me like Ted Mosby and Victoria vibes From how I met your mother. So I was just wondering when you guys got back together, like how quickly were you guys getting engaged? Was it like Victoria, where she wanted Everything to move, like time hadn't stopped, or did you guys Kind of have to restart Because obviously you had grown during that time? I'm just wondering a bit about that. So thanks in advance for the answer.

Speaker 2 51:08

Good question. Good question, I mean we'd been together a long time Before that, but we'd been in like school and I know neither one of us was like, oh, we're gonna get engaged when we're in school. That was definitely not gonna happen, but I would say it's probably closer to as though time had passed it was. I don't think it was a reset for sure.

Speaker 1 51:33

I can give an exact timeline if you want one.

Rekindling a Relationship

Speaker 2 51:35

Yeah, I can't give an exact timeline, that's not my forte.

Speaker 1 51:38

But Matt went to see my parents at Thanksgiving of 2015, when you were home for the holidays, and that was because you were just looking to talk to them. Nothing to do with me, yeah.

Speaker 1 51:54

You were going through your own personal stuff and you had more of a relationship with my parents at the time than you did your own, so you went to go talk with them. My mom called to let me know that she had seen you just because she felt like weird not telling me. I sent you a text on December 1st because my mom didn't tell me that she'd seen you for like a week or two, Like she didn't call me right after you left or something. It was a couple of weeks and.

Speaker 1 52:17

I was like weird that you didn't tell me that right away. It wasn't on Thanksgiving. It was just during that time.

Speaker 2 52:24

Yeah, it was when I was back for.

Speaker 1 52:28

And December 1st I sent you a text and I just said, hey, if you need anything, let me know. Like I know, we kind of left on a no contact kind of foot, but I'm always here for you, whatever Sure. And I said, if you're ever in Northwest Arkansas, let's go get coffee. And I was just being nice and you were like yeah.

Speaker 2 52:47

I was also just being nice. Just being nice, did not tell you when I came back.

Speaker 1 52:50

No. Well then, on New Year's Eve, on 2015, moving into 2016, my best friend was dating a buddy of yours at the time, like my best friend from college, and we lived together and we went out with separate groups for New Year's Eve and then we reconvened at like two or three in the morning when our Ubers dropped us off back at the house and she was recapping her night and telling me a story and she's like blah blah blah. Matt did blah blah blah and I went excuse me and 23-year-old me, had had no 22-year-old me. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 53:26

I'm a baby.

Speaker 2 53:28

Is that?

Speaker 1 53:28

right, that's wrong.

Speaker 2 53:30

No, that's right, and I do math 2015, moving into 2016.

Speaker 1 53:34

Yeah, I'm 22.

Speaker 3 53:36

Wow.

Speaker 1 53:37

I was a baby Okay, 22-year-old me had had what you expect a 22-year-old to have had to drink on New Year's Eve.

Speaker 2 53:45

Enough.

Speaker 3 53:45

Moving into New Year's Day.

Speaker 1 53:46

Enough and I was like Matt didn't text me and tell me he was in town. I thought we were going to go get coffee. It's like 23-year-three in the morning, yeah, and I sent Matt a text at 23-year-three in the morning without any thinking, no filter. I was just like yo, I don't do you remember what I said? I think basically.

Speaker 2 54:08

Like you didn't tell me you were in town.

Speaker 1 54:10

Yeah, what the hell.

Speaker 2 54:12

And I don't think I responded did.

Speaker 1 54:13

I Nope, no, no, not right. I mean you did respond, but the next day, right, the next day.

Speaker 2 54:19

It's going to say no, I saw it. I saw it when you sent it?

Speaker 1 54:21

Oh, did you really? Oh yeah, oh yeah, we were up hanging out. I didn't know that telling more.

Speaker 2 54:26

I saw it and I was like I'm not responding to this right now.

Speaker 1 54:30

Really, I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 54:32

Yeah, I was like that's not a good idea.

Speaker 1 54:35

Why was it not a good idea?

Speaker 2 54:36

I was like I shouldn't incentivize this behavior Like.

Speaker 1 54:40

Drunk taxing at three in the morning.

Speaker 2 54:42

Yeah, I was just like.

Speaker 1 54:42

You thought that you responding was an incentive.

Speaker 2 54:47

You seemed like you wanted me to respond and talk to you. I guess I did, I mean why else would I have texted you? I know that's what I'm saying, so you slept on it. Yeah, I was just like I'm not going to deal with this right now, did you know you were going to respond. Yeah, I was going to respond. I think I knew I was going to respond. Yeah, I'm sure I did.

Speaker 1 55:11

Okay. Well, I woke up in the morning and was like, oh, I sent Matt a text last night, wild. I was like, oh well, he's ignoring me. And then you texted me back at like I don't know, late morning 10.

Speaker 2 55:23

Yeah.

Speaker 1 55:24

And you were like do you want to go get a drink or something today?

Speaker 2 55:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1 55:28

And I said sure, we found the only bar open in Northwest Arkansas on New Year's Day.

Speaker 2 55:33

Yeah, New Year's Day.

Speaker 1 55:35

And we got a drink and now we're married.

Speaker 2 55:38

Yep.

Speaker 1 55:39

We got engaged, I'm getting there.

Speaker 2 55:41

Okay.

Speaker 1 55:43

We didn't start dating. Sorry, you're right, I wasn't getting there.

Speaker 2 55:48

No, you took a long time recapping a story they didn't ask about.

Speaker 1 55:52

Okay, sorry. I love that story. I can tell it in even more detail, but I've never heard it from that perspective from you. I'm going to ask you so many questions about this one.

Speaker 2 56:02

I'm sure this podcast is over.

Speaker 1 56:04

I have so many more questions, anyway. So we didn't start dating right after that, though. No, we started talking to each other and casually seen each other every now and again when you were back in North Arkansas, yeah, and then in the summer, I think it got to be pretty consistent, like we knew we were exclusive.

Speaker 2 56:24

Yeah, yeah, and I would come down just to see you and hang out with other people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 56:29

So by summer of 2016, we were exclusively seeing each other again, but we didn't announce. We told our family, but we didn't announce it Like online, publicly to all of our friends, not publicly. We didn't have a social media following. I just know like to our like everybody, and tell Thanksgiving that year.

Speaker 2 56:50

Yeah, because it was pretty much understood that if we got back together again, that like we would be getting engaged and married and all of that.

Speaker 1 57:02

So back together summer 2016,. Engaged September of 2017, married May of 2019. Yeah, that's the timeline, yep.

Speaker 3 57:12

Do you think they wanted that much?

Speaker 1 57:13

detail. No, I don't think so either. No, I don't think we.

Speaker 2 57:16

If they did. I don't think we gave them the detail they wanted. Yeah. I think the last little bit is what they were looking for. So yeah, it was somewhere in between it wasn't a total reset and again getting back together.

Speaker 1 57:29

It was pretty resetty.

Speaker 2 57:30

I feel like yes, but we knew each other like but you can't do a hard reset when you know people that long.

Speaker 1 57:36

Yeah, I mean you have to be apart for like years.

Speaker 2 57:40

Yeah, many years. Yeah, exactly so. You can't undo history, no, no no, no, and we didn't have like a wild amount of history. We'd made differently in the year we were apart. So yeah, we more or less picked up where we were. If we'd have been together, we still wouldn't have gotten engaged. I don't think for a while. No, we would have.

Speaker 1 58:06

We needed the year yeah. Like we evolved a lot separately. That that was really good and we'll always, I think, be advocates for people breaking out.

Speaker 2 58:16

Yeah yeah, you should, just when you're together that well, at least I don't know.

Speaker 1 58:21

I meet people that it works. We were not those people. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 58:25

I mean, it wasn't working when we were together. I guess, if it, was just working perfectly, then non-issue For us. It was not, so we broke up. If you're having difficulties and you've been together forever. You should probably try not being together. Yeah, I agree, we like that advice.

Speaker 1 58:43

Yeah, that's our default.

Speaker 2 58:45

The default is never like oh yeah, force it to work. You've been together so long. Yeah, no such thing as Sun cost policy yeah. Yeah, no such thing as sun can cost in relationships in our take but well on that note.

Speaker 1 58:56

I have no idea how long this podcast is. I couldn't tell you. I want everyone listening to know that it says we've been recording for two hours and 15 minutes. That's how chaotic this has been. Yeah, yeah, it's going to wind up being like 47 minutes.

Speaker 2 59:11

I'm wondering if it's even an hour. Yeah, I don't think it is. Oh, it's been a wild time.

Speaker 1 59:16

But on that note, we love you all very much. Please rate, review us, leave a comment on YouTube watch on YouTube watch on Spotify. Listen on Apple Podcasts. I don't know.

Speaker 2 59:29

Maybe just one of those you don't have to do. Oh yeah, you don't have to do all of them.

Speaker 1 59:32

Yeah, whatever works for you, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 59:34

If you want to do that that'd be fantastic, but that seems like a lot. Yeah, I agree. There's only so many times you want to listen to this one.

Speaker 1 59:39

What if everybody that listened was?

Speaker 2 59:41

so dedicated that they listened to it three different places.

Speaker 1 59:44

That would be great and ridiculous.

Speaker 2 59:47

That would be why I bet Taylor Swift fans would do that. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 59:50

I bet Taylor Swift fans would do that. I bet Taylor Swift fans. Stream it on 14 different devices, all at the same time.

Speaker 2 59:57

That makes sense, yeah.

Speaker 1 59:59

I love that for her.

Speaker 2 1:00:00

Yeah, that's phenomenal, that's dope.

Speaker 1 1:00:01

All right, well, on that note, love you all. Have a great day. Bye, bye for now.